mallet instruments

Okay so it seems like people will call any mallet percussion instrument a xylophone and I’m here to teach you shit.

This is a xylophone. The wood part is thick and it’s high pitched.

This is a marimba. It’s huge and expensive. No like a small one costs over $4,000 (3186.20 euros). The key things are really long and thin.

Now do you see this beautiful instrument? This is called the vibraphone motherfuckers. Or just the vibes. Anyways it sounds amazing. I could marry the sound. Basically, it;s made of metal and you have a pedal to stop it from ringing too long.

This is the glockenphejksdfjkl. I have no idea how to spell it, so lets just call it the orchestral bells. If you hit this shit too loud it can burst your eardrums. 

These are a joke.

the astro marching band au
  • everyone knows who jinjin is before he even starts high school bc he’s been playing drums Forever
  • literally he walks into first band camp and all the officers are just like “yep hes the next drum major”
  • manages to land battery captain as a freshman which is Unheard of and everyone respects him cause hes fuckin great
  • except mj
  • mj’s a shit
  • thats because mj is an oboe player who cant march bc “marching oboe is DANGEROUS you can DIE” 
  • so he goes to front ensemble and while jinjin isn’t in charge of front ensemble they do plenty of rehearsals together and jinjin has no idea what to do with this sunshine of a kid who has never played a mallet instrument in his life and goes around singing under his breath 
  • but he can memorize his music and vibe so who is jinjin to complain he’s cute too
  • mjs favorite part of being a front ensemble freshman is being stuck on the random instruments like gong which means he can just stare at drumline when they decide its too hot and go shirtless
  • he may or may not miss a gong hit
  • or two
  • oops
  • fast forward a year and moonbin and eunwoo enter the program 
  • eunwoo is this state ranked flute player who literally everyone just stares at bc a) hes beautiful b) hes brilliant c) hes a fuckin amazing flute player like what even
  • except this boy isn’t marching flute, oh no. he’s a guard boy. his lines are beautiful, and the guard instructor may have cried when he realized he was getting eunwoo pls im crying eunwoo as a guard boy my soul
  • no one was more shocked than moonbin who joined 100% thinking he would end up on tenor drums bc He’s Great but instead had to deal with bass drum like every other freshman bc hierarchy exists and jinjin takes no shit but it was ok bc the bass drums just happened to always end sets real close to where eunwoo was
  • and if that meant bin got to talk to the really pretty guard boy he wasn’t complaining 
  • bin may or may not have begged jinjin to make sure they were on the guard bus to states so he could sit next to eunwoo
  • jinjin obliged bc it meant that front ensemble would also be stuck on the guard bus
  • eunwoo fell asleep on bin, mj fell asleep on jinjin, everyone died i died thinking about it 
  • the next year jinjin gets assistant drum major, which means he’s no longer marching so great!! for moonbin who gets a tenor spot, not great!! for the battery section which has lost its leader of two years and flounders a bit
  • the biggest benefit of jinjin becoming assistant drum major is the ability for mj, who has moved to a mallet instrument and is always front and center bc of his ability to vibe being able to make faces at jinjin and fuck him up
  • but then rocky shows up at band camp in raybans and twirling drum sticks in his fingers and snatches the center snare spot from everyone bc its rocky what CANT HE DO
  • bin automatically claims him as a best friend
  • rocky and bin come up with so much dumb shit which begins innocently enough like making up weird sentences to memorize rhythms and seeing who could cause a bigger distraction during lunch or accidentally letting locker doors close when changing behind them
  • jinjin draws the line at the idea of rocky and bin exchanging sticks in the middle of the performance by throwing them at each other this aint drumline boys 
  • fast forward another year and finally sanha joins, and he’s a trumpet player is anyone shocked im not
  • jinjin is now head drum major, mj is front ensemble section leader, rocky is technically battery captain but shares it with bin and eunwoo is saber captain
  • jinjin and mj are basically married at this point
  • moonbin is v much in love with eunwoo and rocky is five seconds away from hurling a drum at him bc he keeps messing up rhythms bc he’s always getting distracted by eunwoo tossing 
  • so rocky, being rocky, with the help of jinjin decides to do somethin about it
  • which is during freshman/senior bonding which is where innocent freshman have to do the tasks the seniors ask of them or risk running laps, jinjin makes sanha go up to eunwoo during the middle of lunch and loudly say “MOONBIN THINKS UR PRETTY” and run away
  • bin may or may not have tackled rocky 
  • all the guard girls screamed and eunwoo blushed ten shades of red but ya know it worked because over the weekend eunwoo and bin went on a date and the marching band power couple of binu was born
  • sanha is also the bane of jinjin’s existence 
  • bc sanha is a good player, but the problem is that sanha knows it and is the piece of shit thats always upsetting the balance by going up to third octave and overblasting and always making faces at jinjin whenever hes trying to be serious and get the band to check their positions
  • mj loves it
  • jinjin may have threatened divorce 
  • and y’all this is just the shit that happens in marching season
Band (Part 2)

College band kid again! Today we had our last practice before our concert on Friday.

Literally all this happened today.

- Two kids went back and forth speaking in different TV show character voices while everyone died laughing.

- Trumpet player not realizing how loud he said the word, “SHIT!” DURING A SONG.

- *As my band director walks on the stage.* “And then they will throw babies at my face.”

- “I will drop my hands, turn around, and bow. Don’t be surprised if they don’t clap right away, they’re still processing it.” - Band director

- “This isn’t even any of ours.” *Chucks drumstick out into house*

- Kenny: *picks up drumstick from house and starts playing on armrest*

Band director: *Walks back into house* KENNY. STOP HITTING THINGS.

- A guy said, “Touch my butt.” He turned around and realized I wasn’t his girlfriend.

- My band director almost fell over trying to get her podium up. A clarinetist had to help her.

- The fact my band director screamed from backstage and nobody heard her. (She wasn’t in danger, she just wanted to let us know we could take the mallet instruments/chimes through the gym and to the theatre.)

- *Band warms up*
*Lights get SUPER BRIGHT and everyone just stops playing for a second as they’re trying not to be blinded*

- *Band director points to the backdrop* “You know? I know this is the set for The Little Mermaid, but it’s actually a good band shell….”

- Band director: I’m going to be playing percussion for it, but go see The Little Mermaid for Lance and Kristen! I’ll just happen to be there….

- Band director: We have like EIGHT KIDS AUDITIONING AND ONE OF THEM IS AN OBOE. But there’s no brass…. (We have 4 brass players.)

(That number of kids would almost double our band.)

- *In a very bad southern accent* “Have you tried marking time?”

- “Don’t touch the set pieces. Don’t put stuff on the set pieces. DON’T EVEN LOOK AT THE SET PIECES CROSSEYED.” - Band director

- “I’m going to turn the house lights on so you don’t die.”

- Kenny: (As Lance descends down the stairs) AAAAAAND HERE’S OUR NEXT CONTESTANT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT!

Band director: (While making motions.) Then they’re (the contestant) running down the stairs and their boobs are flying out of their shirt???? Its happened.

- *Entire band singing All-Star*
*Everyone stops singing and realizes what that means.*
*Band director bursts out laughing.*

- Kenny: *Moves baseball hat to the side of his head* Yo yo!

Bass Clarinetist: No, Kenny.

- Bass Clarinetist: I worry about you two… A lot.

I’m surprised we actually got anything done….

Why Band Geeks is indisputably the best episode of Spongebob, perhaps of any cartoon of all time

  • “Yeah we’re from the pet hospital down the street I understand you have a dying animal on the premises”
  • “You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent”
  • Just how Squidward is so absolutely relatable in this episode in general
  • Shitty band humor
  • When Squidward walks in and everyone seems to be having conversations amongst themselves but its all just total gibberish what the fuck i love it
  • The most classic “Is mayonnaise and instrument?”
  • “Horseradish isnt an instrument either”
  • *puts hand down without saying anything*
  • When they try playing the drum mallets like wind instruments
  •  “Whoever’s the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on”
  • *bwap bwap bwap bwap bwap bwap bwap”
  • *bwap*
  • *BWWAAAAAAaaa*
  • The flag twirlers flying into a blimp and then the trumpet fish plays Taps and Squidward assumes the fetal position
  • Plankton’s harmonica solo
  • “People talk loud when they wanna sound smart, right?”
  • Big
  • “Oh, so now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us?”
  • As a musician the entire fight scene where they destroy the instruments is both hilarious and horrifically painful to witness
  • Like thats the Mood after a really bad practice
  • When class is over and they’re immediately getting along again, also Mood
  • “Crushed it into little tiny bite-sized pieces”
  • “Thanks for nothing!”
  • “You’re welcome”
  • “A one, a two, a skiddlydiddlydo!”
  • “they couldnt come they,,,died”
  • Spongebob’s eager face
  • The fact that the Bubble Bowl is directly under a human football stadium
  • “These are some ugly lookin fish”

anonymous asked:

how did you choose your name PitViperOfDoom?

I came up with the name in high school, and I was in band for all four years. At my school, if you were in band then you were required to be in marching band (we did competitions and stuff). I was an oboist, and you can’t march with an oboe, so they stuck me in the front ensemble, or the “pit”. Basically the pit was a bunch of big stationary percussion instruments like mallet instruments (marimbas, vibraphones, xylophones), some carts with miscellaneous percussion instruments (like brake drums, triangles, chimes, etc.), and synthesizers (which I played, because I’m also a pianist). So yeah “pit viper” is a play on that, because I was a band geek and I like snakes, and I tacked the “of doom” at the end because I was a fan of Invader Zim at the time.

And it’s held up pretty well over the years! Hasn’t gone stale or embarrassing.


I’m trying to sell some mallets I’ve never used just because I haven’t had the need for them. The only ones that have been used maybe about twice is the medium pair. They’re all part of the new Robert Van Sice series from Vic firth.
-Robert Van Sice M126 (Hard) ($25 a pair, $45 for the set)
-Robert Van Sice M125 (Medium Hard) ($25 a pair, $45 for the set)
-Robert Van Sice M124 (Medium) ($25 a pair, $40 for the set)

I bought them for about $60 a set, so I’m giving a pretty good deal on these. If you want mallets that last awhile these are a good buy. They use a new synthetic yarn that’s promised to not fray like traditional yarn.

If you’re interested please message me on here or shoot me an email at Thanks!

What even is technique with pit instruments

Two mallets:
Wind player: How do you hold those
Mallet player: it’s weird

Four mallets:
Wind player: How do you hold those???
Mallet player: it hurts

Six mallets:
Wind player: hOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?!?

anonymous asked:

Could you suggest some weeeiiiirrddd music? By weird I mean like,,, idk - pieces that use quartal harmony or are reallyy crazy with time signatures or are just /aggressively serialist or minimalist/ or somethin

Messiaen - Quartet for the End of Time
Berg - Four Pieces for Clarinet and Piano
Maslanka - Symphony 4, Give Us This Day
Newman - De Profundis
Reich - Music for Mallet Instruments
Ayres - The Singers (you won’t find this online)
Orff - Carmina Burana, mvt XIII
Clausen - At The Round Earth’s Imagined Corners
That one guy with a Q - Quarter Tone Preludes

Band director quotes 2

Band director: Horn angles, TRUMPETS HORN ANGLES!
Band director: Oh gosh, what just happened?
Band director: Flutes play louder.
Band director: Yes, I’ll resting the marimba
Band director: Anyone need new reeds?
Band director: Did anyone even MEMORIZE THIER MUSIC?
Band director: *tries to avoid neighbors yelling at the band while they practice at 8 o’clock at night*
Band director: Tubas, your upbeats, not downbeats.
Band director: *explains how to count in 7/8 for the 17th time*
Band director: You’re putting you uniform on the hanger wrong.
Band director: Get off the drumset, your not in percussion.
Band director: *tries to rearrange all the trophies so they all fit in one space*
Band director: You need to be here AT 7! If you’re here after that. You’re late.
Band director: One more time.
Band director: One more time.
Band director: One more time.
Band director: One more time.
Band director: One more time.
Band director: One more time.
Band director: One more time.
Band director: One more time.
Band director: JUST one more time.
Band director: 5 minute water break!
Band director: Everyone go to the bathroom now we are NOT stopping.
Band director: This is ONLY a bathroom stop, we ARE NOT buying anything.
Band director: *tries to fix stuff in the band room*
Band director: If this stuff doesn’t get claimed I’m taking it to Goodwill.
Band director *attempts to fix instrument*
Band director: GIVE ME BACK MY BATON!
Band director: What did you do to the freshman this time?
Band director: I don’t even want to know what you’re doing.
Band director: Did you just? *sigh*
Band director: You’re flat… Now you’re sharp…. Still sharp…. STILL sharp…. Now you’re flat again.
Band director: Guys, GUYS lets get back to playing.
Band director: Sometimes I wonder why I even accepted this job….


Echo ♥

smashyclaw  asked:

Hey Flans, I was wondering if you could divulge (and recollect) how you recorded Don’t Let’s Start. Specifically: microphones/guitars used, drum machine models, and synthesizer types. I'm in my last year at the University of Colorado for a Recording Arts degree. An assignment I have is to record a copy-cat song (making a cover, and getting it as close as possible to the original). We chose DLS to work on, cause ya know, you're my favorite band ever. Thanks. - Austin

JF: These memories are fading so I’ll try to get it all in here!

For the final sessions for the first album we made the very happy move to Al Houghton’s Dubway Studio. At the time Al, who was such a positive force for us, was working out of the notorious Music Building on 8th Ave. a few blocks off of Times Square. The building was, and remains, 12 stories of rooms where there was no noise limit (!?!) Taking that elevator ride sounded like spinning the weirdest, loudest radio dial imaginable. At the time it seemed like the entire New York music scene either rehearsed, recorded or was living (illegally) there. 

Don’t Let’s Start was part of these later recordings. It was recorded to an 8 track reel to reel machine (7 live tracks and a sync track for the drum machine which played “virtually” through the mixing console) and mixed through a small Ramsa board. Al, Bill Krauss, JL and me all took part in various fader and machine moves during mixing. Doing an analog mix back then was an “all hands on deck” deal—a very fraternal and often giddy activity. It usually seemed to start off tense, got fun, then both, as they always took a little longer than we planned.

The guitar was a Fernandez telecaster copy (not so bad, not so great) with the distortion coming from a pedal called the Chandler Tube Driver (the pedal is a bit of a unicorn—it had an actual analog tube inside) and the Boss Heavy Metal pedal. I used my trusty silverface Fender Deluxe (the only amp I used live or for recording thru Apollo 18). The chorusing and reverb sounds on the guitar track were put on during the mix.

Like a lot of the album, the drum machine was either our new, very up-to-date sounding Yamaha DX11 or a borrowed DX15. (check out this youtube demo You can hear a lot of Hope That I Get Old in these sounds) The two machines were nearly-identical but the RX15 had independent outputs for each drum sound which helped a lot. I think the bass sound was from one of Al’s keyboards (maybe a Roland Juno?) simply because it sounds a bit warmer than other basses on the album, but I’m not positive. It’s possible, although again I am not positive, the keyboard was the Casio CZ-101, which was an early band purchase. That Casio is all over the rest of the album—the glissy sounds in Chess Piece Face, the mallet instrument and whistling on Hideaway Folk Family.

Everything about studios then was intense. We were staring at the clock a lot, but we still had a ton of fun. But even with a lot of preparation, technically recording for us was not without struggle. These days lots of folks talk very nostalgically about working analog but, at the level we were working at, analog created a set of issues that I am happy are long gone. Keeping hiss to just a manageable minimum was stupefyingly hard. It was also far more difficult for folks like us (with little studio time working on mostly semi-pro gear) to make recordings that were sonically open. I would be the first to admit we seemed mighty shy about low end on the first couple of albums, but the bigger and more immediate challenge in front of us was getting or retaining any semblance of clarity through the process. Every piece of the signal chain was like another pillow on top of the sound: tracking to a soft sounding tape recorder through mushy noise reduction, mixing through a very noisy Ramsa board and then mastering to another soft sounding 2 track open reel machine. (There was a period a bit later where I owned a Tascam 2 track machine and then traded it up for a far more professional Otari machine. The sonic improvement reminded me of getting my first pair of glasses. It made me a little sad we had done so much work on these barely passable machines)

That said, just listening to that charming youtube clip of the Yamaha drum machine’s truly funky sounds makes me want to break it out of the attic and do something with it again! 

PS: After I posted I see you asked about mics—-seems like the go-to mics were the Shure 57 (which we still use at virtually every session) and the AKG 414 (which we never use now). Keyboards and drum machines always went direct. I recall the Sennheiser MD421 (the star trekky looking one) but that might have only been used on horns.

As far as getting the Yamaha RX sounds—it might be available through UVI or on the MOTU BPM plug-in. GOOD LUCK!

today in band class we did that thing where everyone has to play an improvised measure using notes of a scale, and it went all fine and good until we got to the percussionists and there weren’t enough mallet instruments for all of them so this one guy juST FREAKING SMASHED THE GONG AS LOUD AS HE COULD INSTEAD OF BORROWING AN ACTUAL KEYBOARD INSTRUMENT AND THE WHOLE CLASS SCREAMED AND IT WAS WONDERFUL