man time flies

7

Peter keeping his distance and webbing them up.

✰ * º ❛   that 70′s show sentence starters   ❜

‘  you know what your problem is? i’m too good looking.  ’
‘  god, what did you have for breakfast this morning? carnation instant bitch?  ’
‘  oh, is this what we’re gonna do today, we’re gonna fight?  ’
‘  because you’re breaking up the band, yoko!  ’
‘  an apple? where’s my candy, you son of a bitch.  ’
‘  she told me she loves me and then i told her i loved cake…  ’
‘  how’d you’d like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass?  ’
‘  look, if i could run across the beach into my own arms, i would.  ’
‘  you know he never liked phones. he said he could hear voices in ‘em.  ’
‘  when my time comes, i wanna be buried facedown so that anyone who doesn’t like me can kiss my ass.  ’
‘  you know what your problem is? you’re really cute… so no one ever told you to shut your pie hole.  ’
‘  god, we are such the… perfect couple?  ’
‘  you’re cold? well damn, i can’t control the weather!  ’
‘  the gym, or as i like to call it, the institute of things i can’t do.  ’
‘  well, i’d like to help but… not as much as i’d like not to.  ’
‘  don’t put me in your fantasies. i don’t even like being in your real life.  ’
‘  i don’t like people. i like rock n’ roll, sex, and pizza – in that order.  ’
‘  i’m not loving anybody that i’m not legally required to.  ’
‘  and if somebody doesn’t tell me i’m cute in the next five minutes, i’m gonna scream!  ’
‘  don’t hate me because i’m beautiful.  ’
‘  i can’t count on much in this crazy world, but i can always count on you.  ’
‘  i’m going to go out, meet some boys and crush their hearts one by one.  ’
‘  where zen ends, ass kicking begins.  ’
‘  you guys are fighting like cats and whores.  ’
‘  cake is good, but you cannot have sex with cake.  ’
‘  well, my head says no, but my heart says no.  ’
‘  the three true branches of the government are military, corporate, and hollywood.  ’
‘  hey man, if you don’t get caught, everything’s legal.  ’
‘  yeah, but god didn’t see that. i was in my van, and he can’t see through lead.  ’
‘  college is for ugly girls who can’t get modeling contracts.  ’
‘  college is for women who don’t want to marry the first idiot they meet and squeeze out his bastard moron children.  ’
‘  i was never happy. i was just less pissed off.  ’
‘  sometimes when i’m alone, i just love to cuddle.  ’
‘  i have a definite opinion on this… i don’t care.  ’
‘  when he’s unhappy, i know our relationship is in good shape.  ’
‘  all right, sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs put their foot in your ass.  ’
‘  that’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.  ’
‘  we have some breaking news: i’m toasted.  ’
‘  but i don’t want to go outside. there are people out there.  ’
‘  oh, please. i’m a hot-looking, smooth-talking, frisky-assed son of a bitch.  ’
‘  no, i’m not pouting. that would upset our routine. god knows i wouldn’t want to move in a new direction and accidentally slip in a puddle of fun or anything.  ’
‘  i’ve just decided being sad is a waste of my time.  ’
‘  he called me ugly on the inside and the outside. i’m sorry, but he’s just wrong about the outside part.  ’
‘  i don’t really cook much. i just plan on getting by on my looks.  ’
‘  no, no, no, you just don’t move on from me. i’m like alcohol. you need a twelve-step program to break my smell.  ’
‘  you know, being here under the stars, sitting on the grass makes me really glad i’m not poor.  ’
‘  the person i love the most is me!  ’
‘  i was voted most popular, best legs, and now godmother? what can’t i do?  ’
‘  why am i alone and all of you less attractive people are happy?  ’
‘  it’s better to have loved and loss than to be butt ugly.  ’
‘  okay, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: everyone loves me.  ’
‘  why get out of bed when you can read about people who got out of bed?  ’
‘  i got a lot of free time. i mainly use it to nap and cry.  ’
‘  i’ll just curl up in the fetal position and think about pancakes.  ’
‘  have you been in bed all day?  ’
‘  last night i only slept like… nine hours.  ’
‘  i pity you because you’re dumb.  ’
‘  responsible people don’t go around getting their nipples twisted.  ’
‘  they want to kill rock n’ roll because they know it makes us horny, man.  ’
‘  i would love car sex… or just sex… or just a car.  ’
‘  no, i don’t feel bad. i don’t feel anything.  ’
‘  man, think about it. we hold information that could crush the very heart and soul of one of our best friends… i live for days like this!  ’
‘  it’s like we’re too old to trick or treat and too young to die.  ’
‘  talking isn’t gonna help me, okay? what’s gonna help me is, like, drinking.  ’
‘  hey, yeah, that’s the worst idea i’ve ever heard!  ’
‘  i wish i was an octopus.  ’
‘  thanks, but i’ve gotta go to sleep because i have a big day of misery ahead of me.  ’
‘  life is too short to spend it with people who annoy you.  ’
‘  well, for your information, i’m already sorry i was ever born.  ’
‘  i don’t have a hickey. i was using a curling iron.  ’
‘  give me a reason why i shouldn’t set you on fire.  ’
‘  i’m a hottie, you’re a nottie.  ’
‘  prison is not an option for me, okay? i can’t pee in front of other people.  ’
‘  man, time really flies when you take two naps a day.  ’
‘  oh, no. now i have to act normal.  ’
‘  oh, i just remembered i can’t loan it to you on account of i hate you.  ’
‘  i’ve been diagnosed with a disease that makes me irresistible to women.  ’
‘  you know what the best thing god ever did was? boobs.  ’
‘  i’m like ketchup. i go good on everything!  ’
‘  when we were about to fool around and i said that i washed my hands, but i really just got done playing with like six dogs.  ’
‘  there’s a rabbit stuck in a tree and i want to return that rabbit to the wild so it can lay its eggs.  ’
‘  if this is about maturity then i want nothing to do with it.  ’
‘  a wedding without a trampoline? that’s crazy talk.  ’
‘  i don’t wanna blink ‘cause i’m afraid to miss even a second of your cuteness.  ’
‘  you seem normal around your family, but out in the real world, you’re kinda nuts.  ’
‘  i could get arrested. i could go to girl prison. this freakin’ rocks!  ’
‘  my parents are fighting all the time and they want me to choose sides, but i can’t because they’re both idiots.  ’
‘  why would sally sell seashells down by the seashore? i mean, that’s a terrible location for a seashell stand.  ’
‘  i’m not strong, but i know a lot of ways to destroy men emotionally.  ’
‘  i don’t have feelings for him. i just hate that bitch for making him happy.  ’
‘  i’m not jealous, i just want to pop that inflatable bitch and watch her fly around the room.  ’
‘  hello, it is me, the object of your desire.  ’
‘  i’m a beautiful girl with a shrill, demanding voice. i’m pretty hard to ignore.  ’
‘  a gold digger is what these idiots call a woman who knows that love eventually wears off, but money is forever.  ’
‘  you see, a more productive use of my time is revenge.  ’
‘  i cannot be held responsible for the things that come out of my mouth.  ’
‘  i don’t answer stupid questions.  ’

2

“Hinata… This big idiot finally understands… The real meaning of the scarf you gave me when you went with Toneri… I know now, from the scarf you painstakingly knitted and took so long to finish, that your love can’t be unraveled so easily… Wait for me… This whole time, you always loved me for the way I am… Now, as a man, there’s something I must tell you… Hinata, I swear I will save you!”

6

always and will be wishing you nothing but the best as every year passes by because you deserve it, happy birthday oh sehun✨ 

me reading fics at 3 am: oh man how the time flies i sure wish i could keep reading but i should probably go to sleep as i have read like. 10 fics tonight!!! ah, who cares, one more chapter!!!

me reading actual information from a textbook at 3 am: this must be the latest i have ever stayed up, i can’t function, i obviously wasn’t built to read anything after midnight, i just keep reading the same sentence over and over with no progress, this is what hell is like

1-31-2017 | 7/100 Days of Productivity

It’s the last day of January, already? Man, time flies by quickly when you’re not paying attention • v • “

Anyways, it’s a new semester, so I’m going to do better and study smarter! Took some notes for environmental science ^^ This class is sometimes too fast for me to keep up with but, you know, just gotta believe in myself and know that I can, will and shall :DDD

Like always, keep that chin up!

I’d also like to say thank you so much for 400+ followers like oh my gosh you’re all lovely people. If you’d ever wanna talk, just leave me a message and I’ll reply as soon as possible ^^

Imagine Chris introducing you to your son for the first time.

A/N: Part 5 already? Man, time flies when you’re having fun. Stay tuned for the epilogue. Here are the links to the previous parts: (Memory Lane - Part 1/Part2/Part3/Part 4) and (Drunk Minds, Sober Hearts and Baby Fever - Masterlist). This one is super cute if I say so myself. 💕

You could barely remember the labor experience when you woke from your nap, or anything for that matter. You could remember the pain, of course, that was still there but it had subsided sufficiently since the birth of your son. You could remember your water breaking at home because of the silly argument you had with Chris, and him rushing you to the hospital whilst apologizing the entire drive there. You smiled to yourself when you thought about it; you had the best husband even though he got a little messy sometimes.

“Knock knock,” you heard your mom’s voice and you looked up dazedly. “Hey sweetheart,” she smiled at you and you mirrored it. “How are you feeling?” She asked as she entered your ward; she sat down on an empty chair and took one of your hands in hers.

“Glad I’m not pregnant anymore,” you responded with a soft chuckle and she chuckled in response. “I don’t know how you did it, Mom. That was-” you shook your head in disbelief, “one of the most painful experiences of my entire life.” She squeezed your hand gently, chuckling. “I know I said I’d think about having a girl, but I don’t think I want to do that ever again.”

“You will,” she disagreed with a nod. “Not now, but you will. Believe me, honey. Parenthood is one of the best experiences you’ll ever have. When you see your baby, you’ll understand that the pain is worth everything.” She pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand and you smiled. “He’s beautiful, by the way.” She told you and your smile grew wider.

“Is Chris with him?”

“Did you really expect him to be anywhere else?” She responded and you chuckled. “Have the two of you decided on a name? I remember both of you saying that you didn’t want to think about it until you saw the baby, but surely there’s been some discussion on possible names.”

You shook your head in response because there hasn’t been. Sure there were names you both liked, but there was never one that either of you had your mind set on. Chris didn’t see the point of naming a child he hadn’t yet met, and to be honest- neither did you. When you wrote, you’d always create a character before you gave that character a name; a name was nothing if it didn’t fit the personality. Despite your need to control things, you quite liked the spontaneity of things which was one of the many reasons Chris fell in-love with you.

“We’ll decide when we decide,” you told her and she nodded. “Where’s Dad?” You asked but before she could answer you, you asked another question. “And did Chris call Lisa and Bob yet? They were meant to drive down for the due date but- well,” you chuckled. “Their son pissed me off so much that their grandson came early.”

Your mom laughed then said, “your dad’s getting some coffee, and Lisa and Bob are on their way as we speak. So are your brothers, and Chris’ siblings, and their families. Everyone’s been informed about the sudden birth, don’t worry. We’ve handled all the details, you just relax.”

“I don’t think relaxing is in her wheelhouse,” you heard Chris’ voice and you immediately smiled. You looked up and felt your heart skip a beat when you realized he was with a nurse and your baby. “We thought you might like to meet your son.” He said as he carefully pushed the baby cot over. “Hate to say it but- he’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.”

“That’s ‘cause you didn’t see your wife when she was a baby,” your mom commented and Chris chuckled. “Okay, we’ll leave you two to get aquatinted with your son.” She beckoned the nurse out with her as she started to make her leave. “Pick a good name, no Jr. situation please.” You and Chris laughed softly at that, not wanting to scare the baby. “We’re better than that.” With that, she closed the door behind her.

“Before I pick him up, first things first.” He leaned over and gently caressed your face, pressing his lips against yours; you smiled and kissed him back. “I am so proud of you, Y/N, and I don’t think I have ever loved you more. You were so strong and beautiful and- I am just-” he cut himself off, glancing at your son, “we’re just the luckiest guys in the world to have you in our lives.”

“You’re just trying to make up for the fact that you basically pushed me into labor,” you giggled and he chuckled. “I can’t even give birth at a time that I want, and you call me controlling and manipulative.” You teased and his smile widened.

“You did say you were sick of being pregnant, and my job as your husband is to make your life easier so- I guess you’re welcome.” He quipped and you giggled, slapping his arm ever so gently. “Alright,” he chuckled. “Are you ready to meet your son? We really need you to because we need to decide on a name. I kinda have one in my head but- I want to see what you think of when you look at him.”

“Okay,” you nodded and Chris helped you sit up before gently lifting your baby boy out of the plastic cot. He sat down on the edge of your bed, just beside you and carefully passed the life you’d just given birth to over to you. You felt tears well in your eyes upon looking at his tiny face, he looked up at you with eyes the same shade as his father’s and smiled for the first time. “He’s beautiful, Chris.”

“Just like you,” Chris kissed the side of your head.

You looked down at your baby, gently swaying him back and forth as you thought about his name. His eyes reminded you of Chris, yes, but they also reminded you of the day Chris took you camping for the first time. It was near the Jackson River, he’d taken you out on the canoe just as the sun was rising over the water which was as beautiful a blue as your son’s eyes. You looked at him and all you could remember was that day, the day Chris took you out of your comfort zone without removing the feeling of warmth and safety while doing so. But that was what Chris did, and was incredibly good at; he challenged you and changed you for the better. Your son was the perfect example because without Chris- you would have never birthed this beautiful and angelic baby boy, and set out to experience the adventure of a lifetime.

“What are you thinking?” Chris asked, wrapping an arm around you.

“Do you remember that day you took me out camping?” You asked, not tearing your eyes away from your son. You felt Chris nod and you continued, “it was my first time out in the woods and I was a little nervous about it.”

“A little?” He chuckled softly. “Sweetheart, you were having anxiety attacks.” You chuckled softly in response. “But I also remember you telling me that I made you feel safe despite how unsafe you felt out there.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “And you took me out on the canoe just before sunrise and we watched as it rose over the water.” Chris nodded again, smiling as he reminisced. “I fell in-love with you that trip, like- head over heels in-love with you.”

“Really, that trip?” He raised an eyebrow. “But you didn’t say anything, and that was- way before Disney World when I spilled the beans. Were you waiting for me to say it first?” He teased and you chuckled softly.

“Well, I didn’t want to scare you off.”

“Please,” he chuckled. “If you’d told me then, I would have told you the feeling was mutual. Sweetheart, I was in-love with you after our first date. I just tried to play it cool because I didn’t want to scare you off. Honestly- I thought you were going to run after the camping thing, your face when we got to the campsite was pretty priceless.”

“Shut up,” you giggled.

“Why are you bringing that trip up?” Chris quizzed; there was a hint of curiosity and hope in his voice because he too thought about that trip when he looked at his son for the first time. That trip was the one that gave Chris a glimpse of the life he could have with you, where he would constantly challenge you and lift you out of your comfort zone while making you feel as loved and as safe as possible. He fell in-love with you too, that trip, because he saw how hard you tried for him despite how much you clearly hated camping.

“Because when I look at our baby, I think of that trip.” You glanced at Chris and he smiled when you did. “He is here because of you, of what you’re capable of making me do. That trip was the first time I did anything out of my comfort zone for a guy, you are the first guy who made me want to leave my comfort zone.”

“And you are the first girl who has tried so hard for me,” he responded. “You know something, Y/N? You know why we work?” Your facials prompted a continuation. “Because despite our differences, we are one in the same. I thought about that trip when I saw him too,” he told you and you smiled. “Does this mean we’ve decided on a name?”

“Jackson River Evans,” you said with a smile and a nod.

“I love it,” you felt your husband kiss the top of your head. “And I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too,” you turned and kissed him, smiling against his lips. “And we love you, Jack.” You whispered to your son when you broke the kiss, leaning into your husband’s loving arms. “God, he’s so perfect.” You said to Chris and he nodded, smiling. “Jack,” you smiled and cradled the small bundle of joy closer to your chest.

“You know what I just realized?” Chris quizzed then chuckled softly as he said, “both Chris Pratt and I now both have a son named Jack.” The two of you laughed softly at that. “Chris Evans, Jack Evans. Chris Pratt, Jack Pratt. Well-” he chuckled. “I better call Hemsworth to tell him he’s got to have another son and name him Jack, God knows Hollywood needs another Evans-Pratt-Hemsworth trio.”

“You’re such a dork,” you giggled.

Tags: @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @chrisevans-imagines I hope you know that I love you all for supporting me. ❤