mama's cookin

Headcanon that Two-Bit and Curly are the type of guys to call their girlfriends ‘lil mama’

‘hey lil mama’

‘what’s cookin lil mama’

‘lookin good lil mama’


well… not sso related buuutt… i’ve got 5-7 collie puppies due next monday!!! my first litter, co-bred with my bitch’s breeder/co-owner :) 

hard to see, especially if you don’t know what you’re looking at, but you can make out some tiny skulls and spines in the x-ray. they’re not super clear yet, as they are still calcifying. pups still aren’t quite done cookin’.

mama dog is a working service dog, akc champion, novice trick dog, passed the herding instinct test as a puppy but has to re-do it for the official title. she finished her championship with limited showing, with three five point specialty majors. she’s my first show dog, which is something i never really thought i would have haha and wasn’t what i was looking for. it was the agreement with the breeder if i got her, and she had the perfect temperament for service work… now i can’t see my life any other way!

three of four grandparents are akc grand champions, two cca national award of merit winners as well as a cca national breed winner, and just amazing temperaments and health testing going generations back. 

we’re expecting both rough and smooth coat types, as well as all colors. it’ll be interesting to see what we get!

this what your mom do when you're not around
  • Child: I'm going out, mom!
  • Mother: See you, hon! Have a nice day at school.
  • *front door slams shut*
  • Mother: Now that he's gone, I can finally do what I want. *sneaks into her child's room, busts out the Xbox One, posts in Battlefield*
  • Mother: *puts on headset* I don't think any of you scrubs are ready for what mama's cookin'!
  • Somebody: *loudly knocks at the front door*
  • Mother: Goddammit! *reluctantly stomps down the stairs and answers the door*
  • Mannequin: *stands at the door wearing an apron, armless, staring directly into the mother's eyes with its beady black marble eyes*
  • Mother: *slams door* Weird prankster kids. We really need a neighborhood watch.
  • Mother: *turns around to go back upstairs*
  • Mannequin: *stands in the stairwell*
  • *hours later*
  • Child: *walks through the front door* Mom, I'm home! Mom! Mom?
  • *the sound of television static flows heavily from upstairs*
  • Child: *quietly walks upstairs* Mom, are you there?
  • Child: *peaks head into his bedroom* Mom?
  • Mannequin: *stands in front of the staticy television*
  • Child: Oh hey, mom! What are you doing in my room?
  • Mannequin: *swivels its torso around and stares at the child with his mother's torn out eyes in its sockets* Welcome home, child. I was simply cleaning.
  • Child: Oh... who's that guy on my bed?
  • Mother: *lies dead on the child's bed, expression aghast, and her eyes replaced with black marbles*
  • Mannequin: That is your father.
  • Child: Hey, dad!
  • Mannequin Arm: *comes out of the dead mother's mouth* Hey there, sport. Be a good sport. Go get ready for dinner. Your mom has cooked a wonderful dinner tonight. A turkey product. Fried. The three of us shall feast on it. Together. At the dinner table. The three of us. Feasting. Food.
  • Mannequin: Oh. You can not get enough of my home cooking. Can you? Dear. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
  • Mannequin Arm: I can not. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. *slips back into the dead mother's mouth*
  • Child: Uhh... Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha?
  • Mother: Now get to the dinner table, child. I shall be there momentarily. I must finish watching my program.
  • Child: Sure thing, mom! *rushes downstairs*
  • Mannequin: *swivels its torso back around to the television*
  • Mannequin: *stares deeply into the snowy static, a bloody tear drips down its cheek, what could it be thinking of as it loses track of time, seemingly taken in by meaningless static*
  • Child: Mom, Dad! Aren't you guys coming downstairs!?
  • Mannequin: Certainly. Dear. *slides out of the room and to the stairwell*
  • Mannequin: *falls down the steps* Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
  • Mannequin: *hits the bottom floor with a thump and its head pops off and rolls into the dining room*
  • Mannequin: *eyes burst out of its sockets with a spurt of blood*
  • Mannequin: Child, do not use swears in the dining room.
  • Child: Ah! Sorry, mom!

anonymous asked:

Describe mama's cookin

“I’m the better cook, that’s for damn sure.” Nick smirks proudly.

Then his face falls, there’s a certain deep sadness seen in his grays, though he hides it well with his famous poker face.

“She–uh, she wasn’t much of a cook. We really couldn’t afford fresh ingredients so she prepared a lot of easy meals that we were given from welfare aid. A lot of it tasted either like cardboard or was really bland, but as a kid my favorite was the macaroni and cheese.”

“…God dammit I hate mac ‘n cheese.”

If anybody saw this woman (Grandma Sophie!) running around Anime Boston this past weekend (?) I just want you all to know she is my grandmother and that was her first ever con. She won the Deathmatch (the Cookin’ Mama she “fought” is my aunt, and the host of the Deathmatch is my younger cousin.)

Also thanks Colleen for the picture.