dear a, who is sad,
I was also sad like you a few months ago. I tried to kill myself on the 30th of march. I hadn’t gone for my license, I was doing badly at college, and a whole bunch of stuff made me feel more and more empty that the apathy towards doing anything like you have turned into the need to stop being anything.
things aren’t good still, I’m not gonna lie. but I sought out services that were more than suicide hotlines. I had no help from friends and family, but a couple of professionals (who I had to find after trying several other services) helped me find things to fill my days with until they were tolerable again.
it’s ok not to be able to talk. I’m still working on rebuilding the relationships I fucked up because of my trust issues. it’s ok to try different mental health professionals and different services for help at the moment. it’s ok to be lost. it’s ok not to be able to do things you can’t do because you’re in a bad way. just don’t give up until you’ve exhausted every single option, whether those are weeks, months or years from now.
you will be ok. there’s no magical bright side immediately and things don’t just Get Better™ in a short time. but I can promise you that for every few days you feel like you should have died, there will be a day where you’re glad you hadn’t.
keep sending these letters. god knows I might not be here if I hadn’t kept writing them.
hang in there.
with love and well wishes,
dead girl walking