In the French version of A heart full of love, Cosette asks Marius is he’s the prince she was waiting for, and if they wanted the play to be realistic, they’d stop the song at that point because Marius would be to busy butting his head against a tree and murmuring: “damn it damn it she wants a prince and I’m only a baron”.

Imagine Marius trying super hard to impress JVJ the first time he meets him and he’s just stumbling over his words and messing up and he’s just a massive bundle of nerves. And JVJ is there like “ yes hello I am the serious father” but like he’s just dying because oh my god bless this boy.

And then they have dinner and they go to say grace and JVJ is like

“Our father who art in heaven

thank you for blessing us with this food

And Lord, if you’re listening, let Marius Pontmercy know that he is welcome in my house and to my family and that the plate he accidentally broke that Cosette sneakily cleared away was an ugly plate and I’m glad it is broken.”

And anyways he can no longer keep a straight face and he bursts out laughing, followed not long after by Cosette and Marius feels like he could cry from relief and he’s so happy.

I mean I love the fact that “I’m sorry Victor Hugo” is a popular tag on AO3 but let’s be real, we don’t need to apologise for anything, if Good Old Kinkshame-Deserving Vicky was alive today he would read every smutty fanfic with Great Enjoyment and would be the top author