man you gotta get in on this

If Sherlock doesn’t understand his emotional context (that he and John are in love), he will not get his Three Garridebs moment

If Sherlock doesn’t find his emotional context The Three Garridebs will die (TFP).  And if Sherlock doesn’t understand that you have to take your shot at love before you miss it (TLD) he will not get to have his Three Garridebs moment with John.  This is the same theme brought up in two very different ways: love with complete you as a person but you gotta get in the game, you got to tell the other person who you feel.  Sherlock has to face his feelings to get a chance at romance with the man that he loves.

As harsh as I originally saw the scene where the three Garrideb brothers die, I know see it as a cautionary tale for Sherlock.  Eurus is his innermost hidden feelings.  His love and his fear of love.

It is Eurus as his true, ‘emotional context’, who keeps pushing him through all of these increasingly difficult challenges.  And even though he makes the right deduction, Eurus doesn’t play fair and his symbolic love confession (the three  brothers) die.

By the end once he’s figured out how to save Eurus and added, ‘I am lost without your love’, to the deduction we see that he finally understands his emotional context.  (Thanks to @writemeastoryofsolitude for that excellent meta).

Then we get him back together with John, as before, as if they’re a couple.  Hopefully, though, we still get our proper romantic Garridebs moment where he finally tells John that he loves him.

me: reaches for an old cup of coffee by my bed in the morning

some fuckin ghost: hey dick that’s my coffee from 1843, i was just about to drink that

me: oh fuck sorry bud

ghost: yeah your coffee from fifteen days ago is over there.

me: over where u gotta point when you say over th-

ghost: in the trash. motherfucker it was moldy. it was fifteen days old. you cant drink that shit.

me: o fuck bro reall-

ghost: get yr shit together man. christ. holy fuck. what’s wrong with u bro. jesus christ.

listen: fight club and pulp fiction are good movies, i love them both personally, but if a guy (and you KNOW the type of guy i mean) says they are his Favorite Movies then u need to run. RUN. plan ur exist exit strategy now. if ur texting him then just make something up. “haha i gotta go now. it was nice talking to you. bye!” if you’re somewhere with him just leave. do parkour if you have to. run like the wind. get away from that man

tfw you love a Thing and your Friends but sometimes the two just don’t mix

Today, I fucked up... when I made my Uber driver have an existential crisis

This happen to me about an hour ago. My car broke down and had to call Uber for a ride across town to work (which is about 40 minutes away). I work for a pretty big company and when he saw the address the conversation started. (For my privacy and the privacy of others, I’m going to change the name of my job and the people I’m speaking of.)

UD: “Hey man, you work JOB? How do you like it?”

Me: “It is pretty good. Pay is great, people are nice…can’t really complain.”

UD: “Bruh that is really good man. Gotta work hard these days, don’t know if you’ll have another chance, you know?”

Me: “Yeah man. I get you.”

UD: “I actually got a friend that works up there. He use to make websites all the time and he was excited when you guys hired him.”

Me: “I’m glad to hear that. What is his name?”

UD: “My boy Frank.”

Me: “Frank…Gallagher?”

UD: “Hell yeah, he is super smart and had a streak of bad luck with jobs. Then he got hired there and we knew he was set.”

Me: “Um..When was the last time you talked to him?”

UD: “Its been about 2-ish years. Me and my girl had a kid and lost contact with a few people but now that you reminded me of him, I’m going to hit him up soon.”

Me: “I don’t know if that is possible, Frank died like 2 years ago.”

UD: “…..What? Nah man. We must be talking about two different people.”

Me: “I’ve been working there for a while and we have had only one Frank Gallagher to work for us. He died in the summer of 2014 I believe.”

UD: “No, he didn’t. I’m going to call him right now because I’m pretty sure we are talking about two different people bruh.”

calls Frank on his phone and the number is disconnected

UD: “He probably didn’t pay his bill. You know how us black people are with our bills and shit. Hahaha”

Me: “Ummm…I trained him when he was hired. I’m sorry you found out this way but he was the only one.”

UD: “He wasn’t some young dude. He is about my age, like 40…”

Me: “or early 50’s? Black, slender, short with salt and pepper hair. Chipped tooth? Yeah, Frank. I know him because I really like him. Worked harder than any other young guy I’ve ever trained. He died, man. I’m really sorry you found out like this.”

Uber Driver starts to cry and pulls over

UD: “I….what…we were around the same age. What the fuck?!”

Me: “I’m sorry…I don’t know what to say” looks at the clock on my phone

UD: “He is way to young to die man. We are both in our 40’s bruh.*

He eventually collected himself and kept driving. Still got to work on time. I took a picture of Frank that I had on my desk and sent it to him, so he could realize we are talking about the same person.

TL;DR I, a stranger, informed a friendly Uber driver that one of his friends died and we shared a very emotional car ride together.

Updates;

Keep reading

Some of the best out-of-context Gravity Falls quotes, in no particular order

(feel free to add your own favorites)

  • “I ate a man alive tonight.”
  • “Time to manhandle this…man-handle.”

  • “Larry King’s decapitated wax head wants num-nums.”

  • “Darn beautiful men, always eating out of the trash…wait, what?”

  • “And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for like three hours! Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk.”

  • “Jean-Paul Sartre postulated that every living thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance.” “Totally righteous, bro!” “I know!

  • “The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand!”

  • “Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!”

  • “Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?! Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!”

  • “You deserve a prize. Here, have a head that’s always screaming!”

  • “Studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own ten guns–in case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!”

  • “Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive, and–follow-up question–can I survive the wax-figure uprising?”
Flower: A Short Story

Chapter 1

“Treeyyy-ugh!” I yelled. He didn’t even acknowledge my displeasure. Here I was being kicked out of the studio again. Apparently I was “messing up his mojo.” He never recorded with me in the stu. If only he’d just let me help him. The male ego is so weak. His flow needs work and I can fix it but apparently im the vibe kill because Im not a yes man. I was softly hitting his stomach while he walked me out of the studio, like a little kid. A cute little kid, and still he was kicking me out. “Jas, you know I gotta get in my zone when I record. You know its nothing personal, and I’d love to have you in there but I just can’t.” He spoke with sincerity. I didn’t believe not one word he said but how could I say no to him. That goofy smile, the way we can joke about anything, and the dick!! Yessss gawd the dick. I hate how much I love this man. “Ok Trey, but drop some heat this time. Don’t kick me out so you can record some weak shit baby.” I told him wit a slight attitude. He took two steps back like girl who tf you think im is and then he stepped back to me and started to laugh. “All my shit, is hot shit girl, you better believe that.” he said as he pulled me in for a kiss. “I’ll see you later Jas. We gone finish that pack tonight.” And with that he gave me another kiss and was gone.

Later that night I was chillin around my crib. Listening to Travis $cott, he’s highkey music bae. When I got the text that I had been waiting for all night. It was Trey and it simply read “omw”. That was the best thing i had read all day. I grabbed my weed and rolled two blunts. It was gonna be a lit night just me and my baby. Trey finally knocked on the door. “Hey Jas” he said as he gave me a hug. He looked a little down and I was confused as to why. “Why you look so sad to see me Trey?” I asked as he walked to the couch and flopped down. “How much work do I put in with these niggas Jas?!?!” His scream came out of nowhere. “alot” I responded carefully. “And how much do I ride for these niggas?!?” he continued. “A whole lot” i responded. “And who’s the best in the group?” He asked me clapping and shit. I was already over this he needed to clm his lil ass down but I played along. “You are baby ofcourse.” That was a lie tho. Trey was weak. Uno was the best in the group. Robbie was the singer. Kano was the hood nigga. And Trey, well Trey was just trying to fit in. “SO WHY IS UNO TRYNA LEAVE THE GROUP?” He yelled at me. Damn Uno was trying to leave? It didn’t surprise me tbh. He always lowkey thought he was better than us. Well let me rephrase that, he thought he was better than them. Trey doesnt consider me part of the group, even thought I help everybody with they shit, and sing hooks, and even record verses on multiple songs; he doesnt see me as a contributing member. “Damn baby I’m sorry, you know he be spazzin sometimes. He’s probably just trying to keep yall on high alert.” I told Trey trying to calm him down.

“You know what you need baby?” I asked him “what is that?” he responded. “You need some of this” I said as I pulled out the blunts from the gar papers. “Oh shit jazzy baby its lit, spark me up.” I took the blunt and put it i his mouth and lit it. And then as soon as he took his first inhale, I kissed him. Long and deep cuz i wanted some of it too. I could tell I caught him off guard, he handed me the blunt and I started pulling on it. He was unbuckling his pants. Meanwhile I was in heaven. Smoking a blunt, with the man I love, about to take his soul away from him. Within seconds his dick was in front of me. I took another hit from the blunt and passed it to him. With a mouth full a smoke I kissed it and blew a little bit of smoke on it. The deviant in me always aimed to surround his dick head in smoke. In my mind it was like I could get his dick high lol. Still with a decent amount of smoke in my mouth, I slid it over his head and started to work it with my tongue, while twisting his shaft with my hands. “Damn Jasmine u suck it so good baby” he managed to moan. Not even  a minute and a half in and this nigga cums. The combination of cum and smoke in my mouth was weird so I kinda just blew everything back out and back onto his dick. And then I started to suck it again. And it was at this point where this nigga started tweaking. He jumped to the side a little. And his leg lifted up like a dog. And before I knew it his palm was in my face and he yelled “Ah shit, bitch get off my dick.”

I wasnt even mad. “If your rhymes were half as good as that then you’d be alright Trey” I said as I started to laugh.  He didn’t appreciate that too much. He pulled up his pants and said “lets go” and I’m like “go where?” “To get more weed” he says. “But I have a bunch of weed right here, whats wrong with my weed?” I asked. “It aint strong enough.” “boy this is loud get the fuck outta here.” “You coming or not?” He replied. I wasnt gonna turn down free weed. So we was gone.  

The car ride was high key silent, except for me singing along to the radio. I wasnt even paying attention to where we were going until it was too late. “Trey I know you did not bring me to this bitch house.” I said as I punched him in his arm. “I fuckin hate you.” “Get in the backseat” he replied. I rolled my eyes and got in the back. And thats when she came out of the house. Alicia walked down the steps enroute to the car. She had on a tank top and shorts that just looked more or less like underwear. “Hey bae” Trey said as she got in the car and kissed her. She kissed him back. I cleared my throat and she jumped a little bit. “Trey why the fuck is she here” Alicia asked looking disappointed. “Well hello to you too bitch.” I said with a slight attitude. “Baby you know she’s my best friend, she been holding me down since before even you babe. You know I gotta keep the homie around.” Alicia gave me a stank look and I returned it back to her and with that We were gone…

TO BE CONTINUED

When a nigga start fucking with you he never like/comment on your pics. & I find that soooo corny Lmaoo like why? All of a sudden niggas become too cool for it lol. Knowing damn well they lurking madddd hard. Like God forbid he comments something nice on ur pic GOD FORBID!! 🙄🙄 why can’t niggas keep showing the same love they were showing when they was trying to get with the girl. Then niggas wanna get tight when they see other niggas commenting all over her pic. Shit, somebody gotta do it. Compliment ya shorty, girls love getting love from their man. It lets her know you still thirst for her. Ya’ll gotta do better.

WHERE’S MY BANQUET OVA

KUBO I LOVED THE ENDING AND YOUR EXISTENCE BUT WHERE IS MY POST-GPF BANQUET SCENE.

YOU HAVE GIVEN US THE WORLD AND PERFECTION WITHIN IT I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS LAST EPISODE BUT I NEED TO SEE THE REUNION WITH ALL OF THE SKATERS.

I NEED TO SEE PHICHIT SPRINTING UP TO YURI GRIPPING HIS HAMSTERS AND SQUEALING ABOUT HIS DREAM WHILE YURI SMILES WEAKLY BUT SMILES FOR SUPPORT NONETHELESS

I WANNA SEE YURI’S OLD COACH GIVE HIM A SLAP ON THE BACK WITH A HARSH “I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! MAKE SURE TO LAY OFF THE CHAMPAGNE, KIDDO.”

I WANNA SEE CHRIS BLOWING VICTOR OFF JEALOUSLY AND HIS “COME-TOO-LATE” MAN SLINGING HIS ARM AROUND CHRIS’S SHOULDER AND GIVING HIM A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE TO COOL HIM DOWN.

GIVE ME A JJ WHO HAS LEARNED HIS LESSON ABOUT EGOTISTICAL TENDENCIES AND AWKWARDLY COMPLIMENTS YURI AND YURIO FOR SKATING A BETTER GAME THAN HIM. 

I GOTTA GET ME SOME OF THAT AWKWARD OTAYURI POST-COMPETITION CONVERSATION (Yurio: “I apologize for taking your dream from you. I know you wanted the gold medal to bring back to your country…” Otabek: “There will be many more opportunities for the both of us. Your free skate was beautiful or sOME SHIT LIKE THIS LETS BE TIGER AND BEAR FURRIES TOGETHER FOREVER”)

okay and fiNALLY I NEED ME A DRUNK VICTURI BECAUSE APPARENT REASONS (and let’s be honest, chris ain’t gonna pass up the opportunity to bring his stripper pole again) AND I NEED VICTOR TO DRUNKENLY CONFESS THAT THE ACTUAL MOMENT HE FELL IN LOVE WAS WHEN YURI DRY HUMPED HIM 

THIS OVA IS GOING TO HAPPEN GUYS. BECAUSE KUBO ALWAYS DELIVERS. 

Show off
  • Yuri: I'm going to showcase our love in front of millions of people, in your own homeland, so they can all know you're mine
  • Victor: *shudders*Y-yuri!
  • Yurio: fucking showoffs
  • Yakov: if you think they're such 'show offs why're filming them on your phone?
  • Yurio: that's cause I need more Instagram followers, they're a fucking gold mine, that Thailand dude isn't going to be only one getting something out of these fucktards
  • Emil: man that's cold

Headcanons okay?

MCCREE:
• Honestly? He’s as hammered as you are. Maybe even more so.
• Super smug when you start to cling on to him (but also super giddy on the inside because he thinks it’s cute).
• You two spend almost all night hanging off each other, singing and laughing at bad jokes.
• “hey, HEY, McCree…Mc-Jess. my man, my…. Listen, bro, HEY! You’re sooo beautiful, you know that? God, I gotta…. I got a crUSH on yooouu!”
• He starts crying, he’s so happy
• You start crying, because he’s crying
• And, everything gets caught on tape.

GABRIEL REYES:
• Okay, so this man has the highest alcohol tolerence of anyone you’ve ever known, or will ever know.
• He always ends up being the moderator for every get together that involves adult beverages
• He’s the only one who, for sure, won’t get drunk.
• “Okay, I think you’ve had enough, [y/n].”
• “I think, I think YOU’VE had enough mr. hoTBOD.”
• “Aaaand, I’m taking your drink.”
• He pretends that you saying he has a hot body doesn’t get to him.
• It gets to him.
• You wrap your arms around his torso.
• “Gabe, gabe, GAbe! Gabo… Gabe….Gab-a-reeno!”
• “What.”
• “psst gabe. I think….. I know whose gotta crush on yooouuuu!……… it’s meeeee.”
• He’s absolutely red all over and everyone knows it’s not because of the alcohol.

JACK MORRISON:
• Is super careful about drinking and has probably only had a sip of beer.
• Watches you from afar as you have a hardcore rock-paper-scissor battle with McCree.
• You both keep putting out rock.
• “Mind if I play?” He asked McCree after seeing this go on for a few minutes.
• “be my guest… mr. sir, they’re a…….veeerrry powerful….”
• Jesse then toddles away to bother Gabriel.
• “Aaaaahhh, so the big guy shows for….a chALANGE!”
• He laughs.
• On shoot, he purposely puts out scissors all three times, naming you the victor.
• “I AM UNSTOPPABLE!”
• You try to climb the table in victory, but he holds you back.
• You wiggle a bit in his arms then stop when you realize how warm he is.
• “Hugs from Jack! Ooooo hugs….warm…good, Yay! I loove ya hugs! Now- you know…… Hey, jaCK give me a kiss.” You sing
• “Absolutely not.”
• He’s blushing up a storm.
• “pleeeaassseeee?? I’ve always wanted one!”
• You start singing a song about kisses and Jack, while he tries his hardest not to give you one.

HANZO:
• You’ve been bothering him all night
• It’s not like he can just leave you; it would be irresponsible.
• So, he half listens to you blab on about some movie with a pig in it.
• “And then she dies. Her babies…they just fly…..but he teaches baby sal……salutations.”
• You start to become a blubbering mess.
• “charlotte, CHARLOTTE…..he loVED YOOUUUU. III LOOVVEEDD YYOOUUUUU!!!”
• You’re full on weeping at this point.
• Hanzo doesn’t know what to do, so he’s awkwardly patting your back.
• You end up crying into his chest.
• He’s freaking out and it’s showing a little.
• “H-hanzooo, don’t die an-and let your babies fly awaaaaayyyy!”
• “O-okay….”
• He’s trying to think of a way to make you stop crying as fast as he can.
• He grabs his cup of water and hands it to you.
• “Here….. You need to stay hydrated…”
• You slow your bawling and accept his offering, still cradled in his chest.
• You gulp it down through your sniffles.
• “Hanzo. Don’t….you better- haaanzzooo. Please don’t die! Then I can’t tell you….say that…. I think your super cute…..”
• “Thank you?”
• He went to bed that night equal parts confused and flustered

—-

Was that what you wanted? I hope I got it right!