• Baby:m... M... M
  • Mother:Mommy?
  • Baby:Motherfucking Jesse eisenberg Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfucking Facebook movie bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit
  • God damn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins god damn rowin the boat fuck yo shit I can't even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man
  • Mother fucking Spider-Man Spider-Man you put in the time fuck put in the time fuck mother fucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse eisenberg I'm very tired
  • No man I'll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year & a half ago fuck Jesse eisenberg he fucked over Spider-Man crazy winklevoss twins rowing Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like die I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook
  • MARK ZUCKERBERG
Remember when Mark Zuckerberg declared that the age of privacy was over?

Well, that was before he spent $100 million on 750 acres of Kauai North Shore plantation and beachfront, the majority of which will sit undeveloped in order to provide a buffer between his private retreat and the public who might want to pry into his life.

That’s in addition to the four houses he bought around his home in Silicon Valley, which sit empty, providing an exclusion zone that protects him against prying eyes.

Then there was the time he flipped out because his sister screwed up her (deliberately over-complicated and difficult-to-understand) Facebook privacy settings and shared a photo of a private family moment.

When Mark Zuckerberg (or Eric Schmidt) declares privacy to be dead, they’re not making an observation, they’re making a wish. What they mean is, “If your privacy was dead, I would be richer.”

The best use for Facebook is to teach people why they should leave Facebook.

8 Alarming Things In Facebook’s User Policy You Had No Idea You Agreed To

Are you one of Facebook’s 1.4 billion users? If so, you agreed to these alarming clauses in its user policy without even knowing it.

1. Any photos you post are subject to be printed out and hung in the kitchen at Facebook’s office headquarters.

2. Facebook may turn over any user data to the Department of Agriculture if it is deemed “of critical value to the harvest.”

3. If your father creates an account, he will be notified any time you make a post that is deemed “too rowdy.”

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You’ve Heard of Sleep Texting Now Get Ready For

motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg JESUS Christ fuck dude mother fucking Facebook movie bullshit JESUS can you fucking believe this shit God damn created Facebook then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winkle boss twins God damn rowing the boat God damn this shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man motherfucking Spider-Man Spider-Man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg I’m very tired no man I’ll just talk about the facebook movie all day shit man you must be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched the year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man man he fucked over Spider-Man and crazy winkleboss twins rowing Trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented facebook I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook MARK ZUCKERBERG

I like how Arin Hanson’s quotes range from,

“Never stop drawing, the day you stop drawing is the day you die.”

to,

“Motherfucking Jessie Eisenberg Jesus Christ fuck dude Motherfucking Facebook movie bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit?

Goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss Twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man.

Motherfucking Spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg. I’m very tired.

No man I’ll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spiderman crazy Winklevoss Twins rowing trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don’t like dying I can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all I can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook?

MARK ZUCKERBERG”

I Write Sins Not Zuckerberg
  • I Write Sins Not Zuckerberg
  • Panic! At MARK ZUCKERGERG
  • A Fever You Can't Mark Out
Play

I Write Sins Not Zuckerbergs
-Panic at! MARK ZUCKERBERG feat. Game Grumps
A Fever You Can’t Mark Out, 2015

Insp. graphicalaces

8

Mark Zuckerberg and wife Priscilla Chan announced on Facebook today that they’re expecting. The exuberant responses were to be expected. Zuckerberg is, of course, one of the world’s most high-profile CEOs,

But the media forgot to ask the most important question! Can Zuck have it all?! … Oh, he can? Talk about a double standard.

Mark Zuckerberg (founder and CEO, Facebook): I was in my sophomore year at Harvard. It was 2003, which is the year that historians call The Dunce’s Millennium because the world was dark chaos. Everyone was running around with all of their secrets locked up in their brains. Nobody knew anybody’s favorite movies. Nobody knew what anybody else looked like in a bathing suit. I wanted to change that.

Eduardo Saverin (co-founder, Facebook): Mark and I were roommates at Harvard. He was a computer guy, and I was a money guy. I had 40 dollars.

Mark Zuckerberg: I knew that if I wanted to create the open and connected world of my dreams, I had to make a real impact, and the way to do that was to do what I did best: start a website that everyone wanted to look at and that would make people say, “Here’s the website.” This became my life’s goal. I had the computer skills, but I needed 40 dollars to make it happen. I called 911 and said, “This is Mark Zuckerberg. Who has 40 dollars?” and the police said, “Eduardo Saverin has 40 dollars.”

Eduardo Saverin: I had just won the Nobel Prize in Economics for having 40 dollars. All of a sudden, Mark bursts into the room and says, “Eduardo, I’ve gone insane with ambition. Let’s make the most popular website in the whole world.” So, Mark and I began making website after website in an attempt to become kings of the internet. There were some missteps at first.

Mark Zuckerberg: The first website we made was www.MakeMyNudesFight.com. The premise of the site was simple: A user uploads two photographs of themselves in the nude by cramming them backwards into their printer. At the MakeMyNudesFight headquarters, I receive your nudes and generate two 3D models based on your nudes. Then we have the two nude versions of you wrestle each other in a gorgeously rendered digital death match. Both nudes die. Every time. And that’s the MakeMyNudesFight.com Guarantee.

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  • What she says:I'm fine
  • What she means:Motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus christ fuck dude motherfucking Facebook movie bullshit jesus can you fucking believe this shit
  • Goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss Twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck i just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man
  • Motherfucking Spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking build shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg
  • No man i’ll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit i have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude i just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spiderman crazy Winklevoss Twins rowing trent resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook i don’t like dying i can’t think of who the fuck invented Facebook all i can think is the guy who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook
  • MARK ZUCKERBERG

Mark Zuckerberg’s baby announcement shows we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about miscarriage

On Friday, Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan announced on Facebook that they’re expecting their first child together. Beneath a sweet photo of the couple with their dog, the Facebook founder wrote an intensely personal note about the couple’s struggle to have children — with the purpose of dispelling the stigma.