marrying out

Shiro wanted something big and Keith did not disappoint. Keith gave him the biggest sunflower he could find and Shiro died laughing. How can he possibly love this guy even more? So pure, too good for this world. ಥ_ಥ Redbubble  

I need more Baze and Chirrut origin stories asap please and thank you

Soft

It starts with a bar of soap.

For God’s sake, Kent thinks to himself in the “personal care” section of the grocery store. Why does Dove think I’m allergic to purple just because I’m a guy?

He picks up the lavender-scented bar soap and inhales. It smells heavenly. Next he tries the sandalwood-scented from the men’s section. It comes in a gray box and costs fifty cents less. It smells good but it reminds him of floor polish.

I’m a grown-ass man, Kent thinks, and buys the lavender soap.

The next time he’s out of body wash, he spends thirty minutes trying to decide on one of the many “manly” smells before caving to “Cocoa Cabana” in the women’s aisle because it smells like Valentines Day in a bottle. 

After that it’s his deodorant body spray, trading in “Bold” (whatever the fuck boldness smells like) for “Fresh Cotton.” 

The first time Jeff catches a whiff of it on him, he asks, “New fabric softener? It smells awesome.”

“Nah, switched deodorants.”

“Huh.” Jeff nods in approval. “Well, you smell like fresh blankets out of the dryer. I have a physical urge to hug you.”

Kent laughs. Jeff hugs him and he laughs more. It’s nice.

After five months, nearly every toiletry Kent owns has been switched over from an endless variety of blacks, grays, and occasional dark greens and blues to white, purple, soft brown, yellow, and pink. Showers have transformed from a perfunctory necessity to something luxurious. Women’s products are so indulgent. They make Kent feel and smell like he’s been at a spa. He does have to learn to juggle the fragrances appropriately or risk smelling like a perfume store vomited on him. But it’s worth it, for how good he feels after. He feels pampered. His skin is softer, his hair shines, and even his pits and crotch look and feel cleaner. He doesn’t know if it’s the products or because he really cares about the maintenance, now, since he’s got all these specialty items to try. It doesn’t matter. He feels great.

Kent now has honest-to-God bubble baths and detox-salt-soaks. He’s got body butters and face masks and a lip balm in almost every flavor. The ladies at the Lush at the mall know him by name.

Kent’s still single. He’s got his cat for company, though, and the guys, who drop by or come over for movie and game nights and get drunk and eat all his food and pretend to chirp him for the specialty lemongrass-scented hand soap in his bathroom. Sometimes, on roadies, Swoops will plop down next to him on a bus or a plane and say loudly, “Damn, who’s got chocolate and isn’t sharing? Oh, it’s just Parser. Fuck you for getting my hopes up,” and then he’ll noogie Kent or grab his fingers and gnaw on them.

(The coaches have had to break them up before and it’s very unbecoming of two adult men.)

More than once, one of the guys has fallen asleep next to Kent and ended up face-first in Kent’s shoulder. They’ll wake up blearily, rubbing their eyes and saying, “Whoops, sorry man, didn’t mean to drool on you.” Kent was confused at first but he’s realizing that it’s because they gravitate towards the scent of him in their sleep. He smells like comforting things: honey and chocolate and cotton and Shea. He smells like warmth and safety. It’s why he likes all the things he buys, so it makes sense the guys would like that, too.

Nobody rags on him for it. They chirp him, but that’s different. Chirping, light-hearted and giggly, means acceptance. Soon his teammates start coming up to him in the locker room or nudging him on a bus and saying, “Parser, can I borrow some of your stuff?” and leaving with key-lime lips or cocoa-butter hands.

But it’s when he catches Sunny—big, burly, greatly-bearded d-man Sunny—pulling a bright orange tube of passion fruit lip balm out of his bag and slicking it on in front of everyone that he knows for sure that it’s okay.

GODDAMNIT THAT WAS PERFECT AND I AM SO MANY EMOTIONS AT THE SAME TIME IDK WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT BUT LIKE 

FIRST OF ALL, CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW KILLIAN JONES JUST LOOKS MILDLY IRRITATED AT POTENTIALLY BEING BURNED AT THE STAKE?

AND EMMA SWAN BURSTS IN, IN TRUE EMMA SWAN FASHION. WITH ONE THIRD OF A PLAN AND A TON OF FUCKING LET’S DOOOOO THIS!

AND KILLIAN IS LIKE OMG IS THIS A FUCKING DREAM EMMA EMMA EMMA EMMA

HE FOLLOWS HER THROUGH A PORTAL JUST LIKE HE DID WHEN THEY FIRST GOT TOGETHER. ALWAYS FOLLOWING HER HOME.

THIS WAS AMAZING BECAUSE HE’S LITERALLY RIGHT ON TOP OF HER AND HE MUST BE HEAVY BUT EMMA’S JUST LIKE YESSSSSS MY PIRTAE IS BACK IN MY ARMS

AND THEY JUST HAVE EYES FOR EACH OTHER. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? REGINA AND HENRY HELP THEM UP BUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES

CAN ONLY LOOK AND TALK TO EACH OTHER AND CANNOT STOP FUCKING TOUCHING. THIS WHOLE SCENE, THEY’RE CONSTANTLY TOUCHING AND IT HURTS ME. LOOK AT THIS TENDERNESS LIKE THE FUCKKK

AND HER GIVING HIM HIS HOOK BACK BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HOW THAT MUST BE BOTHERING HIM AND YOU CAN TOTALLY TELL HOW INTIMATE OF A MOMENT THIS IS BECAUSE REGINA IS LOOKING AWAY THE WHOLE TIME BECAUSE THIS IS SO COUPLE-Y AND INTIMATE AND THE FUCKING FUCK

AND STILL THEY ONLY LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER AND EMMA’S PUTTING HIS HOOK ON FOR HIM AND I JUST DIE BECAUSE HOW MANY TIMES HAS SHE DONE THIS ALREADY? EARLY IN THE MORNING, PUTTING IT ON FOR HIM BEFORE KISSING HIM GOODBYE OR TAKING IT OFF AT NIGHT WHEN THEY GET HOME AND HIS ARM IS DRAPED AROUND HER ON THE SOFA AND SHE JUST PULLS IT OFF AND I AM JUST IMAGINING A MILLION MOMENTS AND IT IS KILLING MEEE

THE APOLOGIES WERE FUCKING PERFECTION. 

AND THE FACT THAT THEY BOTH APOLOGISED FOR THEIR MISTAKES AND THEIR OWN FEARS IN THE FIGHT THEY HAD AND THE BOTH OF THEM UNDERSTANDING ONE ANOTHER’S FEARS TOO LIKE HOW PERFECT

AND THEN THIS. FUCKING THIS. I KNEW IT WAS COMING. I WAS NOT READY AT ALL. LIKE AND HE EVEN SAID BEFORE I GET THROWN INTO ANOTHER PORTAL AND LIKE REGINA AND HENRY LEAVE BECAUSE IT’S AN INTIMATE MOMENT AND THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT WHY ARE THEY SO PERFECT

AND THE RIGHT WAY THIS TIME HE SAYS. FUCK ME DEAD OK?

AND THIS SPEECH. CARVE IT INTO MY FUCKING SOUL BECAUSE IT CANNOT GET BETTER THAN THIS. HE’S ASSURING HER, PROMISING HER THAT SHE CAN BE CERTAIN OF THE ONE THING SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID OF HER WHOLE LIFE. THAT HE WILL NEVER ABANDON HER. THAT HE WILL BE BY HER SIDE, ALWAYS. SHE CAN BE CERTAIN OF THIS FACT.

THE SKY IS BLUE AND THE GRASS IS GREEN AND KILLIAN JONES WILL ALWAYS BE ON EMMA SWAN’S SIDE.

THIS LOOK KILLS ME. HE IS SO IN LOVE WITH HER AND I AM SO FUCKING HURT.

*THROWS THINGS* FUCK THIS. FUCKING FUCK THE SMILING AND THE CRYING AND THE PURENESS OF THIS MOMENT.

WILL YOU MARRY ME, HE ASKS. AS THOUGH SHE COULD EVER SAY ANYTHING BUT YES. LOOK AT HIS STUPID HAIR AND HIS STUPID EYES FULL OF HOPE AND HIS LIPS IN A HALF SMILE. LOOOOOK

AND THEN SHE FUCKING–SHE FUCKING KNEELS TOO. 

OF COURSE SHE SAID YES BUT FUCKING LOOK HOW HAPPY THEY ARE I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED ONCE MORE TO SEE THIS HAPPEN IN THE WORLD.

THE PURE, WONDERFUL BEAUTY OF KILLIAN JONES AND EMMA SWAN IN LOVE.

THE FUCK IS THISSSSSS. THE SMILING AND THE FACE TOUCHING AND THE SMILING AND THE FOREHEAD LEANING AND THE SMILING UGHH

SHE’S MUSSED UP HIS HAIR AND SHE WON’T STOP TOUCHING HIMMMM 

THE WAY SHE LOOKS AT HIM WHEN HE’S NOT LOOKING? THAT SLAYS ME MORE THAN ANYTHING EVER. SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH. LOOK AT THOSE EYES.

LOOK AT THEMMM *THROWS MORE THINGS*

AND FUCKING SNOW WHITE AND PRINCE CHARMING WENT INTO A SLEEPING CURSE

TO SAVE HIM AND HE’S LIKE FUCKING FUCK BECAUSE WHO WOULD EVER AND HE’S GOT SO MANY PEOPLE WHO LOVE HIM NOW AND HE’S JUST OVERWHELMED

BUT THEY NEVER LET GO OF EACH OTHER’S HANDS KILL ME DEAD

I AM NOT A HUMAN ANYMORE.

MY BODY IS A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR.

HELP, I NEED A HUG.

-A POEM BY A DECEASED FANGIRL

Jack Zimmermann on drunk history.

So, we’re talking years down the line. Stanley cup champion Jack Zimmermann has come out, married Bitty. They are both degrees of celebrity and Jack entertains people with random historical rants on twitter. Like, there’ll be nothing for two months then a mass of tweets about some battle you’ve never heard of then nothing again for weeks or whatever.

And the drunk history people approach his agent who turns it down because Jack and alcohol but Jack finds out. And he’s like, I see where you’re coming from but I’m in a good place and within limits I’m willing to do this. So the drunk history people have to agree to not push him to drink more, Bitty and Shitty are both going to be there but he’s basically up for this.

And everyone but everyone is expecting uptight hockey robot Jack Zimmermann being, like, 110% intense about hockey history or something.

Instead they get Jack Zimmermann speaking about historical gay romance, lying in his husband’s lap and keeping interupting his own stories to tell Bitty just how much he loves him. Bitty is delighted. Shitty cries at the beauty of it. The world loves it. When he sobers up again Jack is kind of shy about it in a pleased way. Like, if you mention it to him he blushes and smiles and talks about hockey at you.

It’s adorable.

3

If they’re not gonna plan their wedding right now, I’ll do it for them. 
– Snow White, probably at some point. 

[click images to view hi-res]

Wedding Sabotage au Feat. Laurent and Nik teaming up

This is an outline of like????,,, one scene and yep lemme kno if u actaully would want this bc lmaoo……*wears sunglasses to hide the tears*

  • Auguste and Damen grew up together as friends and had brought the families together after a long time of low-key petty rivalry. Laurent grew up with Damen but was much younger than both Damen and Auguste. Damen had all the qualities of a hero from his books (that and he was *que 11 year old blushing smaurent* “super pretty”). Well this crush never went away, to Laurent’s dismay, because he knew Damen would always see him as a little kid.
  • Laurent was 19, turning 20, and finally going to try and tell Damen his feelings. To which gets stopped dead in his tracks when he comes home and Damen is there, sweetly tipsy with a beautiful blonde on his arm.
  • Laurent is very bitter, and after two years he is, how do you say, extremely bitter.
  • Laurent is at the engagement party for Damen and Jokaste.
  • He is standing next to Auguste, in a circle of party goers who are all celebrating and congratulating Damen
  • Laurent is in a particularly foul mood
  • Nikandros who is also in this small circle of “assholes” (as he would put it) he is also a very bitter best friend
  • Anyways Damen leaves to go find Jokaste (she walked away to talk to other guests or something) and he kisses Laurent on the cheek before leaving and drags Auguste with him
  • Laurent’s mood worsens,,,, he gotta fight w someone and Nik is the closest victim
  • Ahh Nik and Laurent what a relationship they have had

Keep reading

It’s 1AM and crazy ideas are coming.

Imagine this:

Victuuri Secretly Married AU

  • In which Victor and Yuuri met four years prior and had been married since Yuuri was 21 and Victor was 25
  • They met when Victor took an impromptu vacation to the first hotel or inn he had randomly clicked, which turned out to be Yu-topia Akatsuki in Hasetsu, Japan. He was 22 at that time and Yuuri was eighteen.
  • Everyone knows that Victor is married at twenty-five, but no one knew that he was married to Yuuri. The only ones who knew were Yuuri’s family, the Nishigori family, Celestino and Yakov.
  • During the GPF in Sochi, instead of just being notified by his mother that Vicchan passed away, he was also in the middle of an argument with Victor, which made his loss even worse.
  • After the Banquet, the two made up but Yuuri still stopped skating after that in order for him to pay more attention to graduating and coming home. Yuuri threatened Victor with a divorce if he doesn’t come home to Japan after Worlds.
  • For some reason, the secret was still intact despite the dance battle and him grinding Victor jokingly telling him to be his coach.
  • Fast forward after Worlds, Yuuri still skates Stammi Vicino and the triplets uploaded it. That became the perfect excuse for Victor to come home, and everything goes canon.

How did the others find out?

  • Yuri warned Yuuri not to get too involved with Victor, saying that he’s a married man and he should stay away in respect to his ‘wife.’
  • During the Cup of China, Chris warns Yuuri that Victor’s wife might be furious with him since he might have stolen Victor from her.
  • Yuuri having anxiety during the free skate in fear that if Yuuri flops it, it might not only affect Victor’s coaching him, but also their marriage. It doesn’t stop Victor doing the stupid thing by saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
  • The Kiss occurs and the world and social media was thrown into chaos, calling Victor unfaithful and Yuuri a home wrecker. Everything got worse until Victor has had enough and told the world he was married to Yuuri.
  • Phichit calling and texting Yuuri complaining “How could you hide this from your best friend?” “I want to see wedding pictures!” “How did this happen?” and “How long have you two been married?”
  • Yuri yelling “VICTOR YOU IDIOT!”
  • Chris complaining he wasn’t invited to the wedding and was the first to apologize to Yuuri about silently accusing him from stealing Victor.
  • Guang-Hong and Leo in the background and sighing as they listen to Phichit complain and at the same time gush at his best friend.
  • Yakov’s hair slowly disappearing from the stress thanks to Victor.
6

he’s so beautiful (´▽`ʃƪ)♡