Ok, so one of my favourite hilariously stupid products is back on the shelves. It clearly deserves to be mocked, but I’m alone in the house this evening, so it’s you lucky bunch who get to hear about the latest in incredibly insecure bathtime implements.
It’s made by Lynx (because of course it is), and it’s essentially one of those little sponge things made from netting. You know, like this:
That actually looks pretty cool, right? Like some kind of ethereal deep sea creature or something. You can almost picture it floating serenely through the depths, glowing gently. Anyway, Lynx says nah.
The first thing you’d notice about their product is that the little string handle thing was clearly deemed too wimpy by a test
group of men with astoundingly tiny genitals. This thing’s got a sleek,
menacing plastic grip modelled on something that James Bond would disarm with
only seconds to spare.
The second thing you’d notice is that the whole thing’s jet black. Presumably to give off the impression that you also use it to scrub down engine parts.
But the most notable feature of this overpriced sack of desperately nervous testosterone is the name. It’s called the manwasher. The fucking manwasher. Take a second to sit there and just think about how many people must have been involved in greenlighting that name.
Even by the impressive standards of unnecessarily gendered products, this thing is a hilarious mess, and its mere existence means no-one should ever pay Lynx for anything ever again, except for as a joke gift. Which to be fair, the manwasher would be excellent for.
(Edited since the original post came across as too angry and not enough tongue-in-cheek. My bad. That said, the manwasher’s still ridiculous.)