marry-a-man

I’m pretty jaded as far as marriage and children go because I am in an industry where I make money because a married man is bored of his wife because she likes to sit at home with a glass of wine with her husband and talk about her day to day struggles with a man, that is supposed to be her partner in life. No matter the fact that she birthed two hellions from her vagina and loves her husband very dearly it’s just the fact that she’s old and not as vibrant as she once was.
That is going to be me. I’m going to love my husband to death and birth his children and he is going to be rich and powerful and he’s going to find a young girl to take on his business trips and pay for her car payment, her rent, and her tuition. He’s going to quietly come home to me, tell me his day is fine, and how he has to visit his client in Rhode Island Sunday night because his funds are tied up and he’s freaking out about his new business deal.
He will be with a young woman across town while I’m at home, drinking my glass of wine wishing my husband was there so I could tell him about the latest PTA scandal.

FAKE WIZARD SCAM

ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF A VILLAGE LIVES AN OLD MAN. HE’S CLEARLY A FUCKING WIZARD BECAUSE HE’S OLD AND MYSTERIOUS AND PEOPLE HAVE SPOTTED HIM DOING WIZARDY THINGS. THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING TERRIFIED OF HIM AND HIS WIZARD POWERS.

THE WIZARD IS A DEMANDING MOTHERFUCKER AND LIKES TO TAKE SHIT FROM THE VILLAGERS, ONE DAY HE REALISES THAT HE’S A LONELY OLD FUCK AND WOULD REALLY LIKE A YOUNG SEXY WIFE. HE SENDS A MESSAGE TO THE VILLAGE DEMANDING A WIFE OR HE WILL BURN THE ENTIRE FUCKING VILLAGE DOWN. SINCE THE VILLAGERS HAD LIVED UNDER HIS BULLSHIT TYRANNY FOR YEARS NOW, THEY HAD TO GIVE IN.

THE MAYOR PICKS SOME UNLUCKY FUCKER CALLED GRAZIA TO MARRY THE WIZARD. OBVIOUSLY SHE DOESN’T WANT TO MARRY THE WEIRD OLD MAN, BUT IT’S FOR THE GOOD OF THE VILLAGE AND ALL THAT SHIT. BUT SHE’S NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, SO SHE GOES TO SPY ON HER FUTURE HUSBAND.

SHE SEES HIM DOING A BUNCH OF WIZARDY SHIT, BUT HE’S SUCH A FRAIL OLD FUCK THAT HE CAN’T EVEN PICK HIS CAULDRON UP. HE TAKES THE HANDLE OFF HIS SICKLE AND OUT COME FOUR LITTLE MEN IN LITTLE RED TROUSERS. FUCKING GNOMES OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. THEY’RE ALL CRYING BECAUSE SLAVERY FUCKING SUCKS.

HE ORDERS THE LITTLE FUCKERS TO CARRY HIS POT, AND THEN REMINDS THEM TO GO AND BURN THE VILLAGE AND MURDER EVERYONE IF HE DOESN’T GET A FUCKING WIFE. THEN HE SHOVES THEM BACK IN HIS SICKLE. GRAZIA SEES THE WHOLE FUCKING THING AND KNOWS THE SECRET TO HIS FAKE WIZARD FUCKERY. 

GRAZIA THEN GOES INTO THE OLD MAN’S HOUSE, TAKES THE SICKLE AND FUCKS OFF WITH IT. HE CHASES HER FOR A BIT BUT HE CAN’T CATCH HER, AND WHEN SHE SMASHES THE SICKLE AGAINST THE GROUND THE LITTLE SPIRIT PEOPLE FUCK RIGHT OFF. THE OLD MAN THEN FUCKING DISAPPEARS ALONG WITH HIS HOUSE AND FINALLY THE VILLAGE IS FREE FROM BULLSHIT FAKE WIZARD TYRANNY.

anonymous asked:

(A)This will probably sound awful but, here goes. Ever since I became "sexually active" (haha), I've found that the /only/ times I am really looking forward to sex, and actively participate, and -enjoy- it is when I am under the influence. I've also

(B) found that afterward, I’m extremely moody. Is this something other aces deal with? I’m married, to an amazing man and have two kids.. so I don’t do this often at all but it’s… frightening to me

I can definitely relate to this. I’m the exact same way, so you are definitely not alone. Every sexual encounter I’ve had with the exception of the traumatic one were under the influence and I hated myself for days afterward. It’s not that I felt like it was inherently wrong, it was just that it contributed to the broken feeling because I had to be drunk to do it. It was stressful, to say the least.

I know exactly how you feel, anon.

anonymous asked:

wait dita did what to manson??? i thought he cheated on her??

He did, after she spent tons of time trying to change everything about him, pushing him further and further away. In an interview during the leadup to EMDM, he said:

“It’s difficult to say if there is a difference between Brian Warner and Marilyn Manson. I find that on the contrary, there is more of Marilyn Manson on the album than any of my other records. You know, I’d started to lose my identity last year. It’s definitely one of the reasons why I’d almost stopped making music; I was telling myself that Marilyn Manson isn’t a good thing to be, essentially because of my relationship at the time. I was made to feel that I had to be more mature and responsible, everything that comes with being a married man but in the end just didn’t suit me. And so, putting myself into the album helped me to feel like myself again. I don’t know what you can call that, but I would say that the album is a true representation of who I really am.”

In 2006, his mother was also diagnosed with the mental illness that took her life recently. Dita wasn’t there for him emotionally, but instead, trying to change him, and make him what she wanted. His father had warned him that she didn’t love him, she loved his persona, and it came true. The reason he started cheating with Evan was, while he was suicidal, she picked up a knife and told him to stab her. He said that when someone you care about is willing to die with you, you suddenly don’t want to die anymore. 

He also had trouble writing music while with her due to her influence, and it was only when Skold suggested just writing it about how he was feeling that he was able to write again. His increased efforts in painting and film at this time were also because of her, because of his inability to write music at the time.

“I was expected to be “normal” in the sense that people define normal. I was expected to not work to justify my dedication to someone else. I was expected to show my love in a way that I didn’t know at the time is impossible for me. I know now that isn’t really the way I can show it the best. If I want to say I love somebody, I should be able to show that. I don’t think there’s any stronger way to show that than writing a song or painting a picture. I realized that’s my way of expressing who I am. I came close to being artistically and as a person, dead. That’s what made me realize that I had to look at the rest of the world and people’s opinion on my art in a different way.”

Basically, Dita tried to change who he was, what he was, and how he thought, was unavailable emotionally when his mother was diagnosed with dementia, and he ended up cheating because Evan was there for him when Dita never was. A partner shouldn’t try to force you to be things you aren’t, and shouldn’t feel like a burden, and should be there for you during hard times, and definitely shouldn’t deliver divorce papers on your birthday. She also took all four of his pets when she moved out, even though he’d had Lily White, who he considers his child, since before they started dating. Lily was the only one he got back. Oh, and you know how “If I Was Your Vampire”, there’s the “Six AM Christmas morning” lyric? That’s when he got the call that she was leaving him and taking both cats and both dogs. 

Dita Von Teese is a toxic, abusive person, and intentionally went out of her way to try to push Manson over the edge, taking some of the only things he loved, not giving a shit about the struggles in his life, and trying to make him be what she wanted.

my dad got me cinnamon donuts today because I mentioned in passing I don’t like Krispy Kreme I just like cinnamon and honestly I just love him so much I would be honoured to marry a man like my father, as ignorant as he is sometimes he is lovely.

anonymous asked:

Has anyone thought about the fact that nick will definitely be schmidts best man and jess will definitely be ceces maid of honour... Perfect setup for nick and jess to realise they belong together! Watching their bestfriends get married, doings the best man/maid of honour dance - so much opportunity for ness feels - someone write a fic about this !

I think I’d like them to already be together at the wedding, then they can just be fun and silly together otherwise it could run the risk of being a little like Elaine’s Big Day. What the hell am I talking about, I will take that reunion any way I can get it!

anonymous asked:

Hi! I've been keeping up with all your blogs and your wordpress for awhile now and I just have to say I love your writing and your love of Chris Evans ;) But I was just wondering, I know Henry is your man but would you ever consider writing any Armie smut? Keep up the awesome writing!

Originally posted by the-fastest-waffle

Well there’s an idea! Fuck!
Lemme give this one some thought. It’s definitely a possibility! I have never written about a married man tho, so it would most likely be an AU.
The man definitely has some spunk tho. I can see shit getting outta hand quick with this one…

Originally posted by ffrenchtoast


Thank you for the love Nonny!! xx

Who wants to see this request happen??

Originally posted by sammysnipples

I’m honestly sick to my stomach. I’m married to a man, but most of my family still knows I’m pansexual. My dad has known for a few years now. And he’s going on a huge fucking rant on facebook about how no one should be forced to give out marriage licenses to gay people and religious freedom and how Christian people get just as much hate from gay people. 

He’s so relentless saying how gay people just bully poor Christians and I’ve fucking had people tell me straight to my face that they wish they could line up and execute gay people. 

I can’t stop freaking out. My own family thinks these things. I’m going to fucking cry.

3

kimheenim: Mother and son’s conversation  #Ifitslikethis #itsnotthat #Idontdateagirlfriend #butIcantdate #whatistheproblem #kingofsensitivity #KimHeenim

Mother: You have to eat your meals well, if you don’t eat you’ll get sick . At times like this I really want to have a daughter in law.it’d be nice if someone can take care of my son. It’s a pity that mom can’t do that. You have to lose weight healthy ㅠㅠ

Heechul: Ah I want to get married but living with a woman is troublesome ㅡㅡ

Heechul: What kind of talk is thisㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Mother: Really, what are you saying, i’m shocked. People will misunderstand if they hear it ㅋㅋ

Heechul: I have to use the bed by myselfㅡㅡIf there’s someone besides me I can’t sleepㅋㅋㅋㅋ later when i get married, can we use 2 beds.

Heejin [Heechul’s sister] left a comment on Heechul’s IG: i also slept by myself before and when i started to sleep with another person, i can’t sleep either ㅋ sensitive sensitive

Heechul’s reply :Oh,because you two cant sleep ,that is why i will have a nephew…(c)(c) (c)