marcokiko

I'm sturdy

I had foreseen this event a few weeks back. I knew this would happen. I bursted out because I’m full. My heart doesn’t understand the feeling of being left out, rattled, rotted with broken promises. I looked you straight in the eye the day you begged for us enrolling. For the sake of what you said, I gave in. To keep this relationship going, I believed you. But every time you disregard me, I continue to face the fact that you’re no longer someone to believe to.

I was lax, but now I have to be rigid, firm and sturdy. I have to set limits. Sometimes it’s painful, but I had loved you since the day I met you.

The secret for long relationships is not having a perfect and harmonious love affair. It is not how less often you fight, not because of the number of similarities and the stuffs you both like doing together nor the number of mistakes you did. Those things count but it is the faith that keeps you going. A relationship would last if both of you are willing not to give up, if both of you is willing to stand up and still try every time one of you or both of you fall. You should not lose hope when you are struck with problems along the way. Give each other hope and hold on as long as you can.
I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.
—  Jonathan Safran Foer
When I’m with you, I act different. In a good way of course. I smile more and laugh more. I don’t have to pretend everything is okay when it’s really not. With you, I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. I don’t feel hurt and alone when I’m with you. Instead, i feel safe and loved. You’re easy to talk to, and you listen to me. I don’t have to worry about holding back with you. I don’t feel self conscious. I don’t ever feel insecure or sad. You show me that you really do care, and you’re not just pretending. I really appreciate your company, because with you I’m different. With you, I’m happy.
I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother; for those were some of the best times of my life.
How I Know I Love You

I know I love you because I want to get you soup when you’re sick. Not only do I want to get it for you, I want to make it for you so you can eat something made with love instead of with crushed insects and preservatives. I know I love you because I want to slap anyone who hurts you, even if it’s your boss. I want to hold you when you’re having a nightmare and kiss the spot that hurts when you bump into something. I know I love you because I want you to be healthy even when you’re not sick, and that’s why I keep bugging you to change your crappy eating ways even though I know you’re over hearing about it.

I know I love you because I worry about the stuff only people who love you worry about, like the amount of quality sleep you get a night and how much you drink when you’re sad and whether you’re getting enough vitamin B. Like probably more than your mom does, I’m not sure she especially cares about vitamin B. I know I love you because I freak out when you’re obviously disintegrating yet too stubborn and too “I’m fine” to actually go to the doctor, even though I do that sort of thing myself.

I know I love you because I think you’re beautiful even when you’re not. And I don’t mean good-looking, I mean beautiful, beautiful like there’s something pervasive and magnetic about you that comes through even when you look positively bad. I think you’re beautiful even when you’re hungover and puking your guts out, covered in hives, or when half your face is purple and swollen because you decided to cosplay Fight Club and punched yourself in the eye too hard. I know I love you because I think you’re beautiful even when you’re wearing Crocs and that’s no small accomplishment.

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When I’m with you, I act different. In a good way of course. I smile more and laugh more. I don’t have to pretend everything is okay when it’s really not. With you, I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. I don’t feel hurt and alone when I’m with you. Instead, i feel safe and loved. You’re easy to talk to, and you listen to me. I don’t have to worry about holding back with you. I don’t feel self conscious. I don’t ever feel insecure or sad. You show me that you really do care, and you’re not just pretending. I really appreciate your company, because with you I’m different. With you, I’m happy.
The way you make me feel is like smelling fresh grass or being in the back of a convertible under the stars. Or returning home from a long trip or just driving with no destination in the summer. It’s that feeling you get when you hear your family laugh together. It’s like when you’re outside on a hot summer day and you have a cold glass of water or when you talk to an old friend after a month or two, yet the two of you are still as close as ever. It’s like the feeling you get when you hear your favorite childhood song on the radio for the first time in years, you turn it up and feel so alive. Or lying in bed watching a snow storm, knowing you don’t have to get up for hours and just lay in the warmth of your comforters for hours. It’s the way your stomach flip flops during your first kiss, or how your body feel when you take off in an airplane for the first time. Or when you drive around in the front seat of a car that belongs to the boy you like and even though you should feel scared beyond control because he’s driving so fast and stupid, you feel save and alive. Yeah, that feeling. The way you make me feel, feels good to me.