male-summer

((Felt like drawing my genderswapped people - especially given that I’ve never shaped my fem!Jerry and male!Beth properly. This version of female Morty I’ve made before Pocket Mortys happened, so yeah, it’s not Morticia;

So, they’re all here! August, Jenny, Erica, Monty, Bert and Scratches. Finally all together on one doodle! Yay!))

There are lots of ways to eat a pine tree.

Entrance Level: pine needles! If you’re weeksauce, you can take a handful of young needles, crush them up, and put them in boiling water to make a tea (a tisane, if you’re an asshole). The flavor is fresh and green and tastes pleasant when sweetened. If you’re hardcore and just want to eat a tree for the hell of it, you can just strip off some needles with your teeth and chew on them while maintaining eye contact with your foe. Good source of vitamin C, so be sure to bring a glade of pine trees with you on sea voyages to prevent scurvy.

Beginner Level: pine nuts! They’re technically seeds, not nuts, so few people are allergic to them. Most pines produce stupid, tiny seeds that aren’t worth the trouble, but if you find species with larger seeds, fucking go to town. They’re amazing. Eat them raw or roast them and put them in everything.

Intermediate level: pine pollen cones! In spring and early summer, male trees produce pollen cones. I guess you can use the pollen as a cooling ingredient, but you can also just bite them off the tree raw. It’s not great, but it’s not terrible. It’s also roughly equivalent to eating a tree’s…. male reproductive material.

Hardcore level: pine bark! If you strip bark from a tree, you’ve sentenced it to death, so don’t do it unless the tree is going to be killed anyway. Don’t murder a tree just to eat its skin… that’s weird. But, if a pine tree has been cut down, you can strip off the bark and eat the inner layer. If it’s hard and brown and crusty, don’t fucking eat that. The inner layer closest to the wood of the tree is softer and pale and moist. If you separate that from the outer bark, you can fry it up and eat it like a potato chip.

Inhuman level: pine wood. Humans can’t actually eat pine wood. You could be the first… I guess…. I won’t stop you from trying.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here’s a shippy playlist in honour of this not-so-holiday holiday. I tried finding songs that didn’t use words like “girl” or “boy” in them so whatever you ship makes sense with the song. Enjoy the playlist!

A Thousand Years // Christina Perri
Accidentally In Love // Counting Crows
Ammunition // Krewella
Armor // Landon Austin
Before You Go // Common Kings
Beside You // Marianas Trench
Cooler Than Me // Mike Posner
Crush // David Archuleta
Cupid’s Chokehold // Gym Class Heroes (main lyric is “girlfriend”; apologies!)
Down // Jay Sean
Dukes // Repartee
Find A Way // Safety Suit
For The Nights I Can’t Remember // Hedley (has “girl” in it; sorry!)
Forget About You // R5 (I think it might say “girl” in it? Can’t remember)
Hole In My Heart // Luke Friend
House Of Cards // Tyler Shaw
Hurricane // Bridgit Mendler
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet // Michael Bublé
I Won’t Give Up On Us // Jason Mraz
I’m Yours // Jason Mraz
If I Had You // Adam Lambert
If I Lose Myself // One Republic
Jet Lag // Simple Plan (guy and girl singers)
Kiss You Inside Out // Hedley (mentions of “girl”/female pronouns I think?)
Lego House // Ed Sheeran
Never Say Never // The Fray
Never Stop // Safety Suit (suggests that the other is female; sorry!) Not A Bad Thing // Justin Timberlake
Once In A Lifetime // Landon Austin
One Last Night // Jesse Labelle Ft. Nixon (can’t remember if there are girl pronouns)
One Wish // Tyler Shaw (can’t remember again)
Out Of My League // Fitz and the Tantrums
Please Don’t Go // Joel Adams
Ready Or Not // Bridgit Mendler (has “boy” in it)
Red // Tyler Ward (has “her” in it)
Sad Song // We The Kings (guy and girl singers)
Say You Like Me // We The Kings (can’t remember)
Ships In The Night // Mat Kearny
So Cold // Ben Cocks (more of a breakup/conflict ship song, mentions of cheating with another girl)
So Sick // NeYo (more of a breakup/conflict ship song, has female pronouns I’m pretty sure)
Stereo Hearts // Gym Class Heroes Ft. Maroon 5 (can’t remember)
Stop Standing There // Avril Lavigne (male pronouns I think?)
Summer Paradise // Simple Plan (female pronouns I think?)
The Only Exception // Paramore
Use Somebody // Kings of Leon
We Could Happen // AJ Rafael (female pronouns I think?)
When You’re Gone // Avril Lavigne (sad ship song; gone = breakup/death/leaving?)
Why Can’t I // Liz Phair (male pronouns I think?)
XO // The Eden Project (breakup song; has “girl” in it I’m pretty sure)
Your Man // Down With Webster (has “your man”, “girl” and idk what else)

I hope you all find a song that goes with your ship. HVD!