“Where’re we at?” Lisa asked coming into the kitchen and handing Riley a paper bag.
“Invitations have been ordered,” Riley said checking that item off her list. “Ooo, food!” Riley clutched the bag to her heart. “Is there enough time between the invitations going out next week and the time of the wedding?”
“You don’t have to do this now, but I’d do it sooner rather than later,” Lisa said.
Riley was confused and peeked into the bag, frowning. “Not food,” she pouted, “Wait, is that what I think it is? Lisa, I’m not pregnant.”
“Don’t argue with me, Riley Marie. I’ve been pregnant four times. Carly’s been pregnant three times. That’s seven pregnancies I’ve been a part of. Take the test.” Lisa patted Riley’s hand.
“Lisa, I’m on birth control. There’s no way I’m pregnant.” Riley put a hand on her hip.
“Trust me, hon. A mother knows these things. And unless you used condoms over Christmas, which I doubt you did, antibiotics make birth control ineffective.” Lisa smiled. “And yes, it’s February so there is plenty of time between the invitations being sent out and the wedding. Okay, so what else do we have to get done?”
“Um…” Riley trailed off trying to ignore what Lisa said. “The invitations will have a blonde instead of a red head. Wedding colors are purple and teal.”
“That’ll be pretty,” Lisa replied.
“Chris and I will go cake tasting later this week.” Riley was having a hard time concentrating.
“Decorations?” Lisa asked.
“A few Disney things, nothing much,” Riley shrugged, still holding the paper bag.
“You going to hold that all night or…” Lisa trailed off.
“Okay, fine. I’ll take the stupid test, but only to prove you wrong. I love you, Lisa, and I hate to disappoint you, but I’m not pregnant.” Riley smirked.
Interviewer: You’ve been vocal about having a favorite child. Who is it?
Riley: Chris, by far.
Riley: He can walk. he can talk, he’s potty trained, he sleeps through the night, he can feed himself, he can even make his own food sometimes. Plus, when he’s cranky, you put a Disney movie on and give him a Lego set; you don’t have to worry about him for hours.
Chris: You’re not wrong. And I like it when you tuck me in, too, reading me smutty bedtime stories.
“How’re you doing today? Get any sleep?” Chris asked Madison later that afternoon. He’d slept like a rock, but he was concerned she hadn’t been able to sleep after her scare with Grace so he’d called to check up on her.
“Well, I got woke up with People’s Elbow to the forehead so that’s how my day is going,” she chuffed.
“Ah, the old wrestling videos,” Chris said.
“The Rock is her favorite,” Madison replied.
“She’s got good taste at least.”
“I wish I could argue that especially after the way she woke me up but he’s one of my favorite actors so…”
“Hey!” Chris cried, mock offended.
“I said one of my favorites, not my favorite. Calm those patriotic pecs.”
Chris threw his head back and laughed. “Patriotic pecs, huh?”
“Little ears and all that. I had to think quick.” She smiled. “And you do love the Patriots.”
“That I do,” Chris couldn’t stop smiling. Scott had gone over to Chris’s apartment to hang out, but he couldn’t help notice that his brother was acting flitterpated.
“Good since I’m taking her to an Italian place. Should I bring flowers?”
“Lilies are her favorite but not the orange ones. She hates the orange ones. And no roses, she says they smell like dookie.” Eli counseled.
“No roses,” Chris chuckled. “What else?”
“Hold doors, girls love it when you hold doors.”
“If I didn’t my mom would yell at me,” Chris replied.
“That’s what my mom says, too.” Eli shrugged. “Are you going to kiss her?”
Chris scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t know, buddy. Let’s just see how the night goes.”
“Chicken,” Eli shook his head. “Kiss her.”
“Some chicks aren’t into that on the first date.” Chris replied.
“You’re Captain America. Trust me, she’ll be into it.”
“How’d you get so smart about this?” Chris asked.
“Soaps,” Eli shrugged. Chris laughed but it also made him sad. This poor kid was learning about love while stuck in a hospital when he should be outside running and playing with kids his own age; girls should have cooties at this point in his life.
“Okay, I gotta get going. I’ve got some things to take care of before the big date.” Chris stood up.
“Poker rematch next time,” Eli challenged.
“You cheat,” Chris shot back.
“Do not! Hey, Chris?”
“Kiss dee girl,” he said in his best Sebastian impression.
Chris shook his head and gave Eli one last wave goodbye.