man that mirror was a douchebag

What Punk Rockers Might Have Been Like On Facebook (this is kind of a joke sorry):

Joe Strummer would have probably posted political photos, news pages, and videos- and maybe even a few rants on politics- that could’ve gotten likes from his band members who were actually interested as opposed to his friends who weren’t. Every once in a while, there might be some lyrics he’s been working on.

Mick Jones would’ve been the drama queen and the selfie queen. He would have a whole album for pictures entitled “Me” full of 74 selfies. There would also be rants about his band members picking on him for being late to practice with his frappacinos talking about how they didn’t care that he was “sensitive” and also a few “why isn’t anyone liking my selfies” statuses. His facebook page would practically be his diary and his bandmates would hate it. 

Paul Simonon would have 1 profile picture that was a little blurry and didn’t even look like him. He wouldn’t have any pictures of himself other than that one and almost no information about himself except for maybe that he is male and single. There would be hardly any status updates and the ones he posted would be very mundane and a little confusing. He would probably stalk his bandmates’ facebooks though.

Topper Headon would probably share Joe’s political photos, like all of Mick’s statuses just to tease him- never the selfies though- and all of Paul’s statuses just because he could. He would probably make a post right before he went to work out and afterwards talk about how much he worked out and all the karate he does. 

I put Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen together because they would be the facebook couple- and you know which one I’m talking about. There would be endless amounts of selfies and kissing pictures and statuses about how much they love each other. They would probably tag each other in every status they post and annoy almost every one of their facebook friends. Aside from posting about each other, Sid would probably post a few- decent and not douchebag title worthy- selfies for a profile picture and pictures of every meal he partakes. Nancy would post many half-naked selfies to assure everyone that she is attractive.

Steve Jones would post a lot of shirtless mirror selfies to in fact show that he is a ladies man. His profile pictures would include those selfies along with pictures of him with as many girls as he could get a picture with because that is how Steve rolls.

John Lydon would stalk everyone- especially Ari Up to make sure she wasn’t getting herself into trouble- and would absolutely not be ashamed of it. Any pictures of himself would probably not be selfies and he might occasionally share some of the political things posted by Joe Strummer. John’s statuses would be full of witty comments about his friends and family that could at times be insulting, but always funny.

The king of friend selfies would be Paul Cook. Almost every single picture of him would probably be with Steve Jones who might untag himself in said pictures because they weren’t hot enough for him. Paul’s statuses would usually be checking in somewhere and he’d probably tag all his bandmates in it.

Glen Matlock would have a fair share of selfies- not on a douchebag level, though- that his mother would comment and tell him that they didn’t look like him, which would result in numerous comments from his bandmates teasing him. He would also probably post lots of artsy looking pictures of his bass that were too impressive not to like. On average, his statuses would get likes from two people: Malcolm McLaren and his mother.

Ari Up’s statuses would all be in German and all be rants on the fact that she is single or currently going through a breakup. There wouldn’t be any likes or comments because nobody on there who spoke German would want to say anything. There would be some selfies with Nina Hagen which would probably end up as her profile pictures.

There would be endless breakup statuses about Mick Jones from Viv Albertine about how trapped he made her feel and how she’s glad she’s out of that relationship but she still misses him. There wouldn’t be any comments or likes because everyone would probably scroll past. She wouldn’t be ignored on facebook though: her tasteful and occasional selfies would get many likes from many people.

Patti Smith’s facebook would scream arty. Every single status would be a poem brilliantly written and beautiful that would get quite a few likes from her friends who enjoy her music. There would also be quite a few artistic selfies- maybe posted from instagram. She would be facebook popular for her mysterious artistic taste.

Joey Ramone would post a lot of pictures of his cats and all his selfies would be Joey ft. his cats. There would also be statuses of his cats that no one would understand.

Malcolm McLaren would be the ultimate facebook stalker just so he could know all the hot gossip about the bands he manages. He would have a small collection of selfies and would also be the one you’d get numerous FarmVille notifications from.