to contribute to the ‘humans are weird’ posts...

Okay, but what about marathons tho. Humans are built to follow animals on foot. Until the animal literally gives up and dies. That’s how we hunt. We’re not super fast or claw-y or bite-y. we just keep running. Forever

Imagine aliens finding out about marathons. Aliens who are stealth predators or evolved from sedentary species learning that humans just straight up run their prey to death. 

Alien Wimu: Human Nik, I have been watching this hologram for several ngu’la. What are these humans doing?
Human Nik: Oh, wow, that’s the Olympics! It’s a competition where humans see who is the best at various physical tasks. This is the marathon, I think? 
Alien Wiro: We have tests of physical prowess on Mngumu as well. But I have been watching for several ngu’la and these humans have been running the entire time. I am concerned. Are they well? Has something gone wrong with the event? Is something chasing them? 
Human Nik: Nope, that’s the event! It’s actually really cool. A long time ago, this human ran – a bunch of kilometers? Something like 40, I think – because he was carrying a message to a place called Marathon from … someplace in Greece because of a war or something. He died I think. Anyway, now a lot of people do it! I actually ran a half-marathon for charity once. It was pretty grueling but it felt really good.
Alien Wiro: …I’m sorry, but I believe you said 40 kilometers. That is equivalent to roughly 349 shmo! 
Human Nik: Yeah, that sounds about right. 
Alien Wiro: And you said the original person died?
Human Nik: Well, I think. But like I said we train for it now. It’s not so bad, really. 
Alien Wiro: … 
Human Nik: Anyway, thanks for showing me! It’s really easy to lose track of time up here, wow. Had no idea the Olympics were happening. 
Alien Wiro:


byebyebriar  asked:

MC is pinned and only way to get free is to cut off her hand. Her only goal is to get to a meeting and deliver a message to stop a war. Said meeting is a 2-3 hour journey on foot away. Since she doesn't care about infection/nerve damage, would the quickest way to get moving again be to burn the wound close or attempt to bind it one-handed?


Anonymous said:
Is it realistic for a normal human to be able to carry something heavy after losing a major limb? Say, they just lost their arm but have to carry their buddy (who is about their body weight) only wise they will die.

(I want to ask what a “minor limb” might be, but this blog isn’t marked as NSFW and I don’t wanna start now…..)

Hey there humans! Let’s talk ampumutations. 

Amputations take a lot out of a person, even disregarding the circumstances surrounding them. In one case we have presented, a character decides to amputate her own hand (or to have someone do it to her); the mental energy and the pain is downright exhausting. This is just as bad as an amputation from some unexpected circumstances like a battle. 

Next comes blood loss. Hemorrhage is a major complication of amputation, and a field amputation is an especially bloody proposition. 

In all cases, the best answer is “tourniquet before the amputation” (when it’s possible). This will preserve circulating volume, which will allow them to do as much as they can after the amputation. 

Cauterization will take far longer than placing a tourniquet before the amputation and bandaging the stump. Something has to heat up the blade before it’s applied to the skin, and the potential passing-out afterwards isn’t so convenient on a time front. 

Can it be done? Sure. Is it a good idea? No, but people do strange things when they think they’ll miss their One Goal™ – or they haven’t been trained otherwise. 

In other words: an it harm not the realism, do what ye will. 

Capabilities Immediately After 

Between blood loss and emotional trauma, I have significant doubts about anyone’s ability to do great feats of heroism after an amputation. 

As for carrying a battle buddy, the answer is probably not. It’s difficult enough to carry someone with two arms; with one amputated (and no time to adapt), carrying the buddy is just not likely. 

As for traveling a few miles to a meeting, I might believe that, if only because a hand amputation is less likely to cause severe bleeding than a whole arm amputation, and because it’s the character’s choice (and thus she can prevent blood loss as she goes). 

However, what I would believe and what audiences would believe are two different things. I wouldn’t throw either book across the room as long as the hero essentially collapses at the end of their Heroic Feat™. 

Before You Go: A Small History Lesson

By the way, do you know why we run marathons as a sport? Gather round, kids. Wind back the clock to 490 B.C.. Pheidippedes is a warrior in the Athenian army. When the Athenians defeat the invading Persians on the shores of Marathon, he makes a run back to Athens to carry news of the victory – a full 26.2 miles of running.

Pheidippedes delivers his message of glorious victory, breathless and panting – and drops dead of exhaustion. (Probably rhabdomyolysis, actually.) 

We run marathons because some dude died of them. Humans: perpetually Doing the Dumb for +- 300,000 years. 

I hope this helped both of you, or was at least marginally interesting. 

xoxo, Aunt Scripty


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Astronaut and United States Navy officer Sunita Williams holds the record for spacewalks by a woman, as well as the record for most spacewalk time by a woman. She has been on a total of seven spacewalks, which combine to add up to 50 hours and 40 minutes overall.

In April 2007, Williams became the first person to run a marathon while in orbit, finishing the Boston marathon in four hours and 24 minutes. Five years later, she would become the first person to complete a triathlon in space, utilizing the International Space Station’s treadmill, stationary bike and Advanced Resistive Exercise Device (for simulated swimming) to finish the Nautica Malibu Triathlon with a time of one hour, 48 minutes and 33 seconds.

Williams had previously set the record for longest single flight by a woman with 195 days, logged from 2006-2007 on Expedition 14/Expedition 15 to the International Space Station. However, her record was broken as of this year by Italian astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti. She has, overall, spent a total of 321 days, 17 hours and 15 minutes in space, placing second to only Peggy Whitson for most time spent in space by a woman.

To add to her impressive list of achievements, Williams became the commander of the International Space Station in September 2012 - the second woman in history to earn this title. She also follows the late Kalpana Chawla as the second Indian-American woman to travel in space.

why i should be your best friend
  • we can sing crappy duets together
  • i will bring you food when ur not happy
  • you will be the attractive friend
  • i eat more than you so you will feel better when eating a lot
  • at 3am we can talk about deep shit
  • disney marathons
  • stupid puns
  • if you haven’t read harry potter i will make you read harry potter and then we will have long conversations about all the characters and relationships
  • i have an unlimited amount of knock knock jokes
  • i have pineapple socks
When you’re on that course and want to give up, think about all the times you kept going. Not just in running, but all those times you were strong in life. When you hugged your crying friend, when you grabbed your mom’s shaking hand, when you decided to keep living. Let those moments of pure strength rush through your blood until you realize you are indeed strong enough to beat this course. Because you are strong, no matter what anyone thinks.