maniac depressive

SONJA's PERSPECTIVE

although i love evak as much as all fandom does i have to admit that sonja is one of the most tough human being on skam and with her point of view all situations from season 3 are just unfunny cabaret

just have a look:

  • she was with even for like 4 years
  • she was cheated a couple of times
  • she was with even when his anxiety has begun for the first time
  • that means she was with him while every maniac and depression episode since 2013
  • she forgave him being cheated with Mikael and Isak
  • she was with him when balloon squad treated even bad and when he almost commit a suicide
  • even lashed out against her around their friends because she cared about him and didn’t want him to drink ‘cause he was on the pills
  • even after break up was mean for her although she only wanted to know is he okay ‘don’t talk with sonja. she wants to control you’
  • when she made sure that isak really loves even and will take care of him she just let him go
  • she was sceptical about isak because was scared that even will be treated as it once was (rejected by Mikael)

and the most important i guess

  • after being abandoned by even in so cruel way she arrived in middle of the night (!) after isak’s telephone to take this situation down because a ‘new lover of her ex’ couldn’t deal with it

perspective in skam is everything

Precognition (Pt. II)

Tyler Joseph Series

Part I

Summary: Tyler Joseph, a man with a phenomenal life anyone could ever wish for, has been frequently dreaming of an unfamiliar twelve year old girl. A pigment of his imagination, that unintentionally sabotages his ability to tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

Words: 1,808

Warnings: Bipolar behaviour, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt

Originally posted by 21pilotsgifs

“Honey, you‘ll have to talk about it sooner or later!“ Jenna calls desperately after her daughter.

Ignoring her mother, the girl storms up the stairs and locks herself inside her room, leaving the parents with their own torment. As soon as the door slams shut, the tears that have been welled up behind her eyelids, slip down her cheeks without resistance. She begins to cry as if her brain is being shredded in millions pieces from the inside. Emotional pain is flowing out of her every pore. Her violent shaking cause her to hit the ground and from her eyes comes a thicker flow of tears, than she had cried for her whole life. Leaning her back against the door, she could hear the sound of heart aching sobs, coming from the woman who gave birth to her thirteen years ago, and the soothing words escaping her father‘s mouth as an attempt to comfort his wife, but the interlaced agony could be ignored.  

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Gemini: High Vs. Low Functioning

Every sign has the potential for greatness or weakness. Depending on where we are on our journey, we move between low and high functioning. No matter where you are now- we all have the ability to reach ‘the high’ :)

Even if you don’t have a Gemini Sun, If you have any kind of significant Gemini influence, this may be applicable.

High: Balanced, sociable, and adaptable. A high-functioning Gemini is a catalyst for building bridges between ideas and people. They are highly expressive, yet fully objective. They are able to see the truth in all things without becoming attached to view points. They are charismatic, self-confident individuals who easily befriend any and all. They are able to make everyone feel heard and understood without judgment. Their quick wit and cleverness coupled with their creativity and intellect, makes them natural idea-generators. They can calm their mind and nerves and are able to feel their emotions without rationalizing them.. They have a breezy temperament that is cheerful to be around.  They are very versatile individuals who can relate and communicate to any person.

Moderate: They have an insatiable curiosity to understand the world and create connections. They have a fun sense of humor and are talented conversationalists. Their minds are quick and intelligent, hence they have unique multitasking abilities They are open to new experiences and can have a bright presence. They desire to learn all perspectives, yet may argue that their perspective is best. They can be emotionally detached and try to intellectualize emotions. Flirtation, unreliability, childishness, and commitment phobia patterns may be seen. They may be overly anxious and jumpy, as well as moody. Sarcasm and superficiality may be seen. There may be sneaky and devious patterns.

Low: Hysterical, cruel, manipulative.  Close-minded and rationalize everything: even emotions and relationships. Obsessions may occur. May cheat or become involved with many people at once. Hypocritical: does things that they scold others for doing. Sharp tongued and easily disturbed. Chances of nervous disorders and anxiety become high. Become overly impulsive and lack perserverance. OCD and maniac depression patterns may emerge. There may be tendencies to inflict pain on one’s self.

Sick

My least favorite time is when I am sick
When I lay in bed and do nothing
My brain is not compelled to think or to do
That is when the thoughts return
The thoughts that are hushed when I am busy
When the night falls quiet, my war has begun
My brain recalls every fuck up, every mess up
Choosing the top ten to replay as a gag reel
But there are so many
The judges had a hard time choosing
Tonight is a special, let’s play all of them
Panic, anxiety and depression taking notes
Arguing over which memory
Will be stored as a trigger
Which insecurity will we obsess over this week
Weight?
Mindset?
Pointless comments made in the past week?
Oh the options are plentiful, Bountiful
Shit.
Panic taking 3rd shift.
Waking up to panic attacks.
Sleepless nights
More pointless comments
All being plastered on the fridge like parents
Do with their kids’ art work
But mine is a wall of shame.
The wheel of insecurities is spun
Let’s talking about weight.
Every roll, every jiggle. Every misplaced
Pound of fat.
The sad songs keep me from the kitchen.
Keep me thin.
Blast them. Make me deaf I don’t care
Just make me thin
Make me beautiful.
Make me happy.

Written by me, freetheaglets, please do not take my stuff

Aurora Borealis, 00:57

Because apparently, Even thinks it is a good idea to walk four kilometers into the forest in the middle of the night just to watch the stars, and because Isak is such a good boyfriend, he follows him. And the stars are pretty good too, so are the kisses as well, and the aurora borealis is just a bonus.


He has snow everywhere. 

Sure, living in a country with stunning nature has it’s perks, but this, wandering in a forest in the middle of a night (seriously, what is the clock and how long had they been walking?) with snow up over his knees isn’t a perk. It’s a fucking nightmare.

Especially after he’d fallen down after tripping on the hidden ice underneath the layer of white, powdery and oh so treacherous snow. Thanks to that, melted snow is now running down of his back and legs, fuck it, he even has it in his boxers.

Which, he soon comes to terms with, isn’t very pleasant at all.

It is cold as well, so fucking cold. The military green jacket, thick and warm, is doing a horrible job at keeping the warmth and his shoes are way too shaggy for long walks. His ears are hidden under his beanie, but the tip of his nose is blushed in a warm shade of red (so fucking adorable, as Even had said it when he leaned forward in a quick kiss) and so are his cheeks as well. 

At least his oh so stupid boyfriend is happy. Maybe a little maniac, for even if it’s more… Controlled now, it’s still a hell of a ride to hang out with Even. Up and down in a rollercoaster Isak never wants to step out of. 

It’s amazing. Even if it’s cold, even if he has melted snow in his boxers, he still won’t hesitate to follow his maybe more and less crazy boyfriend and man of his dreams out into the forest at midnight. Love, it’s called. Love. Which is even more crazy, because when did this happen? When did Isak, of all people, fall in love in one of the world’s most hopeless romantics?

”Slow down”, he complains because seriously, after three kilometers in a snowy forest without any lights beside from the stars, he’s getting tired and his legs is aching and —

”I didn’t take you for a pussy.”


”I’m a dick, according to ’you are what you eat.’”

He can hear how the taller man laughs and even if it’s dark, he can see it in front of him; how his far too pretty boyfriend closes his eyes, how the skin around his eyes wrinkles, laugh wrinkles, how his oh so pretty lips, full and kissable, is forming a laugh sweeter than most symphonies… 

So yeah, Isak may have tendencies to act foolish but god damn, he has all right to do so; he’s in love, remember? And yes, therefor, he can describe his beautiful partner with dreamy adjectives without being a lovesick fool. (He totally is.)

”Seriously, another gay joke?”, Even does manage to get something out from his moth other than pure laughter. Which is, according to how hard he is laughing, an amazing prestation. 

Isak rolls his eyes. ”Ugh, yes, because I’m in the middle of the forest and I’m freezing my dick off and to quote Eskild; ’It would be a shame if you freeze your dick of when you’re finally getting to use it’, which I can agree with.”

Another laugh.

Jævlar, they have been together for almost a year now and Isak still gets all warmed up inside when he makes Even laugh.

It’s well-needed, he realizes every time he hears that wonderful laugh, because then he can remember it when even a minute feels like an eternity. Then, he can replay the laugh in his mind like it’s a silly love song (which, in some way, it actually is) during eternity long minutes when Even’s mind is closed off and nothing but silence exists in their universe.

Alone in cosmos, floating of, disappearing in black holes and other mysteries of the metaphysics.

It’s harder than Isak thought it would be. Not in a way that makes him want to give up; but it’s pure torture to watch his beloved suffer from his inner demons and not being able to scare of the twisted depression that follows the the maniac periods bittersweet intensity. 

Thank god, there is fewer maniac periods because pills are taken and obviously Isak supports helps, but they do appear. 

Yet they’re going to make this, something Isak doesn’t doubt about anymore. He did at first, when he was far too confused to think rational, and so scared. Scared of the monster, disguised as bipolarity, that seemed to rip their relationship apart. 

But Even is not a fuck up. He isn’t someone, or something, who can get fixed. This is him, maniac and depressions and NAS songs and sweet sketches and joints in the window frames and soft lips and hot kisses in swimmingpools and fuck it, Isak loves it all. Unconditionally.

”Are we there yet?”

”I swear to god, if you’re going to ask me that one more time, I’m going to push you down in the snow…”

”You won’t. Because you love me.”

”Me, loving you? Hah, that joke was good, Isak!”


”Fuck off. Maybe I’m going to shove you down in the snow instead.”

”Oh, I love when you take control, baby.”

All Isak can do is to groan.

But they do reach their destination. After proximately seventy minutes of cold snow inside of his clothes and bad jokes, they’re standing on a small peak (Isak totally missed out that they were going upwards) with an admirable view over the horizon and tree tops dusted in snow and the star of the show, the sky, with millions of stars shining far, far away.

”What do you think Isak och Even is doing in another universe?”, Even gazes him after he’d looked at the stars. 

”Buying yellow curtains”, Isak answers and takes his sight off the stars and instead watches the other man. ”At IKEA. In the middle of the night.”

Even smiles, ”Sounds more exciting than freezing your dick off just to watch the stars.”

”Nah, this is pretty good too.” Isak takes a step closer to his boyfriend and buries his head in his neck, placing soft kisses on the thin skin. 

For just a moment, all they do is sharing kisses. Maybe because both of them are cold and want to keep the warmth up, or because they’re simply two lovebirds who can’t keep their hands of each other. 

Isak sends a thankful thought that they’re alone, without any squad teasing or whistling, because the kiss combined with the peaceful silence of the nature is off the charts.

He wants to stay like this forever; lips against Even’s, surrounded by stars and dazzled by the black holes and galaxies in the other man’s eyes, captured in this breathtaking moment. It’s pure, it’s fantastic, and Isak will be forever grateful for experiencing this. This, this love and happiness, he never thought himself to witness. And yet here he stands, kissing another male, his boyfriend, the man in his life and of his dreams, with addictive happiness rushing trough his veins.

Suddenly, the kissing stops and the man of his dreams is instead watching the sky over them.


”Look at that!”

And even if Even is far more beautiful to watch than a sky full of stars, Isak does look upwards and is greeted by a sky filled with dancing colors.

It’s… It’s beautiful.

Indescribable beautiful. Just like Even. 

Isak has never seen northern lights before. Not like this. The stunning phenomena is dancing over the sky in front of them, lightning up the dark winter night with soft green and red shades. 

Because of the beautiful show of colors, Isak totally looses his conception of time. It’s not until Even is placing a soft kiss on his blushed cheek that he returns back to reality.

”This wasn’t a stupid idea, right?”, Even says while hugging Isaks shoulders, dragging the teenager closer.

”More like a cliché. Kissing my boyfriend under northern lights. It can just as well be a movie.”

”I like that idea. That’s why I dragged your ass up here.”

Turns out, as Isak realizes, being hopelessly in love with a hopeless romantic isn’t that bad though.

Aquarius: High Vs. Low Functioning

Every sign has the potential for greatness or weakness. Depending on where we are on our journey, we move between low and high functioning. No matter where you are now- we all have the ability to reach ‘the high’ :)

Even if you don’t have a Aquarius Sun, If you have any kind of significant Aquarius influence, this may be applicable.

High: Innovative, determined, friendly. A high-functioning Aquarius is able to be an eccentric leader who brings positive impact and change into the world. They represent freedom, humanitarianism, self-control, and open arms. They use their quick minds to create ideas and help the world. They feel deeply connected to their surroundings and grounded in the present. They become visionaries that pioneer towards the future. They inspire others with their open-minded ambition and ability to discover, understand, and create. They are able to keep commitments and are incredibly loyal in their own right.

Moderate: They have a deep desire to make a change in the world. They want to collect information, learn, and influence the world in a positive way. They are social, and probably well liked. They desire to improve themselves and to explore the world. They want to bring acceptance into the world. May become stubborn and claim that they are open-minded, even though they reject other opinions. May detach from reality a bit and not consider the feelings of the environment. May try to prove their natural intelligence and quirkiness. May have trouble committing and be extra flirtatious. May be rebellious or questioning.

Low: Complete detachment from the physical world, all connections and commitments are cut. Devalue others and themselves. Become nihilistic. May cheat or become poly-amorous. Feel attacked by any suggestion-rebel against society. Complete cynics. Feel helpless and useless to society. May become maniac-depressive and develop schizophrenic overtones.  

Brother Marvinus, the maniacally depressed Dark Angel

“I didn’t ask to be made: no one consulted me or considered my feelings in the matter. I don’t think it even occurred to them that I might have feelings. After I was made, I was left in a dark room for six months… and me with this terrible itch in all the plugs down my black carapace. I called for succour in my loneliness, but did anyone come? Did they hell. My first and only true friend was a small rat. One day it crawled into a cavity in my right shoulder armour and died. I habe a horrible feeling it’s still there…”

I think that Will uses medical terms to insult people because normally he believes that someones health condition should not define them, and is very careful about it in his language, such as when he treats “a person with maniac depression“ not “maniac depressive”.

Unless that person pisses him off, in which case he switches right to “Fight me, you anemic loser.”

anonymous asked:

For those of you wondering about Nochang - - he dated a model, Jinkyung for a while(not confirmed tho). He's also bipolar and says he went to the hospital bcs of schizophrenia(not sure if he has it or just went to get checked up?) But he's really a sweetheart he cried bcs he had to give up a beat he liked very much so Black nut could use it (higher than e-sens track) and he yelled at him lmao

i’m not sure whether he has schizophrenia, but he has a bipolar/maniac-depressive disorder.
here’s the interview where he talks about it, if anyone is interested:

Part 1 | Part 2 

trans cr: swagiri 

it’s a really good interview and if you’re a nochang fan i highly recommend reading it. it reveals a lot about himself, but it will also break your heart.