387 days ago, at about this time, Mark told me that he loves me “more” and left for work. Those precious last words will never leave me. Of all the things he ever said to me during our time together, “I love you more” is the only phrase I can practically hear him say to me over and over, every day.
This is something that has changed my life. Obviously, in many ways…but mostly because I am now more careful than ever about the words I speak to others. Especially my family and friends. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “this may be the last time I see her - does she know that I love her?”
I didn’t need Mark to say he loved me in order to know and feel it. He never left without saying “bye baby” and kissing me on the forehead or a peck on the lips…even after disagreements or misunderstandings. BUT if those weren’t the last words I heard his voice speak…if, for some reason, we got into an argument and he left without saying a word…or if we were one of those couples who speak hateful, demeaning, disrespectful words to one another - I’d imagine it would be extremely difficult to find peace in the midst of grief. If our last interaction was hostile, or even emotionless - my grief would be intensified every time I’d think of those moments.
It’s just another thing I’m eternally grateful for. Thank you Jesus.