martin freeman makes the best faces

Caption: Hey my bruh to whom I do not have any sexual attraction lemme just look at your lips with utmost concentration while you talk dangerously close to me but mofftiss said no homo

Caption : Hey my flatmate whom I just met Lemme look at you like you are the best piece of candy I have ever seen and lemme make a face like I wanna give you a blowjob right here but mofftiss said no homo

What’s Your Number (USA, 2011)

Predictions: Nothing to predict! We predict our delight at this Chris Evans romp that takes place in Boston!

Plot: One day, Anna Faris, a typical mess of a human being, reads in some magazine for ladies that ladies have an average of 10.5 sexual partners in their lifetimes. If a lady has more than 20, she will die alone. THAT’S RIGHT, LADIES!!!! As soon as that 20th penis crosses the finish line into your vagina, you will perish/no one will marry you/all your eggs will dry up, etc.

At the time that Anna Faris reads this extremely scientific finding, she has only slept with 19 people, phew; so the next guy will surely be Mr. Right! But then, when he isn’t, she embarks on a desperate quest to track down all her exes, figuring that the only available solution is to marry one of them. A completely reasonable course of action, of course. How would Anna Faris or any other ladies get through the day without the solid advice of lady magazines??

Unfortunately, Anna Faris is not as good a Google-stalker as us some other people, nobody we know, might be. So she enlists the help of her hot naked neighbor Chris Evans, a stereotypically commitment-phobic musician, whom she pays for his assistance in food and the service of helping him get rid of one-night stands. Chris Evans helps her track down a motley array of ex-boyfriends, including psycho puppeteer Andy Samberg, formerly-fat Chris Pratt, and Martin Freeman, with whom Anna Faris APPARENTLY PRETENDED TO BE BRITISH, AND IT’S SO FUNNY, YOU GUYS, SO FUNNY.

Eventually, of course, as we all knew would happen, Chris Evans and Anna Faris catch feelings. They are spending all their time together, living in each other’s homes, having a grand old time, so, you know, it’s not like anyone saw that coming. But Anna Faris, obsessed with lady magazines as she is, doesn’t think Chris Evans is marriage material, so she COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE WITH HIM, even though his everything is amazing and they, like, are clearly in love. Instead, she throws him over for the annoyingly successful ex who’s been her #1 obsession since the search began (and whose phone number Chris Evans pretended not to have; shame on you, Chris Evans, but then again, you did catch feelings…TSK).

Long story short, Anna Faris eventually sees the error of her ways, ditches Annoyingly Successful Ex at her sister’s wedding, and rushes to find Chris Evans at a different wedding, where his band is playing. She crashes the joint, they confess their love, and later they bang. Further good news for Anna Faris: apparently she didn’t actually sleep with Aziz Ansari, so she IS within the 20-or-fewer-penises limit! Lucky her, she will not be burned at the stake. 

In conclusion, lady magazines know where it’s at, and nary a lady could ever find love without adhering to their instructions.

Best Scene: OBVIOUSLY THE SCENE where they play strip Horse in the Garden. Fucking amazing. Nothing has ever been so perfect. Runner-up: Chris Evans’s face when he realizes that Anna Faris spent her entire relationship with Martin Freeman speaking in a fake British accent. 

Worst Scene: Joel McHale, why so gross???? Don’t shake his hand, Chris Evans!!!!

Best Line: “I broke it. If you were on Twitter, you would know that already.” – Chris Evans, when Anna Faris asks where his coffeepot is, because apparently she’s some kind of social-media-less alien, and he’s in the midst of making her a Facebook???? In 2011?!?!

Worst Line: If, by “worst line,” you mean “totally bizarre attitude towards sex in the modern age,” how about that conversation where Annoyingly Successful Ex weirdly seems to think that, because they lost their virginities to each other, Anna Faris literally won’t have slept with anyone else in the intervening 10-15 years???? Run, Anna Faris. He is a weird dude. Could be a Duggar in disguise. STEALTH DUGGARS!!!!!!!! (…Do we make too many Duggar jokes?)

Highlights of the Watching Experience: EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! First of all, let us issue a disclaimer that when anything takes place in Boston, we’re wildly biased. Second of all, Chris Evans is a gem from heaven, and by that we mean, Sudbury. Third of all, this is a very funny and delightful movie, guest-starring every comedian you’ve ever known, and the relationship between Chris Evans and Anna Faris is incredibly charming, and their love confession doesn’t seem super weird, because we’ve actually seen them getting to know each other pretty well, and EVERYTHING IS AMAZING…except for the premise, which is like a terrible Victorian throwback. Kthxbye.

How Many POC in the Film: A fair number of black people, though not in major roles – Anna Faris’s sister’s friend, Chris Pratt’s new fiancée, Anna Faris’s gay politician ex, that singer at the wedding… No Asians, though. (Really? No Asians in Cambridge?? No Asians in scrubs in line for a sandwich at the deli????) Clearly this entire film somehow takes place in the one block of Boston that doesn’t feature a hospital or major university. #perpetuating stereotypes of ourselves sorryyyy #home sweet home

Alternate Scenes: Well… Assuming we’ve gone ahead and accepted this premise, this movie could pretty much stay exactly as it is, minus that last twist where we find out that she’s only at 20 after all. We would love for Chris Evans to be #21 and for Anna Faris to not care if he were #4785947389654. (Except, you know, if he were #4785947389654, practically one would wonder how she ever got anything else done in her life besides having sex. Shocking that she was holding down a job, really, before Joel McHale fired her.)

Also, maybe a scene that explained how Anna Faris was supporting herself through what seems to be possibly months of unemployment.

Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: …Worse? Minus the tagline, the poster is the story of local businesswoman Anna Faris trying to pick up Chris Evans, a townie bartender. “What’s your number?” she slurs, sloshing her vodka cranberry. “It’s time for you to go,” he says, patiently. “Let me give you my number!” she insists, and scrawls down an illegible collection of digits. (Spoiler alert: he never calls her, because he cannot read her napkin. The end.) 

Score: 8.5 out of 10 lady-magazine-unsanctioned smooches. Tsk.

Ranking: 7, out of the 85 movies we’ve seen so far.

So I’ve been taking a technology class at school and currently we’re learning to use photoshop effectively.

It all started with this:

when I learned you could move bits of the face around to other places.

So naturally, I thought, hey! lets try it out on some celebrities, this ought to be a good laugh.

BAM BITCHES. many laughs. but what about on a guy?

Okay, I admit. Not as good as my last one. Maybe Jared’ll work better.

Awww baby fetus jared alien padalecki.

They grow up so fast *wipes tear*

This went on for quite a while

yes, quite a while. 

Until I thought - ‘hey, maybe I should take movie screenshots and do those!’ It seemed like an awesome idea. the thing about screencaps is that you get more of a natural face because the person isn’t posing, so I thought I would give it a shot. I decided to start with Harry Potter.

I don’t know what this looks like but it makes me laugh, so naturally, I continued.

*snorts*

(^U^)

Not my best work here but.. yeah

And then, going through the characters in the movie, I came to…

oh.

3

The point I’m trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend. And certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.

Amanda Abbington interview from today’s Times

The stage can be nerve-racking at the best of times. So how does Amanda Abbington feel about returning to it after a ten-year gap during which she’s found fame on television? About taking time out from Sherlock, in which she plays the delightful but dangerous wife of Dr Watson, a man played by Martin Freeman, who also happens to be her real-life partner? About making her comeback in a new play at the Royal Court where, as she says, the audience is so close you can observe their reactions? “Terrified, terrified, truly terrified,” she says, “but I wanted to exercise that muscle again and face that fear. And there’s something magical about telling a story live.”

The terrifying play is Molly Davies’s God Bless the Child, in which Abbington will perform alongside teams of eight to eleven-year-olds, all of whom (she says with a laugh) seem totally nerveless. Moreover, the faces out there aren’t likely to beam happily at the character she’s playing: the treacly, pushy, sadly modern inventor of an educational system that infantilises the children she purports to adore, suppresses their individuality and seeks to manipulate them into docile citizens, “but that’s great for me because I’ve tended to play people with good hearts and she’s passive-aggressive, ambitious and doesn’t care about kids at all.”

Indeed, the play raises questions that Abbington, the mother of eight-year-old Joe and six-year-old Grace, thinks particularly pertinent today. What’s the right way to bring up children? Not, she thinks, by ingratiating oneself with them: “I love my own children more than anything but I want to be their parent, not their friend. If they don’t like me that means I’m doing something right, because if they constantly liked me that would mean I’d be saying yes all the time.

“Nowadays it’s give them this, give them that, without thinking of the consequences. Constant giving without getting anything in return is a recipe for disaster. We have to shape our children into human beings and they must learn that it’s not easy out there. People aren’t always very nice and don’t give you everything on a plate.”

Abbington, 40, speaks from personal experience. She clearly respects her mother and her father, who in her childhood was a cabby based in north London, for expecting her to do chores if she wanted the money to buy a toy. Meanwhile, primary school taught her that people were often a lot less nice than her parents. Children stole her packed lunches, binned her PE clothes and persistently called her ugly, stupid, skinny and too smelly to live. “I was very badly bullied. One time these girls came up to me and said, ‘If you give us your Penguin biscuit you can play with us’, and I said ‘OK’, and they took it and skipped away saying: ‘We don’t like you.’ I was seven. It’s always stayed with me.”

In a perverse way persecution shaped the actress-to-be. She adopted masks or personae, doing silly voices in vain attempts to make the bullies laugh and to protect herself. Indeed, she still thinks that people often become performers because they need to be liked, appreciated, made to feel they belong — but a stage career? That seemed unlikely since her family weren’t theatregoers. However, some sort of die was cast when her mother told the young Amanda that there was money for her to do either ballet or horse riding after school, but not both. “I was just five,” she laughs. “I think my life would have been very different if I’d chosen horses.”

As it was, a childless neighbour took her to see ballet at the Royal Opera House and, aged 16, Abbington was at Laine Theatre Arts in Epsom, Surrey, preparing to become a professional dancer but also realising she’d never be an excellent one. A sympathetic teacher there suggested she turn to drama and, after a stint at a theatre school in Hitchin, work came her way. “Bits and pieces,” she says self-deprecatingly of a television career that took her from The Bill to Man Stroke Woman and the comedy After You’ve Gone, then to big breakthrough roles as the lovelorn head of accessories in Mr Selfridge and the charming yet dangerous woman who marries Freeman’s Watson.

Abbington remembers first seeing Freeman in 2000 in a BBC Two sketch show called Bruiser and thinking: “Oh God, he’s lovely, I hope I get to work with him one day.” Two months later they met on the make-up bus for the TV film Men Only, got chatting, went out for a drink the next day and two months later moved in together. Her professional regard for him is considerable too. She saw his recent Richard III in the West End six times and was struck by the subtle differences he brought to the role each time. “And he’s generous, focused, prepared; not in any way a prima donna. I love working with him.”

That came about after Mark Gatiss, co-author of Sherlock, invited her and Freeman to watch The Hound of the Baskervilles, asked her to sit in on a discussion in the kitchen about the third series, then offered her a role she expected to go to a supposedly superior actress, so astonishing her that she burst into tears. Some Sherlock fanatics, updated versions of those school bullies, didn’t want a woman getting between Holmes and Watson and trolled her — “f*** off and die” — on Twitter, but most have been silenced by the result. Freeman and Abbington have a rapport they have transported from their Hertfordshire home to the screen: “We can try new ideas, bounce off each other, change a scene’s dynamic and know it’ll be fine.”

The third series, which was aired this year, gave Abbington a 2013 that was both mirabilis and horribilis. Horrible because a serious cancer scare when Freeman was filming The Hobbit in New Zealand was followed by her own brief bankruptcy, since she’d spent money put aside for HM Revenue and Customs. Yet shooting Sherlock also allowed them to sit on the sofa, practise their scenes, go to London together then return to discuss the day. And 2015 will bring a fourth series, more togetherness — and Abbington her own screen time in new episodes of Mr Selfridge.

She’s as unpretentious and modest as she’s open and candid, and, she says, all too aware that she has not faced a live audience since 2004, when she played a jargon-spouting therapist in Nick Stafford’s none-too-successful Love Me Tonight at Hampstead Theatre. So the prospect of acting at the Royal Court leaves her with mixed feelings. She’s long loved the theatre for the fearlessness of its new-play policy and wanted to work there. Yet she left her audition for God Bless the Child saying, “I was awful, I won’t get the part”, and when she was offered it her surprised delight didn’t last: “Reality set in and I said: ‘Ooh, now I have to do it.’ ”

Our own Andrew Billen has called her Mary Watson “terrific”, adding that she brings emotion and humanity, plus intelligence and wit to a cerebral series. So it’s fair to assume that her performance of a comically yet horribly smarmy education tsarina won’t exactly harm a career that, self-effacing and self-doubting as she is, Abbington still fears will have its dips. Yes, she’d love to tackle major parts, for instance Lady Macbeth, “but what I most want is not to be not working. I just want people to say: ‘Oh, Amanda. Let’s get her. She’s good.’ ”

anonymous asked:

And the award goes to ... An Actor AU!

Interesting….

- Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are two rising star actors always known for being side by side in whatever they do
- Like, Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman
- Except the fandom is right about the fact they are gay for each other
- Yuuri and Viktor haven’t come out to the public so they don’t potentially lose any potential roles
- Since they make such a good dynamic duo, they got cast as best friends in a big new tv drama
- Viktor plays the main character, a man who sleeps around with women, trying to find the true meaning of love
- And Yuuri is the token Asian friend™
- Even though he knows it’s part of the job, Yuuri is unhappy about seeing his lover with other women
- Viktor puts on the same face during sex scenes as he does with Yuuri and it tugs the heart strings
- After particularly romantic scenes, Yuuri will cling to Viktor when they get home cause he’s jelly
- Viktor apologizes and kisses Yuuri until he makes it clear he’s his
- Viktor has difficulty portraying a character who doesn’t know love since he is overflowing with affection for Yuuri
- Even despite the knowledge, Viktor’s affairs where all acting, it’s probably one of the most painful productions Yuuri ever had to do.

Feel free to send me prompts to my inbox ^^

youtube

Sherlock faces his biggest challenge of all – delivering a Best Man’s speech. But will one of Watson’s wedding guests not make it to the reception?

Watch a scene above, and tune in tonight (1/26) to MASTERPIECE on PBS at 9:58/8:58c to find out.