‘I meet a woman, fall in love with her or we simply find we’re compatible; she agrees to live with me; a child comes or does not come in the order of things and that, for me, is marriage - by whatever name. Mutual consent. And to be mutually dissolved if it comes to that, with a moslem-style simplicity at its best.
To you that’s heresy but, that’s the code by which I live. For me, it’s the genuine bond, not church or court registry, not even the traditional ties or exchange of vows in any idiom. What people call formal marriage has no meaning for me; it never has.
When I see a man and woman contentedly together, I don’t ask for their marriage certificate. It’s sufficient for me that they consider themselves married to each other, that they’re content to be together, that they accept responsibility for anything they bring into the world, and continue to do so even if the union collapses…’
Wole Soyinka | Ibadan:The Penkelemes Years