mark kaplan

SIT THE FUCK DOWN BECAUSE I’M GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT DAVID ALLEYNE


Have you heard of him? Probably not, but I’m gonna give you fuckers a crash course on this sexy ass motherfucker real quick.

David was always pretty damn smart as a kid (like you probably when you were reading on a college level in elementary school or some shit), but when his mutation got kick started, HE GOT SMART AS HELL. AS IN HE WAS ABSORBING PEOPLE’S KNOWLEDGE RIGHT OUT OF THEIR FRIGGIN HEADS. HE GOT TO THE X INSTITUTE AND THEY GAVE HIM THE CODE NAME PRODIGY BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING BAMF.

SO, instead of being all cocky and douchey like I’m pretty sure I would be if I had just become a human search engine, HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE THAT HIS KNOWLEDGE IS LEGIT AND BECOMES A GENIUS IN HIS OWN RIGHT.

Flash forward and he’s been a member of the The New X-Men, the New Mutants, AND THE FUCKING YOUNG AVENGERS. He even got depowered by the Scarlet Witch on M-Day and still managed to be a fucking bad ass because realized that he could keep all the knowledge that he had absorbed and has a fucking SUPER BRAIN like PROFESSOR X AND THE BEAST.

Oh yeah, did I forget? HE’S OPENLY BISEXUAL. THAT’S RIGHT. EAT YOUR HEART OUT, FOLKS, AN OPENLY BISEXUAL BLACK MUTANT (he did kiss Hulking, though, scandalous)!

IN CONCLUSION, if you want a sexy, smart, bisexual, genius mutant to follow in Marvel comics, LOOK NO FURTHER BECAUSE THIS GUY IS ALL YOU NEED.

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Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (2012) #5 (of 9)

“And my power levels still haven’t recharged. So there’s no way I could’ve brought us back here.”

“Then who did?”

“Guys…?”

“I did.

This, of course, can only mean good things. 

But it is an excellent cliffhanger to keep us on board waiting for the next issue~ As well as the next Ramble. But before then… there’s something a bit different on the docket.

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Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (2012) #2 (of 9)

“If it’s a race you want, nephew…”

“Do I get a say in this?”

“…Then a race you shall have.”

“Yeah. I didn’t think so.”

“C’mon, Old Man, is that the best you’ve got?

And of course there is absolutely no way that this idea can end badly for anyone. 

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Someone’s been gun-running magical weapons into the Marvel Universe–and now SHIELD is under siege by a mysterious threat that can’t be catalogued or classified–and against which SHIELD’s super-science is useless! Guest-Starring Scarlet Witch!

SHIELD #5 preview (out April 29th) by Mark Waid & Mike Choi

BILLY! And also, Jennifer Kale!

Wanda is not in the preview, but she is in this issue. With Billy!

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Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (2012) #2 (of 9)

“We are not teaming up with Magneto.”

“I don’t recall inviting you, Patriot.”

“We’re a team. If you want me and Speed, you get the whole team.”

“I don’t recall volunteering, Billy.”

I love that the kids are cautious and wary beyond their years, it’s not only a commentary on how seriously they’ve taken the lessons they’ve learned since they formed, but also of their awareness of the risk in general. 

It’s also interesting that Tommy is the one who is quickest to give Magneto some room for negotiation here, not Billy. It really does show a foundation for more development in a relationship between the two of them that I wish we saw more of.

And finally, I just adore that exchange with Eli because it’s hilarious. 

youtube

Season 4 Trailer | Awkward. | Season 4 | MTV

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Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (2012) #1 (of 9)

“I go to all the trouble to rescue you, and you two are in here making out? You’re prisoners. Prisoner don’t stand around making out with each other. Do they?”

I love Tommy so much, even if it’d be nice to get a kiss after such a tender moment.

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2015 PGA Awards Nominees

The Darryl F. Zanuck Award for Outstanding Producer of Theatrical Motion Pictures:

  • American Sniper (Warner Bros. Pictures) - Producers: Bradley Cooper, p.g.a., Clint Eastwood, p.g.a., Andrew Lazar, p.g.a., Robert Lorenz, p.g.a., Peter Morgan, p.g.a.
  • Birdman (Fox Searchlight Pictures) - Producers: Alejandro G. Iñárritu, John Lesher, James W. Skotchdopole
  • Boyhood (IFC Films) - Producers: Richard Linklater, p.g.a., Cathleen Sutherland, p.g.a.
  • Foxcatcher (Sony Pictures Classics) - Producers: Megan Ellison, p.g.a., Jon Kilik, p.g.a., Bennett Miller, p.g.a.
  • Gone Girl (20th Century Fox) - Producer: Ceán Chaffin, p.g.a.
  • The Grand Budapest Hotel (Fox Searchlight Pictures) - Producers: Wes Anderson & Scott Rudin, Jeremy Dawson, Steven Rales
  • The Imitation Game (The Weinstein Company) - Producers: Nora Grossman, p.g.a., Ido Ostrowsky, p.g.a., Teddy Schwarzman, p.g.a.
  • Nightcrawler (Open Road Films) - Producers: Jennifer Fox, Tony Gilroy
  • The Theory of Everything (Focus Features) - Producers: Tim Bevan & Eric Fellner, Lisa Bruce, Anthony McCarten
  • Whiplash (Sony Pictures Classics) - Producers: Jason Blum, Helen Estabrook, David Lancaster

The Award for Outstanding Producer of Animated Theatrical Motion Pictures:

  • Big Hero 6 (Walt Disney Animation Studios) - Producer: Roy Conli, p.g.a.
  • The Book of Life (20th Century Fox) - Producers: Brad Booker, p.g.a., Guillermo del Toro, p.g.a.
  • The Boxtrolls (Focus Features) - Producers: David Bleiman Ichioka, p.g.a., Travis Knight, p.g.a.
  • How To Train Your Dragon 2 (20th Century Fox) - Producer: Bonnie Arnold, p.g.a.
  • The LEGO Movie (Warner Bros. Pictures) - Producer: Dan Lin

The Award for Outstanding Producer of Documentary Theatrical Motion Pictures:

  • The Green Prince (Music Box Films) - Producers: John Battsek, Simon Chinn, Nadav Schirman
  • Life Itself (Magnolia Pictures) - Producers: Garrett Basch, Steve James, Zak Piper
  • Merchants of Doubt (Sony Pictures Classics) - Producers: Robert Kenner, Melissa Robledo
  • Particle Fever (Abramorama/BOND 360) - Producers: David E. Kaplan, Mark A. Levinson, Andrea Miller, Carla Solomon
  • Virunga (Netflix) - Producers: Joanna Natasegara, Orlando von Einsiedel
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Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (2012) #4 (of 9)

“I’ve no grudge against you, Wiccan.”

“You know who I am?”

“Of course.”

“Doctor Doom knows who I am.”

Part of what makes Billy, and really all of the Young Avengers, so relatable is that like us they have grown up knowing these heroes and superheroes. So even when they’re not fanboys or fangirls in the likes of Wiccan or Kamala Khan, it’s very clear that their expectations for themselves and, in part, all superheroes, is derived from the familiarity they have with what a superhero has meant in the past. And I think that’s one of the potentials of an extended universe that companies still have only began to take grasp of, however fortunately or unfortunately. 

Also, well, if there’s one way to lose your superpowers why not to Doctor Doom punking you 

Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (2012) #1 (of 9)

Back when the Young Avengers was really taking off on tumblr a few years ago, I was a little confused on where they had come from. I was familiar with Young Justice over at DC but since I had been spending so much time with DC stuff it was like, to me, the Young Avengers just appeared out of the blue. 

So I didn’t know where to start to catch up so it was actually this limited series that was my first real introduction to the team. That might seem fairly random (and it is) but as such this story has kind of held a special  place for me as one of the reasons I began getting invested in Marvel again after years of having gone turncoat in aggravation and sticking with DC instead. 

But let’s talk about this cover: this is like, basically a movie poster. They could not fit more dynamic character poses into this if they tried. And while there’s definitely some math problems so far as even rep for girls and boys, I do like that Kate and Cassie get like actual poses instead of just busts out looking vaguely sexy. 

Wanda gets the short end of that particular stick. Her head’s not nearly as big and menacing looking as Steve and Tony’s!

Carol’s.. there. Much like her role in the comic itself. But we’ll get further into that.