marriage humor

We know that many children have not had the good fortune of being the result of the careful planning and commitment that naturally flows from methods of conception used by same-sex couples.


Though you will rarely read about it in literature promoting the heterosexual lifestyle, in many heterosexual families children are conceived as an accident, euphemistically known in the heterosexual community as a “surprise.”


Worse still, heterosexual pregnancies typically come about as a direct result of a particular sex act heterosexual adults engage in for the purpose of their own pleasure. Despite years of warnings, public-education campaigns and public-health expenditure, heterosexual couples continue to indulge in this practice knowing full well the consequences and without apparent regard for the cost to society.


Putting aside the public’s understandable frustration with this behavior, we must acknowledge that many heterosexual parents prove themselves to be very much focused on the job of raising healthy children and put in a tremendous effort to achieve this. A majority of heterosexuals live purposeful and upstanding lives, working hard in a range of professions and paying taxes. Many things about heterosexuality may not be ideal, but these are on the whole good people who deserve our support.

— 

Heterosexuals Deserve Our Support | Lisa Pryor for the New York Times

This is excellent. Read the whole thing. And vote yes, Australia! 

CHANBAEK/BAEKYEOL

Chanyeol: Baekhyun.

Baekhyun: Yes?

Chanyeol: Baekhyun

Baekhyun: What?

Chanyeol: Baekhyun

Baekhyun: what??

Chanyeol: BAEKHYUN !

Baekhyun: What???

Chanyeol: BAEKHYUN!!!!!!!!

Baekhyun: WHAT!??!?!?!?!!?

Chanyeol: BAEKHYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baekhyun: OH MY GOSH WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Chanyeol: BAEKHYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baekhyun: I’M SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?!?!!?!?!??!?!?!!?

Chanyeol: …..

Baekhyun: Tell me.

Chanyeol: ……

Baekhyun: Tell Me.

Chanyeol: ….

Baekhyun: TELL ME.

Chanyeol: ……

Baekhyun: ….

Chanyeol: …..

Baekhyun: is it because I yelled at You?

Chanyeol: …..

Baekhyun: Look, I’m Sorry- mmmhpph

Chanyeol: *kisses Baekhyun*

Baekhyun: *Kisses back*

Chanyeol: *Leans back*

*whispers in Baekhyun’s ear*

I love you

*walks away*

Baekhyun: ….. We’re dating….

…. we live together….

we’re getting married next Month..

….*sigh* ..

………..unbelievable….

…..*smiles*…….

……

….

I LOVE YOU TOO YODA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUNNY SON & DAD
  • Son: Dad I want to marry.
  • Dad: Say Sorry.
  • Son: For what?
  • Dad: Say Sorry.
  • Son: But for what?
  • Dad: You first say Sorry.
  • Son: But what's my fault?
  • Dad: You first say Sorry.
  • Son: At least tell me the reason.
  • Dad: First say Sorry.
  • Son: Ok Dad! I'm sorry.
  • Dad: Now you are ready for marriage my son. Your training is complete. You've learned to say sorry without any reason.
Laughing Out Loud

Summary: Dean pops a question. Your reaction isn’t the one he quite expected.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Other Characters: Eiller Leahy; Sam Winchester; Castiel
Warning: Marriage proposal. Reader laughs when nervous, Drabble

Originally posted by yourfavoritedirector

“Just close your eyes.” Dean insisted.

“But why do I have to close my eyes?” You looked at him.

You were in the map room in the bunker, and he was insisting for the latest ten minutes that you should close your eyes.

“Can’t you just trust me?” You boyfriend stated. “It is not like a monster will show up behind you right now.”

You stared at him for a moment, but crossed your arms and closed your eyes.

“Fine. My eyes are closed.” You sighed.

The only thing you heard for a moment was silent and Dean cleaned his throat.

“Okay, open them now.”

When you complied, you were met with a Dean that was on his knees, holding a box with a small diamond ring with a silver band and a nervous look on his face.

“So, I know I’m not the perfect guy and I’m not one to do many chick-flick moments, but I know this is very important to both of us.” He said, looking up at your face and blushing like a tomato. “So, Y/N, I love you. You are the most amazing person in the world and you are my whole world. Will you marry…”

But he didn’t even have an opportunity to finish.

You started laughing. Not giggling, laughing out loud. You weren’t trying to be mean, you were just nervous, and Dean knew you laughed when you were nervous.

When Sam, Eileen and Cas entered the room with smiles, their faces fell when they faced the scene.

“Is Y/N supposed to laugh?” The angel looked at the two by his side.

Dean was blushing even more, deeply frustrated and ready to stand up, and you forced yourself to answer before he could think of giving up.

“I do.” You breathed out between laughter. “I do, I do.”

Ýou gave him your hand and Dean put the ring in there, standing up quickly and holding you as you laughed more.

“I’m so sorry.” You managed to say. “I… Can’t… I can’t stop… I…”

He put his fingers under your chin and pulled you to a kiss, interrupting you. Slowly, your laugh died and you managed to kiss him back.

“I love you. “ You finally said. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

Keep reading

Marriage problems
  1. Hannibal Lecter has a problem with boundaries.

  2. Will is hard work.   OR   Well, Hannibal said yes to everything.

  3. Stunned cannibal.

  4. It looks like Will finally decided.

  5. Well, this isn’t very far from reality.

  6. So many problems for him. So many.

  7. Will is capable of sudden changes of expression.

  8. Hannibal is a saint.

  9. Hannibal wants to keep some mystery in the marriage.

  10. Hannibal is Hannibal.

  11. That’s travel with style.

  12. Maybe Will has not fully understood the word marriage.

  13. Trouble in paradise.

  14. What’s for dinner?

  15. I’m starting to see a pattern in how all the fights will end.

  16. The girl with the series of most peculiar dads in the world

  17. Will’s search for puppies never ends

  18. Special Agent Graham using his power of deduction.

  19. Will is hard to convince and I don’t understand why.

  20. Abigail is waiting for them at home, in the dark kitchen.

  21. That time when Will was smart enough.

  22. Family indoor games.

  23. I don’t understand all this resentment between them.

  24. I hope Will has no doubts left on the subject.

  25. I’d like to see Will and the baby deer confronting each other.

  26. They should try counseling with the Wendigo.

  27. Since Frederick is so eager to be friend with Hannibal…

  28. They have their things to discuss at the dinner table.

  29. After all, he is a psychiatrist.

  30. This marriage s'ha da fare.

  31. Aaaaand… We tied the knot! Hannibal is happy. As you can see, Will has the same expression as always. Hannibal must enjoy what he has.

  32. I can’t help it. I love this family.

  33. Hannibal insists on having people for dinner.

  34. I bet Christmas is Will's favourite time of the year.

  35. Poor Hannibal can’t think properly. Not entirely his fault.

  36. Will using his power.

  37. After this conversation Will confiscated Hannibal’s phone. Forever.

  38. Their neighbours keep changing.

  39. Probably Hugh Dancy, Will.

  40. They’re not listening to Jack anymore.

  41. Come on, Will, just an ear…

  42. They didn’t expect the tears. The tears end the game.

  43. He is an artist, Will. Leave him alone.

  44. I think Hannibal won’t stop asking his favourite questions. Can I eat you, Will? AND Can I kill Jack?

  45. This is the natural consequence of n#44. Hannibal never listens.

  46. I hope Abigail appreciates the effort.

  47. No such thing as a simple dinner, with Hannibal, uh?

  48. It must be a habit of his.

  49. Will starting to sound reasonable. And… Dominant.

  50. Will is now unstoppable.

  51. Pazzi is another victim of the Murder Husbands. In every way possible.

  52. Maybe it’s a new board game.

  53. You do this every time, Will…

  54. Will makes him suspicious.

  55. Anthony is one enthusiastic guy.

  56. Will… You know that you can’t say certain things.

  57. A bunch of psychopaths…

  58. Will, at some point you agreed to that. So…

  59. Dogs learn quickly.

  60. New new new new new new new…dog.

  61. A school day with husband.

  62. Murder Husbands leisure time!

  63. Dads.

  64. Cast pearls before swine.

  65. Hannibal’s gifts.

  66. Trying to pass on knowledge to unworthy people.

  67. Kinks.

  68. Murder Husbands are going to wait with us.

  69. The toilet problem.

  70. Hierarchy.


These and the recaps are my big accomplishment of 2016! I wanted to collect them together.

I now understand proudness.

  • society: what are you talking about, gay people are accepted in society
  • gay man: that's only because you watch Glee so you think we're just the "hilarious gay sidekick"
  • lesbian: that's only because you watch porn
  • transgender or non-binary person: do you want to talk about the duggars or no
  • asexual, bisexual, or pansexual person: don't even get me started
THE BEST THING A MAN CAN DO...

FOR HIS CHILDREN IS TO LOVE THEIR MOTHER. 

That’s how the saying goes.

President Barack Obama loved his wife, his children, his country, his planet and all the loving, fearful, messed up, hopeful people living on it. 

That’s him looking at her while 20,000 people screamed and cheered in her honor.

He was a great president and person, and will be missed terribly.