[redo of one I submitted,Tumblr is shitty] Controll your kid please
This woman comes in with her husband and kids 20 minutes before closing time,we tell her that we’re closing soon but she ignores us and sits herself down,these kids decide to run around the restaurant ,throw our menus around and hide under the tables.None of us can do anything because store policy is we can’t touch kids.The parents do nothing and we’re left pissed,a few minutes pass and it’s 5 minutes till closing,the restaurant is empty and we’re trying to clean.One of these kids gets under my co-worker and spits on her pants,then runs away laughing.I go to the parents and tell them that it’s 5 minutes before we close and they should probably get going. This woman throws a fucking fit and says “NO! I WANT DESSERT AND I’LL GET DESSERT,NOW!” I politely tell her that the chefs have cleaned up and are now heading home so we can’t do anything,she screams “TELL THEM TO COME BACK”,I tell her we can’t tell them to come back and she has to leave,(these kids are still throwing a ruckus),the man looks embarrassed and tries to get the kids to calm down,this woman screams “HENRY(not his real name,using a fake one) STOP GETTING THEM TO THE CAR WE’RE GETTING DESSERT”,The man says that they have to leave because we’re closing,this woman throws a huge fucking fit and says she’s not leaving,the man escorts her out and my co-workers and I give eachother a “fuck this” glance.
Oh and wanna know something NEAT,one of these kids pissed and shit on the floor 🙃
Tldr:Crazy ass woman comes in before closing,her kids are throwing shit and one of them shits and pisses on the floor leaving my co-worker and I to clean that shit up
8:50. Avery glances at the bill and goes down to his car to
retrieve his conveniently forgotten wallet.
8:59. Malfoy goes down to see what’s keeping him.
9:29. Nott slips out to answer an important call.
9:44. Mulciber dons his coat to take a piss.
9:51. Severus excuses himself for a quick fag, and Lily is
left sitting alone at their table with a growing sense of suspicion.
9:53. Lily finally convinces herself to look at the bill,
and her stomach drops to her knees.
11:41. “Ma’am?” the waitress asks, and Lily was sure she’d
seen the worst of the girl’s frown, but she was wrong.
“A-another glass, please,” she mumbles, and the waitress’
eye roll and impatient huff says it all. There are eight or nine completely
full glasses in a little grove in front of her already, and she doesn’t exactly have a plan of action, but at
least this is buying her more time.
herself more time, with money she doesn’t have.
“Of course,” the waitress spits, and sweeps away.
This close to midnight, Lily’s fairly confident they’d like
to shut up shop shortly. She tears her eyes away from the frankly excessive
amount of wine sitting full in front her, and glances around the previously
bustling dining hall. She almost, almost
pegs herself as the last diner, but there’s a man about her age on the other
side of the room. He has a dozen or so desserts scattered around him, each as
untouched as every one of her wine glasses. He gives her a tight smile as they
make eye contact, and turns back to his food, pensive. Lily does the same.
Pairing: Jerome Valeska/Joker x Reader x Peter Parker/Spiderman.
AU included: DC/MARVEL. Possible Suicide Squad.
Prompt: You had enough with Jerome as he keeps seducing other girls in front of you so you plan to leave him and go to New York. Where you will find yourself stuck in the web of another bug who will fall in love with you.
Hey guys! long time no see, and yes I am back! This past few months have been horrible and tiring. I decided to take a 2 weeks break from tumblr because I’m failing in class (DAMN YOU QUADRATIC EQUATIONS!) then when I’m done I forgot my password literally! And when I’m done changing it my laptop broke! Which I mind you this draft was in that laptop so I’m really sorry guys! I promise to update more forgive me! ;-;
There were many reasons for you to hate the Joker based on your perspective point of view and one of them includes his antics and psychotic thinking. So expect his plans gruesome, it would be fun to say at least to be applied to others but now. His victim is you.
“Did you miss me, darling?” he chortled and moved forward along with the other members beside him.
He looked the same but there are most definitely major changes, for example. His face, it was stapled on his head. His outfit too, from ‘The boy from Prison’ to ‘A Ringmaster that would kill you’.
Bucky pushed you further away, both of his pistols with a silencer plugged in aimed towards the man. “Tell me, (Y/N). Is this Jerome?” Your body jolted, you once expressed the story to Bucky about Jerome but it seems like he didn’t care at all at that time. Fact-wise, you didn’t knew that Bucky cared about you a lot throughout the weeks and even included you to one of his dear companions inside his mind. He is just reluctant since he fear that the Winter Soldier inside him would rise once again so suddenly, so he distanced himself away from you.
“Yes.” You managed to stammer out at your condition.
“You’re a strong girl (Y/N), now run and call help.”
You stared at Bucky like he was nuts, your mind started to advocate and theorize saying that there’s a possibility that if you escaped Bucky could die, Jerome could outsmart you, and many more. But looking at his pleading brown eyes told you to run. So you did, and boy you were fast. You were guilty of leaving Bucky alone but he was right, you don’t have any weapons that you are specialized around except the gun that Bucky held so to help him, you need to contact the other Avengers fast. Jerome glared at Bucky, curious who he is and annoyed. “The chicken run because of you, what are you to order her around? Her lover?” his roar full of laughter but when he said the last one, his teeth clenched together and his eyebrows furrowed.
Bucky averted his attention towards the group; he noticed that members aren’t the former MANIAX. Rather one of the new groups that escaped the prison a few days ago. “Hey, isn’t five against one a little unfair?” Bucky frowned.
“Nothing is fair in a game with me in it.”
Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed, “Well let’s play that game of yours now shall we.”
Jerome clapped, without emotion plastered on his face and bowed as if a show is about to start. He brought out a flip phone and typed rather fast, “Now if you excuse me I need to call one of my clients and let this buffoons take care of you for a minute.” He smirked and walked towards one of the picnic table and sat on it smiling as if he was innocent.
One of the crocodile looking puffed, “We’re not buffoons.”
“Now, now mate. I say we should kill this greasy lad first. Any tic of the clock and he’ll be dead before the dessert.” A man with a boomerang said, grinning. A person in color sighed and glanced at one bald man full of tattoos, “You joining little guy?”
“No,” the bald man said with a thick accent.
“This would be hard.” Bucky murmured under his breath.
“Yes? ~” A chirpy voice greeted as the person saw you running towards the bathroom, locking it. The female smiled and blew a gum as it popped and munched it once again.
“I need you to bring me (Y/N) fresh and alive, get it?”
The female giggled; “So when I do this you’ll take me on a date?” she could hear Jerome grumble at the other side of the line. “Just get her.” The phone call ended as it beeped. The female stretched her body and placed her phone in her pocket, her bat dangling on her shoulders.
“You bet’cha pudding, alive and fresh. But I won’t promise no bruises~!”
You gasped for air, thinking in a flash. You brought out your phone and dialed Peter fast, “Com’on, com’on” you muttered in frustration and within few seconds it ended. You dialed once again and fortunately he answered this time.
“(Y/N)! Did you manage to get out—-“
“No time to explain,” you grasped your phone as if your life depended on it “Go to the picnic or field whatever the name of that grassland son of a bitch in your school! Bucky needs you more than I do!”
“Harley Quinn is here!” A lard bang could be heard outside the room, a nemesis was trying to enter the room. “What’s that?!” you could hear Peter ask and him wearing his suit. You ended the call.
The bathroom isn’t the best hiding place to hide in the game of hide n’ seek, you thought. Because of panicking too much you didn’t even think about the possibilities so you won’t let anxiety took over you. Thinking fast you closed all of the stalls and entered the last one, locking it then climbing out of the stall with the support of the toilet seat. You closed the stall that you fled with and under the sink there were small closets so you entered the one near the door so you could escape her hopefully when she bashed the last stall. You just hoped you outsmarted her on this one.
After few seconds you could hear the wooden door bashed as footsteps erupted.
“Where could you be?” you could almost feel the smile she is wearing now, how you despised it.
“You know,” her voice fainted “Puddin’ asked me to fetch ye up undead.”
You could hear her pass the hiding spot you were in, you covered your mouth.
“He still loves you,” you could hear her chuckle “and that makes me feel disgusted” Harley kicked the first stall openly; she was trying to give a thrill like all the horror movies she watched with Jerome. Obviously she isn’t dumb enough to see you peeking on her so she just pretended not noticing a single thing.
“You know why he wants you alive?” she swings her bat towards another stall.
“Because he still fucking loves you.”
“He still loves me?” Harley kicked open the second to last stall as you closed your hiding spot slowly. The room ceased down which made you confused.
“Yeah, he still loves you. Not.”
In just a matter of second an insane looking woman you dragged out off your hiding spot. “I won’t promise that there’s no bruises darling!” You tried scratch her and hit her, which didn’t work, it made her slow but not enough for you to escape. Even though you were a former serial killer that didn’t mean that you were good enough to battle Harley because she is more experienced than you.
“A-ah! Sweet cheeks, Harley is about to blow your mind!” Harley shoved you towards the dirty wall. Your head shook as the cemented wall made an impact on your head and by impact it meant a lot. You’re eyes slowly giving up on you as your body twitched a little.
“And by saying that phrase I meant literally.”
The only thing you saw next was a baseball bat moving fast towards the side of your face.
Can I get a Daveed fic pls? 28 - Love confession alongside 28 - “If I kissed you right now, what would you do?”
“So Rafa tells me you’re pretty cool.” You smile as you approach the man standing by the dessert table. He’s tall and his hair hangs around his face in braided tresses. He wears a flat billed had with a circular tree symbol embellished on the front. He smiles as you speak to him, teeth showing bright behind his grin.
“And he could never begin to describe how pretty you are.” He replies smoothly, causing a blush to spread over your cheeks. “Daveed.” He holds out his hand, prompting you to shake and your name falls from your lips with barely a stutter as you do so.
“What would you do if I kissed you right now?” Daveed asks, speaking barely above the volume of his own breath.
The room had gone dark, the music ending with the lights and pumping air conditioning. By now, the alarmed yelling of the crowd around you had died down. The pitch blackness is only accompanied by quiet conversations while people wait for the power to return.
“I don’t know.” You reply truthfully. “Do it.” You dare, a shot of thrilling energy pumps through your veins and you wait a few seconds unsure of what he will do.
He follows your orders and you feel yourself floating from the ground, inflated by his lips against yours, defying gravity with merely a kiss.
“I love you.” You blurt. You don’t know how else, or when else to say it. You love him.
He stares at you for a moment, silent while he waits for his head to wrap around what you’ve just told him. You love him? Without a doubt, he knows what his response will be, but the words don’t come out of his mouth.
“You don’t have to say it back.” You begin, “I just… wanted you to know.”
“I love you.” He finally echoes you, declaring the words as a complete mirror of your own. “I love you too.” He repeats.
“Do you, Daveed Diggs, take Y/N L/N as your lawfully wedded spouse?”
“I do.” He slips the ring onto your finger, holding onto your hand a few seconds before dropping it.
“And do you, Y/N, take Daveed Diggs as your lawfully wedded spouse?”
“I do.” You feel tears streaming down your cheeks as you put the ring on his finger. You grin up at him excitedly, suddenly unsure whether or not you’re dreaming.
“You may kiss.” The officiant finishes decisively.
Your hand cups Daveed’s cheek as you kiss, and his scruff tickles your palm. With his hand securely against your lower back, he dips you and brings you back upright before finally breaking the kiss, a beam on his face that perfectly mirrors your own.
I guess this is kind of three situations but it was sorta the only way I could think to put them together. I hope you liked it!
Which of the lords would do a fake proposal in order to get a free dessert (modern au)
No one asked for this, no one wanted this. Except me. And because I have no self control whatsoever, here we are. (i won’t be doing kenshin or shingen, unfortunately, because I know almost nothing about those two. Sorry!!)
Nobunaga: Are you kidding me? This man would kill a man for free dessert, let alone fake proposing to someone. And he doesn’t just fake propose to MC, he fake proposes to Hideyoshi, to Mitsuhide (much to his chagrin). Nobu will get his dessert, guys.
Mitsuhide: Nope. He’s not big on desserts or deceiving people so he wouldn’t be the type to do it. Despite Nobu dragging him to places and proposing to him. Poor Mitsuhide has to pretend to be thrilled to marry this idiot when all he secretly wants to do is stab him with his fork.
Yukimura: Okay this boy blushes whenever MC talks to him. He’d probably be on his way to passing out when he proposes for real. No way he’d be able to actually get the words out, even if it was just for free dessert. I think he’d try if MC asked him to though.
Saizo: Change desserts to dango and yeah, that boy would probably actually propose to you if it meant free dango. But otherwise, for just desserts, well it’s gotta be a special type of desert or otherwise I don’t really see it.
Masamune: Nah. He really only likes your cooking and desserts anyways so it’s not like you eat out often. If you guys do, he’s more than happy to pay for a dessert for you to both share. No need to deceive. Plus he plans on proposing for real anyways.
Kojuro: He was fake engaged to the MC in canon so as to avoid the nagging of his family. He’ll do it for free dessert. I’m not sure if he is a desert person tho? So he might just do it for MC’s sake lmao
Ieyasu: Make it a strawberry dessert then hell fucking yeah my dudes. He’d probably do this whole elaborate beautiful proposal and MC is sitting here like what the fuck is he actually proposing oh my fucking god. Then he whispers to “stop gaping like a damn fish and say yes. I’m only doing this for the free dessert they give out,” Poor MC is just like ouch okay.
Hideyoshi: Of course he would, as long as MC is okay with it. Ya’ll can laugh about it later. It’ll be great. I could actually just see him just going from restaurant to restaurant with the MC, Nobu, and Inuchiyo. Who gets proposed to who? It’s a surprise each time tbh.
Inuchiyo: I’m not sure, honestly. The only way I see him doing this is if he’s just going along with either Nobu or Hide (or even the MC) and he’s just like why is this my life I hate all you people leave me alone
prisons everywhere suck, but how would you say Russian ones compare to USA ones? From what you know
It will be hard to believe, but Russian ones are better. At least, in some ways. They are more liberate. Most of inmates have cellphones. They are not allowed oficially, but unoficially no one cares. So inmates and their loved ones don’t have to pay bunch of money to stay in touch. Prisons allow relatives (or any person whatsoever) to send or bring food
to inmates (up to 30 kilograms a month), so they don’t have to overpay for food/necessities in canteen.
And just a prison photo for dessert. The man you see is Maxim Valishin who is serving time for a murder of a teenage girl (read here). Pictures he was posting online sparked public outrage because many people saw that he lives as if he is on a long and paid vacation, not in prison.
Having said all that, prison is prison. Corruption can be a huge problem here. And prisons for lifers can be quite harsh too.
Here it was. The Saturday we
agreed on. I was going to go on a real date with a guy. And with the adorable
Scott. And I don’t know what got into me these last few weeks. 3 weeks ago, I
would’ve laughed in your face if you told me I’d be going on a date with a guy
and stuffing my face with pastries out of nerves beforehand. I guess therapy
was really changing me. I took the final bite out of the cherry Danish and
thought though the entire date one more time in my head. I’d go to his
apartment. I’d ring the knock on the door. He’d open it. He’d have dinner set
up in his dining room. We’d talk while eating. But then what? That’s the part
that gave me anxiety. The fact that it could go anywhere after that. And I
certainly wasn’t ready for that.
I found the nearby alarm clock,
and noticed it was still only 3:18. There was still almost 3 hours until I was
supposed to be there. Hungry still and with butterflies that made me feel
slightly sick, I saw the mostly full box of ensure. I stumbled out of bed, sat
on the floor and cut it open without restraint. In an uncharacteristically
savage mood, I chugged the whole carton down and felt tightness on my stomach.
It actually felt kinda enjoyable. So, I continued with one more. My typically
concave stomach seemed like it bulged out ever so slightly. Confused, I
realized that I liked how it looked and felt. Dr. Philipps would be proud.
I jumped into the shower, finding
it impossible to get my hands off my temporary curves around my midsection,
completely fixated on how it felt. I dried off, and put on a size medium slim
fit green button-down and size 30x34 black slacks. Being tall, but lanky, this
outfit usually fit baggy on my tiny frame. That day though, it looked sexy, as
if it was actually made to fit my body perfectly. I finished the look with a
belt, even though it wasn’t really necessary. I combed my hair a little
differently, and put on my citrus cologne. I usually loved it, but it reminded
me of Scott’s licorice scent, and also lemon pound cakes, because those are the
Well I was completely ready, but
it was still over an hour to go. I scanned the room once, then twice, and finally
a third time, making sure that I was bringing everything I needed and that
everything else was in its proper place. I couldn’t fix my roommate’s crap, as
much as I wish I could clean the entire place out. I did that once, and he
wasn’t pleased. Finally, I looked up at the Virgin Mary plaque in the corner I
set up. I immediately fell to my knees, shameful. I guess I was already
embarking on an impure mission.
“Heavenly Father and all the
saints, please forgive me. I know I’m disobeying you. Take mercy on me, Lord.”
Again, I did that 3 times, still
feeling a bit uneasy. I checked my watch. 5:12. I still had plenty of time to
walk across town and pick up flowers, before heading to Scott’s place. As I
headed to the store, I recognized the woman standing on the front porch. It was
my (ex) best friend Kelly’s friend from her nursing classes, Liz. This was going
to be an unavoidable confrontation.
“Hey there! Justin, right?”
“Yup”, I looked down at her. “How
are you, Liz?”
“Oh, I’m great. Things with me
and Greg are going so nicely! Just picking up flowers for our date this
I suddenly realized, that was
probably the most obvious reason a 19-year-old would buy flowers. And I was
clearly here on a mission. Liz interrupted my panicked thoughts.
“You look nice too. Better than
the last time I saw you.”
“Yeah, I’ve been doing better. I
guess I’ll see you around. And tell Kelly I’m willing to talk if she wants.”
“Will do. Although I thought with
those flowers…you were going to see her.”
I settled on a vibrant bouquet of
chrysanthemums and promptly paid the $8.95. It felt like such an absolute waste
of money- especially now that I didn’t have a job anymore. But I knew Dr.
Philipps would be proud of me for spending unnecessarily. Plus, it provided
some exercise and something to keep my heart from racing. Hearing that new
Sarah McLachlan song sure seemed to describe what I felt about Scott, that he
was “building a mystery”.
I knew Scott’s apartment was on
the east side of town, but I guess I never really knew what to imagine. I
trekked up the stairs in the austere, black building, all the while reading and
re-reading the notecard he wrote his address and phone number on. It would be
mortifying ringing a stranger’s doorbell. I glanced one last time at the slip,
then the door that matched the 302 address, and then my watch, which read 5:58.
I smiled at how on time I was, and ringed the doorbell.
Scott opened the door, very much
dressed down, and with lightly tousled hair that smelled like that lovely
cologne. He pulled me into a big hug, patting my back.
“I’ll take those from you. But
you really didn’t have to. I’m just glad that you’re here.” He said flashing a
“I’m glad to be here too. You’ve
got a great place.” I said, biting my lip, keeping the part that wanted to
criticize how disorganized it seemed to me inside.
“I’ve got an Italian feast
prepped for you. Pasta puttanesca, garlic bread, some salad, and something special
“Wow, man. It’s only us two. You
trying to fatten me up?”
“Well that’s what the doctor
We both laughed and then sat at
the small table, almost overflowing with food. Scott served healthy servings of
everything on my plate, and then equally large portions on his own.
I gave one last sign of the cross
and a quick prayer- for the food and for what I was about to do. And then
gorged as if I didn’t already eat loads today. I started on the salad, only
eating it out of politeness, as I really didn’t like salad. I then gorged on
the pasta, which was surprisingly hearty and filling, making each mouthful feel
increasingly like a brick.
“This is some great stuff, man.
Wish you cooked for me everyday.”
“I’d like that…”
I gave him a confused look.
“Oh shit, I forgot the wine. I
know that you’re not 21, but is it cool?”
Eating something so hearty made
me thirsty, and I found myself asking for another glass before finishing my
“You really know how to treat a
guy. I’m stuffed.”
“Come on, man. Look at how much
leftovers I still have. You’re gonna get me fat if you don’t eat your equal
I took a quick look at Scott’s
polo, tight not only around the arms and chest, but also lower.
“It might be too late for that” I
watched as his already pale face went ghost white.
“Damn. I thought you were nice…”
“Sorry, man. It’s just some
teasing. Didn’t mean it that way.”
“You’re good, man…I actually like it. The teasing. And the eating til I’m
full. I guess that’s why I haven’t really put an effort to lose this gut.” He
lifted it up from his lap. “Want to touch it?”
Thoughts spinning, I nervously
replied “yeah”. Firmly, his warm hand grabbed my own, and rather than simply
placing it on top of the dome of his gut, he lifted his own polo up and over
the sphere, and pushed my hand into his hairy flesh. It was much softer and
hairier than I imagined. I gave it a squeeze and noticed how that made Scott’s
eyes pop a little more out.
“You like that, big guy?”
He simply nodded, as I stepped up
and out of my chair and brought the whole pot of pasta to the table with a
clunk. I emptied the contents on both our plates, but mostly my own. Not
needing any more words, we dug in into our second helpings. Both of us slowed
down, but without the awkwardness, we kept eating- for each other. I started
feeling the alcohol, and uncharacteristically gave out a laugh out of nowhere.
The big softie, echoed my sentiment, and we just gazed into each other,
completely satisfied. He broke the silence.
“Lemme get the dessert”, Scott
said, rising up, revealing how swollen his body looked, and how tight his
clothes were. He came back with a whole tray of 9 molten lava cakes. Without
asking how many I wanted, he placed 3 on both of our plates.
Delicious, just like all the
other food Scott prepared, it wasn’t too much of a feat, even in my stuffed
stupor to down all three. The guy across the table from me was struggling a
little however, but trying to keep his cool. Finishing mine before his, I
grabbed two more and placed the last one on his plate. He gave me a grunt in
recognition and we both continued eating. Completely packed, we both gave a
huge sigh, as we leaned back in victory. Everything was eaten clean, except for
half of the bowl of salad.
“Good to know that I have another
guy that can keep up with my eating. You really impressed me out there, bud.”
“Thanks, Scott. You impressed me
“Wanna come to my couch?”
My heart racing, despite my
slurred loss of inhibition, “definitely.”
He didn’t even need to turn on
the tv as distraction, instead giving me a complete show. Standing up, he
lifted his arms, as the tight polo, lifted, revealing the bottom of his hairy
gut, and stopping there on the way down. He gave it all a jiggle, and then
simply took it off. I took an audible gasp, as I realized that Scott was
literally everything I wanted physically, something I’d never get from a girl.
His cute grin took me over the top.
“Scott, I think you’re amazing. I
really like you and want to do this again.”
“Good, because that’s exactly
what I was thinking.”
He slowly and gingerly undid
every button off my green shirt, and then took it off entirely, revealing that
I had a small pooch of mostly food overtop my now tight slacks and belt.
Without much effort, the pants came off, along with the belt, until we were
both in just our boxer briefs. We grabbed a blanket, and just lay there on the
couch, the weight of his heavy stomach laying next to mine. The sensation of
his belly was truly euphoric. I felt a sharp prick in my shoulder, and suddenly
my eyes heavy and my whole perception suddenly black.