“Don’t forget to floss every day”, “It’s never too early to invest in a personal IRA”, “Start building credit as early as possible”, “Stand up for yourself - don’t let anyone disrespect you”, “Everyone needs to know how to use power tools”, “Don’t trust anyone who likes their meat well done”, “LaserDisc is clearly the superior digital video format”, “Drink a full glass of water in the morning to help wake up”, “Don’t use metal utensils on nonstick frying pans”, “If you’re parking uphill, be sure to turn your tires toward the street”, “It’s rude to ask people about their mysterious hand tattoos”, “Moving Pictures is hands down the best Rush album”, “Buy quality, not quantity”, “Shave with the grain”, “You always have time for a beer with your buds”, “Always use a coat of wax after a wash”, “Nothing can beat reading in print”, “Always carry a pocket knife”, “Use your hips when throwing”, “Keep your word”, “Eat a lot of broccoli”, “Drinking too much water can cause water intoxication”, “Take care of your health while you’re still young”, “Always help a friend in need”, “Drink plenty of water”, “Exercise regularly and you’ll stay healthy!”, “Don’t eat too close to your bedtime”, “Always check the card reader at ATMs before you swipe”, “Medicine is not always the best medicine”, “Always bring a war chest”, “You’re young, you have your health, now is the time to take risks”, “You can’t beat the whammy bar”, “The solo from Kid Charlemagne is the greatest guitar solo ever recorded”, “Peter Weller actually has a PHD in history”, “It’s called masking tape for a reason”, “Trust no one”, “If you press the ignition too long you’ll just flood the engine”, “The extended cut is the only cut worth watching”, “They really stepped up the production value in Episode V”, “Managing debt is just part of being an adult”, “Run through the finish line”, “What you do, when you don’t have to, will determine where you’ll be when you can’t help it”, “When lifting weights, use proper form and a full range of motion”, “Gas is cheaper in the suburbs”, “Do what you love and the money will come”, “Do it once, do it right”, “Don’t skip the corners”, “Eat plenty of carbs the night before a big game”, “If the police are driving behind you, don’t give them probable cause to pull you over”, “Try to drive in a way where you never have to use your brakes”, “You can save bookmarks directly to your desktop”, “A bird in the hand is better than a bird in the eye”, “Pet every dog”, “Have you ever read Rich Dad Poor Dad?”, “Liquor before beef, you’re in the clear”, “Go ask your mother”, “If life gives you lemons, parsley, onion, and eggs… make a really nice omelet”, “Practice makes permanent”, “First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairiest chest”, “Never give up, never remember”, “That quirky lab assistant from NCIS just reminds me of you”, “Whistle while you work”, “Please remember to call us once in while”, “Get whatever job you want, just make sure it includes health insurance”, “Grow your own vegetables. It’s cheaper, I think”, “It’s okay if you don’t come in first, just make sure you have health insurance”, “Try to exercise regularly”, “Sleep is important! Make sure you’re getting enough”, “It’s okay to cry if you’re feeling sad”, “Make sure to sweep under your tent so you don’t sleep on rocks”, “Good tire pressure is essential to optimal mileage”, “The only acceptable time and place for decaf coffee is never and in the trash”, “When changing a tire, make sure to tighten the bolts in a starfish pattern”, “Anyone who tells you that a drink isn’t manly has never known heartache”, “Call someone if you’re thinking about them. They probably want to hear from you”, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, “Don’t smoke”, “Try not to make assumptions about people”, “Don’t trust gas station egg sandwiches”, “Please don’t pirate games”, “It’s better to be early than late”, “Eat a balance meal everyday that includes vegetables, fruit and proteins”, “Minimize eating fried foods, candy, and sweets”, “Treat people better than they treat you”, “Be generous and kind to everyone”, “Always try your best at everything”, “Spend less money than you make”, “Pay your bills early”, “Look at situations positively”, “Always try to make others around you happy”, “Smile as often as you can, it will make others around you feel more comfortable”, “You’re never too busy or important to be kind to others”
Take a shot if…
- the age difference or underage tag is present
- female bff/quirky subordinate Tina
- “Mr. Graves”
- Graves takes a drink of whiskey/ bourbon/ or any other manly hot dude drink
- Graves is just… so damn conflicted about sleeping with Credence but he does it anyway
-“oh you no majs are still doing that whole homophobia thing? How quaint.”
-based on a Halsey song
Finish your drink ….
- Daddy kink
- “dead dove: do not eat”/“don’t like don’t read”
- lots of shaking and whimpering from credence cause he’s a Virgin™ y'all
-Newt is barely mentioned or not in the story at all
I realize when I google “gifts for dads” I’m not inviting the most personalized and nuanced of results, but like surely we as a culture can invent more dad interests than grilling, shaving, and manly drinking
Vic will get drunk off of a few sips of shitty beer. Wine? Drunk. Wine coolers? Drunk. If he has three shots of vodka he’s walking parallel to the floor. He’s a very flirty drunk, and any kind of inhibitions he had before are so gone. He prefers to drink things that taste good, because he’s going to get drunk regardless so he might as well enjoy it.
Belch has the highest alcohol tolerance. He could sit there and drink 90 proof alcohol nonstop for an hour and still only feel buzzed. He prefers mixed drinks, if only because they taste better and he sees no point in trying to get drunk. The one time he did try, he just ended up in the hospital. He’s still a quiet drunk, but he gets giggly and happy and will spew poetry to everything.
Henry does his best not to drink often, because his dad Knows, and if he does, it’s usually just shitty beer. When he really drinks, though, he ends up a very bipolar drunk. He can go from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds and tends to rant and rave. The only thing that can calm him down is someone (usually Vic) sitting on him and playing with his hair. It helps keep him calm. He prefers to drink Manly Things like straight brandy or vodka, even if he hates the taste/burn.
Patrick is a fairly calm drunk, even if his brain to mouth filter is waaaaaay more fried than usual. He gets cuddly and handsier than usual and will hold someone in his lap and just kind of grind on them for hours. Sometimes he drinks so much he can’t even get hard, but he still tries. He prefers to mix things like peppermint schnapps with soda, because mint soda is the bomb.
Plot: You and Heechul get drunk at a members party and kiss
Pairing: Heechul x Reader
Words count: 1,5k+
Genre: Comedy, slight smut
For anon, I hope you like it!
Gif isn’t mine, credits to the owner!
‘Do I have to go?’ You whined, ‘I don’t even know anyone !’
‘Well you know Teukie?’ Your best friend chuckled.
You rolled your eyes at her, ‘Because he is your boyfriend not because he is my friend.’
‘Stop being a spoilt sport,’ She scolded, ‘It’s a party. There will be other people there and you know the members so why are you complaining?’
‘Greeaaattt, another long night with Yesung’s turtle talk, Shindong going off about food and Heechul being obnoxious.’ You faked enthusiasm.
‘SEE! You do know some people and plus you like them anyway.’ She stifled a little laugh, ‘Come on, lets get going.’
Tonight was Leeteuk’s birthday and you were invited. You didn’t know if you were invited as a guest or over the fact that your best friend was dating him. Getting in the car, you both drove to the club that was hosting this grand party. Their was music blaring out as security allowed people in who were meant to be their and chased away those who weren’t. Smiling at the large gentleman, you both walked in.
‘I’m gonna find Teuk.’ You heard Hyerim scream in your ear, just nodding you walked to the bar and ordered a light drink.
‘I never knew you drank?’ A voice asked.
‘Well now you do,’ You stated, ‘Hey Heechul.’
‘A whiskey neat please.’ The elder asked the bartender.
‘Oooo manly drink.’ You teased.
‘The music is giving me a headache,’ He was handed the drink before gesturing to it, ‘This helps drown out the pain. Cheers.’
‘Cheers.’ You both clinked your glasses and took a sip of your poisons.
‘OPPA!’ A shout came and Taeyeon came bouncing in, ‘Come dance with me!’
‘I’m bus-’ Before he could finish the sentence, he was whisked away.
Shaking your head with a laugh, you grabbed your glass and went to find Hyerim. Walking up and flight of stairs, you entered a lounge that over looked the entire dance floor and seemed to block off the music to a bearable thump. Leeteuk sat on the couch surrounded with friends and Hyerim under his arm.
‘I was wondering where you were.’ Leeteuk smiled, ‘You drink?’
‘Do you and Heechul practice the same lines or something?’ You asked with a raised brow, ‘And happy birthday by the way.’
‘Thank you Y/N-ah. Where is Chul anyway?’
‘Taeyeon took him to dance.’
‘Heechul hyung is dancing?!’ Shindong looked over the railing, ‘I gotta see this! Let’s go Yesung!’
The turtle man and food lover ran down the stairs to see their friend move to the loud music. Heechul was a great dancer, the only down fall was his injury that caused him to not be as active as the others. Practice made perfect, but to much practice caused him more pain then good. You sat next to Hyerim as you sipped your drink out of boredom. Another and another was added to the count, before you wanted something new to drink. Some guys spoke to you but you weren’t interested. You recognised them to be idols as well but their conversations lacked in entertainment. Standing up, you steadied yourself.
‘Anyone want another drink?’ You asked, but got no reply ‘No one? Okay then.’
‘Slow down and take it easy, okay?’ Hyerim asked, ‘You know you get drunk quick.’
‘Aish,’ You threw off her hold, ‘You just have fun here with your boyfriend and not worry about me Rim-ah.’
Holding the railings, you walked down the stairs. Pushing through the crowds, you eventually got to the bar and took a seat. The bartender took your order as you rested your elbows on the counter and your chin atop your open palms. Your head was slightly dizzy but you enjoyed the feeling for some odd reason. A person plopped next to you and you smiled.
‘Enjoying your dance?’ You asked, taking the drink from the bartender.
‘Whiskey neat, sir?’ The man asked.
‘And make it a double.’ Heechul instructed.
‘Taeyeon that tiring?’ You chuckled.
‘Exhausting. She has so much energy and this is like my fifth neat.’ He sighed.
‘Or you just old and probably drunk.’
‘Ha-ha-ha, very funny.’
‘Fuck, dance with me!’
Before you knew what was happening, Heechul pulled you by the wrist and into the crowd of people that took up residence on the large open space. The floor was large but the number of people made it look and feel small and you squish against his chest and he looked down at you, hand still holding your wrist.
‘Dance before she finds me.’ He pleaded.
‘I’m not much of a dance-’
Rolling your eyes you began to sway your hips from side to side. You were right, you weren’t much much of a dancer but you did have some pretty good rhyme to help you along the beats. Heechul looked at you in shock but placed his hands on your hips. Your head was a fuzzy as the music that was blaring out the large speakers that you didn’t notice how close you were to Kim Heechul. People around you jumped and bumped you, that you were practically against him.
He himself seemed drunk from the number of drinks he had downs. He wore a pair of black fitting pants with a white t-shirt and black blazer to give it a formal sort of look. His hair was tied up in a loose bun and a few stands lingered around his alluring face. You would be lying if you didn’t find Heechul attractive. His face was just so different to all the men you had seen out their. He had a quality that was enticing but something you would never admit to. You felt his grip on your waist tighten as your hands snaked up to rest around his neck.
‘You are a liar.’ You felt his hot breath in you ear.
‘Why?’ You shuddered.
‘You say you can’t dance but your body states otherwise.’ He purred.
‘Well I am drunk.’ You giggle.
‘Really?’ You nodded, ‘Great, cause so am I!’
You turned around with his body pressed against your back as you both rocked to the music. Your head spun around in circles in the same rhythm as your hips moved against his lower body. Heechul placed his head in the crook of your neck as your hands snaked up and stroked the hair at the nape of his neck. You felt him place soft kissed on the side of your neck as your eyes closed slowly. Alcohol pulsed through both of your veins as he turned you around and placed a plush kiss on your lips. Logic would tell you to break apart but the alcohol spoke otherwise. The large wave of people hide you both from the scanning eye. Pulling apart, you both looked at each other.
You gently took his face in your hands as his one arm wrapped around your waist tighter. Inching close, you rubbed your noses together before placing a sweet peck on his lips to have him pull your lips back with a firm hand behind your head. Slowly yours lips moulded together, heads tilted to the side as his tongue brushed over your lower lip asking for entrance. Smiling against his perfect lips, you opened your mouth and allowed his strong muscle to slip in. Sensually your tongues fell into a rhythmic dance.
‘Wanna get outta here?’ He whispered.
‘I thought you would never ask’ You teased as he took a hold of your hand and pulled you through the mob of people.
Your head spun as you both entered a bathroom and locked the door. Public low clubs had grimy bathroom with profanities sprayed all over the wall and a intoxicated girl throwing up in the nearest toilet. But this club was high class with clean bathrooms that shimmered. Heechul slammed you into the nearest wall and claimed your swollen lips once again. He lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, causing you dress to rise up slightly. Your body was supported against the wall as you fingers tangled in Heechul’s locks.
Rubbing your thumb over his cheek bone, your lips left his lips and kissed the corner of his mouth. Next you peppered kiss on his jawline before eventually falling on his tender neck. Softly you nipped and kissed the soft flesh as he threw his head back and released an open mouth groan. Caught up in the moment, you sucked harder as a disgruntle moan left his lips. You felt him getting hard against you as your hips grinded against him. Pulling you head up, he pulled you in for another deep kiss before tilting your head dup and ravishing your throat with hot kiss and hard nips and sucks. Kissing up your jawline, he held the side of your face with one hand while the other had a secure hold on you body.
If it took Mor 400 years to convince Azriel to come out to Rita’s with the Inner Circle, what was he doing before?
Bc it’s super sad to picture him just sitting at the House of Wind, all alone, going through Spy Reports or something, but also was he the Squad Dad? Like, waiting up for everyone and tucking them into bed and leaving water and idk fae aspirin on the nightstands?
Azriel helping Rhys stumble to bed while he’s singing something unintelligible and low-key thinks he’s still out at Rita’s
Azriel dragging Cassian to bed while he’s wide awake and bouncing off the walls (bc we all know Cassian doesn’t drink, like, “manly” drinks, but the super sugary fruity ones with cherries and little umbrellas), knowing that the energy crash is coming and–whomp, there it is, Cassian’s collapsed in the hallway and Squad Dad Azriel has to drag the drunk, unconscious labrador up into his bed
Azriel helping Mor get out of her shoes and checking on her later, making sure she has water and fae aspirin and that the curtains are drawn so the morning sun doesn’t wake her up too harshly (but we know he full on takes the curtains off the windows in Rhys’ room, just for shits and gigs)
And somehow, every time, Amren is already in her room by the time he’s finished with the others? Like, he knocks and pokes his head in and asks if she needs anything, and ofc she’s not hammered so she lets him in and gossips about their whole night even though she saw his shadows lingering at Rita’s so she knows he saw some of it, but i just need more AzxAmren brotp in my life so let’s pretend that she did it to make sure he felt included until he was ready to join them okay
Just Squad Dad Azriel, my dudes. Squad Dad Azriel.