man and shark

The Signs as 2004 Films
  • Aries: Shrek 2
  • Taurus: A Cinderella Story
  • Gemini: Spider-Man 2
  • Cancer: Shark Tale
  • Leo: 13 Going on 30
  • Virgo: The Incredibles
  • Libra: Ella Enchanted
  • Scorpio: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  • Sagittarius: Anchorman
  • Capricorn: The Notebook
  • Aquarius: Saw
  • Pisces: Mean Girls
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nhl: What’s better?
1. The beard
2. The man bun
3. The puck control

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O-M-G 😨😱😲 i love her! Thaaaanks for THAT!

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

MissMuffetSpider!Rhys (Rhack)

XD Damn. I spent all day. Just on this. I’m sure there are mistakes. But whatevs. Have fun with it anyway. 

@jennpy, isn’t this cuuuute? X3 

@foxbox97, look at what you’ve caused. XD AHHHH. Take responsibility!

@sketchy-shark-art, I can fluff. I SWEAR. (Kinda of. Since Jack has lewd thoughts but it’s mostly him acting like a nervous teenage boy around a cute girl he likes.) [Still working on plant Jack] 


“You mean to tell me… they made another spider?” The Handsome Spider scoffed from his most cherished banana tree whilst hanging upside down with arms crossed.

“Sounds a bit redundant to me. I mean, we have me. Another spider just sounds… crowded. Speaking of crowded…” He eyed pointedly at his mother’s assistants that had made the grave mistake of entering his citrus grove with her. 

The trio of aides huddled frightened as close as they could to Dr. Jen’s back who could feel them shivering in terror under Jack’s annoyed gaze. The mismatched orbs narrowed down at them as if contemplating whether or not to change hunting tactics from wild beasts to helpless civilians. Not that Dr. Jen had anything to worry about. She knew her baby knew better than to raise a hand to mommy.

Oh. He knew better.

“There is another spider, dear. And they want you to meet them,” she sighed, not entirely liking the idea of exposing her banana child to some unknown specimen, “But you don’t sound too interested so I’ll just cancel for you!”

Jack noticed the sudden airy relief in her tone at the notion of cancelling the meet so naturally his rebellious attitude was spurred. He dropped suddenly, landing with a strength that had one of aide’s nearly wetting themselves. Dr. Jen scrunched her nose as it appeared they already had by the new odor wafting around them. Ugh. Damn greenhorns.

“Actually, I’m all about seeing people, getting to know ‘em, and hey maybe this new guy might need to know how things work around here. I could be a… a mentor to him. A guide,” suggested the spider smoothly as he closed in on them which had all the assistants latching onto the lead doctor’s lab coat in sheer terror.

“Will you stop it?! Ah! He’s a sweetheart! If you can’t handle this then I’ll just throw you into the orca chamber!” she threatened to which they quickly let go and grabbed each other for support instead.

No one ever came back from the orca chamber once sent. But that thought was for another time.

Jack regarded them curiously before smirking evilly, eliciting tortured whimpers from the shivering group until Dr. Jen stepped between them to end his little prank.

“Jackie, Mommy is serious. This might not be best for you right now. You’re perfectly fine!  Here! On your own. And besides, if you meet this other spider… What- What if they’re mean?” she pointed out with clear distress laced in her voice.

“I’ll teach them not to be,” Jack answered easily with a grin which threatened to make the scientist melt.

“But what if… What if they’re dangerous?” she asked, not entirely willing to let up so soon even if Jack seemed rather capable in handling himself.

“I’m the most dangerous being in this whole facility, Mom. No one’s touching me.”  

Well, he had that right. The scientist sighed as she walked over to him to reach up for him. Jack complied, leaning down to her reach as she pinched at his cheeks playfully as she always did despite how much he loathed it.

“Mooooom,” he whined yet remained still for her sake while his cheeks were abused as they were pulled outwards.

“Okay, okay. I’ll let you go,” she relented in defeat as she released him much to her dismay, “But just be careful. Okay, Jackie? I don’t want my banana pie getting hurt or sad or-”

“Mom, it’ll be fine.”


At least Jack firmly believed everything was going to be fine… The terrain he had been sent to was nothing like his original grove. The ground was misted in his terrarium and the skies always a bright blue. Here the ground looked mostly of shale and the area… volcanic? There were trees but none bore any fruit. It was as if he had strolled into some sort of strange hell with smoky skies and deep caverns leading everywhere and nowhere.  

He really wished there were more trees but the few he did fine were very tall pines. Some alive and many not. Jack presumed it was from the lack of proper ventilation but perhaps the other spider preferred to live without sunlight?

Then he finally came across his first find of silvery webbing. It wasn’t anything like his… In fact it wasn’t even sticky. Who would make non-sticky webs? In a way it was almost cute. Jack remembered when he first learned how to alternate between creating adhesive threads and non-adhesive. But this guy seemed to not have a clue.

Jack traced the webbing with his claw and found random sticky points within it. How odd. His brows furrowed as he lingered there, trying to understand who this specimen was just by examining his web. It was very pretty design. Effeminate even. Not that the Handsome Spider minded. It was rare for him to see another’s techniques so close.

A movement of stone caused him to turn sharply in the direction of the noise. He caught sight of a shadowed figure darting behind a large stalagmite before it peeked back at him curiously.

“Who’s there?” demanded Jack fiercely, not feeling at all calm that someone was hiding from him.

“Please don’t break it…” came the sweetest reply that made Jack’s heart nearly stop.

“C-Come out then. And I wasn’t gonna break it. I was just curious since it’s a nice web. I’ve never seen-”

Whatever was left of the banana spider’s speech faculties seemed to shut down once the other specimen stepped from his hiding spot.

Adorable auburn hair. Mismatched eyes just like him. They glowed within the dim cave a wonderful honey and azure. Jack would have never considered such a combination as cute but this guy was pulling it off brilliantly.

“Oh. Well… um… Thank you,” came the voice that seemed to sing in Jack’s ears.

Then he noticed the other spider’s arms as they fumbled between themselves nervously. This kid had six arms. That was one more pair than he had. He shivered a little, wondering what it’d be like to me outmatched with hands. Sure, this other spider looked like too much of a string bean to handle him when it came to a match of sheer strength but… Jack bit his lip as he eyed dipped further to take in the sight of the other’s milky thighs.

That outfit was doing wonders on the other spider as it showcased his long longs perfectly. The protective plates on the banana spider’s crotch began to tremble, pleading that they simply just mate with this lovely web maker already.

But he couldn’t.

“So… You must be Jack, right?”

“Y-Yeah,” Jack breathed while struggling to control himself.

Part of him wanted to leap this guy while the other part… was deathly terrified.   

“I-I’m Rhys. I’m um… I’m a big fan of your- your work! I, uh, I really like your work,” Rhys recovered with a shy chuckle while looking away.

Clearly he meant to say ‘fan of yours’ but something made the smaller spider too afraid to actually admit it. There was nothing wrong with that. Jack had plenty of adoring fans. Hell, girls were trying to sneak into his terrarium for a taste of his sweet banana cream - which would look amazing all over Rhys’ face right about now. The six armed spider, oblivious to Jack’s lewd thoughts about him, stepped closer.

Upon him getting nearer, Jack noticed that Rhys lacked the abdomen that most spiders had but he clearly looked like he had an ass that wouldn’t quit anyway. So it didn’t much matter. The banana spider then went so far as to pinch himself, daring to wake up from what had to be a really hot nightmare. As Rhys approached, he found himself taking several steps back. Eventually the Rhys caught on as he halted in his advance, his excited expression falling slowly from that lovely face.

“Wh-Why are you running away?” he asked with a tremble in his voice.

“J-Just keeping my distance! I mean, I’m getting air! Lots of air! You know, it’s really healthy and uh stuff,” Jack called back, scuttling as far as he could before climbing backwards up one of the strange pine trees.

The other spider stayed where he was, simply watching Jack disappear up into its spiny branches with a look of forlorn. Rhys produced a broken smile as he eyed down at his six arms, flexing the claws with silent despair.

“…It’s okay. I’m… I’m disgusting. I know. P-People tell me that all the time,” he gave a laugh, trying to act like he was fine and that he could find the humor in it.

But in truth, he never did. Rhys allowed a pair of arms to hug around himself as he chewed at his lip a while, debating his next few words.

“Y-You can go now. It’s okay. Really. I know I’m scary and gross to look at. I mean, everyone screams at the sight of me. So…”

Rhys raised his mismatched orbs to the tree tops, hoping maybe the brightly colored spider would reply but as expected, the other remained silently hidden. The pain of rejection overwhelmed the younger hybrid again as he hugged himself tighter before turning heel, running away before his tears could be seen.

In the meantime, the Handsome Spider had never felt so trapped in his life. His heart was hammering painfully in his chest while his face just wouldn’t stop burning. The sensations were more than anything he had ever felt in his life and as he listened to every word of the sullen specimen below, Jack felt as though his heart was being pulled apart. Rhys knew exactly how he felt. Rhys understood. He had someone he could… t-talk to… if only Jack could function near the other spider.

Was a new pollen in the air? Did he prick his legs on some weird plant?

Jack peered out from behind the leaves and branches to watch Rhys sprint away in embarrassment. He reached out in an attempt to stop him, but the words formed a lump in his throat that failed to produce even the slightest sound. He noticed his claw was trembling. Hell, all of him was trembling. Jolts of electricity had him fired up yet terrified with the growing knots in his stomach.

He wanted to be near Rhys but he was scared at the same time. It didn’t make sense to him. Jack was clearly the stronger of the two of them as well as larger. There was nothing to be afraid of. Nothing.

So why was he too scared to get out of the tree? Even now his legs twitched and scratched at the stalk’s bark, desperate to move but far too frightened to actually follow through. Ugh, would his face stop being so hot already? It was giving him a headache as he massaged his temples.


“Jackie! Are you alright?” asked his mother as she had her best team already conducting the necessary set of check ups, “Do you have a fever? You’re looking really flushed.”

“I… I don’t feel well. I mean, I feel happy but I’m…” Jack stared down at his dark claws as he clenched them in frustration. “I don’t get it! He’s weaker than I am! He’s weaker! So why… why am I so… I shouldn’t be! I’m the Handsome Spider! Nothing beats me!”

The other scientists had been trying to get readings on him such as the usual vital signs but Dr. Jen shooed them away with a wave of her hand as she started laughing. This seemed the wrong thing to do as Jack slowly turned to her with a look that could kill.

“This. Isn’t. Funny.”

“Of course not, dear,” Dr. Jen replied with a teasing smile, hardly believing him as she failed to stifle her giggling.

“Mom. Seriously. This is really freaking me out. Can you just, you know, be a little more supportive?”

“All right. But I think I already know what’s eating at you,” she told him, finally calming down to which Jack almost lurched forward to grab her but resisted as he refused to seem so desperate for answer.

“Let me guess,” Dr. Jen said while waving her forefinger knowingly, “You couldn’t talk. Your heart was pounding hard. You felt like you were having a fever but you were happy.”

“…How’d you know?” Jack’s mismatched eyes widened at the thought that he was still being experimented again before he snarled out, “Did you inject me with something? You promised you’d tell me first!”

“Baby, nooo. I didn’t inject you with anything,” she laughed harder while her coworkers looked on, debating if the woman had lost her mind.

“Then what’s wrong with me?! Something is in that habitat. There has to be. There’s no other reason out there that explains why I keep feeling like…”

“Did you find Rhys pretty?” The scientist cut in simply as she placed her hands on her hips.

Jack’s mouth gaped open and shut several times, stunned by the question’s effect on him. It was a normal question. He never had issues answering nonchalantly before but now… now his face was blazing all over again, forcing him to look away in rising embarrassment.  

“I-I wasn’t paying attention,” he fibbed, finally finding his words.  

He jumped slightly as his mother produced the sound she saved only for his ‘firsts’ as a flash of light followed by a click sounded from her Echo.

“D-Did you just take a photo of me?”

“I did! And it’s for a very special occasion.”

“…I’m not following. My torment is something to photograph?”

“Kind of,” replied the ecstatic woman as she turned her Echo for him to see his own image, “I never thought I’d see the day but… Jackie, you’re in love.”  

FICS OF THE WEEK
Capt’n Styles, are you certain of this? They be attracted to man-made light.“
"What is? Sharks?” The young blonde asks in terror.  
“Worse than sharks, lad. There’ll be flesh eating mermaids upon us in minutes, mark my words!” Paul huffs as he continues to wave the bright lantern in front of him, “And Captain Styles here, has us bait!”
Or: The Pirates of the Caribbean inspired au where Harry is a fierce pirate who holds the heart of a beautiful merman.

“You tired or you wanna watch another?”
In lieu of replying, Harry twisted around to press their lips together; slowly, lazily, and Louis responded in kind. Harry sighed quietly, no heat behind the kiss but neither of them were in a hurry to stop.
“Mm.” Louis hummed contentedly, pulling away. “I could kiss you all night.”
“Maybe you should. Love being with you.” Harry mumbled, wondering somewhere in the back of his mind if that was a bit much. “Yeah, let’s watch another film.”
-
Harry meets Louis while working in theatre and struggles to keep their relationship as casual as Louis would like.

  • Heart of the sea (63k, chaptered) - past relationship au, blonde!harry, surfer!louis
Crashing out in Indonesia had brought Louis back to reality with a hard and painful collision. Not only did he wipe out in the most spectacular of ways-getting caught up in an undercurrent and slammed against his board hard enough to rip his shoulder from the joint and a few tendons with it- but he’d learned in those long moments that he’d spent underwater fighting for breath and life that he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.
He’d let Harry go.Since moving out of his mum’s house with his baby daughter, it’s always been just Harry and his little Luna Flower; dad and daughter against the world. Things are just fine and Harry doesn’t think he needs anyone – and that could have had to do with the fact that he doesn’t think there’s anyone out there good enough. But, with a leap of faith and some unexpected twists and turns, maybe he might just prove himself wrong.
Or, the one where Harry is a single dad and gets more than he bargained for after a one night stand of sorts.Louis rides a BMX and works in a diner all the hours god sends to keep his little brother Alex with him. Since their parents died, Louis has become mother and father to his sibling but he’s missing out on love.
Harry is a motorcycle gang member with a mysterious past but his vulnerability soon becomes evident as the two men’s worlds collide.
Louis becomes embroiled in a more-dangerous way of living but he helps Harry finds what he’s been missing all along- a place to call home."You kind of have to be a little bit dumb to decide to climb Everest, I think,” Harry says. “Like at some point you should probably say to yourself, ‘Hey, this is really dangerous and expensive and stuff, and maybe I should just, like, become an architect or something.’”
Louis cocks an eyebrow. “An architect, Haz? Is that your secret dream? You want to build –”
“Shh,” Harry says, holding a finger up to Louis’s lips. “I’m trying to make a point. Just that, like, at some point, we all make a stupid choice to put our lives in danger, but that’s just part of why climbing this mountain is such an accomplishment, right? Because most people aren’t dumb enough to try.”

Or: An Everest AU where Louis sets out to climb the tallest mountain on the world and meets a curly-haired guy named Harry who worms his way into Louis’s life. It’s not long before reaching the summit becomes the least of Louis’s worries.When Harry moved out of Doncaster at the age of 18, he left behind way more than a box of memories buried in his backyard. Fast-forward many years and he’s happy again in Los Angeles. And he’s got things figured out. And his life is complete. And then he sees Louis again, which may change things a little bit.
This is not a story about not getting over your high-school boyfriend. This is a story about moving on, about knowing that your first love can be just that- your first love. But it’s also a story about falling for the same person again - at a different age, at a different time, in a different circumstance. Simply because it’s meant to be.harry plays football in a small town in west texas. louis might be the only person that doesn’t give a damn. au.The long-haired man grips his arm tightly. “You’re not going to say anything.” It’s not a question.
Louis shakes his head, his body twitching. It hurts.
“Fine.” Large eyes survey him before letting go. “It’s cold. Take this. Wear it.”
Louis can’t help another flinch as the man’s long scarf is wrapped round his tender neck. It’s still warm. Louis touches the soft material. “Thank you.”
The man bears his teeth. “Don’t thank me. Don’t ever thank me.”

Dystopian AU. Louis has been alone for too long to remember how not to be, and Harry has too much to worry about to deal with a scrawny, wild, stranger.“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.
Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”
-
1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.
  • Shark Documentary: a dead shark!!
  • Me: oh no
  • Shark Documentary: something kILLED IT!!
  • Me: it was an orca
  • Shark Documentary: WHAt killed this SHARK??!
  • Me: orca
  • Shark Documentary: It was not a man!!!
  • Me: orca
  • Shark Documentary: *flips a shark upside down*
  • Me: ok
  • Shark Documentary: there are some orcas living nearby
  • Me: yes good
  • Shark Documentary: what could this mean??
  • Me: orcas killed the shark
  • Shark Documentary: did orcas kill this shark??!
  • Me: yes
  • Shark Documentary: orcas killed the shark!!
  • Me: fascinating