mama there goes that man

Mi piace così tanto studiare che vorrei (quasi) non smettere mai. Mi stanno balenando in testa tante di quelle idee che il vero dramma sarà non poterle seguire tutte. Ci sono percorsi che mi portano a studiare (ben) oltre il trentesimo anno di età; altri che mi lasciano meno possibilità, ma mi spalancano immediatamente all’esercizio pratico, altre ancora che (probabilmente) coniugano entrambe. Sono scelte che sto compiendo periodicamente, man mano che si aprono sempre più porte. La curiosità e la passione sono i veri motori del mondo. Amo la vita, nonostante tutto. E c’è qualcosa per cui bisognerebbe veramente avere la possibilità di vivere per sempre. Sorrido.

I was singing Bohemian Rhapsody couple weeks ago and my little siblings heard that so now everytime someone says “mama?” and waits for an answer someone else goes “just killed a man” and it became terrible habit when my 3 year old brother started doing that too. Now it sounds like we are killing around 20 people a day.

Sooooo... I’ve been reading Vietnamese Creation Myths...

In one of them, 

A deity and his men are on their way to meet up with the deity’s bride-to-be.  It’s their wedding day.

And they come across a bridgeless river. 

So the deity uses his… penis as the bridge for his men. Then one of his men accidentally stabs the penis with a kindling and it causes the deity to jump and the men to fall into the river. Luckily, the fiancee rescues them.

And the wedding goes on without incident. 

No point to serve much of the creation story.

BUT IT GETS WEIRDER 

In another creation myth, humans were not designed with sex organs. The Gods made asexual beings. That was how the population increased. They just made one asexual after another.

But then humans realized they could use the parts of animals…

So the men took the phallus of the lizards.

Women took the vagina of the toads.

And when women get pregnant, they had no childbirth hole. Their child had to be ripped from their wombs - freakin’ C-section.

A god notices that a man is looking for a rattan cord, a burial shroud as he was preparing for his wife’s death by C-section. 

And god goes, “Wait, if the mama dies, who breastfeeds the baby?”

And the man goes, “The baby will sucks its father’s knees.”

The god is like, no no no, that’s not a way a baby should be raised.

So the god hands the man a plant bulb and devises a way for the man to use the bulb so the mother can have a safer childbirth (the translation wasn’t all that clear but it’s implied that’s where the mother could give birth without C-section). 

And he gives the human guy a good lecture on cutting the umbilical cord, caring for the baby, washing his wife, cooking for his wife, rubbing grass on the baby, and naming the baby.

Civil War as retold by Luis from Ant-Man 

 Okay, okay…. so like this bad Bonehead dude wants to blow some things up, and the Avengers come swooping in to save the day. They flash their bomb moves, but Bonehead’s about to use like, his real bomb when the Red Witch girl just locks him up like WAH! but it’s not strong enough to stop the place from getting blown up, so this government guy comes in like, “You need to be controlled and sign this thing.” and Iron Man’s like “Yeah that’s smart.” and Captain America’s like “Naw, man. That’s lame.” Then another building gets blown up, and it looks like Cold Soulja did it. So then the Cold Soulja fights the law with his badass skills, running around like WAP WAP WAP, but the Black Panther is running after him like NYOOOOOMMM and he wants to catch him because his Dad was giving that speech when the building got blown up. I know, that’s deep..

So Captain’s hiding the Cold Soulja after a while, you know, cause they’re like, super tight with each other and Iron Man’s like ‘You gotta give him up’ and Captain’s like “Bump that. He didn’t do it.”, so they get word down that the real bad guy Zemo is like, “I’m going to reactivate the other super assassins HYDRA got laying around.” and Captain’s like “For real?” so he grabs his crew and they run down to get a plane and Iron Man and all the peeps that wanted to sign the thing block their way and say, “You gotta come with us.” and Captain’s like “Bump that.” so they rumble, you know, VROOM RAHRRRR WAP WAP BLAM BLAM BLAM! and there’s this new cat on the scene with these web shooters like PFFZZTT PFFZTTT! lacing up everybody left and right, and my boy Scotty’s like “Look, I don’t wanna hurt you, lady.” but the Black Widow gets him down like OW-

They keep fighting all over the place until everyone’s like 'We gotta stop that plane yo.“ or "We gotta get on that plane yo.” So my boy Scotty’s like, “I got this distraction bro, I hope it works.” and he uses his suit to get like, crazy stupid big and grabs the War Machine out of the air like I GOT YOU FOOL! HA HA HA HA HA HA! and Spider-dude’s like, “I got this…” and swings around, roping Scotty’s knees… I always knew Scotty’s knees was like his weak point cause of this one time when-

Anyway, he goes down like OW and the Panther’s coming after Cold Soulja like, “You killed my Father”, and Black Widow comes out like, “I know I’m supposed to stop you guys but you need to bounce right now.” and hits Panther with the taser DT-DT-DT-DT-DT so they can get away. The Vision dude comes in like, “You need to surrender”, and blasts at the dudes runnin’ but the beam hits War Machine instead. Falcon Man’s like, “I’m sorry.” and Iron Man’s like, BAM!

So my boy Scotty and the crew go to jail after Captain and Cold Soulja get away, and Iron Man’s like, “I think Captain’s right. I think there’s someone doing this to us.” and Captain’s like, “I told you!” and Cold Soulja’s like -grunt, nod- So then the bad guy comes down and he’s already got the other cold guys laid out, you know cold like dead, cause that wasn’t even his real plan.

He’s like, “Here’s my real plan! I’m gonna tear the Avengers apart with this!” and plays this tape, on this tape, Cold Soulja’s tearing up Iron Man’s Mama and Daddy, so then things get real. Like, Iron Man goes after Cold Soulja like “You killed my Mom.” and Captain’s like, “He was brainwashed.” and Iron Man’s like “You knew and didn’t tell me, really not cool!” and Iron Man blows off Cold Soulja’s arm like BOOM! and gets him down, goes in for the kill but Captain keeps stopping him. They go one-on-one and Captain gets rocking with them combos until Iron Man’s like, “I’m analyzing your moves, dude. Check this!” and starts hitting back, tells Captain like, “Stay down, man. I ain’t playin’.” and Captain’s like “Bring it.” So then Captain breaks Iron Man’s suit and helps Cold Soulja get away, and Iron Man’s like, “You don’t deserve that shield! My Daddy made that shield!” and Captain’s like, “FINE GEEZ.” CLANG.

Then Big Bad’s like, “My mission is complete. I avenged my family. I win.” But he goes to pull the trigger on himself and Panther comes in like, “Nuh-uh. You’re going to the jail, bad dude.” Then Captain breaks my boy Scotty and the crew out of jail and throws Iron Man a line like, “Peace, bro. Hope we can be boys again one day. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

So I was redoing a wall at work today and folding some shirts put in it, when this mom and a couple little kids come through and the older boy is just staring at me.

This isn’t that unusual, a lot of kids seem interested in workers when their parents are shopping, but after a minute of so of watching me fold sjidts, this kid goes, “hey mama, why is that man* folding shirts I thought only Mama’s did that” and this mom deadass looks this kid in the eye and says, “no, everyone is supposed to do stuff like that, I do it for you because I love you and daddy is just lazy and expects mama to do everything for him” and I tried so hard not to bust out laughing.

*I present gender neutral at work and when combined with my height a lot of people read gay male it doesn’t bother especially with kids.

I’m really kind of sick of this trend where, when an article comes out about a Black person doing something amazing on incredible, someone goes “His mama didn’t name him Brooklyn Man. His name is blablabla…”

Like, I get why this is a thing, like that one time a dude stopped a robbery or a murder or what ever and the article had him as “Ex-Con”. Or when the person is actually already notable, but they erase the person’s name. The press does try to erase our names in racist ways.

That said….the person’s name is usually printed in the article. It’s usually within the first three sentences.

News articles typically don’t include a person’s name in a headline unless they’re already well known. Yes, for us there’s often other reasons that they don’t include it, and yes every so often you’ll come across one that does. But for the most part, it’s a common practice. We don’t learn the name of the person unless we read the article. That’s just the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the news goes (small joke, sorry but I couldn’t resist).

When people do this, and the article actually DOES say the person’s name, I find myself thinking “they weren’t trying to erase this person’s name. Why is this necessary.” And really, I think I know why: we don’t expect people to click on these articles and read them.

We get upset that a headline doesn’t tell us Joan Smith’s name, because we know that a lot of people will read the headline ONLY and not the article, so Joan Smith won’t become famous for curing cancer at 11 years old or whatever. But that’s not the news’ fault, that’s on us. They write these articles and try to give them interesting headlines so that we WILL read them. But then we decide not to, for whatever reason. This is on us.

So basically, I’m not saying that racism in journalism isn’t real or that there isn’t a widespread issue of erasing the names of Black people in news to stop them from getting the recognition they deserve. I’m saying that, when an article ISN’T doing this, we don’t have to take on this antagonistic tone. The reporter wants Joan to be famous, too, that’s why they wrote an article and put her name in it.

So in cases where there’s no apparent evidence of racism or erasure, I propose an alternative. Instead, let’s not say “their name is blablabla”, let’s say “Read the article, learn their name, make them famous”.