marry-a-man

My uncle is working video for the Blink 182 concert (my favorite band since I was a kid) and he got me Travis' drumsticks and Mark and Matt's guitar picks, all signed
  • Rob: so when he sends them we're obviously going to put them in-
  • Me: My mouth.
  • Rob: no...no that's absolutely not what we're going to do. We're going to put them in a frame-
  • Me: after they are in my mouth....
  • Rob: wha- ugh, no, Tara. You're not putting them in your-
  • Me: I just...
  • Rob: *sigh*
  • Me: I want them in my mouth.

anonymous asked:

Help, You're a happily married man so maybe you can help me. My girlfriend and i am heavily into text RP and have been for years, but recently her character and another person's character got into a relationship and it's been very fluffy, I haven't said anything but it makes me feel jealous and uncomfortable but she's very into it, it makes her happy to Roleplay with him, i like him too and i know that it's all just rp, but i still don't feel okay with it. I don't want to ruin her fun. Help?

First of all, recognize that your feelings are valid. I’m not saying they’re valid because there’s anything nefarious going on. Your feelings are valid because you are feeling them. So give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling without requiring an extra layer of guilt piled on.

Secondly, I think you need to tell your girlfriend how you feel. One of the reasons I’m a “happily married man” is because my wife and I are very open and honest in how we communicate about our feelings. If one of us is feeling uncomfortable or insecure about something, we tell the other person about it. And usually, the sooner we say something, the easier it is to adjust.

Now, my wife and I are far from perfect at this, but we’ve had a lot of practice so I’ll share a few lessons I’ve learned.

• Tell her how YOU feel. It can be vulnerable and scary thing to say things like, “I feel uncomfortable when…” or “I feel jealous when…” because we often think this makes us look weak. But that’s not really such a bad thing. When we are scared or uncomfortable is often when we are most honest, and if we try to appear brave and strong ALL the time, we’re clearly not being honest.

• State your feelings without a laundry list of pre-disclosures. I’ve found that when I need to talk to my wife about something, if I start with a list of precursors like, “Now you know I love you…” or “You probably don’t mean to come across this way, but…” or “I’m probably just being oversensitive, but…” all these statements really do is make her nervous or defensive so it’s harder for her to hear what I’m really trying to say. Just say how you feel without a preamble, and then if she has objections or concerns, THEN you say those things. But trying to address counterpoints before they come up is just exhausting for everyone, and gives them less participation in the discussion.

• It should be a discussion. After you tell her how you feel, ask her what she thinks a good solution might be. Don’t come into the conversation with “the solution” already figured out. You open up a discussion that allows both of you to figure that out together.

• Don’t include anyone in the discussion that doesn’t need to be in it. To use the example you mention in your ask, you are uncomfortable when your girlfriend role plays a character that’s in a romantic relationship with your friend’s character. You and your girlfriend both like this guy. He’s probably a nice guy who has no intention of causing problems with your relationship. That’s fine. But recognize that this guy specifically is almost definitely IRRELEVANT TO THE CONVERSATION. It really doesn’t matter how much you like him or who he is or what he has or hasn’t done. What matters is that you feel uncomfortable and jealous, and you are seeking your girlfriend’s help to figure out a solution. The less time you spend distracting from that message, the better.

OK, this response has already gotten a LOT longer than I intended, so I’m going to wrap it up.

Acknowledge and respect your own emotions. Be honest with your girlfriend. And show her the trust and respect she deserves by letting HER be part of the solution. (Instead of some random rambling bald nerd on the internet.)

anonymous asked:

I feel so stupid for my feelings, but I am so sad and grossed out of some people from the fandom I am in. An actor I have deep respect for and I truly adore A LOT is getting shipped with his colleague, they both act in a show I love. The worst thing is that the actor I like so much is a happily married man(he is gay) and people start to write threesome ideas of him, his husband and the other actor. They absolutely ignore that the actor's husband already said he doesn't like people to ship them.

I honestly greatly dislike people who ship irl people unless they are already in a relationship. I think it’s really disrespectful and it makes them very uncomfortable, I’m sure. And to take a gay male and sexualize him and his relationship by writing him in threesomes and such is just… incredibly disgusting and contributes to the sexualization of mlm. You have every right to be upset by it, that’s very gross and unfortunately not uncommon in fandoms. I would maybe try and avoid the fandom, you can enjoy something and not participate in the fandom (this is usually always the best bet because I rarely know of any fandoms that aren’t toxic /: it’s sad).

anonymous asked:

i love my husband not because we were in love but because he was gay and i was a lesbian and we were only married for political reasons and it was kind of perfect. we were best friends masquerading as a married couple and if i had to marry a man im glad it was him. when he fell in love with a man i accepted his love as a brother and when i fell in love with my darling he afforded her the same courtesy. we were a happy bunch, despite the circumstances, and i'd give anything to see them all again.

anonymous asked:

Isabella: Who would have thought you'd marry the man who tried to kill me. But that is my mistake, I should have gotten rid of your silly bird friend. I knew he was just in the way of our love and happiness. We could have been happy Edward, you could have been normal. Isn't that what you want?

anonymous asked:

Send your Mom my congratulations, I'm happy she found someone! ...Hey, she did better than me in that department...

Thank you ❤️
And hey, it took her until she was 45 to marry the man she loves, 42 to realise she loved him, 37 to even meet him for the first time.
There’s hope yet, my friend ✨

Ah yes. You are right, now that I am married to a man, I am no longer bisexual.

Not only have you assumed that my sexuality just disappeared because I have inevitably disappointed the gay community by marrying my best friend, you also assumed that my marraige could not possibly be anything other than perfectly monogamous.

Not that my husband and I may be interested in polyamory in the future , or that
we feel that love and sex don’t always have to be connected and we may be interested in swinging or something to that degree.

You are right. I am now stuck in hetero monogamous hell forever, thanks for informing me :)

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maya hart + closeted lesbian opinions