marvel: house of ideas

Assorted other ways to fix Agents of SHIELD, in no order
  • Steal Amy Acker from Person of Interest and have her just hang around playing the cello all the time in the background of shots.  Maybe around sweeps have May finally pick it up with one hand and smash it into the wall with a “sorry” a la Animal House.
  • Speaking of: toga episode.
  • Please do not have Fitz zipping around in a wheelchair unable to say anything but his own name.  And please do not have his wheelchair’s batteries run dry while forced to watch Simmons and Triplett make out on the holo-table.
  • May shows an emotion other than barely-constrained rage
  • Coulson begins to become more like Samuel L. Jackson.  No, not Fury, Sam Jackson.  Quoting Ezekiel.  Wearing eyepatch for no reason.  Carrying a purple lightsaber.  Has had it with these motherfuckin’ hydras on his motherfuckin’ plane.
  • In addition to new agent (sigh) Lance Hunter, more suitably-named agents are added, including Dirk Swordkill, Duke Slaughter, Gun Killslots, Big McLargehuge.
  • Get the other Whedon to do a bit more dialogue this time plz
  • Establish if SHIELD is an international body (answerable to the World Security Council) or American agency (answerable to Congress) or just both and neither and possibly Guatemalan for tax purposes
  • “In this episode, Ming-Na Wen has been replaced by Alan Tudyk”
  • All footage of Raina and Ian Quinn digitally replaced by angry chickens
  • Simmons inexplicably begins speaking in Jamaican Patois and nobody ever gets the nerve to ask why
  • Due to budget cutbacks, the Bus is replaced by…an actual bus:

  • In keeping with procedure of all uncontrollable 0-8-4s, Skye is shot into the sun
  • Entire episode shot in the style of Ingmar Bergman
  • Inexplicable crossover with Sons of Anarchy
  • Someone swaps the ICERs with actual live ammunition and nobody realizes it until like the end of the episode
  • Whole episode is an argument on how to spell “shield”
  • Tony Stark buys SHIELD and privatizes it, giving each agent their own suit of armor: Fitz’s promptly bluescreens and sends him to the bottom of the Atlantic (again)
  • Accidental incursion by genderbent universe
  • Entire episode is in iambic pentameter
  • To save SHIELD, the team must put on a show in Aunt Bess’s barn. Fury throws wadded-up programs and heckles Simmons into crying on-stage.
  • Team spends episode watching an old episode of Firefly
  • Uh, vampires?  Have we done that?  Fuck it, vampires.

loftkits  asked:

I'm in the group of readers like you who is pretty much up for anything, and willing to give storytellers the benefit of the doubt until I actually read the story. But I have to be honest, looking at the Marvel event calendar, it's hard not to be a little uncomfortable. I think most of us have internalized that the events will be precursors to movies at this point, but almost every single major event looks to be at the very least a spiritual rehash of a previous one. Doesn't this kind of suck?

I understand the concern with something like Secret Wars, and all of the promos we have been seeing, in the broad sense. The key for me here is Jonathan Hickman, and what looks like the resolution to something I believe Marvel has been building up to since the end of Age of Ultron, or even All New X-Men.

If it plays out anything like I think (more so hope) it will, paying homage to what came before should certainly be part of what we read. I don’t think those rehashes are events themselves, but story points within Secret Wars. I have talked about the perfect storm I think Marvel is creating.I really want to be right, and that this is it.

Other than that, I don’t get too worked up about event comics, anymore. I am no longer Marvel’s target market in that regard. People still seem to buy them, and as long as Marvel makes a lot of money doing so, they are going to keep churning them out. I only bought the first two issues of Original Sin, but I did get the Avengers tie-ins, because I was interested in finding out what happened with Tony and Steve. I read Battle of the Atom, but was already reading those books anyways. I don’t think I will ever read Fear Itself. I read Siege, but none of the tie-ins.

I tend not to worry about product I am not interested, and focus on things I do want. Right now, this is something I am intrigued with, and want to know more about.

What I feel is wrong with the X-men NOW!

The X-men have no heart anymore.

When Claremont wrote the books you knew he loved the characters, the stories, and the world he helped create. As a reader you could read it in the way he wrote about each member, or how others would talk about them. They were like his adopted children and the following characters he would create to join them became just as familial. The family feeling of his books from the X-men, the New Mutants and Excalibur, were what made so many fans connect and relate to these fictional characters. If only Marvel didn’t wreck it all by selling Claremont out for Jim Lee and the other upstart artists that took the company.

Ever since the 90’s that saw the end of the Claremontian era, i feel the stories shifted their focus from being about social commentary and sophisticated story telling to sensationalized superficial excess. It became about quantity over quality, style over substance, expectation over exception. This was also the time when the X-men Animated Series was on tv and became such a decade long hit, that maybe Marvel sought to capitalize on that success and match the cartoonish style into their ever growing array of X-books. 

This seemed to have continued until the early 2000s  when the X-men movie first came out and further changed the vision and direction of the X-books. Grant Morrison who took a lot of inspiration from the film came on board to vastly shake up the stagnant status quo of the X-world and shape the next decade. Many agree he cause more harm than helped, but their did seem to be a more focused effort on selling the events Marvel fabricated to bring in new readers and certain characters got more push at the expense of many others. I feel we are still in the era of corporate story telling of throwing books at us to see what sells, instead of trying to express any meaningful message through their art. They only seem to value the external, the material, and the comfortable rather than starting from within and working your way out to reach those new audiences with complex stories again.

Claremont had a world view that was very radical and refreshing at the time but most of the writers that followed have failed to empathize with the characters or the fans that love these outcast and misfit superheroes. How can the audience relate to these current books when nothing of value, depth or insight is being explored anymore. There might be occasional highlightd here and there, but there is no constancy with writers leaving so often and so soon, for whatever reason. Maybe if they were more committed to the X-book, and didn’t have side gigs or personal projects we could see someone who can invest all their good ideas and fan love into these heartbroken books.

Another important thing about the X-men that the current books seem to lack is an understanding and insight into the themes of social exclusion and discrimination for being a different kind of human being. We need new writers that can relate to those thoughts and feeling because they live it in their own lives. No more entitled white boys writing these books about a oppressed fictional minority that for most of the lead player look like Hollywood movie stars. It’s the most aggravating problem I have with the X-books, that so few (if any) women, people of colour, queer/trans or even disabled people have had the chance to write about these characters. If Marvel truly cared about diversity and inclusion they would support more minorities in their company than just in their comic books. I mean i love Adjectiveless X-men and Mighty Avengers, and female solo books, but the majority of the creators behind them all are white and/or male, so where is the real progress?

Who ever is in charge of the X-books at Marvel really have to decide how they can save this sinking flagship and that might mean valuing the message over valuing the books themselves. Claremont made the X-men a successful brand in the first place, so they just have to understand why his stories resonated so strongly with people. And try to find that magic again.