mary jane shoes flats


Well it still feels like winter here. The mornings are in the high 40s. So, tossed my pride hoodie on top of my work outfit to stay warm.

Dress: Lularoe Amelia size 2X
Leggings: Lularoe TC
Shoes: Crocs Mary Jane flats, size 11
Hoodie: Target, XL, I know they’re an evil Corp and all but my SISTER sneaky bought it for me and made me cry happy tears and it has a Pegasus on the front so I will love it forever.

Labyrinth 2

    The rain pattered against the window in large splattering drops, drowning out the noise of the family gathering. Sarah Williams sat on the window seat in an uncomfortable position, trying not to forget her posture lest some aunt or grandmother reprimand her again. She wore a cream colored, long sleeved, fitted blouse that extenuated her figure in a way suitable for a college girl. She also wore black slacks and black, flat, mary-jane shoes. Her make up was light, but noticeable; a bit of eyeliner, mascara and red-tinted lip gloss, and she thought herself presentable.
    Her gray-green eyes followed the swaying of the pine trees against the inky sky, their image contorted by the rivulets of water coming down the window. A brilliant flash of lightening broke her out of her reverie and she blinked a few times, coming back into the present. Glancing around the room anxiously, she saw almost her entire extended family mingling amongst themselves, some drink or another in hand. Her stepmother was busy clearing plates from the Easter table, just then catching the eye of the young woman.
    “Oh Sarah, won’t you snap out of your newest day dream and come help with the dishes?” Irene asked impatiently. A question she had posed numerous times before.
    “Yeah, of course. Sorry.” Sarah shook her head, sincerely frustrated with herself for not being more of a help that night. While the relationship between her and her stepmother had considerably softened over the last couple of years, she knew there was an impending string of complaints she would hear about her behavior that night.
    Sarah had been withdrawn and unhappy the last few days, in a sensitive mood, and noticing the most depressing details; especially as she tried socializing with her relatives. Somehow, they never ceased to remind her of her own silliness or inadequacies, furthering how self conscious she really was. Other than that, she knew she could mostly blame the new stressors of college life, but there was something else bothering the girl entirely.
    Lately she had been resenting the adult identity she was trying so hard to get comfortable with, finding herself disappointed with the realities of independent life. She was second-guessing herself in everything and feeling terribly lonely among her group of geeky friends and their handsy boyfriends. And to tack on to that, she had this dark, ugly butterfly flitting about her stomach, causing her to feel very high-strung; an omen of some future turmoil, she was sure, though she could not put her finger on what that could be.
    And something about this night reminded her of the past. Another nerve-wracking day in history when a dangerous storm raged outside, when she was feeling similarly stressed and misunderstood just before finding her baby brother missing… No. She shoved the frequently-visited memory back with ease, having gotten so much practice with that already. It wasn’t real. That dream, that stupid play she had morphed into her own creation four years ago, was the last thing she needed to be thinking about right then.  That’s all it was, she had convinced herself, after all the pressure to grow up and be normal. A ridiculously intricate and vivid waking dream.  She always did have a wonderful imagination…
    She rose and joined the other woman in cleaning up while the children of her cousins weaved between all the adults and furniture in the room, never not being in the way. She rolled her eyes as she reached across the table. For the past few years, Sarah had been trying valiantly to “grow up” and detach herself from her childish ways which garnered her so much ridicule from her peers and guardians alike. Especially when she had started implying that she had seen things, achieved things, been places that no one else had. It had been a difficult task to let those fierce beliefs of hers go, but she had done it; at least, mostly. Being a mature, normal woman truly was a goal of hers, and that goal demanded that she quit believing in things like the supernatural.
    At the moment, though, she was almost jealous of her younger family members and their freedom to indulge in their imaginations- and their innocent nature. But she was nineteen now- basically an adult. And she was almost convinced that there was nothing she could possibly have in common with children or preteens. All the stories she used to read and write, all her comforting toys, all of her glorious costumes had either been given up or hidden away (except for the select few closest to her heart). Her room was now much emptier, decorated with tasteful furnishings and laden with school supplies. It made her feel like she was pretending even more than before. But if she wanted to be just like her other ordinary nineteen year old friends, she had to start acting like it, right?
    The thunder following the lightening bolt shook the house, causing the children to scatter and squeal louder, chasing one another even faster. Hands full of tableware, Sarah blew her dark bangs from her eyes, shaking her head so the rest of the long strands would fall neatly behind her. She couldn’t bring herself to cut her hair, even now. The other girls in her freshman class at University all had stylish, edgy cuts, but she just couldn’t part with her natural, historical look. She had gotten it a little layered since it was ungodly thick and she didn’t want to look like a total outcast, but the pleas of her friends to get it highlighted always fell on deaf ears.
    She pushed through the door into the kitchen, hoping no one would come out the other way, and found Toby sitting on the counter next to the sink, talking to their father.
    “I told you I‘d win!”
    “Yeah, yeah Toby, you won alright.“ Robert kindly responded, tousling his sons hair before picking up a stack of dishes to put away.
    “I don’t know if it’s healthy for a five year old to be that good at video games.” Sarah interjected with her usual superior tone, placing her own pile of dishes next to the sink and starting to scrub them down.
    “Sarah you should have seen it! I beat him in like 40 seconds, I just went Pow! Bam! Slam and then my special combos, and he was dead!” Toby’s eyes shone with excitement as he recounted the riveting experience. Nowadays, his expressions hardly ever failed in softening his big sister’s attitude. The corners of her mouth lifted a little bit as she “uhuh”-ed along to her kid brother’s story.
    “Yeah, right. Go get me another washcloth.” She lifted her chin to indicate the drawer she meant and tried not to smile as Toby slid off the counter and immediately began helping her. They loved one another indescribably, and she was no where near resisting his demonic sweetness the way she was when she was fifteen. They dried the silverware together, bantering like siblings should. Then the doorbell rang.  
    Sarah knew who it was immediately. The storm might have been raging outside, but inside the house it had just been the calm before; her mother’s entrance brought the tempest inside. Robert stopped what he was doing and tensely made his way to the front door to greet her. The house went silent for a moment, aside from Merlin‘s barking; then the rest of the family began awkwardly greeting the estranged ex-Mrs. Williams. The situation was especially weird, as more than half of the people in the house were on Irene’s side of the family. Jeremy, her new husband, was with her of course. A bemused expression graced his face as his slightly drunk wife hugged everyone.
    “See, Grandma Williams? I tooold you we’d make it tonight before it got too late. You doubted me but here we are. What’d we miss? Where’s Sarah?” The thunder boomed again. Sarah closed her eyes, now understanding her doom-and-gloom feeling from before. Toby looked up at her with concern.
    Linda had always been Sarah’s favorite person, her role-model in all aspects of life. She had always wanted nothing more than to move in with her and be an actress, just like her and Jeremy. But Irene had been right, no matter how many times Sarah had fiercely denied it. Linda had chosen her career over being there for her daughter. And Sarah had finally come to understand that.
    She wasn’t one of those bitter, divorced kids- well, she was a little, but perhaps her maturity had shone through most in this aspect of her life. She understood that her mother had made the best choice for herself. That she wasn’t meant to be a stay-at-home mom, that she had big dreams and a big… man to chase. A life outside her family. And as a result, Sarah had simply grown closer to her father. Irene would never be any sort of replacement, of course, but Linda wasn’t that reliable of a mother to begin with, so there was no tension there.
    Now that Sarah was older, Linda had the knack for showing up at the house randomly to take Sarah out shopping or to other girly activities, with the intention of sprucing her up. ‘Modernizing’ her, as she called it. This was uncomfortable enough for Sarah, but Linda’s uninvited presence was what usually set Irene off, and more often than not the two women got very catty with one another. Sarah had hoped this particular family function could go smoothly, without that volatile situation since she had already been feeling awful, but Linda and Jeremy had been invited. And here they were. Two hours late, loud, and a little under the influence. Maybe they would get tired soon and leave.
    “Is that Linda?“ Came Toby’s little voice. Sarah looked down at Toby and nodded, taking his hand and silently walking toward the door.  Pasting a strained smile on her face, she pushed through and took in the sight of her aunt pouring her mother a glass of wine.
    “Hi mom! I was starting to think you wouldn’t show.” Sarah began. Linda enthusiastically replied just like she had to her ex-mother-in-law, defending her past actions as usual. The crowd quietly went back to socializing. Mother and daughter sat down together, and Toby took a seat on Sarah’s lap. The two caught up for a few minutes before Irene saw fit to call Toby over to her, looking none to happy about the situation. The boy reluctantly did as he was told. Sarah pushed her long tresses behind her ears and continued talking, but Irene’s action had caught Linda’s attention immediately. It was only seconds before the opening comments began.
    “What’s wrong, Irene? I thought you were happy that the kids were finally bonding.” Came Linda’s argumentative tone.
    “Linda. I’m not starting with you tonight.”
    “YOU’RE not starting with ME? As though I’ve said anything deliberately rude? I was just saying, Toby looked perfectly happy with Sarah just now.”
    Irene scoffed. Another flash of lightening lit up the yard, followed by the noise.
    “Mommy?” Came Toby’s unsure voice. As a child, he was especially sensitive to the unease of everyone in the room as the women’s voices began to grow hostile. Robert and Jeremy were already making their way over to the women.
    “It’s alright sweetie,” Irene began with an exaggeratedly coddling tone. “Linda’s just in that awful mood she always gets in when she’s been drinking.”
    “Oh my Gooodddd…” Sarah rubbed her temples.
    “I know you did not just accuse me of being a drunk. Listen, Irene, are you TRYING to ruin Easter for our children?” Linda retorted.
    “Ladies…” Robert interjected. The room was silent again as all the cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents waited for the imminent, traditional explosion.
    “No, Robert, no. Everyone’s wondering the same thing. Let your wife answer for her bitchiness.” Linda pointed at Irene before bringing her wine glass to her lips. Irene just stared, mouth agape before suddenly moving toward the other woman as though she was about to strike her. Then, she remembered Toby next to her and took a step back, her expression all rage.
    “I am not dealing with this anymore. Linda, this is the last time you come to my house and disrespect me like that.” Irene said as calmly as she could manage.
    “Oh, so now its YOUR house?” Linda replied.
    Sarah slowly rose out of her chair, her cheeks turning red, her eyes filling with hot tears. Robert looked sympathetically at his daughter, searching for the right words to stop the fight before it got any worse. Unfortunately it was far too late.
    An explosion of sentences laced with profanities spilled from Linda’s lips, in harmony with the thunder from outside. Irene began yelling back and Toby covered his ears and began to cry. The husbands did their best to diffuse the situation, as did the rest of the family present. Some jumped into the conversation to defend either woman, others tried to follow Sarah up the stairs only to be politely asked to please NOT. And so another, even more public war broke out in the Williams household.
    It was the bane of Sarah’s existence. Why, oh why couldn’t they just act like a normal loving family for once? They had always wanted Sarah to assimilate instead of hide inside her fantasies, so why couldn’t they give her some kind of incentive? The farther away she got from the shouting the faster Sarah went, running up the stairs, breathing hard. It was all so embarrassing and awful. She felt like a kid, like a failure, with a dysfunctional, shameful family. This was supposed to be spring break, a time for fun and relaxing, a time to indulge in more grown up pleasures. Intellectual conversation, reading, cooking, concert-going, dancing. And this is what she had to deal with instead.
    She groaned as she heard Toby start to wail from downstairs, accompanied by a “See what you’ve done? Again?!” from Irene. It was Sarah’s habit now to calm him down and solve his problems, but she couldn’t bring herself to care about his confusion and discomfort at that moment.
    The thunder crashed outside again loudly and a new torrent of rain splashed against the windows of the upper floor. Lightening lit up the white-carpeted rooms with blue flashes, casting crazy shadows on the walls as Sarah made her way down the hall to her room. She expertly ignored the tricks her mind began to play on her using the dark forms dancing around the furniture.
    “This is insanity. Always the same thing, always this crap! And I’m stuck in the middle of it! …It‘s not fair!” She exclaimed, running a hand through her hair and trying not to cry. She hadn’t said those words or felt this way in so long, having been told just how immature it sounded by a multitude of influential people. But right now she didn’t care how she sounded or how she looked. She’d rather be anywhere besides that cruel and unusual battlefield.
    Another thunder clap shook the house and she gave another frustrated shout, hitting the wall with her fist as she passed Toby’s door. Her warpath was abruptly halted when she saw that the balcony doors in her brother’s room were wide open, the curtains flying about and the rain freely pouring onto the furniture. Her first instinct was irritation and she quickly wiped her eyes and marched in, reaching out for the doors and shutting them angrily, thoughtlessly. Then, she paused, being hit with a sort of dejavu. She glanced at her hand clutching the window lock, then past the glass at the torrential rain outside. Why was this so familiar?
    Oh. That’s right. The open balcony doors, the violent storm… This was where it had begun, where, four years ago, the frightening but beautiful Goblin King came to pay her a visit, where he stole her brother and issued her an impossible challenge. It was just past these doors that she set out on her big adventure in the Labyrinth.

Sarah let go of the lock slowly and sighed, shaking her head, her expression venomous. Quit thinking of that crap  and don’t be ridiculous, she thought. I dreamed that entire thing. None of them- none of it was real. Just a damn play. It always was.
    She turned from the window, only to be hit with another wall of angry sound coming from downstairs. She sighed exasperatedly again, her face cinching with frustration; at her family, at her own naivety, at Toby’s crying. Another roll of thunder had Sarah clutching her head, breathing deeply again, trying her very mature method of getting a grip.
     Then, the balcony doors burst open once more, and she was hit with cold rain and harsh wind. She screamed in time with the women downstairs. This was real life. This frustration, imperfection, discomfort, unhappiness. This was what grownups knew. There was no such thing as magic, or happy endings, or mysterious kings who fell in love with special girls and granted them wonderful powers. She smiled bitterly and opened her mouth with the intention of cementing these thoughts in her brain once and for all. She spoke calmly, surely.

“I wish I was anywhere but here.”

With that, Sarah Williams disappeared into thin air.