man on dog

the signs as fake quotes my weird cousin has attributed to famous authors

aries: as oscar Wilde once famously said, ‘fuck men’

taurus: i believe it was percy shelley who wrote ‘why cry over spilled milk when instead u could cry over everything

gemini: you can lead a horse to water, but u can’t make the horse drink that fucking water if it wants vodka instead. sun tzu said that.

cancer: y’know, steinbeck once screamed ‘death to capitalism’ while setting himself on fire, and i couldn’t agree more.

leo: i was trying to think of a hemingway quote, but thankfully i just remembered that i don’t give a shit about hemingway

virgo: Flintstone vitamins are for losers. William shakespeare.

libra: did you know that that nicki minaj took the lyrics “i beez in the trap” straight from jane austen’s iconic 1813 novel pride and Prejudice?

scorpio: maya angelou actually invented the acronym NSFW, did u know that? 'Not Safe From Whites’. they’re coming

sagittarius: the most inspirational thing walt whitman ever said was ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ that man was a poet

capricorn: ‘be there or be…gay! lol jk don’t be gay’ ~ the bible, chapter 5 verse 17

aquarius: honey, as Faulkner said once, ‘eat shit mark twain’. words to live by

pisces: nietzsche once said that dante was a ‘hyena that wrote poetry on tombs’ and i’m not making that shit up because nothing is funnier than that

me: *gets someone to watch my favorite anime*

me: “I can’t wait for them to see my favorite character”

me: *remembers favorite character is an asshole*

me: …….

me: “I can’t wait to defend my favorite character”

“no the dogs made it”

/

this whole scene and everything with magnus’ death hit me real hard just,, having a happy ending like this healed my soul. i’m so happy for them. everything ended up good, and that means a lot.

When people ask me why do I get all obsessed over cartoons and fictional characters:

Me:  Because I can? 

Originally posted by giphygiff

me: *sees posts about an anime*

me: “maybe i’ll check it out”

me: *watches one episode*

me: “I have made a horrible mistake”

me: *binge watches entire anime*

me: *reads entire manga*

me:…

me: *repeats cycle* 

Pets The Avengers Would Have

(im gonna kms because i was over halfway done with this and then i accidentally closed my browser so take 2 lol)

Thor: A corgi. Don’t even fight me on this.

Tony: A Siamese cat. Compulsively got her after Pepper left. Acts like he doesn’t care that much about her but you can bet your ass that he sits her in the kitchen counter stool next to his when he has his morning coffee. She follows him everywhere.

Steve: A beagle probably. Names it something patriotic like Liberty or America (Meri for short)

Wanda: a min-Rex Bunny. Must I explain?

Clint. He wanted a hawk but Nat (and literally everyone else) told him it was a terrible idea because 1, birds are hard to care for as is and 2, it’s a hawk. out of retaliation he goes to the shelter and picks up the ugliest dog he can find; a pug. He didn’t plan on keeping him for very long, only until the others gave in and agreed to the hawk. But the bug-eyed cutie grew on Clint, and he would rather shoot an arrow through his foot than get rid of him.

(^that’s my dog btw ha if you call her ugly i will literally fucking kill you)

Nat: Getting tired of Vision nagging about how having a pet companion boosts your mental health by blah-blah-percent, she went and got the simplest and cheapest pet she could, a beta fish. She admits to liking the colors of the fish to the others, but behind closed doors she also talks to the little guy, and likes the simple one-sided conversations they have when she’s getting ready for bed.

Bruce: a small gecko or lizard. Something that can stay in his lab without disrupting anything and can keep him company. Will sometimes put it on his head or shoulder when he’s working (never when chemicals are out though)

Bucky: Dogs. Good God. I can’t name a single breed because he brings home so many. Any time he leaves the HQ he coaxes any strays he sees to follow him home. He can’t leave the HQ without someone going with him because they know he’ll bring home strays. He’s drowning in dogs. Help him.