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;0 this took longer than expected dfdd

Some of the best things I’ve heard in Heathers rehearsal so far:

  • “Oh no! My shirt, where’d it go?” followed by really slow and awkward finger guns
  • “Free pizza, and we don’t even have to buy it a pussy!”
  • “Those stupid tree thumpers”
  • *dramatically pirouettes and leaps in* “BIG SWORDFIGHT IN HER MOUTHHH”
  • “Aww that seems like a relationship that would last.” “Yeah until one of them blows up” “I guess you could say their love is….. explosive”
  • *Our choreographer screaming like one of those sheep used in parodies back in vintage youtube days whenever she gets frustrated or needs to get people’s attention.*
  • “So you’re going to do a Jesus lift” “A WHAT” “Just put your arms out and they’ll lift you like you’re Jesus resurrecting from the cross”
  • “Welcome to Newsies on steroids.”
  • “Be the closeted gay we all need.”
  • “The first step to any good plan is murder.”
  • “How much bitch is enough bitch though?”
  • “Imagine having to explain to someone like ““oh how’d you break your tailbone?” ““Oh I booty-popped too hard.”” 
  • “When we go off to makeover Veronica, can she still have the monocle, but, hear me out, it’s now bedazzled.”
  • “I have to check the historical accuracy of bedazzling in the ‘80s.”
  • “Okay, but what if we made it gay?”
  • “COSTUME NOTE: SOMEONE MAKE RAM PARTY SLIPPERS!” “What if they’re like bunny slippers, but with tiny party hats?!”
  • “This is Ram, he’s not very nice, but somehow my best friend still wants to fuck him.”
  • “Your whole bio better be about how much you love and respect women or else I can’t help you when your ass is being kicked.”
  • “I paired you guys together because you say he’s your sort of boyfriend later.” *Kurt proceeds to emark in various sexual dance endeavors with multiple other women* “That’s where the sort of comes into play….”
  • “SHUT UP HEATHER” *bursts out crying*
  • Our original Chandler dropped out so our original Duke got promoted to her role and just looks at me and says “Oh my god this is the most Heather Duke thing that has ever happened to me”
  • “That’s a school cheer?!?!”
  • “Real question: WHO HAS A FUCKING LOCK ON THEIR CLOSET?”
  • “What if when she makes you spit up the pills, your wig flies off?” “Oh no you’ve discovered the real reason behind my crisis, I AM NOT A NATURAL BLONDE”
  • “Maybe he should take up knitting or something as a hobby rather than therapedic murder.”
  • “The saddest thing is that’s not even 3rd base”
  • “Veronica, you’re soaking wet!” *cue our assistant stage manager loosing her shit*
  • “My character description is just internal screaming.”
  • “Who needs a dance partner when you have weed?”
  • “I feel bad having to ask but was that supposed to be a dick joke?”
  • “Do I get extra points if one of the pills hits someone in the face?”
  • “I can’t remember the lyrics but I’m pretty sure I’m still gay”
  • “Why didn’t they just throw the bomb and run or something, like why are they so determined to die?” 
  • *recites Blue Reprise as demonic slam poetry because we didn’t have rehearsal tracks yet*  
  • “Veronica, it’s not a phase. I’m just naturally a slightly psychotic bag of angst with great hair.”
  • *music director teaching us Blue* ”They’ll curl up on your face. And purr like-” *slowly looks up from music and proceeds to put his head in his hands* “There’s moments that I evaluate my life and this is definitely one of them.”

And we’re still about 3 weeks from tech week

youtube

GOD i really jumped the gun on this one

Proposed new names for Heathers Characters

Heather Chandler: Hoot Choot

Heather Duke: Hoot Doot

Heather Macnamara: Hoot Moot

Veronica Sawyer: Voot Soot

Jason Dead: Joot Doot

Kurt Kelly: Koot Koot

Ram Sweeny: Root Swoot

Martha Dunnstock: Moot Doot

  • Miss Fleming: You guys are reading hamlet, right? What’s one of the recurring themes in Hamlet?
  • Betty Finn: Oh, Oooh, Ooooooh, call on me! Betrayal
  • Miss Fleming: very good, very good. Ok, now who can give me a good example of betrayal?
  • Martha: Oh! Um, when Hamlet sends Rosencrantz and Guildstern on a boat to die.
  • Miss Fleming: Exactly- Hamlet betrays his friends
  • Heather C.: Which is super fucked up because only a fucking dickhole betrays his friends
  • JD: Well, maybe he wouldn’t if his friends weren’t a bunch of selfish bitches who had already betrayed his girlfriend in the first place.
  • Miss Fleming: that’s mostly right! Rosencrantz and Guildstern were going to betray hamlet first.
  • Heather D.: well maybe if hamlet’s girlfriend had known her place instead of being a whiny little bitch, everything wouldn’t be so fucked up!
  • JD: well maybe if Rosencrantz and Guildstern didn’t tried to set up two dickholes to make love with the girl that he was in love with like two skanky little cock wranglers, they wouldn’t have got put on that fucking boat!
  • Heather D.: That doesn’t mean that hamlet should go attempt to blow up an entire fucking school and almost ruin fucking everything!
  • Martha: and maybe if people would have chilled the fuck out, Ophelia wouldn’t felt like she had to jump off of a goddamn bridge!
  • Miss Fleming: Ok, i think we moved a bit off topic, but I loved the energy, guys! love the energy.
  • Heather M.: What page does the school bombing attempt happen on?
  • Veronica: Relax, Heather. Apparently today is not going to be a learning day.
Cute things boys do

- kiss you and tell you they worship you
- sneak through your window and fucks you
- kills your best friend and enemy
- shoots the boys who bully you
- scares the shit out of you to make you fake your own death to get away from him
- attempts in bombing the school so you can cuddle by the fire
- and lastly blows up themselves leaving you there having to explain and clean up the mess

So cute…