man sandwich

So, the gang is wandering in a mysterious haunted mansion, when they find the best clue of all...

…a cheeseburger!

But then Velma says…

“See those claw marks? The ape man was eating this sandwich!”

Um… well, no, I don’t actually see any claw marks, but I’ll take your word for it.

Soon, they decide it couldn’t have been the ape man’s since apes don’t eat meat… and that rule apparently applies to mysterious ape men that were previously unknown to science. So, Freddy says…

“It’s ok, Shaggy. You can eat it.”

…because if you find a half-eaten burger with weird marks on it that’s been sitting on the floor of a dusty mansion for an indeterminable amount of time, but it wasn’t the bad guy’s burger, it’s ok to eat.

Food poisoning only comes from bad guy food.

Finally, though, Freddy interjects…

“Ok, let’s split up and search for this ape man who eats hamburgers!”

…and in an instant, I knew this was the best sentence ever written by mankind.

Yesterday I was on club penguin for like half an hour (along with a shameless hour and a half on psa missions) and in that time I witnessed
–two anti-trump protests
–one pro-trump protest
–someone saying the entire bee movie script line for line
–a penguin named Sandwich Man discussing the meaning of existence, turning invisible, then saying “I must leave. Farewell, my pupils.”

“Animated Me” - Al Yankovic

(Incoming Appearance this coming Monday: Dr. Screwball Jones (located in second row at 4th box to the right), Wander’s hated nemesis up there with recently friendship-rejected villain, Lord Dominator, in Wander Over Yonder Season 2: The Boy Wander)

  • *Sun and Neptune, 10 years old, lunch time*
  • Neptune: Aw man
  • Sun: What is it?
  • Neptune: Billy's coming here for my lunch again.
  • Sun: He won't get it IF I STEAL IT FIRST
  • Sun: *takes Neptune's sandwich*
  • Billy: *gets to him and takes the sandwich*
  • Billy: You thought a filthy animal like you would be a match to me? Gimme!
  • Sun: Hey, aight man.
  • Billy: *eats whole sandwich in seconds*
  • Billy's face: *red, redder, red as blood*
  • Sun: I hope you like Ghost Peppers. Because I did, and I put some in that sandwich
  • Billy: *passes out and mouth starts wathering*
  • Neptune: Thanks bro
  • Sun: No prob!
  • Professor Strongarm: KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS
  • Neptune & Sun: AW MAN.

anonymous asked:

Bought my man an ice cream sandwich today and he was gonna get me a free scoop with his coupon on his phone. The app started to not load on his phone so I told him just forget about it and bought the ice cream sandwich for him instead of getting anything. When we exited the store, he told me it was my fault and that I should have downloaded the app and not made him "do everything". I told him he should have had the app ready while I was driving us there so he threw the ice cream sandwich. 😑

Originally posted by dehaans