married-young

I’m actually really scared for tonight. I just hope Eclare ends up together. I know most won’t feel the same way, but it’s like, I’ve spent like 5 years shipping this couple. 5 freaking years. I don’t want it all to be for nothing. As long as there’s a glimmer of hope for them, I can be a little happy. I don’t think they should be getting married so young, but I do hope that they stay together. That is all. 

jazzyfaye19 asked:

Do you think it is a bad thing to get married young (i.e. 20/21) if you love that person, prayed on it and understand the severity of your oath? My family disagrees with the idea.

it depends on the people. my opinion is often that if it’s solid then waiting will only make things better. when you love a person at 20/21, imagine how deep and rich the love will be at 25/26. me at 20 was way different than me now. and i know that i needed the space to learn and grow and be before i could commit to a person. at 20 and 21 i was still discovering me. marrying someone at that age wouldn’t have made sense. i was still in school, i wasn’t established in my career. 

but i tend to take things slow. and praying about something is not the same as getting confirmation from God that marriage is the next step

but, every couple is different so

anonymous asked:

i took classics in high school and it was good but it is literally 100% male oriented. the only thing we learnt about women in classics was women being married at young ages, there are plenty of women in classical history we could've learnt about but most classic courses deem them unimportant. it could get very frustrating at times.

Oh wow, I literally just said “I bet the females are erased”. Blurgh.

anonymous asked:

I'm 16 and engaged to my boyfriend who I'm madly in love with.. Are we crazy?? Haha xxxx

Crazy? No. Lot’s of people are madly in love at 16, lots of people want to get married when they’re 16. Lot’s of people also find that who they love at 16 is not going to be who they love at 26, 56 or 86 though. It’s important to give yourselves time to grow as people before legally binding yourselves to one another. 

If you’re meant to be together forever, you can wait to get married for a while. Finish school, go to college if that’s what you want to do, work for a while, move in together when you’re 18, pay bills together, do laundry together, have a car tire explode on the freeway, have a pet die, have a pregnancy scare, freak out about how you’re going to pay rent AND eat AND keep the lights on, have a big fight about how you feel about each other’s friends, feel jealous about someone they work with, experience life for a while with each other and see how you manage. Figure out how you both handle stress and boredom and anxiety. See if they are someone you can live with for the rest of your life. 

Being in love is amazing, being in love and still liking each other after some shit goes down is harder. It’s easy to think everything will be sunshine and roses when you’re 16 and don’t have to worry about bills and rent and what to make for dinner and car insurance and a job you hate and being too tired to have sex. 

If it’s for life, you’ve got time. Be engaged for a super long time. Be engaged for 10 years if you want. But make sure this is the person who is going to grow with you and not away from you.

That’s my biggest advice for young people who want to get married. You grow SO much during your late teens and 20’s. So much stuff happens. And it’s natural that as you’re growing and learning about yourself and how you react to real life that you might discover that you’re growing apart. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just how it happens. I know people who met their partner in high school and got married young and built a life together and are still married in their 50’s and 60’s. But it’s SO rare. And I can tell you that although I know it can happen, I’ve seen a lot more people who thought they wanted to be married at 18 or 20 who ended up divorced by 30 and who missed out on HUGE experiences they could have had if they hadn’t been trying to make a life work with someone who wasn’t fitting with them anymore. 

I was engaged at 18, I didn’t marry that person. He met someone else while he was dating me and broke up with me for her. They’re married and have three kids. That worked out for them. I was with someone from 21 to 28, we didn’t get married. He’s married now and I’m married now to different people. We’re both happy. (I think he’s happy. I don’t talk to him but mutual friends have said he’s happy.) 

I can’t imagine being married to anyone except who I am married to now. I was 30 when I got married. I’m glad I waited. I experienced SO much just between 28 and 30 that was important for me to do so that I could be healthy and an active participant in a relationship. If I had gotten married at 18 to that first guy I probably wouldn’t have gone to college, I wouldn’t have moved out of Alaska, I wouldn’t have traveled or been a music writer or a victim advocate or a radio DJ or a sex advice blogger. I would have been a wife and a mom in no time, I’m sure. That’s what he wanted. He wanted a family right away. He found someone who wanted that with him and I am SO SO SO grateful he did find that person for him and that I moved on and was able to experience all the amazing things I did. And now I’m ready to be a wife and a mom. And I found a partner who is ready with me and is growing and learning with me. We met at the best possible time in our lives for things to work with the two of us. (Fun fact: we went to junior high and high school together but where such radically different people in high school that we would have NEVER worked out romantically. It took FIFTEEN YEARS for us to cross paths again in a way that put us together romantically. Amazing, right?!) 

So, be engaged. Be engaged for a super long time. Be in love. But don’t forget to live your life in the meantime. 

-Dani

I’m 19 years old and happily engaged. i hate how people keep saying that both my fiance and i are stupid for getting engaged at such a young age and planing to get married in the same year. i love him not only is he my fiance but he was my best friend first hes seen me at my ups and at my downs. hes seen all my heart breaks. he is my soulmate and i wish people would stop judging us and look at the love we have and be happy for us.

anonymous asked:

marriage is such a beautiful thing. but so is dating. it saddens me to watch such a young and beautiful couple rush through important stages of a relationship. after you're married, you never get to experience the simplicity and bliss that is dating. sure, you get to experience a whole new wonder of things. I just hope you don't regret fast forwarding through such a wonderful and innocent time of life to get to what you think will be "real life" like so many people I've watched marry young

Hi Anon,

I don’t normally respond to these types of messages but today I will. I appreciate your concern, but if you truly knew my relationship with Ashley and how our relationship has progressed this would be of no surprise to you. If you knew the depth of our relationship and my love for Ashley, you would be congratulating me. If you were a close friend and still felt this way, voicing it to me in an anonymous message removes your credibility and ability to have a conversation about it.

I do not want to marry Ashley to get onto “real life.” Marriage does not begin life or define it. However it is beautiful gift that is created by our God as a picture of Christ’s relationship to the Church. We don’t enter into a relationship with the Lord when our lives have reached perfection or when it is “easiest.” We enter into that relationship when He calls us, wherever we are at in life. Marriage is the same way. We aren’t called to get married when it is most convenient, or when all of your t’s are crossed and i’s dotted. Marriage is the becoming one of two people and their creator wherever they are at in life. 

Also please show me a dating relationship in the Bible. It doesn’t exist. Marriage was a true commitment for life. It wasn’t just another stage of a relationship. 

I want to marry Ashley because I love her deeply with ever fiber of my being and that is how we are being led. She is an incredible woman of Godly character so how could I not desire to devote myself to her for the rest of my life? It will be an honor and a blessing to go through every phase of life as one unit. Through the times when we are “feeling it” and when we aren’t. When it is immensely difficult and when it is as natural as breathing. I have no expectation that it will be easy. It will be difficult. It will be a sharpening of each other. The Lord will use us to help each other become more like Christ and it won’t be a painless process. I am eager to tackle all of what life brings together with Ashley. I am immeasurably excited. 

I love being told “getting married at 21 is like leaving a party at 9:30.” I always respond with, “yeah well I’m leaving the party at 9:30 to have sex while you stay at the party until 3am hoping for a one night stand." 

Nothing will EVER make me regret marrying my husband young. I love him more than anything in the whole world.

A married friend of mine just turned 22 and her birthday brought up the fact that she’s looking forward to being an age where people don’t react to her being married like it’s weird. As someone who got engaged at 20 and married at 22 I totally know what she’s saying. It made me remember excitedly discussing my engagement at a work function and a middle aged woman asking how old I was. When I said I was 20 she made a face and hissed, “You are MUCH too young to be engaged.” I just made a “you’re fucking crazy and I didn’t ask you” face and turned back to the people I was actually speaking to. I’m still experiencing strange reactions to me being pregnant and 24. Even more so when I say we tried for 2 years.

But seriously people there are some dramatic differences in maturity among people say 17 - 25. Some people really are too young to get engaged/married/have babies. Some people are ready. Just because you weren’t mature enough or your child isn’t doesn’t mean another person isn’t. So keep your opinion to yourself and quit making young people feel stupid for being happy.

Married at 20 and wouldn't have it any other way

Okay, so there’s a ton of criticism about getting married young. I understand of course, you’re young, live your life, you’ve got so much time so you can always settle down later on. But see the thing is, I know I’m young and I know what I want. I am living my life and as a matter of fact I’m loving it! What because I’m married, I’ve wasted my life? Marriage has given me so much more to live for! I can’t go and do fun stuff? Like what? Party and sleep with tons of guys who I have no feelings for? I think the most fun thing is being at home with my husband and play fighting. Marriage doesn’t stop me from doing anything I shouldn’t be doing. I was crazy, sneaking out and partying before I got married and that just wasn’t a good life. Now I’m married and I realize I don’t need all of that. Everything I did out there, I get from my husband. All that excitement and rush, I now get just by being with my husband. So does age really matter? I’m in college so will my marriage affect me graduating? No. The only thing affecting me and college is how I feel about college. My marriage has absolutely nothing to do with me going to college (which I will finish and am about to graduate). So tell me how being married at 20 is not right? Sometimes we need something or someone to get our life together and by marrying the man of my dreams my life got put back together like puzzle pieces. But you know the most important thing about it though? Being with the one person I want to be with most at the end of the day for every day of the rest of my life. Knowing that he is mine. There is no motivation like it. Marriage is supporting one another so I don’t know how being married so young can be bad. Sure you can say are naïve and don’t know what we’re getting into. But if you’re doing it for all the right reasons, then you’re not doing anything wrong.

I’m so in love with my husband and yes we’re young and immature and we fight, but if you remember what marriage is really about then none of that matters. For those of you who are young and married, don’t forget why you chose who you married. Support each other and never give up because giving up is what is proving them right.

From Lifetime’s mouth to MTV’s ears: The network behind Teen Mom has ordered a pilot for Married Young, a one-hour docuseries following the trials and tribulations of newly wedded couples. The cameras tune in after the couple’s honeymoon and follow the couple through their first year as husband and wife.

The only problem here is that boring title. Might we humbly suggest Desperate Houseteens instead?

When are people going to stop shaking their heads when I tell them I’m married and stop calling us babies? We have our own house, pay our own bills, take care of ourselves, last time I checked, babies can’t do that. Sorry that my way of living is not “being young” by going out and partying every weekend and not knowing what happened or who I was with.
A few things about Hayes & I.

gratefulsara asked me a few questions about my 10year relationship with hayes & how we’ve navigated through it when we began at 18years old. She’s been with her love for 10 years too (I’m jealous they got to go to prom together! Hayes was anti-prom) and there’s nothing I love more than seeing young love stand the test of time- that and getting the chance to talk about ourselves- ha! Thanks for the questions lovely lady!

  •  How did you guys begin? In our high school cinema class, senior year, the first thing he ever directly said to me was a joke that made me laugh so loud, the entire class turned to look at us- I had thought he was cute since the 6th grade, but that was the moment that changed my feelings toward him. I was wicked shy, so our beginning is thanks in part to 4 of our mutual friends who got the ball rolling with our first date: 4.17.05 (I still thank them every year on our anniversary!) and the rest is history.
  • The hardest part of being together so young? We’re like a well oiled machine now, never faltering with each other (money is a different story, money problems will be the death of me, I’m sure of it- but I’m glad hayes is by my side through all the difficulty of it.), we know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, but when I first started college, we had only been dating six months, and I went through a phase where I thought I was missing out on the dating scene there. But now, in hindsight, I can see all those situations I thought I wanted to be a part of were actually jokes! I’m glad we stuck to our guns. 
  • How did marriage change your relationship? Honestly, aside from my name changing (which no one getting married is even forced to do, & I’m always a supporter of keeping your roots! But I was just never a fan of how my maiden name didn’t roll off my tongue when I said it out loud, so I was glad for a change!) absolutely nothing! We dated 5 years before getting married and lived together 3 years before tying the knot, so we were used to each other. Oh, we did open a joint bank account to simplify paying bills, while still keeping our separate ones, but sometimes I forget we’re even married, it still feels like we’re just forever dating- we just happened to have an amazing party halfway through where all our friends and family came to drink/dance with us while I wore a white dress
  • What’s been your key to success? He never stops making me laugh. I think that’s why I keep him around, especially because our biggest problem is money problems- not either one of our faults, just the situation we’re in with me being “technically self- employed” when it comes to taxes- because when you can’t laugh about your greatest troubles, then you’re really screwed! Also, a healthy sex life; and finding a hobby we both enjoy together (ours is yearly roadtrips & lazy sunday margaritas with tacos), but at the same time having hobbies neither one of us has any interest in doing together! (hayes hates camping, while i’m addicted; and he loves computer/video games, but blah). He just makes me feel good about myself, inside and out. I’m lucky to have him. 
How Do You Know?

I got married when I was 21.

That was never the plan.

I was going to be a perfect grownup at 25 or 26 and then start thinking about marriage.

I met him when I was 16.

Someone asked me, probably expecting me to stumble over words…

How do you know? How did you know he was the one?……


You know when 16 hours of order-out pizza and wings along with a Doctor Who marathon and no talking counts as a great date

You know when he puts the trash can on your side of the bed when you’ve had too much to drink

You know when y'all can joke about him leaving you if you don’t give up that damn Candy Crush.

You know when he can tell the truth about how that dress REALLY makes your butt look.

You know when distance actually makes the heart grow fonder

You know when you’re better together than you ever were apart

You know when they’re gone and there’s a hole…

Not a hole in your heart, because the heart is fickle

But a hole in your soul

You know when you try to imagine your life without him…


And you can’t

Word of advice for those under 22, if he/she is the love of your life he/she will still be the love of your life once you are more mentally, financially, emotionally and physically stable for marriage. There's no need to rush into it.

There’s is so much to do in life that we often take for granted.
Get yourself an education, bachelors, masters as high up you can go.
Get yourself a career.
Get yourself a drivers license.
Get yourself a job, a good paying one.
Get yourself a savings account, be able to hold your own down first before holding down for two+ (if you plan for children also).
Get yourself a passport, travel to somewhere you have never been to.
Get yourself to learn about you! A lot of times we go into relationships not truly understanding who we are or even valuing who we are. Love yourself first, if you don’t love yourself first you won’t love someone else properly and you won’t know if your partner is loving you to the degree that you deserve.
Women: Become independent before marriage so you don’t always have to depend on a man. Have your own job, your education. I mean if you find a man who is in love with you and prefers you managing the home, children and money that he brings home for the bills, kudos to you. But being your own person always feels good too.
Men: Also be independent, but also be the man of the house, in the sense that your family always feels protected and know that you love them and all your hard work is for them.

Don’t rush to get married there’s so much you can do before to become ready.
I’m not saying to never get married but it is a serious commitment and the moment you say I do let go of that ego because now it’s “We” instead of just “Me”.

As far as I'm concerned

Happily married couples are happy because they choose to be. They do what’s necessary to keep their marriage intact and faithful. A couple in love make the necessary sacrifices and work hard to keep their love alive. It’s a commitment that I’ve made and one that will not be broken. My husband and I both agree that divorce is not an option for either of us and in order to keep that promise to one another we do our best to make one another happy and comfortable in every way possible. Whether it be mentally, emotionally, financially, or sexually; it is our job to work together and to fill whatever gaps their are. 
Of course there are obstacles along the way but they are hurdles that can only be won over by working hand in hand, side by side. Making the decision to spend your life with someone means always having two minds, two bodies and two hearts working together as one.

Make sure your marriage holds strong, that both pillars are carrying their weight and that if one is weak, the other builds their strength. 

-Veronica