One of my history professors is this scarily intense German guy, and today we were talking about the peer reviewing process and how vicious some academics can get, so I casually asked him what the worst review he’d ever received was.

He became very stony-faced, looked off into the distance and said, completely deadpan and in his thick accent:

“It does not matter. They are dead now.”

I think my professor has killed a man.

Continuing my Adventure Zone art shenanigans, because you all had such a lovely response to my Taako design!  I know I said I was going to draw Angus next, but when I sat down to sketch last night I had a song in my heart.  And that song was the Fantasy Costco theme, so ya’ll are getting Garfield instead. Haha! I am absolutely one of the people who can’t help but see Garfield as a cat, but as much as the “necromancer lasagna cat” makes me laugh, I wanted to actually design a specific character for him.  Because I am terribly fascinated by Garfield’s character and ngl every time he comes around I laugh so much.  Good good weird creepy cat wizard man.

(Same group as this quote)

Context: I’m the DM for a four-man party. During their adventuring in an abandoned town, they find a newspaper, and our barbarian-like character (semi-homebrew, but “barbarian” is an apt description for simplicity) decides to read it. I planned for them to find useful information on it, so I go along with this. For the record, in a previous session, the barbarian had successfully decoded a note in a foreign language, which led to the decision he was fluent in said language.

DM: Roll Perception to see what useful information you find.

Barbarian:  …nat 1.

DM: …you look over the newspaper before realizing you’re illiterate.

The others laugh, pointing out the foreign note he read earlier and the contradiction there.

DM: You know what, I’ll be nice. Roll again to see if you were just holding the paper upside-down.

Barbarian: (rolls) …2.

DM: Yeah, nope, you are illiterate. But only in your first language.

It took a while for the laughter to fade.