mammoth party

5e, Epic Campaign, Bad Decisions

Context: Due to a series of events involving our Barbarian and Paladin trying to force-feed fossilized mammoth shit to the party Monk, said Monk is revealed as a servant of Loth, and manages to summon an army of drow to invade the capital.

Me, a smol Eldritch Knight too young to drive: “I’m gonna join the army.”

Goes to gates to join the fight, finds the general.

Me: “I want to fight.”

General: ~Looks up and down at this 12-year-old child~ "Really? And how are you going to do that?“

Me: I pull out my bow and shoot at a target on the far side of the wall behind the General.

DM: ~Raises eyebrows~ You’re gonna have to roll for it.

Me: It’s cool, I got an 11+ to FAAAAAK NATURAL 1.

DM: ~Laughing~ You deal critical damage to the general. ~Rolls~ He falls over dead. The remaining guards in the room close in to arrest you.

Me: ~Looks up at the guards, holding an oversized longbow~ ”No one will ever believe you.“


My party now wants to turn me in for a 100,000 gp reward.


One of the biggest stories of the election cycle is turnout (as we’ve reported a few times now): Republican turnout has spiked far beyond 2012 levels, and Democratic turnout has fallen off after the party’s mammoth 2008.

The tone and the turnout are vastly different between Republicans and Democrats this year, but oddly enough, both sides have something crucial in common: their voters are far less moderate than they were in their last primaries.

The Disappearing Middle: Electorate Way Less Moderate Than Past Primaries

Graphics: Danielle Kurtzleben/NPR