male to female to butch

Readers: Hey, why is it that whenever there’s a race of alien or monstrous sapients in SF/F literature, the females are always more conventionally humanoid than the males? I mean, yeah, sexual dimorphism is a thing, but couldn’t it be the other way ‘round?

Writers: A capital idea!

Writers: *creates alien/monstrous species where the females are larger, stronger and more inhuman than the males*

Readers: Hey, that’s pretty co-

Writers: *makes 90% of the lore about the poor, noble males being unjustly oppressed by the mean, butch females*

Readers: … you just couldn’t help yourselves, could you?

How to spot a TERF:

okay so I threw together a list of common things I see in TERF blogs so here you go.

Most definitely a TERF:

  • Follows known TERFs (destroymales, terfzilla ect)
  • Call themselves a “sex dysphoric” radfem
  • Call themselves a detransitioned radfem
  • Uses “trans males” in place of trans women
  • Call themselves “gender critical”
  • Considers TERF a slur
  • “Don’t call me a TERF”
  • “Don’t call me cis”
  • “Woman-born-woman” in their description
  • Something to do with trans women just being fetishists/crossdressers
  • Believes TERF = just another word for lesbian (ex. “I hate terfs” “why do you hate lesbians?”)
  • “Autogynephilia”
  • “Lesbian separatist”

Very likely a TERF:

  • TERF in their url (some people legitimately do use it jokingly)
  • Call themselves a “gender abolitionist” and is cis
  • Considers cis a slur (some cis people are just ignorant)
  • Unironic use of the term “womyn”
  • “Male/Female socialization”
  • Believes GNC cis people are being forced to transition
  • Believes butch lesbians are being forced to transition
  • Believes cis women are likely to be assaulted by trans women
  • Believes they can tell when someone is trans

Red Flags:

  • Radical feminist
  • “Transwomen” (some cis people honestly don’t know any better)
  • Call themselves a d*ke (I have seen a few non-TERF lesbians do this but it’s super, super common among TERFs)
  • Doesn’t consider tr***y a slur
  • Believes humans are sexually dimorphic (again, some cis people are just ignorant)

Today I had the incredible honor to be on the front of this Huff Post article. Please checkout the “Handsome Revolution Project” created by Photographer Miki Vargas!

Thoughts on fluidity in queer identities

When I talk about our sexuality and gender in terms of potential, fluidity and change, there’s always someone looking for clairity and certainty (or looking simply to mock me) who will say “Oh, so everyone is really bisexual and non-binary?”
And all I can say is: what a limited way to look at sexuality and gender. 

No, when I talk about fluidity and sexual potential, I mean the potential to be straight, bisexual and gay multiple times over the course of a lifetime. The potential to be allosexual, demisexual and asexual. The potential to be monosexual and polysexual. The potential to be male, female, non-binary, cross dresser, genderfuck, hypermasculine, butch, femme, and agender. The potential to be an asexual sexual lesbian bisexual transgender queer dragqueen all in one moment. The potential to experience all these different ways to relate to gender, to people, to intimacy, to sex, to connection.  
And I certainly don’t mean that we should all be on a constant exploration or that we should all try everything, only that we might, at any time, choose to do so, and that creates a constant state of potential to be something different from what we were.
When I talk about fluidity I mean you do not know what I will be tomorrow, or next year. And I’m not going to assume to know what you will be.

What queerness is at heart, and what simple ‘LGBT rights’ will never be, is fundamental uncertainty. The idea that anyone at any time might choose to identify differently from who they were yesterday, or might ignore identity all together and act outside the norms of heteronormativity and cisnormativity at any time. That terrifies people because it uproots what we thing we know about loyalties. If anyone may at any time change into something new, then anyone might at any time become a traitor to the systems that gave them power. That no label is fixed. That we may grow and chance, just as we now know that most of our brain is growing and changing our whole life, building new pathways. That since you do not know who I am or who I might become, you can never accurately estimate what I am capable of.