man this took me so long



If somebody told you this was a happy tale, if somebody said I was just your average guy, not a care in the world… somebody lied.


blues bars, broken hearts, and how the sun shines tomorrow

you sit on a throne
of clouds
command every beat
of the song in my chest
your whispers tell me
your lips taste like
a sunset that never sinks
this man toiled a long day
but not one long enough
to climb the steps and
attempt to take the throne
next to your seat

I met a man today
with a smile that tasted
my soul and took the memory
of the way back Home
I turned around to find
my companions couldn’t
be found so I found my
way back alone
I caught unfamiliar tears
on the toes of my Converse
held you in journeymen’s
arms and promised my
adventuring days were over

winds blowing numbers
to the east told us the
snow was melting, but
the ice remained
mother nature hands
me a pen and suggests
a new course of action

I thought I had to leave
seasons fingers pull
me through acorns and
blooms until my nose
peels to a place we
said we would be one day
the sun brought me a sunset
that never sinks again

we continued on
a one way road
thinking we could change
direction, but the wind
wouldn’t let us go
the devil wouldn’t cut
us a deal but he pointed
us in a direction we were
already going
we tightened our grip
in confidence but had no
idea how to solve for x
with a math we didn’t know

we pulled over by a tree
to talk about where we’ve
been and where we could be
maybe we would never see
a scythe like some men claim
maybe we just close our eyes
maybe we look through new
ones tomorrow maybe we sing
with angels with a creator
we shrugged and you told
me that whatever happens
to these bodies in the end
we would be comfortable
and cross the river with
two pieces in peace

we continued this game
called life those things
that leave our vision
don’t leave our pre-frontal
lobe, I remember the years
the last time my eyes saw
you walk through the rooms
of my heart and neither
your lips on my cheek
or your smile reflecting
off the fire is something
I thought I would lose
but I keep playing

I know we ran the night
after what we called Home
changed and I ran further
than you into the arms
of the devil (again with this guy)
he let me crash in an
extra bedroom he had
while his roommates were
out of town and I couldn’t
help but think how I was
the one who was wrong

do you remember the first
time your throat played
hello to me with your vocal
chords? I was never smooth
so I shot off a ridiculous joke
and caught your joy with
my fingertips
from that moment on I knew
not even the rains could
drown my smile, do you
remember the way your
ears caught my name or
your eyes caught my dreams?

those memories drug my
feet to neon sign shot
specials and bled scabs
from my heels as I
tried to find you in someone
else and only found reason
after reason to come back
Home, it was an empty actionless
existence watching clocks spin
with the hand of your ghost
resting on my shoulder
as I cleared bottles and blurred
my vision on cell phone screens
waiting for your name
thinking about the first time
your hips swung to a scale
born out of my ocean kissed

I stumbled through streets
guided by a bearded moon
that didn’t shine the same way
as it did when blues were something
I danced
dying slowly every night
as every riff cut into
my spirit leaving me with no
breath to howl pleas for a change
in phase

I was a destroyer of our world
I promised safety and drowned
you in doubt, so you left because
you had to
I met a girl named Perse,
after three years I learned
it was short for Persephone
as I choked in my cities smoke

I’ve had my fill of substances
so much so that they’ve spilt
on my shoes almost as much
as blood from this pen and vomit
from my stumbling heart,
when I was offered more
to get my mind off things
I politely declined
my demons are fat
enough already

I choked on the salt of yesterday’s
wounds, cleaned dirt from my
glasses, and prayed for the first
time in years to someone I
thought had forgotten my name
I looked up to find
the stars we named but only
saw a reflection of my soul
instead of a throne and clouds
black and white pictures
of who we were and color film
of who we could be, so I played
I kicked my legs and shot
above the surface to ride
foam in a direction I felt
Home would be

I can say your name again
but when I do it in
crowded areas people
cover their ears
these words are yours
they always have been
and if you read them aloud
the music of the vowels
and consonents will
hang from your lips
they don’t come from degrees
or poetic technique, they
don’t even belong to me
this is the voice of your spirit
still inside
There is a static in my soul
that pushes me forward with
downcast eyes and a mind
that tells me not to try
Home is a place across the
desert and I am in the shade
of an oasis letting my camel
drink, time is a creature
with sharp teeth and fast feet
that I can’t defeat and God knows
the minutes I’ve pissed away
after empty 2AM last calls
I’ve been told to focus on the
days ahead instead of the years
behind and souls can be washed
in blue eyes that never had to
force a smile out of you
that’s what they say and
I think it’s true
I have nothing else to lose
God lost it, The Devil wanted it,
but we both know who
it belongs to

You are my only
Queen of the Sky
the road called but
I should’ve never Gone
I wasn’t prepared for
the Seasons I’ve seen
I thought I knew but
I Didn’t Know
there’s only one way
I leave here Safe And Sound
Life’s beaten me countless times
I Play On
I left you because I’m selfish
That Ain’t Right
I write to you because
I Was Wondering what I am now
I want to break the radio playing
Bloody Booze Shoes Blues
I need your smile to light
this Old Dark Moon
it seems like we were both
visited by Persephone
I could drown my sorrows
but No Thanks
You already know by now
Sink Or Swim isn’t a question
my heart and soul wrote
an Awakening Song for mind

It’s pouring right now
I’m holding this ink
smeared Raincheck
with your name on it

is it still good?

Heavily influenced by Seasons by Hunters & Gatherers

Save Me Spider-Man (Peter Parker x Reader)

Originally posted by tomhollandisdaddy

You hadn’t been dating Peter for long. In fact it had only been a year. Even though it hadn’t been long you already loved him very much.

Speaking of it only being a year, tonight was actually your one year anniversary. Supposedly Peter had plans of taking you to a fancy restaurant.

You were particularly excited because you were hoping this could mend the tension in your relationship. Recently since he got back from his trip from Germany Peter seemed different, distant.

In anticipation for the evening you went out and bought yourself a gorgeous red dress, heels, new make-up, and all the works.

Peter was supposed to get you at 7:00 and here you were at 6:50 waiting outside for him. You paced back and forth nervously. You remembered when you met Peter for the first time.

It was a regular day at school for him but for you it was a disaster. Everything that could’ve gone wrong, was going wrong. To top things off someone smacked into you in the hallway and knocked all your books and papers out of your hands.

Things flew every which direction and you sunk to the floor desperately trying to scoop them up. He bent over and apologized over and over again. Turns out it was a very handsome stranger.

From then on you and Peter had a running joke of him always insisting on carrying your books. That way he couldn’t bump into you and make you drop them.

By 7:30 you were getting nervous. You decided to give him a call but to no avail. You texted him multiple times and still no reply. At 8:00 and still hearing nothing you huffed back inside.

Out of spite your stripped out of you new outfit and decided to return it. You quickly made your way to the store and checked your phone continuously in hopes of giving Peter a second chance. He still never called.

After returning the outfit you were still upset. Just to drive in the nail you decided to deposit the money back into the ATM at the bank.

While you stood at the machine aimlessly stuffing cash inside there was a commotion behind you. Turning around to hear the source of the noise you caught sight of four men dressed in all black and Avengers masks.

They made you nervous and you stuffed the rest of your money in your purse before attempting to make a hasty dash.  

“She’s a witness” Hulk said. “Grab her”

“I didn’t see anything” You struggled to pull away from Thor who had now grabbed you.

They stuffed you inside the bank and pushed you into a corner while one held a gun trained on you. “What are you gonna do with her?” Captain America asked.

“Let me think on it” Hulk said using some sort of alien tech to cut through the ATM machine and pull it out.

As they filled their bags with money you tried to think how you could get out of this. If only Peter hadn’t of stood you up then you wouldn’t be in this mess. Of course it was rather impulsive of you to return everything you bought on such short notice and so late at night.

Amidst their dash for cash no one noticed the red and blue figure that had crept in and was now leaning against the doorway. His attention oddly shifted to you in almost a panic before he focused back on the robbers.

“Hey the Avengers! What are you guys doing here?” Spider-Man asked almost taunting them.

Instantly all four men’s attention shifted to the hero, including the one with the gun trained on you. You took this moment to slowly shift your way out of the bank.

To your dismay Thor noticed and grabbed your arm, this time with the gun to your head. “Leave or she dies”

“Well that’s not very polite” Spider-Man said walking farther into the building.

“Leave” The plastic Thor said pushing the gun harder against your head.

“Alright, fine” The web slinger said as he began to walk out.

In one swift motion he turned back and used his webbing to snatch the gun away from Thor. He then jumped on the ceiling and kicked him in the face sending him flying across the room.

Another man with the alien tech shot it at Spider-Man sending him levitating in the air. “This feels so strange” He commented before using his webbing to snatch the weapon away. Through all the chaos the weapon exploded and toasted the sandwich shop across the street. It oddly enough happened to be Peter’s favorite.

The robbers fled and Spider-Man ran across the street to the smouldering sandwich shop. You watched as he pulled out what you assumed to be the owner and his cat.

As distracted as you were watching the hero you hadn’t paid any attention to the building you were in. Where the weapon had tore through the wall it had left one of the beams severed.

Before you had a chance to react, the compromised beam started to fall on you. You squeezed your eyes shut and sunk down to the ground in hopes of avoiding being absolutely crushed.

To your surprise the beam never fell. You carefully opened your eyes. Above you Spider-Man was holding the beam up with one hand. The other hand was extended towards you.

Without hesitation you took it and in one graceful motion Spider-Man pulled you out and let the beam fall. You took a moment to collect yourself as the hero watched you silently.

“Thank you for saving my life” You said earnestly. “If only you could save my relationship too” You mumbled under your breath as you began to walk away.

Spider-Man apparently hearing you flipped over your head and landed right in front of you. “What do you mean?” He asked. You were surprised hearing the hero speak, he couldn’t be more than your age.

“Oh nothing” You said brushing him off.

“No what is it?” He asked laying his hand on your shoulder.

You sighed. “It’s just that my boyfriend…well he stood me up. And this isn’t the first time. I just thought tonight would be different. I was wrong. I was so stupid I bought all this stuff to try to impress him and out of spite I returned it all. That’s how I ended up here” You gestured toward the burning scene behind you.

Spider-Man was silent for a long time. “I’m so sorry” He mumbled in a monotone voice.

You were taken aback by his sudden mood change. “Well now if you were my boyfriend I could always count on you” You said in an attempt to lighten the mood. It did the exact opposite and the hero retreated more into himself than before.

There was another long pause and before you could say anything else he spoke up. “I have to show you something. But not here. Do you trust me?” He asked extending his hand to you once again.

“Absolutely” You said giving him your hand.

He scooped you up and shot his webbing into the air latching on the building. Careful to not loosen his grip on you he swung through the air.

You were left in awe of the city lights and the cars below you. This was the first time you’d ever been up this high. Finally the web slinger stopped on a rooftop.

You glanced over the edge and realized this was your apartment building. “But how did you…?” You asked turning around only to stop mid sentence.

Before you was Peter, your boyfriend, in the Spider-Man suit. “I should’ve told you” He mumbled.

“This is why you’ve missed so many of our dates” You said quietly. “And Germany…you were with Tony Stark weren’t you?”

Peter nodded. “I’m sorry this hasn’t been fair to you. I was just worried. No one really knows my secret, and if Aunt May found out she wouldn’t let me do this anymore”

“I won’t tell Aunt May. I won’t tell anyone” You said finally stepping closer to him and laying your hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch and closed his eyes and smiled.

“I do love you” He said opening his eyes. “I’m sorry if I’ve seemed distant”

You shook your head. “I know now, and I understand. Just try to give me a heads up when duty calls”

“I’ll try” He nodded cupping your face. “I promise”

“So do I get a kiss from Spider-Man?” You asked innocently.

He laughed and that radiant smile returned. He leaned in and kissed you like he’d never kissed you before. Warmth spread through your body and tingles settled in your stomach. You couldn’t help but giggle when you pulled away.

“This is so cool” You said resting your forehead against his.

He chuckled. “Happy one year”

Facing the Past - Chapter 14 (Sam Drake x Reader)

Okay, I can’t link the previous chapters because when I try to open them on tumblr, it just redirects me to my dashboard :/

I’m sorry for the long wait guys, writer’s block struck again :(

Tagging: @dragonjedihobbit and @fhujami <3

A big shoutout to @lezzymothra, because she made this chapter better again <3

So in this chapter there are a few words marked with a “*”

Here’s how the mafia hierarchy looks like in the reader’s family:

  • Boss or “Don/Godfather” - Dominic
  • Underboss (second in command) - Reader, however when she was away for the last couple of years, Murphy took that place too
  • Consigliere (right-hand man) - Murphy, he’s the adviser and the number three member of the family
  • Caporegime (or Capo) - Nick and Antonio, they are the leaders of the soldiers
  • Soldier (“Soldato” in Italian) - Soldiers are the main workers of the family, usually committing crimes like assault, murder, extortion, intimidation, etc while also keeping a lookout on the streets and guarding the family businesses

You stood next to your father, holding his hand in yours and caressing his hair with the other. His skin was still warm but you could feel it beginning to fade. You tried greatly not to blame yourself for his death, but the truth was that if Victoria were still alive, your father would be as well. Murphy was right; the Almeidas would’ve come sooner or later. Hell, Victoria confirmed that when you found her talking with Emily that day at the mall. But maybe if you’d just stayed put, maybe if you ignored your personal vendetta, your father would’ve had the time to come up with a plan and he would be still alive.

You closed your eyes. You had to stop thinking about what you should’ve done if you wanted to lead and protect this family. Self-doubt wasn’t going to get you anywhere and if you didn’t believe in yourself, then the others would question your ability to take on the mantle as the new boss as well. With a big, wavering sigh you let go of your father’s hand and wiped your tears.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I have a question that I hope is ok. I have had a suspicion that I might have some form of autism for quite a while now and when you reblog posts that say something along the line of just autism things like the one you just did I have to do a double take because I do all of those things + have them happen to me and am shocked when I see I'm not the only one who does these things especially the really abstract. I don't ever bring it up though in fear that people get upset that I'm "faking"

Oh man, mystery person, that’s pretty heavy!! I know the feeling, it took me a LONG time of self-examination to work out whether I might have autism, and I actually did have to deal with a less-than-optimal response when I tried to talk to someone about it. My doctor outright said ‘but you seem too smart for that’, like.. what the fuck?? So seriously, you need to be prepared to be PERSISTANT. Don’t lose confidence in your decision! Make sure you get to see an actual diagnosis, don’t let them lock you out of it based on dumb stereotypes. Cos seriously, general practitioners going ‘hey this person probably doesnt have this thing that’s completely out of my division, and I wont even let them talk to that division’.. thats just.. GOD I really get frustrated and scared thinking how much more messed up my life would be right now if I’d listened to him and not ever got help for my condition!

So my advice is basically.. even if you don’t want to ‘self-diagnose’, please do ‘self-diagnose’.
You need to be abnormally prepared for this, you need to have a list of all your symptoms, you need to learn the terms and have reference to point to in the event of them denying you the ability to talk to an actual psychologist. And you need to be prepared for them even treating you like you cant be autistic if you were capable of doing this!
You need to hand-hold your general practitioner through explaining what autism even is, and do whatever the fuck you can so you can get transferred over to someone who actually knows who they’re talking about.
Oh and common ‘self-diagnosis’ type stuff can also help a lot in the meantime, because doing research on the subject can lead you to finding new coping methods, finding other people to ask about the subject, and just generally tiding you over until you’re able to get a professional diagnosis and (hopefully) access to things like therapy and local autism community groups.
Also, just, in some countries medical care is way less accessable, so I know not eveyrone is even able to get a professional diagnosis at all.

Oh, and an important thing is that autism is a spectrum and there are many different symptoms you can have. it can even be hard to discover your own symptoms, you might find that they manifest in a weird way because you’ve been subconciously trying to hide them or using some form of unhealthy coping method for years. Going undiagnosed into your adult years is really like.. one of the primary causes for autism being REALLY disabling! Dear god my stage of treatment right now is just learning to untangle a bunch of bullshit I’ve done to myself over the years, and re-learn basic life skills and self confidence. I think if i’d been born into an environment with people who actually would have recognised it and cared about getting me help as a kid, i could have grown up without most of my anxiety issues!
Another important fact is that adult autism is often co-morbid with anxiety issues, due to the circumstances of being left completely alone to deal with this thing for your entire life with no support. There’s also just a lot of ways certain anxiety disorders (as well as ADHD) can have overlapping symptoms with autism spectrum disorders. A lot of the ‘that feel when’ meme stuff can be relateable to all three of these otherwise quite different disorders. So I’d reccommend looking up info on ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and related conditions too, and maybe seeing which disorder seems most similar to what you’re experiencing. And don’t be scared if it seems like you might have multiple of them! In real life being ‘all the tokens at once’ is VERY MUCH not ‘unrealistic’, man I really hate those people who’re like ‘hwaaa someone who’s black AND gay AND in a wheelchair? political correctness gone maaaad!’ Seriously, its very VERY possible to have more than one mental illness, especially ones that might have a knock-on effect causing another one. Going undiagnosed and untreated for ANYTHING can lead to developing anxiety and depression, but going undiagnosed for a social disability makes it especially likely to get specifically social anxiety.
oh, and randomly for an example I happen to also have prosopagnosia, which means I can’t tell the difference between people’s faces. I literally cannot recognise my best friend if she changes her hairstyle or glasses. This is kinda Double Hell combined with autism, cos its already a challenge for me to judge people’s emotions, lol!

Oh man I’m kinda going offtopic and just rambling every damn fact I know, but I’m just hoping maybe something will be helpful??
I really am not an expert on autism, I dont even know any good informative blogs to link you to. I’m just a regular person who happens to have the condition, and I don’t know how to give good advice when i’m still quite often suffering from denial and self hate myself…
But I dunno, I just hope it could help to hear my personal experience, and know that you’re not alone.
Though now I’m worrying maybe this post is a little intimidating so it might make you feel worse?? Seriously, this is just a worst case scenario thing, hopefully your doctor won’t be as casually gatekeepy as mine was. And I mean, he seemed like a good man who wasnt exactly rude about it and wasnt doing it on purpose. If anything that worries me more, tho, cos he was just politely saying ‘haha no you’re wrong’ to a patient, about a subject he wasnt remotely qualified in, and wouldnt have ever considered reccommending me to a professional if i hadnt kept nagging him about it and come back with a bunch of research and stuff. It felt SO damn cathartic to get that ‘YES, AUTISM’ in the end! Shame I couldnt show it to him and I probably would have had my entire healthcare cut forever if I boasted XD
Also, I was lucky that I had my charity support worker to help me through the stress of the assessment interviews. I hope you have at least one person who’d be able to be there for you and believe you, in times like these. Or, even if you’re like me and you dont’ have any family and stuff, I hope you end up meeting a surprisingly awesome governent worker lady who wears a cool hat and helps you out. Seriously, Amber, you’re a godsend!

So umm.. yeah.. i am REALLY sleep deprived and I am not good at words but i hope some of this helped?? I hope you’re okay, anon!
And honestly, reading ‘lol relateable jokes’ type posts on people’s blogs was how I first started suspecting I was autistic, too. I’d grown up buried in so many stereotypes of mentally ill people, I never thought I was one of them until I actually got to read blogs from their perspective. Joke posts obviously aren’t a substitute for a diagnosis, but I think they kinda serve a valuable role in the self acceptance process, yknow? Thank you, joke posts!

my dream is to become a knight and go to rescue a princess. there is a dragon guarding the castle. she yells no men allowed! I take off my helmet. “I am no man!” the dragon let’s me in. I find the princess. she asks me what took so long. I say “the systemic oppression of women kept me from achieving the rank of knight sooner, my princess.” she laughs. I became a knight for her. she knows this because we were lovers before she was trapped in this castle. she told her dragon friend to whisk her away so that she wouldn’t have to marry a man. she left me a letter that said “become a knight and come find me my love. only then can we be wed.” this is because of the law where if you rescue a princess from a dragon castle you get to marry her. I ask “how am I supposed to find her?” I flip the letter over. it says: “I went to the castle where we first banged.” I know exactly where to go. because it’s my castle. I am the queen of the neighboring kingdom. also a knight. also sexy. we get married. we unite the kingdoms. we both carry swords at all times.

And that’s my lesbian fantasy.


I saw this lovely comic by Max, and I thought I should add a little something of my own.

They get gold rings, eventually.

band members as things i've heard at school
  • patrick: i may be "tiny," but i can still kick your ass. don't try me bitch.
  • brendon: i'm not gay but i do have a major man crush on nick jonas, not gonna lie
  • someone: i thought it was ryan reynolds?
  • brendon: oh yeah. him too. also harry styles, justin bieber...
  • pete: i haven't slept in three days but i should be fine, ill grab a coffee at lunch
  • pete: *falls asleep on his desk literally 10 minutes later*
  • ryan: sorry i took so long, i was having a breakdown in the bathroom
  • gerard: *whispering* oh my god what the fuck is she thinking? double denim? what is this, the fucking 80's?
  • andy: i love you guys but can you please, please not?
  • someone: build!that!wall!
  • joe, loudly: HOW ABOUT NO, THANKS?
  • dallon: i'd literally rather be dead than hang out with you tomorrow
  • dallon: so yeah sure we can hang out, when?
  • frank: i'm a simple man, i love dogs and i like boobs
  • tyler: you ever come to the realization that school is kinda like prison? we're forced to do things, we have to eat at certain times, we're forced to interact with each other..
  • josh:
  • josh: you just blew my fucking mind

@asexualspock requested the monopoly meme a while back, so here’s my take on it.

One of my favorite headcanons is that yoongi actually likes to be manhandled and cuddled, but he’s just too tsundere to actually admit it.

Originally posted by mylittlegh0st

Originally posted by rainbow-kookie

Originally posted by sugasuite

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Originally posted by taegilibrary

Originally posted by almighty-yoongi

“And suddenly they were back in the quiet of their cave in the warmth of their blankets and the easy comfortable companionship of their connection and the perfect certainty of each other and nothing else existed and that was okay because this– this was all Jim needed. “

Another Sha ka ree Fanart because I finally got back to it and they love each other so much I want to cry ;-;  @onedamnminuteadmiral