marching band jokes

Band instruments as things I've heard them say
  • Piccolo: .... (I don't think I've ever heard them speak. Thinks they're better than everyone and doesn't talk to other band kids)
  • Flute: guess what 'band director' said about 'piccolo'
  • Oboe: *quietly playing a solo, very concentrated*
  • Bassoon: *squeak*
  • Clarinet: we're gonna play those two notes ff instead of p so it sounds like 'DOOT DOOT' wanna help
  • Bass clarinet: I don't think I play here
  • Alto saxophone: I can fit my whole mouthpiece down my throat I'll show you
  • Tenor saxophone: we either play 4 half notes the entire song...or constant 32nd notes....I don't understand
  • Bari saxophone: so do I do sectionals with the trombones, or...?
  • Trombones: *screams into instrument*
  • Tuba: why am I even here
  • French horn: (secluded, doesn't speak much. Very put together. Know what they're doing)
  • Trumpet: *clearly plays wrong note* that wasn't me
  • Percussion: *screaming* RATCHET SUPREMACY
Great Ways to Ask Out a Girl

•Will you be in a duet with me?
•Will you be the harmony to my melody?
•Will you blow my horn?
•Wanna learn some new fingerings?
•Will you be the drum to my major?
•Wanna get picco-low?
•Will you be my first chair?

•Will you be the major to my minor?