malibu house

anonymous asked:

The avengers are back post CW and for good publicity they all do a Reddit style AMA. While most of the avengers try to keep their answers generic and PC, Tony actually answers sincerely and honestly. (Also how great would it be if tony got a question about his bots and he let's them answer and they basically hi Jack the whole thing)

I had to google reddit style ama, because I don’t Reddit but I love this. I think they’d probably do it in person, or through a livestream. 

The chat is flooded with questions, most of them not ones a lawyer would recommend they answer, such as. 

“Captain America, how many people have you killed?” or “What made you decide that you knew better than 117 countries?” Still they did say ask me anything.

“Okay, Jarvis will be selecting questions at random, so everyone go ahead and flood the chat with anything you want to know.” Tony smiles at the camera as the first questions start rolling in. 

“Does Black Widow snore?” Jarvis reads off, it’s a good question, something that will make them seem more personable, although Natasha glaring at the camera doesn’t help that image. 

“Like a freight train.” Clint answers, jumping out of the way when Natasha plans to elbow him.  

“What part of the Accord’s did you disagree with Captain?” Jarvis reads the next one, it’s better worded than most of the other questions along the same vein, and this is what the people want to know. 

“I didn’t agree with a system where I couldn’t help people if I saw them hurting.” Steve answers, looking apologetic. “The Accords as they were would have tied our hands too much, and risked the lives of the people we fight to protect.” Tony tries not to cringe at that. 

“Dr. Stark, why doesn’t your tower have a pool? What kind of billionaire doesn’t have a pool?” Jarvis reads off, and Tony tenses slightly. 

“Wow, was to throw a hardball there J.” He jokes, smiling awkwardly. “I guess the kind of Billionaire who has experience being waterboarded in Afghanistan is the kind of billionaire that doesn’t have a pool.” The chat is flooded with messages then, and they wait for a moment for their audience to calm down. 

“Clint, what’s it like being out of retirement?” Jarvis reads off, attempting to get everyone back on track. 

“Well, it’s a lot more interesting than golf I can tell you that.” He smirks at the camera, Tony has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Do any of you work outside of the Avengers? Aside from Dr. Stark of course.” Jarvis reads, Tony waits for the team to answer. 

“Colonel Rhodes does, but aside from that no. We believe that being an Avenger is a full time job and should be the primary focus.” Steve answers seriously. Sam frowns slightly, he’d been considering getting his job at the VA back, not that it would be easy with the current political climate.

“Dr. Stark is colonel Rhodes the reason for your new prosthetic line?” The next question reads. Tony swallows thickly. 

“To a degree, Stark Industries has been working on prosthetic’s for a long time, but Rhodey getting hurt made it my primary focus.” Tony explains. “We would have gotten to this point eventually, but Rhodey’s injury definitely pushed me to work on it faster.

“Clint, what part of the Accord’s did you disagree with?” Jarvis asks, knowing full well Clint didn’t read the Accord’s. 

“Same as Cap, but I also didn’t agree with the wrongful imprisonment aspects involved.” He says, he manages to keep from glaring at Tony when he mentions it. 

“Widow, did you plan to betray Team Iron Man from the start?” Jarvis shoots, and he is not being kind to them at all. Tony shouldn’t have expected him to. 

“Of course not, but it’s hard to be in the middle of a fight like that. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt, and I made some poor decisions trying to prevent that.” She manages to look misty eyed. 

“Sir, this one is for you. ‘I’ve been interested in your work with AI’s for years, and I was wondering what happened to DUM-E after your Malibu house blew up? Is he okay?’“ Jarvis has a pleased tone to his voice. 

“Well, J. Let’s call him up and show our kind questioner.” Tony smiles at the camera. “We can take a few more questions while we wait. Let’s go for some lighter topics shall we?”

“Do any of you have or want pets?” Jarvis reads off. Wanda goes dreamy eyed. 

“I want a dog.” She says, sounding fond. “A big dog, they’re always so energetic.” 

“I want a dog as well.” Steve beams at her. Tony rolls his eyes and finds that the chat agrees  with him, that’s not a surprise. 

“I want a dragon.” Tony jokes, getting a dirty look from Steve. “But in all seriousness I’m not much of a pet person I can barely take care of myself.
 As if on cue DUM-E rolls out of the elevator coffee cup in hand. “J, is there motor oil in this?” 

“No sir, but there is some hot sauce in it.” Jarvis informs him, Tony shrugs, patting Dum-E chasis. 

“Thank you Dum-E.” He drinks the coffee. “That is a lot more than some hot sauce.” He grumbles, Dum-E beeping shrilly in his ear. “Hello internet, this is DUM-E.” 

“The internet would like to know if he can do any tricks, Sir.” Jarvis informs him, the other Avengers are pouting now, as the chat seems focused on the little robot. 

“Of course he can. He has to help out around the lab. Here, watch this Dum-E spin.” Dum-E does his best R2-D2 impression as he twirls in a circle. “Good job Dum-E now up-high.” He holds out his hand for Dum-E to bump his claw against. “fist bump.” He offers the little bot. Dum-E beeps excitedly. “And last, the most important trick of all. Dum-E Steve’s on fire.” 

“What? No!” Steve says as Dum-E whirls on him, grabbing the fire extinguisher off the wall and spraying Steve down. 

“He really liked Wall-E.” Tony jokes, as Dum-E seems satisfied that Steve is no longer on fire and is instead spraying the fire extinguisher while rolling in the opposite direction. 

“How did you make such an adorable robot?” Jarvis reads off. Natasha is wiping foam out of her hair. Clint has a mustache made of the stuff, and Steve is practically invisible under the stuff Sam has a little on his shirt but managed to escape mostly unscathed.

“Well-” Tony Starts, but Dum-E has stopped spinning camera focused on him. “Oh no.” He grumbles, as he’s doused with the fire extinguisher. “Tell my CEO I love her.” He shouts dramatically sinking into the foam. 

Dum-E is trending by the end of the day. 

Never Will I Ever

Summary: You’d waited years to get your soulmark, and when you finally did you realized that you’d never get to meet him.

Word count: 2284

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Angsty

Author’s Note: So this was an idea that I’d had anyway BUT it wasn’t in the plans to be out anytime soon. However, yesterday I found myself on the receiving end of some hate, telling me to give up on writing because I wasn’t good and that I should delete my blog. Instead it fueled me to write this. So, to that anon, thanks for the motivation! And a big thank you to all of you who have been very supportive, it means a lot. Now, I feel like this started out strong but got a little weak near the end, for that I apologize, its 5am and I’m tired…If anyone wants a part 2 let me know and I can absolutely do it.

Tags: @emilyevanston, @goody2shoessmut

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LMAO okay but I’m picturing the GIGANTIC piss baby fit Harry would/will throw if they try to suggest that Danielle needs to take pictures or Snaps at that house. “THAT IS OUR FAMILY HOME”. Oh god, I can see it in my head. It would be glorious and worth watching. “LIKE HELL SHE WILL”. Hahaha. Tell me y’all see it, too.