mammalians

anonymous asked:

Good day to you, m'lady. I noticed that you are quite the looker. i hope you don't mind me being so bold to inquire, but do you happen to be in possession of the kik messaging application. If not, never fear, for you can still deliver photographs of the mammalian milk organs of yours. Yours truly, Handsome guy P.S. I have many traits which are quite desirable to ladies.

don’t even approach me unless you talk like this 

baneswood-sins  asked:

Hello yes, I swear I’m not a serial killer or something, and I know this /technically/ isn’t about ‘plants’ but I have a question about mycology. So uh,,,, what kind of mushrooms (if any) are proven to decompose animal remains, or even grow on living creatures like the cordyceps family? I’m super curious and also an artist if that gives any sort of explaination >_<

OKAY LITERALLY CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE RELEVANT INFORMATION FOR THIS VERY SPECIFIC ASK 

okay so this is  Hebeloma vinosophyllum, they are squat babs who are gentle and are widely known in forensic mycology as being a dependable indication of where bodies are buried!! because they really like to decompose specifically mammalian corpses!! they literally are commonly known as the corpse finder mushroom because they just are like?? really good at finding bodies???? right now research is being done into exactly how dependable they are for actual legitimate policework?? because they just?? really like corpses and we don’t really know why??

also side note that covers this general ask: forensic mycology is an actual thing and is the study of fungi, biological fungus warfare, fungi that break down bodies/can be used as indicators, and other such Dark Fungus Things. there’s an awesome full text paper here that talks all about it (slight gore under the link for police photos of fungi growing on dead bodies!!!!) 

Did I Shave My Legs For This?

Today I witnessed men mocking a woman for having hairy legs and underarms. I have something to say about this.

Firstly, the shaving of legs is a new fashion trend. It was done a bit in the 20′s, but honestly, it wasn’t until the forties that anyone gave a damn. Before that, no one saw your legs, because they wee covered in skirts. Men didn’t even know women HAD legs.

Slight exaggeration, but still quite meaningful.

In the last 70 years, men have gone from not knowing and not caring one bit about female body hair, to completely transforming their ideal feminine counterpart into a hairless model. Men like to tout masculinity as being impervious, but I’ll warrant you, you can watch them evolve with the feedback of marketing scams run on their little mammalian brains.

Did Queen Victoria have shaved legs…well, let’s first establish that yes, she did actually have legs. But were they hairless? During her 60-odd year reign, did she employ some servant to come pluck out her hairs?

Did Queen Elizabeth have hairless legs? 44 years of reign, at the time the longest reigning monarch of British history, but no, you’re right. She probably had the Lady of the Royal Chamber rake on a good lather before she went out in her Spanish farthingale.

Did Cleopatra have a straight razor? Did Helen of Troy? These are two women who literally destroyed nations with their beauty and the lust men had for them. Do you think they had shaved legs? What about their underarms?

Now, yes, there were traditions of removing hair. The Roman women, for example, plucked their hair out of their underarms, but I promise you…no one sat about for hours having their legs plucked with tweezers. And if they did, they had a lot of time and money to spare.

Do you know who Boudicca is? She was an Icenian queen during the first century. She led a rebellion against Roman factions at Londinium. 

Famously, she said, “This is done with the resolve of a woman. Men may live as slaves if they wish.”

She leveled three Roman outposts, well-established settlements. And came to Londinium with an army decked out in stolen Roman arms. They razed the city to the ground with fires so thick that an ash layer still exists in the stria of the City of London to this very day. As she rode through the old city on her chariot, with her Roman spear in hand, poised to launch it through the throat of a fleeing patrician, did she pause her assault to wonder…

Did I shave my legs for this?

As the man fell to the ground, choking on his own blood and the ash from the searing fires, do you think he looked up at this queen, this woman defiant and majestic, and thought, “Ye gods, what hirsuit underarms!”

I wonder how many plucked Roman women were trampled by that carriage.

I wonder if Anne Bonny, the notorious pirate ever was mocked by her male crew for having a fluffy undercarriage.

I wonder if when Annie Oakley, at 15, beat her crackshot future husband at a shooting contest, he looked at her little knees and thought, “Not this one. She’s too furry.”

I wonder if Anne Boleyn was beheaded for wearing a pair of furry britches beneath her skirts.

I wonder, if while He suckled as an infant, resplendent in holy fire and divinity, the newborn Jesus Christ, tucked His wee face to the crook of His Virgin Mother’s arm and let out a squeal at the ghastly sight of her unshaven underarms. Or if when He was installing himself in her abdomen, He gave a moment’s pause to think, “Dear Me, what am I doing, shoving myself into this horribly hairy wench?”

The answer to all of these is…No. Of course not, you fucking idiot.

Body hair exists for a reason, you stupid semi-hairless apes. Don’t you ever wonder why you still have it? I will tell you why. It provides necessary warmth, not just with insulation, but with the way your anatomy functions. Air catches the hairs and lifts them, causing a tickle that forces the follicle to swell into goose flesh, warming the skin through motion. It provides protection from the sun. And in the regions where it is thickest, it guards against the elements, keeps out parasites, and keeps your sensitive areas like your eyes, from being drowned in sweat. It even cushions and reduces the likelihood of heat rashes and chafing in the parts of you that touch. Hair is important. It wasn’t just Sampson who gained strength from it.

And I wonder, if while Sampson was laid low, his power sapped, if he looked up at the gorgeous Delilah with her treacherous shears and thought… “Why didn’t she pluck her eyebrows!”

Power is walking into a room with nothing in hand, and doing just fine.

Beauty is standing as you are, but embodying all that is graceful and powerful about the female condition.

And judging a woman on a trend that is younger then my oldest knee-length hemline is an act of such supreme stupidity and transient masculinity that I cannot even describe how ridiculous I find it. But men are the ones who are rational, yes? Men and all their manly manliness are immune to fads and trends and “girly fashion shit”, right, “bruh”?

Women have hair on their bodies same as you. You seem to do just fine wearing yours. Why do you begrudge her hers?

I say we start a new trend, where females begin to harass the worst offenders for having hairy legs. I shan’t be pleased if in 70 years, I am not seeing all men in shorts looking like the backside of a baby from the knee down. I want to see hordes of women tracking down these men who label a type of deception as beauty, and demanding they carve off their top layer of skin and fur. I want to hear these men who cannot see valor, fortitude, strength, and hair as beautiful, squeak when they walk.

And then I want all humans to embrace that which makes them soft and healthy, and stop rewriting history by turning it into one inglorious quest for vanity.

Possible explanations for the twin trolls
  • They are literally identical twins hatched from the same egg. It happens all the time across mammalian, reptilian, and insectoid species. This would not run counter to any established canon. 

  • They hatched from separate eggs but were adopted by a single lusus. Hiveswap has already established as canon that a lusus can adopt more than one child.

  • They are entirely unrelated trolls who have chosen to be twins, possibly as a reflection of their dedication to clown cult ideals of duality, and affect the twin aesthetic intentionally (and maybe one of them lost their lusus or fed it to their twin’s lusus to help sell the twin motif)

  • They are in fact a single troll using chucklevoodoo illusions to present as two in a recurrence of one of Homestuck’s major themes of split identity (ala Dirk and Hal, Vriska and (Vriska), Jade and Jadesprite, ect) and each half is actually an isolated Jekyll-and-Hyde-style embodiment of the tragic and comic halves of their personality.

  • They are show trolls, circus performs, the twin thing is a gimmick they put on during performances.

  • Any of the above, but caused somehow by the interference of Cherubs in events, as seen in the clear relation of the warp gate to Cherub visual motifs, twins also being an important motif of Cherubs. The clown cult being heavily influenced by Lord English, twin trolls may have spiritual significance to the cult. 

  • They will hive minor importance in the game, nothing will be revealed, and they essentially exist to be a middle finger to people who try to make stupid rules about what kind of fan trolls you can make

humans are mammals, so we have a sucking reflex at birth (infants suck on whatever touches the roof of the mouth), to help with breastfeeding. obviously, we lose the reflex past infancy, but we still have the ability. we can drink things through straws.

and non-mammalian aliens have no such capability. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never had bubble tea before,”

“Human-style drinks are rare on my planet, Evelyn,”

“Fair enough. Well, go on, take a sip…what are you doing?”

“Opening the cup?”

“Thats not how you drink it, don’t peel the plastic, here, poke a straw through it,”

“Like this?”

“Yeah, but careful, or you’ll spill it. Uhh, nope, you’re good,”

“What now?”

“You drink it?”

“How? The plastic’s still in the way?”

“Do you not have straws on Dagbusvar? Huh, weird. You just kinda..

“So the liquid just goes up the straw? Like, capillary action?”

“No, its uhh, I only learned this in English, wait a bit….You create a partial vacuum in your mouth, drawing liquid in, and then you swallow it normally,”

“Like the air pressure cleaner we have on base,”

“Yeah! But on a smaller scale,”

“Thats weird. Is it common on your planet?”

“I don’t know? Well, I know mammals can do it, and some insects can, but like, their mouthparts are like straws already, and maybe some fish can?”

“…”

“I wonder if they have spoons; I want you to try the tapioca. They’re kinda like the the Afakiv eggs you like so much, but like, sweeter.”

7

Koffing are strange airborne chordates with a highly variable appearance. Body cavity is mostly hollow, occupied primarily by a large botryoidal mass of hydrogen-filled gas bladders and a cavernous pharynx densely latticed with mucous webbing for collecting atmospheric particulates. Feed exclusively on pollutants, only existing in the most crowded population centers where the air is foul enough to sustain them. They’d be valuable as natural filtration systems if the gaseous waste they produce constantly in massive quantities wasn’t as/even more toxic than the material they consume.

Cellulose exoskeleton like cartilage in flexibility & strength. Tumorous cellular composition, despite being a naturally brainless meat balloon it’s extremely common for their epidermal layer to grow hair, teeth, even functional mammalian eyes, though they are incapable of interpreting the visual data gathered. The unblinking, glassy gaze and impression of a readable facial expression created by the various surface lumps has led to the common misconception that they’re aware of their piteous existence and suffering. More than a few people have lost limbs or even died in blasts caused by deliberately puncturing koffing and weezing as to ‘put them out of their misery’. In reality it’s unsure whether or not they are even truly sentient. Those who don’t heavily anthropomorphize them usually see them as little more than very dangerous plastic bags.

Rarely a koffing may develop brain tissue within it’s visceral mass. Such individuals, while being more likely to develop into weezing, are no less prone to suddenly and violently exploding at the slightest stress.


Weezing are much more stable than their smaller juvenile form, but also much, much rarer. Weezing may form as the end result of the fusion of several koffing, or of a spontaneous growth spurt in older koffing. As the pokémon ages it’s genetic structure becomes increasingly unstable and more likely to ‘evolve’ into it’s adult form.

Reproduction is spore/pollen based.

The cancerous nature of their tissue, its constant growth and self-mending, means they’re capable of living indefinitely, given they avoid spontaneous combustion. A complete enough fragment of an exploded specimen (whether koff or weez) has the potential to develop into a clone koffing of it’s ‘parent’.

Pigmented dull shades of gray, purple, blue, or, in exceptionally rare instances, green. Eyes can be any color, but are usually brown.

Decided to crank this out in order to better show the anatomy I’ve been describing for griffins.

Top image is your average griffin (Gryps orientalis), once widespread across southwestern Asia and possibly as far west as Greece, though now limited in range to remote parts of Iran. While capable of flight, it is much more inclined to run down prey and dispatch it with a powerful bite. The single spur on each forelimb, often likened to an eagle’s talon, is used in territorial disputes and is much longer on males. Like all western dragons, they possess pseudo-mammalian ears, which have no muscle attachments and cannot move independently of the head. The beak is composed of large flat scales, more like a turtle’s than a bird’s. They make their nests high in the mountains, out of shallow depressions in the soil lined with plant material, and guard their 1 to 3 softball sized eggs viciously.
The male builds the nest, first surrounding it with shining trinkets to attract the female. Thus originated the belief that gold could be found in or near griffin nests. Nowadays, it is more likely bits of colorful plastic or glass.

Below the griffin is the Hippogriff (Gryps hippogryphus), a cousin to the griffin found in parts of Southern Europe. Its lanky stature, feathered hindlimbs, and the long hair on its ears have all contributed to its likeness to the horse. However, even when raised in captivity, nearly all attempts to mount one have resulted in a swift and painful strike with the spurs, and is heavily discouraged.

anonymous asked:

do you know any good altean!lance and galra!keith fics??

ohhhkayyy, god damn, like tumblr crashed on me as I was like 3 fics away from finishing this so I had to like start all over, like rip me.

and, I don’t have many altean lance fics so most of this is galra Keith and pretty much all angsty. I tried to find some less angsty ones, I don’t know how well I succeeded xD.

Note: I’ll be starting weekly fic recs in April. just and fyi~


Warmth by Rahar_Moonfire

Summary: Lance is Allura’s younger brother. During the mission to retrieve the Red Lion from Galra hands, he gets captured. His guard is a curious Galra halfbreed named Keith who may just be his ticket to freedom. He’s a bit small for an alpha, but Lance is sure he can handle it. A little flirting never hurt anyone after all. The fact Keith is good looking for a Galra and those ears wiggle (so cute!) doesn’t influence this decision. Nope. Not one bit.
Series: 4 Works
            Work 1 WC: 61497 (19/19)
            Work 2 WC: 111883 (32/32)
            Work 3 WC: 133875 (42/42)
            Work 4 WC: 71480 (21/?)
Notes: THIS IS LIKE THE ONLY FIC I HAVE WITH ALTEAN!LANCE AND GALRA!KEITH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. gahgldfkjhsa;d, ok so this is just an amazing series, some nsfw tossed in btw, youve been wared. but over all, i just love this series so much and i need to like catch really bad… i didnt know work3 or 4 even existed… >.< 11/10

Echoes of the Past by Gigapoodle

Summary: It was his fault. He shouldn’t have retreated – he should have ran after them, Galra forces be damned, and ripped the red paladin right out of his weaponized hands, shooting the commander dead on the spot.But he hadn’t. Lance stood there, frozen with adrenaline and fear, before backing out with tears in his eyes, justifying it to himself by saying, ‘he won’t get far, we can easily get him back once I have Voltron with me.’He’d forgotten they didn’t have Voltron. He’d forgotten that without Keith, Voltron was nothing.Keith is Galra. Keith is gone. Keith is Galra. Keith is gone.
WC: 28197
Notes: -hands over some tissues- here you will need these. 100/10

I Was Born A Lion by spectralPhobia

Summary: After Keith discovers he is part Galra and Red lion rejects him, there’s only one way he can make himself useful: to join Galra and try to wreck them from the inside, while figuring out a relationship with a guy who turns out to be his biological father.
A comic about one stubborn man’s self-discovery, the challenges of spying, everyone in team Voltron being BAMF, and the universe that needs saving, as usual.
WC: comic, so no words counted by AO3 (11/?)
Notes: Galra Keith because Thace is some kinda of scientist? Uhm yes please. 10/10

your claws in me by burlesquecomposer

Summary: “Oh trust me. When I’m done with you, I won’t be able to stop laughing,” Lance says lowly, and his lips curl farther, and there’s something wild in his stare, and it hits Keith suddenly.This isn’t Lance.
Lance falls under the control of Zarkon’s Druids, and although his friends manage to get him back, nothing is quite the same. Maybe the Galra succeeded after all. Maybe the Galra merely wanted to tear Team Voltron apart from the inside.
WC: 49072 (12/12)
Notes: Rip Lance tbh, this is like really angsty and my heart breaks for Lance. but yes, galra keith is there to save the day~ 10/10

This House Unfinished by boyghosts

Summary: “Concept,” Lance said, his voice heavy and gutted with the ache of it; he caught Keith’s gaze and smiled wide, for show. “The war’s over. We’re back home. All the things we love in one place.”Lance keeps losing the things he’s built. Then there’s Keith.
WC: 30776
Notes: -cackles- have some tissues my friend 100/10

Dancing Lion, Painted Wings by genericfanatic

Summary: Years after peace has been made between the Galran and Altean kingdoms, The witch Haggar comes for vengeance. The young symbol of peace, the half-galran, half-altean Prince Kalor is lost. His aunt, Princess Allura, and his bodyguard, Shiro, are heartbroken.10 years later, an orphan named Keith sets out on his own, trying to find the key to his past. All he has to help him is a small figurine with a cryptic message, a friendly engineer, a technician and her friendly robot, and a cocky con man with a mysterious, yet familiar past.
WC: 35154 (14/14)
Notes: the anastasia au everyone talks about. and like galtean keith gives me life, but conman Lance gives me more. 10/10

It Takes a Village by Zemmiphobia

Summary: One decision by an injured soldier changes not only the fate of the universe, but the fate of her young son.
WC: 18010 (6/6)
Notes: Smol Keith is like my fav, hes so cute in this. and Ulaz being a dad just heals my heart, like bless. 11/10

Ashes, Ashes by vagrantBreath

Summary: Everyone knew their kitten was destined for something greater.No one guessed it was Voltron.
WC: 26639 (20/20)
Notes: Keith raised by the BoM technically makes him Galra right? xD Hahah no, he does have ties, but yeah i love this, hes a sheltered little shit and its great. 9/10

Purple Marks and Bleeding Heart by TeaParade

Summary: Mark #223-code-violet, Lance’s newest job, is not what the sniper signed up for when he joined team Voltron, a specialist group designed to take out the universe’s worst of the worst. This mark shouldn’t be any different from the other Galra, but he is. And Lance is having a very hard time.
WC: 52377 (12/?)
Notes: Sniper Lance and Galra Keith. literally one of my fav pairings. like straight up (tho nothing about this is straight in any sense really) 11/10

To See Blue Skies by BoyBitingDemon

Summary: He scoffed as he watched the fight below, the crowds going wild at the two fighters in the arena. They had such poor taste for entertainment these days.He heard a small sound of amusement from the one sitting next to his standing form, ever vigilant.“As if you were any better your first time in the arena.” They murmured under their breath, a small smile sneaking onto their face, pupiless gold eyes focused on the fight below, but their attention solely on the person standing guard next to him.“I must have have been somewhat impressive to catch the eyes of a certain prince now wasn’t I?"The prince snuck a glance towards the taller, whose face was hidden behind the helmet they wore."You caught a lot more than just my eye that’s for sure.”
WC: 5947 (4/?)
Notes: i,, just love this fic? Like Galra Prince Keith and Champion Lance, you can’t really get much better than this. 10/10

If Only I Could Cry TheSlytherinMudblood

Summary: Galra biology differs from human biology in many ways. For example, Galra are purple. They have yellow eyes. The mammalian ones are able to purr.They also lack tear ducts.
WC: 586
Notes: this is short and sweet (read angsty sorry not sorry) 8/10

The Master of Disguise by NireYllek

Summary: “Wait, what that doesn’t make any sense.” Hunk protested.Pidge shook her head with a tsk. “It does if one of us is disguised as Allura.”Pidge flashed a smirk in Lance’s direction. “I’m sorry, why are you looking at me?” Lance protested. Something in Keith’s brain clicked, he looked at Lance and then at the Princess.Put a little make up on him, a wig, and a dress and he could- OH my god.
WC: 33596 (6/6)
Notes: Tbh, this made me giggle so much. Lance dressed as Allura and Keith and his gay awakening™ just give me life ok. 10/10

anonymous asked:

Can we make troll ears the new Official Homestuck Discourse™? This is so much more bearable than... Basically everything else.

Put what you Headcanon about trolls in the tags

Elf ears, Fox/Mouse Ears , Human Ears

Long Mouse-like Tails, Tails relating to their Sign, No Tail

Horns come out of the forehead, or Horn come from top/sides of the skull

Claw Like Nails, Pawpads on their feet or normal feet

Insect-like bodies or Mammalian bodies

Skin tinted blood color or Flat Grey (not counting blushing)

Vestigial Grubscars or Normal Torso

anonymous asked:

What do you think Nidoking and Nidoqueen are based of?

Their lines seem to be inspired by bits of all sorts of animals - we git some unmistakably mammalian influences, for example from rhinos, rodents/rabbits etc. but also something archaic and reptilian - hey don’t have cheeks for example. I think that they form a unique little clade within pokémon, a distinct body plan (that includes having also similar quadruped pre-evos) that allies them with the rhydon line. Indeed the Nido royalties, Rhydon, and Rhyperior all are known as The Drill Pokémon. Also, Khangaskan shares many features of this group too. 

The body plan of a large, eared, bipedal, tailed, spiny, reptiley-mammal has an unmistakably gen 1 feel about it, it is so recognisable, for example it stars as the iconic gym statues, and as one of the major roster sprites in gen1/2. Rhydon like mons everywhere man. 

Of course, rhydon was one of the first Pokémon designed, and you can see from this early concept art that the original rhydon was even more Nido like than now.  

Ok I don’t know where I’m going with this, but before I had a tendency to shoehorn pokémon into definitive groups based on real life counterparts, however this often runs into difficulties where you have pokémon based on more than one unrelated real life animal, or when a real life counterpart simply doesn’t exist. Plus we have lots of game mechanic bullshit that can be just plain biological sacrilege - eggs, B̑́ͧ͐rͨͩ̇ͣ̏ͧE̷͗E͑͟d͗͆iͤͦͫ͒n͟Ǧ̃̃̄̌, evolutionary stages (though I see pokémon evolution in this sense as a form of facultative metamorphosis) etc.  

I think now it’s better to assume that Pokémon is an incredibly different universe, but one that does share some fundamental biological and evolutionary laws and similarities. Thus for example instead of saying that Rattata is a rat definitively, it could be better to say that Rattata is an organism that shares many morphological and ecological characteristics with a rat, and thus, since we have very limited data to go upon (we can’t properly study it’s physiology, behaviour etc., sequence DNA etc., and like,the pokedex is written by a ten year old child lol), we can infer aspects of it’s biology from rats as well as it’s evolutionary relationships to other rodent like pokémon that share a similar suite of physiological and ecological characters, from what we know about such relationships in Rodentia, and from real world character evolution. 

So what can we say about the Nidos? They are part of a distinguishable group of pokémon that all possess a distinct set of ecological, behavioural, and morphological characters, which have analogies to a variety of real life mammalian and reptilian real life counterparts, such as rhinos, glires (rodents and lagomorphs (hares, pikas, and rabbits), and mammal like reptiles. The variation within this group of pokemon is less than the differences between members of this group and other pokémon, and this unites this group as a clade. It would be a lot of work to actually work out what pokémon the drill pokémon + khangaskan are most closely related to, i.e. make a phylogenetic tree, but here is just a rough within group tree with a possible scenario of major character evolutionary events (indicated by black rectangles). 

(also, the breeding rules between the Nidos, and whether the king and queen are different species or this is just sexual dimorphism is completely clouded by game mechanics of having gendered pokémon before established gender mechanics, so I’m not going to into that - however, I will say for a quick example, meerkats live in a matriarchal society and the alpha female usually has most of the breeding rights - however, because she has to defend the her position, as well as the group itself from danger, she often has very high testosterone levels which reduces her fertility - perhaps nidorina and nidoqueen are extreme examples of this, changing physically to take on a more protective role, letting nidoran sisters/aunts/mothers take on breeding roles)

grimm-fairy  asked:

I don't know if you've ever answered this before, but do you believe that snake and lizard pets feel love for their owners? There are a lot of conflicting opinions online.

This is a complicated question! People like to argue back and forth about it, but really, the answer is no. 

Reptiles, as awesome as they are, are incapable of feeling love as we understand it. There’s a kicker there, because human and reptile brains are very different. There’s a complex series of chemical reactions that govern human emotions. What we understand as love is closely related to oxytocin, a hormone that reptiles simply do not produce. Reptiles are also not social animals like dogs (for the most part- there are limited exceptions!) and they’re not domesticated. Domestication plays a HUGE part in why our dogs “love” us- we selectively bred the most social, friendly proto-dogs. Dogs have genetic instincts to socialize, to live in a pack with others, and to cooperate- but reptiles really don’t. 

That being said, reptiles do have emotions- fear, stress, curiosity, comfort- and can definitely come to recognize and trust their owners. They’re non-social creatures that are in many cases actively ok with hanging out with an animal much, much larger than them- some reptiles will even run up to their people when they see them, even if they don’t get a food reward. A well-acclimated reptile is often very curious about their person, and some reptiles will bond with their people- not so much the way a dog will, but they’ll trust a person and prefer their company and attention. But they’re not mammals and so trying to understand their emotional capabilities from a mammalian perspective is really difficult. It tends to lead to anthropomorphizing, or ascribing human thoughts and feelings to a non-human creature- and for reptiles, which have sensitive needs, this can end in tragedy. 

I think that’s actually one of the fairly rewarding things about pet reptiles- that they can come to trust a creature (us!) they should naturally fear or ignore. While they might not love us like we love them, they’re still wonderful, dynamic creatures. The best way we can show our love for them is by giving them the best lives possible and doing our best to earn their trust. 

anonymous asked:

How can I become a bird?

Option 1: Several million years of highly selective breeding

Pros: Low demand, high return.

Cons: …Eventually. 

Conclusion: Very worth it, for your (great)800  grandchild. The real deal. Possibility of ending up with mammalian scansoriopterygids along the way. 10/10 would recommend. 


Option 2: Several thousand dollars worth of gear and training

Pros: Immediate returns. 

Cons: Possibility of death. Even worse, people take you for some kind of winged mammal instead. Horrible

Conclusion: Totally worth being poor as heck and dead. Won’t survive long enough to further your species, so who cares what your offspring might think. 10/10 would definitely.


Option 3: 

Pros: Well

Cons: Yikes

Conclusion: Maybe………………………………. don’t.

So about your family…

So we have all seen those stories about humans being super nice, or super strong, or witty, clever, adaptive, etc. But what if we were really none of these things? I mean not exceptionally of course. What if instead we were just morally absent, or had the capability to project said moral absence in the face of something greater, that other species just cannot compete with?



“Jo'skar, you have been captured during a terrorist attempt to bomb the Galactic Collective of Sentient Species Congress.”


Jo'skar didn’t care what this Faath had to say to him. He was going to prison if he was lucky, executed if he was not. It did not matter, because his objective had failed, and that meant that another would need to be sent in his place to impress upon the GCSS just how much they had angered several races on the Rim. And so he sat, staring daggers into his interviewer.



“Understand, Jo'skar, that you do not need to communicate with me. YOUR involvement has already been confirmed, and therefore sentence will be passed shortly likely resulting in your summary execution… However,” Jo'skar felt some trepidation at the pause here, especially considering how nervous the Faath seemed to be. “A relatively newly contacted species has requested the honor of questioning you for further information concerning your accomplices regarding any and all activities of a terroristic nature. Given their recent history, we are inclined to afford them the opportunity.” The Faath promptly stood up from his chair and left the interview room. Slowly, almost reluctantly for a slug-looking blue hat (where had he heard that term? It doesn’t matter…).


So Jo'skar sat, at least [15 minutes] before anything happened. It didn’t matter. They could put him in an ultra bright cell for months on end, blare the most annoying sounds for years, cut on him, crush him, try to seduce him, anything. None of it mattered for the cause. He was someone else than who they thought. Oh yes. He was Jo'skar, but he was someone else too. And they would never get to the core of that, as he had left his family behind, his identity, even changed his appearance so no one would recognise him. The Cause was safe.



Suddenly the heavy steel door opened, letting in an averaged sized being, mammalian, with a dark patch of fur on the top of its head and going down along the sides if its face to the chin, and on its upper lip. Considering the rest appeared hairless, it was a rather thick amount of fur just in those areas. Odd. The individual also appeared to be tired and not particularly interested in the job put before it. Jo'skar’s scales turned a lighter shade of brown in amusement. “THIS is the species to interview me? What a joke…” He thought as the mammal sat down opposite him and dropped the folder it was carrying as if a huge weight. Admittedly, a large folder perhaps [2 inches] thick but still just a folder.


“Sar'aal, sorry to be so late,” the mammal stated exasperated. Jo'skar flinched at the sound of his real name.


“Oh, I’m sorry. Jo'skar,” corrected the interviewer. Jo'skar relaxed a bit. Perhaps someone had used his real name as a pseudonym. “I’m getting a bit ahead of myself here. We haven’t got to the point of real names, have we?” Jo'skar immediately felt a bit of fear.


“My name is Jo'skar, and no other name will suffice,” he ventured, his first words since capture.


“Well that’s a shame for your mother, Ysildda, your father Kri'sna, your sisters Ommeli, Imutna, and Farryi, let alone your own family. I’m sure you know them. Erannha, and your children Kris'ka and Fr'atkha?” The being produced photographs of each individual as it stated their names. Almost in a bored fashion.


“You see, we humans are very good at counter terrorism operations. We had several decades dealing with our own terrorists, in fact. And where terrorists refuse to cooperate, we find it extremely difficult to protect their families, even if they have cut all ties with them,” the individual, now identified as human, stated. “So here is my proposal. And you only get it once. Answer any and all of my questions, or I cannot guarantee your family’s safety the next time the GCSS decides to go on a terrorist raid.”

tilthendoftheline  asked:

as someone who almost died from a mammalian meat allergy constantly explaining that the carbohydrate chain causing the allergy was lost in the old-world monkey lineage leading to its lack in humans, i empathize with this phylogenetic conundrum.

…can you please educate me on this oh my god this sounds fascinating.

I want to crush your dreams and remind you guys that the reason we don’t have brontosaurus sized mammals is because mammalian biology would cause them to to bake inside their own bodies, thus a creature like King Kong simply isn’t possible.

4

The kea is beautiful, intelligent, hilarirous..and in serious trouble.  In the last decade kea numbers have plummeted, and there are many reasons why.  Like many New Zealand species, the kea has been greatly affected by invasive mammalian predators such as rats, stoats, and possums.  A study has shown that only about two thirds of kea chicks survive to fledging due to nest raids by these predators.  Unfortunately, government efforts to eradicate these creatures are also affecting the kea, as the curious birds will often consume poisoned bait and be caught in traps.  

The kea’s curiosity and intelligence may also work against it.  Many kea have died from lead poisoning, as they will chew on the roofs and gutters of old buildings, which often contain lead.  In addition, chewing on buildings and cars leads kea into increasing conflict with humans.

Humans are deeply divided in their opinion about the kea, and both of them can be harmful.  Many people love the kea, and travel to the national parks just to see them.  These same people, however, charmed by the kea’s fearlessness, will feed them unsuitable and harmful foods such as chips, ice cream, and chocolate.  This also encourages the kea to seek out people, which can lead them to approach those on the other side of the spectrum.  For other humans consider the kea a terrible nuisance due to its attacks on sheep and destructive nature.  Despite protection by the government, many locals still actively hunt and shoot kea.

There may be as few as 1000 kea left in the wild.