march 30th!!!

dear a, who is sad,

I was also sad like you a few months ago. I tried to kill myself on the 30th of march. I hadn’t gone for my license, I was doing badly at college, and a whole bunch of stuff made me feel more and more empty that the apathy towards doing anything like you have turned into the need to stop being anything.

things aren’t good still, I’m not gonna lie. but I sought out services that were more than suicide hotlines. I had no help from friends and family, but a couple of professionals (who I had to find after trying several other services) helped me find things to fill my days with until they were tolerable again.

it’s ok not to be able to talk. I’m still working on rebuilding the relationships I fucked up because of my trust issues. it’s ok to try different mental health professionals and different services for help at the moment. it’s ok to be lost. it’s ok not to be able to do things you can’t do because you’re in a bad way. just don’t give up until you’ve exhausted every single option, whether those are weeks, months or years from now.

you will be ok. there’s no magical bright side immediately and things don’t just Get Better™ in a short time. but I can promise you that for every few days you feel like you should have died, there will be a day where you’re glad you hadn’t.

keep sending these letters. god knows I might not be here if I hadn’t kept writing them.

hang in there.

with love and well wishes,

dead girl walking

To whoever falls in love with me,

I promise to fall so insanely hard for you. I promise to love you top to bottom, inside and out. I promise listen to you and care for you greater than anyone ever has. I promise to be the shoulder you cry on and the person to make you laugh. I promise to lift you up on days you feel you can’t get out of bed. And if you still can’t get out of bed I will lay with you. I promise to do everything in my power to make sure you don’t ever doubt my love for you. I just ask for a few things in return. Be patient with me. I’m a little hard to handle sometimes and I apologize in advance. Sometimes I just get sad and I don’t know why. Just hold me and tell me you love me, I’ll come back around I promise. I can be needy so please don’t leave me hanging for hours because I’ll wonder if I said or did anything wrong. Just let me know you’ll be busy and I’ll be perfectly okay. I get anxious. A lot. A majority of the time I don’t know why so please understand that. Listen to me. If you show me you listen I swear it’ll only make me fall for you even more. I’m not the easiest person to be with but I love harder than anyone I’ve ever come across.

—  I promise you won’t regret falling for me just like I won’t regret falling for you (March 30th 10:11pm)
4

☆*:.。. 30th March // Thursday // 三月三十日 // 목요일.。.:*☆

i originally meant for this post to be my 1000th post oops though bc it was close to that number :0 maybe i’ll delete a few posts just so i can make it the 1000th one aha
(ノ´ヮ`)ノ*: ・゚
but anyway this was from my recent bujo spread from the 11th to the 16th!!!ft smol hobi (one of my favourite pictures of him actually)
(♡˙︶˙♡).。 o♡

plus two photos of some sakura trees and daisies i think???i’m sure about the sakuras but not sure about the daisies lmao idk what they are they look like daisies i guess but the point is that i took these photos when i went sakura viewing lmao

i’ve actually already posted this photo on my studygram, so follow me at mochi.studies if you want slightly earlier and a bit more regular posting (sometimes) !!

待會兒見ヾ(=`ω´=)ノ”

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Never Good Enough

Originally posted by deangifsdaily

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word count: 736
Warnings: Angst

Part 1 of Last Chance


“Hey, babe?” You smiled, walking into the library where Dean was on his laptop. “I made you something to eat.” It was just about lunch time, and wanted to surprise him. Setting the plate down, you hoped that he enjoyed what you made.

His green eyes darted to the plate for a moment before looking back to whatever he was doing. “You use that mustard I like?” He asked simply.

“Yup!” You told him, glad that you had remembered.

“Not bloody, right?”

You shook your head. “No, I’ve gotten pretty good at that. I’ve worked it out to timing it perfectly.” As of late, you hadn’t had any issues with the burgers you made coming out too raw for anyone. “Seasoned the burger with salt and pepper while it cooked, as well.” That was something that you’d learned damn quick to do, as it brought out more flavor.

Turning to head back to the kitchen to clean up, you smiled as Dean picked up his burger and took a bite. “Awe, come on.” He groaned, getting up to walk past you. “Barely any mustard, none of my damn pickles, and could have been cooked a couple minutes longer.”

You let out a soft sigh, hoping that you could do something else to make it up to him.

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