mario hacks

anonymous asked:

RFA + V + Saeran playing Mario Kart!?!? gimme the angst

holy shit anon u know whats up

Jaehee

  • “Jaehee, we bought that Wii three years ago and we only use it for Netflix. We’re completely neglecting this poor thing.”
  • later in the week when you go to the store, you stop by the game shop too and look at the pre-owned games
  • you came home with Mario Kart and Wii Sports Resort
  • after dinner, you convince her to play some Mario Kart
  • she is so upset that you’ve beaten her all but two games
  • this girl is just like coffee she’s so bitter
  • she knows if you let her win, so you’re stuck beating her
  • “Hey, we’ve been playing for like five hours now. We should probably sleep. We can play more in the morning.” You tell her as you pry the wiimote from her hands
  • after 20 minutes of bickering and “I will go to bed after I redeem myself,” you finally convince her to just go to sleep with you
  • around 4am, you roll over and realize that Jaehee isn’t in bed with you
  • “she must be in the bathroom”
  • the lights are off in the bathroom and you figure she probably isn’t peeing in the dark
  • when you walk out of the bedroom, you hear that music
  • the music that will probably haunt you for the rest of your life
  • “Jaehee it’s 4 in the morning and you’re playing rainbow road are you kidding me”
  • “I’ve almost beat everyone else on medium difficulty!”
  • you walk to the wii and unplug it from the wall
  • “Babe you need to sleep, this isn’t healthy.”
  • basically, she gets pretty upset and you don’t want to get your ass kicked by your girlfriend
  • you eject the disk and get in the car and leave
  • You sleep in the gamestop parking lot for another couple hours and beg them to let you return the game
  • after explaining, the manager takes pity on you and lets you exchange it
  • you buy animal crossing instead and decide to let Jaehee use your old DS
  • she just needs a peaceful game without Waluigi in it

707

  • you should have known
  • you fool
  • you bought the man Mario Kart for Christmas and you really thought things would end okay
  • “MC I SEE THAT BLUE SHELL I SWEAR IF YOU USE IT-”
  • you used the blue shell
  • he was about to win the game but there’s absolutely no recovering from a blue shell when it’s a tight race
  • he dropped the remote and just walked out the front door without saying anything
  • he just kinda sprawled out on the ground outside and screamed
  • when you came out to make sure he was okay, he got up and went inside
  • he locked you out and changed the security gate’s settings
  • you sat outside for a good hour yelling at the house, basically begging for forgiveness
  • when he came out, he apologized for locking you out, then challenged you to another round
  • HE HACKED IT
  • HE HACKED MARIO KART
  • HOW?
  • NOBODY KNOWS
  • WHY?
  • GOOD QUESTION
  • literally every power up that he got came right for you
  • you’re still insanely bitter
  • you probably could benefit from couple’s therapy at this point
  • you’re hung up on how he’s a sore loser and he’s hung up on… being a sore loser
  • you guys don’t play Mario Kart anymore because it just makes life easier if you avoid it

Jumin

  • “What on earth is Mario Kart?”
  • “So… It’s like driving? But? Without any actual dangers? Okay let’s buy it.”
  • you knew damn well what you were getting yourself into
  • but you just had to fucking do it
  • you cackled like a witch the whole time you were setting it up
  • when you called him out to tell him it was set up, you couldn’t stop laughing
  • “Why are you laughing?”
  • oh bby you’ll find out
  • you let him have the big remote and turn on the motion controls so he has to drive like a real car
  • he couldn’t stay on the path
  • “Jumin we’re going at the lowest speed possible. Just take it slow. Baby steps, hon.”
  • he tried to steer his kart with his entire body
  • at one point, he jumped up and put the remote above his head and started bringing it aroooooound town
  • you were laughing so damn hard that he actually beat you
  • you were literally laying on the floor crying and he didn’t understand?
  • why???
  • why were you crying?
  • rainbow road was a freaking blast
  • you still don’t know if it was out of his own frustration towards the game or if it was because he thought you were crying over the game, but after a few hours,
  • he yanked the entire console from the wall
  • and just
  • he went out onto the balcony
  • and threw it
  • you don’t try to get him involved with current technology anymore

Yoosung

  • you stop by a garage sale one Saturday on your way back from class and they’re giving away their old gamecube and some games
  • $15 console and $5 games? Don’t mind if u do
  • you pick up Mario Kart, Super Mario Sunshine, Wind Waker, and Smash Bros. Melee
  • “YOOSUNG BABE GUESS WHAT I BOUGHT”
  • “oh no”
  • ‘”IT’S A GAMECUBE”
  • “oH YES”
  • you sort of stash Sunshine and Wind Waker away for yourself to play when he’s playing LOLOL
  • you two immediately go for Melee, which lasted like three hours
  • there was almost constant screaming and cursing
  • but also a lot of laughing, so at least there was that
  • the neighbors probably filed a report about that
  • after taking a break to lay on the floor and get some water, you pop in Mario Kart
  • the neighbors thought you were bad earlier…
  • the screaming gets louder and the cursing got more frequent
  • “MC I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME”
  • “I DO LOVE YOU. I JUST ALSO LOVE KICKING YOUR ASS”
  • the two of you lasted maybe twenty minutes
  • any bonding done during Melee was completely undone
  • Yoosung demanded that you take the game back to where you bought it from
  • “Yoosung a garage sale isn’t going to give me a refund.”
  • “They don’t need to give you a refund. They just need to take this terrible game back.”
  • You wrestled for the disc and ended up in the kitchen
  • he pinned you against the counter next to the sink
  • HE THREW THE DISC DOWN THE SINK
  • “YOOSUNG WHAT THE HELL”
  • THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
  • he turned on the garbage disposal
  • rest in fucking pieces Mario Kart

Zen

  • he just barges in one day after work with a wii in his arms
  • “MC YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT ONE OF MY CASTMATES WANTED TO THROW OUT”
  • “I think I might be able to…..”
  • when you guys sat down to play, you were both vaguely confused
  • “okay but how am I supposed to hold it”
  • “it says to tilt right IM TILTING RIGHT WHY AM I GOING LEFT
  • “where is the gas pedal”
  • rainbow road is never good for anything
  • “wHY do you have so many RED SHEEEEEELSSSAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • y’all left the window open and the fish buns guy heard the screaming
  • he offered you free buns so that you could offer them to Zen as an apology
  • he accepted, but then felt bad because you felt like you had to apologize
  • he apologized
  • after some makeup kisses, you immediately unplugged the wii and put it back in it’s respective box.
  • that wasn’t enough, so you wrote “CURSED” on a piece of paper and taped it to the box
  • Zen said he’d go offer it to someone else at work
  • actually…..
  • you go outside and ask the fish shaped bun man if he would like a wii
  • the fish shaped bun man has a wii at home now and everyone should be happy for him

V

  • The man is blind
  • All is right in the mushroom kingdom and also V has been driving into the same wall since the game started


Saeran

  • you hijack Seven’s WiiU just so that you can show this poor boy the wonders of Mario Kart
  • “why are they letting babies drive motorcycles?”
  • he’s so fascinated by the concept of babies driving that he ends up playing as Baby Peach
  • you play as Baby Mario for aesthetic purposes
  • he pauses the game because the boy forgets to breathe 
  • “Saeran, if this is too intense-”
  • “nO IM FINE LETS GO”
  • every time he falls off the edge of the map, he lets out an assortment of sighs and other noises of that sort
  • “okay, I think I’m finally getting the hang offfffffffFFFFFUUUUUUUCCK”
  • after the first round is over, he calmly places the controller on the seat next to him and stands up
  • he stands up and screams softy
  • “okay let’s try that again”
  • with each round, he gets a little more audible
  • by round 6, he’s yelling 
  • this poor kid hates Luigi
  • “LUIGI DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH”
  • every single time Luigi passes him, he screams
  • he thinks that if he plays as Luigi it’ll make him both a better player and also less angry
  • he just ends up hating himself
  • “MC this isn’t fun.”
  • you give Seven his WiiU back and never ask to touch it again

Happy birthday to Cory Arcangel! For Super Mario Clouds (2002), Arcangel hacked into and modified a cartridge of Super Mario Bros., the blockbuster Nintendo video game released in the U.S. in 1985. By tweaking the game’s code, the artist erased all of the sound and visual elements except for the iconic fluffy white clouds that scroll endlessly across a bright blue sky.

[Installation view of America Is Hard to See (Whitney Museum of American Art, New York, May 1-September 27, 2015). Photography by Ronald Amstutz]

youtube

That was fast. Odyssey gameplay in SM64.

youtube

You know, it kinda makes me happy that somebody created a video on how to create a Creepypasta-type sinister-used-Paper-Mario-cartrige without hacking using solely their knowlege of glitches in the game…

Also @furbearingbrick, @bogleech, look

71 Things Tony Stark is Not Allowed To Do.

1. Tony is not allowed to refer to his lab as his Evil Science Lair, and then yell, “MUA! HA! HA! HA!” It makes people nervous.

2. Tony is not allowed to Photoshop Thor’s head to L'Oreal’s ‘you’re worth it’ advertisement, and then have it plastered on billboards all over the city.

3. Even if Thor thinks it’s funny.

4. Especially if Loki thinks it’s funny.

5. Tony is not allowed to eat the Red, White and Blue Turbo Rocket popsicle in front of Steve

6. Especially when there are other people present.

7. Even if it makes Steve throw him over his ridiculously big shoulders and run to their bedroom.

8. It grosses Clint out.

9. Who then proceeds to complain endlessly to Natasha about “why can’t those two keep their hands off each other for just five seconds? Do you know the time when I caught them doing - ?”

10. Natasha really, really doesn’t like Clint complaining.

11. Or the unwanted information about Tony and Steve’s sex lives.

12. Tony is not allowed to refer to himself as The Beauty, and Bruce as The Beast.

13. It’s insensitive (according to Pepper)

14. Plus, it makes Steve jealous for some reason.

15. Tony is not allowed to refer to himself as the salt to Pepper’s…well, pepper. That joke is getting older than Steve.

16. See number 14 again.

17. Tony is not allowed to tell new employees at Stark Tower that J.A.R.V.I.S is “the voice of God. Oh my God, you can hear it too??

18. Tony is not allowed to bribe The New York Times into printing a public service announcement stating that Justin Hammer has herpes.

19. Tony is not allowed to play the theme song from Psycho every time Nick Fury walk into the room.

20. And then scream like Janet Leigh.

21. Tony is not allowed to permit Dummy to leave the Lab. Ever.

22. Tony is not allowed to refer to the hickeys on Clint’s skin as the real Widow’s Bite.

23. Tony is not allowed to scream “IT’S ALIVE!!” every time Coulson walk into the room.

24. And then jump into Steve’s arms.

25. Tony is not allowed to stick a note on the back of Steve’s jacket saying: property of Tony Stark. If found, please return to Stark Tower, whenever Steve goes out on his own.

26. And then proceed to hack into the city’s CCTV cameras to “make sure Steve’s not being molested by little old ladies.”

27. Tony is not allowed to anger Bruce just so he can get piggy back rides from the Hulk.

28. The property damage is getting ridiculous.

29. Tony is not allowed to challenge Thor to a pop-tart eating contest. Thor on a sugar rush is a public hazard.

30. Tony, along with Clint, is not allowed to throw spit balls from the vents at the new interns in the R&D department and call it 'positive interaction.’

31. Tony is not allowed to randomly kidnap Skye in order to lure her to the 'awesomeness that is Tony Stark and Bruce Banner: Science Bros Extraordinaire.’

32. It upsets Coulson.

33. No matter how cool he thinks she is.

34. Tony is not allowed to send Loki books and/or pamphlets on adoption.

35. Or single parenthood.

36. Tony is not allowed to distribute fake wedding invitations at S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters celebrating the upcoming nuptials of Nick Fury and Maria Hill.

37. It makes Hill trigger happy.

38. No one wants that. No one.

39. Tony is not allowed to install a DDR machine in the Tower and then force new employees to compete as part of the 'initiation process.’

40. Tony is not allowed to introduce Darcy to others as his 'long lost illegitimate daughter.’

41. And then sic Dummy lose on any guy who comes near her.

42. Tony is not allowed to hack into Mario Kart so that only he can win.

43. It leads to bloodshed.

44. The laundry guys are getting really tired of all the blood stains they have to get rid of.

45. Tony is not allowed to give Steve a strip tease in the communal lounge.

46. Nobody except Steve wants to see him in a Captain America catsuit.

47. Tony is not allowed to ask Steve to “draw me like one of your French girls.”

48. And then get naked.

49. No matter where he is.

50. Tony is not allowed to buy The Dodgers for Steve every time their anniversary comes around.

51. Tony is not allowed to dye all of Clint’s clothes purple.

52. And then proclaim loudly to everyone that the colour purple represents sexual frustration.

53. Tony is not allowed to send assassins after General Ross.

54. Even if Natasha and Clint offer.

55. Tony is not allowed to ask Natasha to start playing with her knives every time an intern or a new Tower employee walks past her.

56. And then smile at them while doing so.

57. Tony is not allowed to start a paint gun war between the Avengers.

58. That has the potential to bring about the Apocalypse.

59. Tony is not allowed to ask Loki what gender he is.

60. Tony is not allowed to scream “blasphemy!” and then cross himself whenever he sees someone holding an Apple product.

61. Or Microsoft.

62. And then burn it to the ground and call it an exorcism.

63. Tony is not allowed to write 'for a good time, call…’ on the walls of all of New York’s public restrooms and attach Clint’s mobile number next to it.

64. Tony is not allowed to seduce Steve anywhere on the Helicarrier, or S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters.

65. And then have unnecessarily loud and noisy sex.

66. Many S.H.I.E.L.D Agents already have PTSD. They don’t need the added trauma.

67. Tony is not allowed to drench Wanda in 'holy water’ while screaming “Witch! Fiend! Demon!” at her.

68. Tony is not allowed to refer to himself in the third person.

69. Tony is not allowed to send death threats to Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat to force them to “make Sherlock season 4 happen. Now.

70. Tony is not allowed to tell Pepper that “the only way I’ll attend any of those mind numbingly boring galas is if you convince Angelina Jolie to be my date.”

71. Visit number 14 again. Seriously, Steve is a jealous and possessive person. Get that through your thick head.


(You can also find me on Ao3)