I fight how I think

Coach told me today that I take things too fast and need to slow it down to perfect the smaller techniques. I need to focus on that instead of putting so much intensity into the end result. I’m tense and not relaxed. He told me if I keep going hard like I am I’m going to gas out quick in my fights.

And of course he’s right. But I see a reflection of myself in this issue with my fighting. I’m a very guarded person and I’m 100% all or nothing. I don’t let people get close and I like to maintain control of my environment. Vulnerablity is not high on my list of skills.

I think this makes it harder to relax when I’m rolling or sparring. I’m tense because I dont trust myself and I have a hard time tearing down the barriers in my mind that keep me from losening up.

If I had my way I’d just hold on tight while rolling and never give an inch but that doesn’t get me into any good submissions and relies on my strength which I have plenty of but also tires me more quickly.

If I had my way I’d just plant my feet, dig in, and pummel instead of relaxing, loosening and using my footwork to play it smart and wait for openings.

I have to change the way I think. “Relax” has become my new montra. Time to back things up, go slow and soft, and then work my strength back in.

Coach always talks about how there’s two types of students: the mad scientist and the muscles. The guy who over uses his strength may start out better and tap the scientist for a while, but once the scientist learns to master his technique the muscle will be easily conquered.

Time to whip out my bunsen burners and adjust my performance. Game on.

Partnering up

I hate partnering up at my MMA gym. It’s always awkward. A variety of factors go into it.

The logic works like this…

Some guys are gearing up for a fight so they automatically partner with the advanced guys who can give them the best workout. So you’re left with the intermediates and beginners. Beginners are usually best avoided bc if you want to learn its best to go with someone who can call you on your mistakes. Then, most guys will avoid going with the chicks in class.

So usually I will have to find someone. No one ever asks me to partner other than new females…

And last time that happened they ended up getting switched to a different partner anyways because coach split us. Perhaps bc my push kicks sent her flying back too hard? Idk…

So today in class I literally said aloud, “anyone need a partner?” And dudes just look around for someone else like they can see right through me. I just want to wave my hand in front of their face and say “I know you’re avoiding eye contact.”

I ended up partnerless like the last kid picked for kickball on the playground… But then an intermediate dude told me I could make a group of three with him and a new guy. He gave me good tips and we had good rythmn working on rolling and slipping. So crisis averted.

But still.

So awkward. Just had to let that out. :)