Do you have any Parental!RoyEdAl headcanons? I love reading headcanons, especially if it concerns one of my favorite btotps! ^.^
Of course, of course! My top two favorite headcanons include:
Roy constantly calling the places that he has sent the boys to, to make sure they arrived safe and have a place to stay. At first he was just calling to make sure they weren’t destroying things, but after a year or so, the questions were less “what have they done now?” and more “are they settling in well?” He will not tell the Elrics that he does this, and he makes sure that whomever he spoke to knows that they should not know he called.
Ed and Roy are both introverts, who like their quiet spaces and alone time. They both recognize this in one another, so when Ed is feeling a particular need to introvert, he’ll come stretch out on the couch in Roy’s office and read, research, whatever. Roy knows, when Ed is making a certain face or acting a certain face, that he actually needs something, and should not be teased. It’s one of very few times that Roy actually actively works on his paperwork
That’s not all though!
When Ed first started in the military, he had no idea how to budget. He was a kid with money, who wanted to pay back Winry and Pinako for the automail. His paychecks often ran out… so Roy sat him down and showed him how to budget
When Ed was taking the exam, he stayed at Roy’s. Just because he couldn’t afford a hotel and couldn’t stay in one without an adult anyway. Roy didn’t want to pay for the hotel, so he let Ed stay on his couch.
That’s not the last time that happens.
The day that Ed, Breda, and Armstrong met with Maria Ross, Ed had almost never been so relieved. It had scared him to know that Roy had been such a monster that he would kill Ross for petty revenge, and knowing that he hadn’t was more of a relief than he expected.
Roy totally gave Ed the sex talk. Ed was not amused.
Alphonse never stopped looking up to Roy. Not even after the Ross Incident. A strong part of him just kept saying “there’s no way that such a good man would do something like that with no good reason” even though all logic and sense said that was exactly what happened.
Roy and Riza go ring shopping with both Ed and Al. Ed was embarrassed, but Al was delighted.
Roy braids Ed’s hair when either of his arms are out of commission. Al couldn’t tell how hard he was pulling, and Riza could only do it behind her head. More than once, he has put Ed’s hair into a fancy braid, like a fishtail or something out of the ordinary, before Ed even realized it.
Hughes once half-jokingly said that Roy should just adopt the Elrics and get it over with. A few days later, holding another damage report from one of their missions, Roy seriously considers it “if only so they would just listen to me”.
The day Roy regained his sight, he sat in Alphonse’s hospital room and just stared at him as he slept. It would take a very long time to associate a living, breathing, human child with Alphonse.
Roy and his team are the only ones allowed to poke fun at the Fullmetal Alchemist and his brother, and Roy will make sure that everyone is aware of that.
That cat, that Roy as supposed to take in after Ed beat him in 03 ep 13? Roy went out and found it, and kept it. As soon as Al knew about it, he visited every day.
Ed has never full-on cried, full sobs and everything, in the military. There were times, however, when he may borrow Roy’s shirtfront, when he feared he may come close.
Roy keeps a close eye on Ed because Ed acts exactly how Roy used to act at his age, and that could only end badly.
Roy occasionally threads money into Ed’s account. Not often, but Roy wasn’t about to let his boy starve because Ed was too embarrassed to come ask for money.
Roy slips up and calls them “his boys” instead of “those boys”. More times than he likes to admit.
- Richie insists on buying the biggest bed because of his height, and yet there’s always so much room left because they HAVE to cuddle stupidly close
- Eddie does a majority of the cleaning, while Richie is more of the handy man (although most times its merely just a ‘Richie Fix’ and after a while he still ends up calling the actual handyman to fix it)
- they each take turns cooking any night they can: Richie makes some mean Mexican dishes, while Eddie is more confident with desserts
- they have their friends over for a housewarming party: Stan gives them helpful books every household needs (including gay sex for dummies), Beverly makes them a knitted blanket, Ben and Bill give them a gift certificate for bed, bath and beyond and Mike (mostly for Eddie) gifts a bonsai tree
- they frequently fight over the remote at prime time, but most often Richie admits defeat because he loves to see Eddie smile victoriously
- Eddie buys a welcome mat to keep the dirt out (obvs) but only after Richie convinces him to get a customized mat that says ‘we like it dirty’
- Eddie takes really long showers in the morning, so whenever Richie is running late he’ll join him (and honestly not a lot of cleaning gets done)
- Richie is famous for accidentally breaking plates/mugs, so one christmas Eddie buys him the children’s plastic dinnerware set from IKEA
- but jokes on him, Richie loves all of the different colours and eventually uses them unironically
- they also have a bathtub in their bathroom, and any time either of them has a long day the other runs a scented bath with candles and bubbles and gives them a massage
- Richie gets the mailman to call him Mr. Kaspbrak
- months go by and the day comes where they have their first big fight in the new place (Richie forgetting their 5th anniversary after working late a lot/being constantly tired) (Eddie fearing Richie isn’t happy in their relationship anymore), now exhausted and hurt, Richie leaves to go and sleep on Stan’s couch
- Stan thinks the whole situation is crazy because it’s never been more obvious to anyone how in love those two are
- that night is Richie’s first night not sleeping next to Eddie in a very long time and everything just feels so lonely and wrong, but he doesn’t know how to fix it
- meanwhile Eddie calls up Ben and they chat all night long as Eddie cries and cries, convinced he ruined everything and Richie really is tired of him
- Ben comes around the next day and assures Eddie he hasn’t ruined anything, and helps him set the place up all nice with roses and dinner and invites Richie back to reconcile
- Eddie has everything planned out, ready to tell Richie it was just a stupid anniversary and they’ll have plenty more and that he still loves him more than anything
- only when Richie opens the front door and steps inside, Eddie’s words get caught in his throat when Richie slowly gets down on one knee
- “Eddie,” he almost whispers. “Losing you, even just for that one day, was honestly the worst day of my life. I’m sorry I’ve been working so much and I never meant to make you feel neglected, but I think I was just getting scared. Scared about how I’ve never needed someone as much as I need you. I can’t promise I’ll stop doing stupid shit in the future, but I hope to God you’ll be there, right with me, as I’m doing them. So… Eddie Kaspbrak, will you marry me?”
- at this point, Eddie is already crying, and he says “Of course you stupid idiot. Of course I’ll marry you, yes.”
- Richie kisses him over and over all the while continuing to say “I love you, I love you,” and Eddie can’t even speak he’s so emotional right now
- the rest of the Losers all say “Fucking finally,” when they announce the news the next day
- 20 anniversaries later and they’ve never been more in love, in their new home with their two children running around the house happily
Star Wars and toxic masculinity though, I’m sorry, but what? Are we watching the same movies? They have a pretty clear message: Anger is the path to the Dark Side. If you want to be a hero, don’t go around getting angry and being violent, you have to be nice. Kind. Understanding. That’s kind of a central message. And it runs very much counter to the whole angry, prone to violence, emotionless macho thing.
That’s shown in the characters as well, because we’ve got some really big tough no-emotion macho hero types there, let’s review:
Luke Skywalker, bleeding heart idealist, has a lot of feelings and shows all of them. Whines about wanting to see his friends. Cries when upset or in pain. Appeals to people’s conscience, does the right thing, big on calming your mind and listening to your heart. Makes friends with everyone immediately, can’t hate anyone for longer than two minutes. Does not hesitate to rush headlong into danger, but can’t necessarily save the day with fighting prowess. Cares deeply about everyone. If you could be friends with any character, I’d recommend this one.
Han Solo, resident idiot, has many feelings and tries to hide them, everyone knows anyway. Will glance broodily around so that you can tell he’s upset or conflicted. Really wants to talk to the girl he likes about her feelings, but has no idea how. Says he doesn’t care, continually runs straight into danger to save the people he cares about. Doesn’t even try to look tough in the face of torture, immediately starts screaming, would never say “it’s just a scratch”. Constantly needs help, always barely one step ahead of total disaster, definitely not your knight in shining armour.
Lando Calrissian, actual ladies’ man, charming and suave, arguably the closest we get to a fuckboy except not because he totally respects Leia. Shows polite interest, does not push or manipulate when he realises that she’s not interested, despite the fact that this happens very subtly. Does not hesitate to do the right thing, loyal to his friends, even at great personal cost. Also does not hesitate to follow Leia’s orders, and not because he thinks it’ll get him laid.
Anakin Skywalker, drama queen extraordinaire, has far too many feelings and most of them make him cry. May seem a little whiny. Always wants to talk about his feelings, readily shares them with anyone who’ll stand still for long enough. Loves very deeply and is not afraid to show it. Gets very angry, but this is shown to be a Bad Thing. Gets too attached to the point of obsession, which is also shown to be a Bad Thing.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, drama queen support group, is a lot better at keeping his feelings under control but still has them. Will absolutely cry at emotional moments (possibly because he is tired). Understands everyone, even if he kind of wishes he didn’t. His need to be rescued by Anakin is a running joke, but not in a way that demeans him as a man, or a person. Makes snarky quips to reassure himself. Knew all along that This Is A Terrible Idea. Definitely the Mom Friend.
Palpatine, the big bad, an evil nightmare of a man. Literally uses his anger and hatred as a power source. Enjoys torture and violence, wants to corrupt the hero with hatred and anger. Likes to pretend he knows everything, needs no help, thinks love and friendship are weakness. Has no friends. Employs no women (in the movies). Shows no emotion except smug superiority, anger, and, briefly, panic. Ultimately defeated by the power of love and forgiveness, which serves him right.
Star Wars very explicitly portrays excessive anger and violence as BAD, and caring and understanding as GOOD. The guys are allowed to cry, they all need rescuing at various points and they aren’t “less” for it. They work together with women, as partners and equals. When Anakin finds out that Padmé is pregnant, he doesn’t roll his eyes or get cold feet, he’s delighted. He’s excited to be a father and start a family. The only disparaging comment I can think of that any guy makes about women in the movies is Han’s “If we can avoid any more female advice” which is followed by Leia telling him to shut up and do what he’s told, and Han grumbling and doing what he’s told. So that plays more like Han trying desperately to find some way of getting back at Leia because he does not like being told what to do, and immediately losing another round.
We see Han trying to get Leia to admit how she feels about him, while Leia is more concerned about getting him to join the cause. We see Padmé trying to be practical and focus on the mission while Anakin can’t shut up about his feelings. We see Luke saving the day not by being the ultimate badass macho fighter man, but by appealing to his father’s conscience, his love, the good in Anakin Skywalker. We see plenty of instances of men asking for help and accepting help, showing emotion without being judged or fear of being judged, wanting love and family, etc. We also see romantic rivalry between Han and Luke, and Han and Lando, that does not turn into any kind of “fight” for Leia’s affections, because it’s Leia’s choice and they all know and respect that. In fact, the three guys are friends and stay that way.
All of that is the opposite of toxic masculinity, as far as I can tell.
If anything, the prequel trilogy is a cautionary tale about the importance of
keeping your emotions, especially your anger, in check, and the original trilogy is basically how to do it right. Darth
Vader is not portrayed as some kind of masculine ideal to strive for, he’s the bad guy.
Luke, with his emotional openness and explicit refusal to give in to anger and hatred and violence, is the good guy. Luke is a character you can show to a little kid and say “this is a hero”.
I guess if you twist it enough you can see sexism and toxic masculinity in everything, and I’m not saying these movies are perfect. They have plenty of problems. But when it comes to portrayals of male heroism (and villainy), I think they’re actually pretty damn good.
Hey guys💛 so I just want to apologize for the first version of this. Her skin came out a lot paler than it looked when I was coloring it on photoshop and I don’t know why. I had no intention of white washing her.
Heres to the girls who’s hearts were broken by a man long before any boy got ahold of it.
Heres to the girls who believe that they can’t be loved because the one man who was supposed to always love them didn’t.
Heres to the girls who can’t stay in a relationship because all they were ever taught was how to leave one.
Heres to the girls who are in an abusive relationship and don’t know it because it’s what they grew up seeing.
Heres to the girls who can’t trust men because the man they were supposed to always be able to count on left.
Heres to the girls who are scared to have kids because they never want their kids to face the same pain they had to endure.
Heres to the girls who refuse to say they have a dad because all their father ever was is a man who helped create them.
You’re not my dad, you’re just the man who helped create me// 4am
So like, I learned that Cor is five whole years younger than Regis and I was just like, “What in the world Cor.”
I learned that Cor was like, thirteen when he joined the Crownsguard and then fifteen, he started working for the kings and like, he served King Mor (Regis’ dad!?) as his bodyguard and then went to become Regis’ advisor/driver/personal babysitter like Ignis is to Noct (I think?).
Cor “I don’t give a crap” Leonis decided to fight some kind of undying warrior death reaper and, not only lives, but also cuts off his arm and now the dude keeps Cor’s sword as like, a souvenir of their meeting!?
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL COR!?
He then gets the moniker “The Immortal”. At fifteen. Goes back and is like, “Yeah, kinda have to work on the whole ‘not die’ thing so I guess I will be careful now.” and then serves King Regis.
And I come with this all to say:
Can anyone else imagine Cor still doing school, like he would be in highschool, and just, doing his homework while Regis is doing his duties and like, Regis comes and tries to procrastinate via helping Cor with homework because Cor can take on a thousand undead warriors, slice off the undying warrior’s arm, come back alive, guard two kings but can’t figure out how to substitute systems of equations!?
“Cor, what are you getting all frustrated over?”
“Nothing Your Highness.”
“Oh come on, I can help. I took Algebra too, once. Let me see.”
*shows him the problem*
“Ah, I hated these things.”
“I just don’t understand.”
*the next three hours are spent on Algebra instead of anything else*