marriage lesson

Lesson 11.4: Soul Relationships

Our souls come here to grow. We cannot grow in isolation and different souls cross paths in order to help each other and all of humanity to evolve. We do this through different relationships: karmic relationships, soulmate relationships, and twin flame relationships. A lot of the time we confuse these relationships and misinterpret their meaning, because they all do have overlapping attributes. However, all kinds of soul relationships are unique in their own way. 

Karmic Relationships

Karmic relationships are relationships with people who teach us lessons we didn’t master in our last lifetime. They usually don’t work out, but that’s because they’re not supposed to. Lasting forever would defeat the purpose of a karmic relationship. Your karmic soulmate should come into your life, teach you/challenge you through different experiences, and then leave. This sounds harsh, but it’s not bad. They are called “karmic” relationships because their purpose is to help both of the souls balance mutual karma. That’s why karmic relationships often form based on strong attraction (whether it be physical, mental or emotional), because both souls know that they need this connection in order to balance karma from a past life. There will be good times in these relationships and the end is not always abrupt or through heartbreak, especially if the two souls involved are mindful. It takes strength to be in these relationships, as sometimes it’s hard to let go. 

We may want to hold on for some reason, maybe there’s something in the relationship that we can’t let go of, but we have to understand that letting go is learning our lesson and afterward we will move on to better things and new lessons. Like any soulmate, you can have karmic relationships with your friends as well.

Soulmate Relationships

Soulmates are souls who teach us lessons as well. The souls we’re with in karmic relationships often teach us things that influence our perception of reality and help us to grow our perception. Soulmates often teach us things that help us to grow internally. 

“Soul mates share a common mission and comparable stage of spiritual development. They come together because they are working on the same type of karma and the same chakra simultaneously.

So soul mates have an attraction that is based on the sacred labor and on the path of self-mastery.

A soul mate is like the echo of oneself in Matter working at the same task to fulfill a blueprint for God.” – Elizabeth Clare Prophet

Soulmate relationships experience hardships just as any other relationship does. The difference is that in soulmate relationships, the hardships we face are usually centered around growth. The challenges help us to change and when we experience difficulty with a soulmate, we turn to introspection to see what we can do internally to help the situation. This is because soulmates are here to help us do that, to be introspective and see how we can grow. Soulmates often focus on you and how you can become a better person, whereas karmic partners focus on themselves. See, karmic lovers won’t directly encourage us to grow. Through their actions and the flaws in their personalities and our ability to let go of them, they help us to grow. Soulmates directly try to help us become better people. They even help us with self-awareness and realizing our greatness and our purpose.

Half of our soulmates won’t even be romantic. The purpose of a soulmate is to help us grow and evolve in this life and become better versions of ourselves, which doesn’t have to be romantic. A soulmate can even be a stranger you encounter for a few minutes, but within that encounter something will happen that helps you to grow. We often have “soul circles” or “soul families”, a group of other souls who we travel through lifetimes with. These will be good friends of yours who you become friends with in each lifetime. If you have friends who feel more like your family than the people you’re actually related to do, then they could be your soul circle.

Twin Flames

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Some Tips for Loving Your Wife

These are just a few tips I’ve learned after 10+ years of marriage. I thought they were worth passing on…

• If she’s on her period, she needs: IRON, and it’s your job to get it for her (red meat is usually a safe bet)

• If she’s breastfeeding, she needs: WATER, and it’s your job to get it for her (I don’t care if it’s late and you’re tired, if she can produce life-giving fluid from her own body, you can get out of bed and keep her hydrated)

• If she says she wants space, she needs: SPACE, and it’s your job to give it to her (seriously, don’t take it personally, just recognize she’s a person who deserves to have her boundaries respected)

enjoy life, enjoy the little things
take in the fresh air when you step outside in the morning and be thankful for another day
cherish moments you’ll never get back,
put your phone down and go lay out on the grass, take a friend out for lunch and coffee
be present with the person in front of you
read a book
make a cup of tea
buy yourself flowers
go for a run, than take a bath
love yourself, but don’t forget to love people

enjoy life, don’t forget to enjoy the little things

“Knowing that marriage is meant to help each other gain salvation should let us know marriage will be a battleground. The last thing Satan wants is for us to gain salvation, and just as he played his part in breaking the communion the first married couple had, he will do his best with each of us. Our sinful passions make it far too easy to fall as his prey.
The only way to have a strong and lasting marriage is to strive after holiness; individually and together as a couple and also as a family. Christian marriage is a calling to death and self emptying—something that will only be accomplished by the grace of God. The real crisis of marriage is that Christians do not understand the degree of daily self-sacrifice that is required of them when they are married. There is no escaping the cross if you want to be a Christian, and Christian marriage has many crosses.”
+Lessons From A Monastery: Marriage as Martyrdom

anonymous asked:

Hey, I really love your thoughts on misogyny in Much Ado (and Much Ado in general) but I was wondering about your thoughts on Don Pedro? I really love him most of the time but he is pretty Problematic w/ the whole Hero situation, and considering that, I don't quite know what to make of him... Just thought I'd ask because I love and agree with everything you've said about the rest of the play :P

Probably the most important thing about Don Pedro is how he relates to Benedick, and how the two men change positions. At the start of the play, Don Pedro seems like the reasonable, respectable one out of the soldiers. He teases Benedick about marriage, gently chastises him for being a “tyrant” to women, insists that he’ll live to see Benedick fall in love, all while Benedick is bitching about how marriage is a trap and he’ll die a bachelor. Don Pedro agrees to help Claudio win Hero as Benedick boos and insults her. 

The most important distinction is that Don Pedro appears to respect women while Benedick does not. The prince is nothing but courteous towards Hero, and he treats Beatrice as an equal while Benedick endlessly fights with her. He even asks Beatrice to marry him – and remember this woman is a ward of her uncle’s. It would be hugely inappropriate for the prince to marry someone of her station, yet Pedro would have “doffed all other respects and made her half myself.” It’s not clear how serious he is about wanting to marry her, but he clearly likes her, and he takes her rejection with good grace. He seems to recognize that intellectually he is not a proper match for her – no, she “were an excellent wife for Benedick.” 

But the Hero situation puts all the men to the test, and Pedro fails that test. As Beatrice says, men are all talk and no action, and what you say means nothing – it’s what you do that counts. So when Don John – who is known to be untrustworthy – comes and tells Don Pedro that Hero is unfaithful, instead of calming Claudio down and advising him to quietly call the wedding off – or to look for solid proof – or to not believe this villain at all – he says, “I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.”

Pedro’s a prince, and he’s the leader of the boys’ club. Claudio looks up to Pedro and seeks his counsel and guidance on everything – he can’t even woo Hero and win her hand, Don Pedro has to do that for him. This world is ruled by misogyny, so it makes perfect sense that the prince, the royal figure with the most power in the play, should espouse and embody those attitudes, and encourage them in his subjects. After everything Don Pedro said before this point, we would expect him to behave reasonably and keep the young Claudio from doing anything stupid. But he doesn’t. And if you listen to the dirty jokes he tells and the way he joins in the lewd banter about Hero’s paternity, it’s clear we should’ve seen this coming.

Pedro believes this young girl deserves public disgrace and death. He is willing to endanger her life and shame Leonato too, because he feels that his own honour has been compromised: at the wedding, he declares, “I stand dishonour’d, that have gone about/To link my dear friend to a common stale.” He is cruel – deliberately cruel to Hero, he wants to use violence upon her because it is the only way to restore his masculine honour. Don Pedro said he loved Hero and that he was in favour of love and marriage – but what he does is almost kill a girl, and when Leonato tells him Hero is dead, he shows no remorse. She was a strumpet, who cares? Better off dead, right?

As for Benedick, he stands by this girl and her cousin. He pleads for calm, he’s the voice of reason. He said he hated Hero and Beatrice and that you can’t trust women, but what he does is care for Hero, believe and trust Beatrice unconditionally, and challenge his two closest friends for their cruel actions. He actually defends women, with his sword, with action and not words.

So at the end of the play, it all comes full circle. Benedick has won the lady’s hand. It is Benedick whom Beatrice loves. Don Pedro? He’s all alone, and deservedly so, and Benedick quips to him, echoing the conversation they had at the start of the play: “Prince, thou art sad. Get thee a wife. Get thee a wife. There’s no staff more reverend that one tipped with horn.” These two, and the way they trade places, perfectly encapsulates Beatrice’s bitter rant: 

“But manhood is melted into courtesies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules that only tells a lie and swears it.”

- and also her plea with Benedick to use his hand “for my love some other way than swearing by it.” In love, as on the battlefield, it’s what you do, not what you say that counts, and so the Prince’s Jester proved himself more honourable and a better choice of husband than the Prince by far.

Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.
—  Fly Away Home, Jennifer Weiner

Todays quote. This is a different perspective of divorce to what surrounded much of the culture I was raised in. I think it may be a healthier attitude to take.
I prefer to distance myself and be quiet when Im angry. I can be the most heartless person when Im angry or in my feelings.
—  Self-Refections (PhoenixRysin)

Me: (having successfully gotten Molly down for her nap, return to the lunch table) Well, I don’t know about you lot, but I too am taking a nap this afternoon. My arms are jelly after all that tomato planting.

Leslie: A nap sounds lovely.

Pai: My hobby is napping.

Hank: I can’t nap. My body just doesn’t do it. I just lay there in the dark, like, this is not working, until I get up.

Pai: You don’t have to sleep to rest.

Me: Exactly, 99% of the time when I say I am napping I mean I am laying flat on the bed and either reading or getting lost in my imagination or Netflix.

Hank: I can’t read a book while my sister is sleeping in our room!

Me: Yes, but you can listen to a podcast with headphones.

Leslie: People are always suggesting that I listen to podcasts, but I have no clue how to actually do that.

Hank: I can help you with that, Leslie!

Me: Hank listens to a podcast you would love called Good Mythical Morning.

Hank: It’s not a podcast it is a show on YouTube.

Me: It’s both.

Hank: It is?

Me: Isn’t it?

Leslie: What is this now?

Me: It is a nerdy talk show hosted by mega smart, southern, eyebrow gesturing dreamboats, Rhett and Link.

Hank: What?

Me: I have a huge crush on the boys from Good Mythical Morning.

Leslie: Nice.

Pai: (nodding, unfazed)

Hank: HEY! You can’t have a crush on them! You’re married to him! (gesturing to Pai)

Pai: She can have a crush on someone. I know she chose me.

Me: Hank, just because I am madly in love with my very own salt and pepper bearded nerd doesn’t mean that I won’t or he won’t be attracted to other people. Your papa has a crush on a singer namedCat Power.

Pai: I do.

Me: See!

Hank: This is weird.

Pai: No, it isn’t. You had a crush on Katy Perry when you were four and I didn’t call you weird! Everyone gets crushes.

Leslie: It’s true!

Me: Contrary to the popular, romantic idea about soul mates there is no such thing. There are more than one person for everyone in this world and that is why choosing to love a particular someone special for as long as you both shall live is an ever evolving commitment. Fidelity is a choice.

Leslie: But crushes on famous people are practically harmless.

Pai: Yes, when am I ever going to meet Cat Power? Who’s real name is Charlyn Marshall, by the way.

Me: Exactly!

Pai: But even if I did meet her and for some odd reason she’d want to go on a date with me I would still choose your mother. Every day.

Me: (blushing, flirty eye contact thrown across the table to my person of 12 years)

Hank: I didn’t have a crush on Katy Perry.


Pai: You did. You can’t deny it.

Leslie: Even I knew this and I live in America.

Hank: (mortifyingly embarrassed, huffs away from the table)

Know Thyself Part 1 (The Lonely)

Learn to spend time by yourself. Be alone, to yourself. If you can’t have fun by yourself, then how good of company can you be to others? Give yourself the time to really get to know YOU. “When you truly know yourself, no one can ever lie to you about who you are.”(Karena Atkinson) Take yourself out to eat, to a movie, or anywhere you would usually take a friend. Being single doesn’t have to be a lonely season. If you spend all of the time you have when you’re single, trying to find someone new, when will you have the time to find you? This is the time to evaluate your heart, the depths to which it can love. Where did things go wrong with the last relationship? How compassionate are you? Are you able to truly let someone into your heart, instead of your bedroom? Are you always searching for companionship because of a void you are trying to fill? Do you always need someone to tell you that you’re beautiful because you never tell yourself? Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. Being single doesn’t mean you are incapable of being loved. Take time for you. “Be worth more than a one night stand, be worth a lifetime.” (Karena Atkinson) -Rena