marching trumpet

Dear kids that are starting band for the first time.

Instruments don’t have gender. If you are a boy and you want to play flute. Do it. If you are a girl and you want to play tuba. Do it. No one can tell you that since you are a boy you have to play saxophone, trumpet or another instrument like that. Or since you are a girl you have to play flute, clarinet or some instrument like that. Play whatever you want to. No one can tell you other wise.

Band instruments as things I've heard them say
  • Piccolo: .... (I don't think I've ever heard them speak. Thinks they're better than everyone and doesn't talk to other band kids)
  • Flute: guess what 'band director' said about 'piccolo'
  • Oboe: *quietly playing a solo, very concentrated*
  • Bassoon: *squeak*
  • Clarinet: we're gonna play those two notes ff instead of p so it sounds like 'DOOT DOOT' wanna help
  • Bass clarinet: I don't think I play here
  • Alto saxophone: I can fit my whole mouthpiece down my throat I'll show you
  • Tenor saxophone: we either play 4 half notes the entire song...or constant 32nd notes....I don't understand
  • Bari saxophone: so do I do sectionals with the trombones, or...?
  • Trombones: *screams into instrument*
  • Tuba: why am I even here
  • French horn: (secluded, doesn't speak much. Very put together. Know what they're doing)
  • Trumpet: *clearly plays wrong note* that wasn't me
  • Percussion: *screaming* RATCHET SUPREMACY
my opinions on the instruments since you guys are asking (reblog and add yours!!1!)

french horn: honestly so pure. i always think of Dvorak’s 9th when i hear them and u g h y e a s

tuba: my bias here should be obvious

euphonium / baritone: honestly they’re so pretty and cute and nice to listen to. basically improved versions of tubas (sorry @me)

flute: pretty but anyone who can play them is clearly dabbling in dark magic

mellophone: i haven’t met one but i really like their sound. its so nice and… not to be redundant but mellow

trumpet: tbh i could listen to trumpets all day. even beginning players sound amazing to me

trombone: i always listen to the trombones when i’m confused on my part, so they’re sort of my anchor. thanks frens 

piccolo: similar to flutes but the notes are even prettier and the players are using even more dark magic

saxophone: honestly saxophones=awesome jazz to me, and i love jazz, so 

clarinet: they sound like the ethereal wood fairy version of flutes (im not sure why i think this). there’s a really good clarinet player at our school so i always think of their solos when clarinets get brought up

oboe: like clarinets but more flute and less wood fairy

bassoon: oboes but stronger

percussion: thank you kind friends for keeping the beat when i am too lazy to count

piano: probably the very purest musical insturment

viola: like with french horns i always think of Dvorak and how awesome y'all’s parts are in his stuff

violin: amazing but also definitely dark magic

cello: i live to listen to cello solos. (also just Dvorak in general, but the two are intertwined)

bass: you’re the string version of me. i respect you

tl;dr I REALLY LIKE CLASSICAL MUSIC

The Instruments As Shit My Extended Family Did Over Thanksgiving
  • flutes: spilled red wine all over the tan carpet
  • clarinets: spent 95% of the time playing pokémon sun
  • saxophones: viciously heckled anyone playing mariokart if they were not in first
  • trumpets: wore a bluetooth headset constantly despite never using it
  • horns: took a generous sip of scotch besides being generously pregnant
  • trombones: brought up politics™
  • baritones: claimed more alcohol made him better at mariokart; was correct
  • tubas: guilt tripped everyone into watching college sportsball
  • percussion: made a disturbingly convincing case for my weird uncle being a former government spy
Instruments as sayings from our band director
  • Flute: if I kill you, will you be more in tune?
  • Clarinet: If I had a dollar for every time the second chair clarinet squeaks in rehearsal, I would be God
  • Saxophone: Do you know what a C# is? I feel like I'm talking to a hedgehog
  • Trombone: Oh, you messed up that chord. What if I messed up your grade for this class?
  • Trumpet: If only our band was as big as a trumpet's ego
  • French Horn: Why can't you just pay attention? I'm a pretty person, that should be enough
  • Percussion: I could replace you with monkeys and I would get the same quality of music, but more entertainment
  • Guitar: You belong in a baguette shop
Instruments as flutes see them
  • Piccolo: annoying little sibling in instrument form
  • Flute: God's gift to band
  • Clarinet: squeaky lil wood sticks
  • Saxophone: sound good until you talk to the person playing them
  • Oboe: better when they're not there so we can play their solos
  • Bassoon: some sort of strange mythical creature
  • Trumpet: I guess they're ok but couldn't they just... Play quieter??
  • Horn: nearly perfect. restores our faith in the brass section
  • Trombone: just kidding about that faith in the brass section
  • Euphonium: smol tuba
  • Tuba: I don't know, they're too far back for me to see one
  • Percussion: just stop ok
The Instruments As Shit My Band Members Pulled On The Disney Trip
  • piccolos: ate a flower off a bush in the line for splash mountain on a dare
  • flutes: pretended little sister was invisible for entire week
  • clarinets: got separated from girlfriend on bus for pda...ten minutes into the trip
  • saxophones: put hands up on space mountain despite warnings and smashed them on a beam
  • trumpets: overslept and had to be picked up at house the morning we left
  • mellophones: pet a pelican on beach and got bitten, continued to attempt to pet random birds the rest of the week
  • trombones: started sobbing hysterically at the end of back to the future
  • baritones: tried to bring a pair of pliers into the parks, got them through animal kingdom but they got taken away at epcot
  • tubas: found a coconut lying on the beach, then smashed it open and ate it
  • pit percussion: brought a logging chain on the bus and pulled it out to slam it on the seats as accompaniment to the songs in movies
  • drum line: reached back to hold girlfriend's hand on splash mountain but grabbed the chaperone's instead...and didn't notice for almost five minutes
  • color guard: left out the emergency door of a mcdonald's which summoned the police and set off the alarm
  • drum majors: climbed up into luggage compartment of bus and crawled down it through everyone's carry on bags
  • Me: *watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade* WHOA LOOK MARCHING BAND THATS GREAT I LOVE BAND I WANNA GO THERE OOOOOOOOO
  • TV: The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Is Brought To You By...
  • Me: Aaaaaand it's gone