AvenJuly 7/23

The “hero” is gratuitous ab shots! LMFAO!

I’m legitimately curious. How do you feel about all these excessive clips in superhero movies where the *men* are objectified? Because the women are already objectified (hello, Black Widow), does this make it fair? What’s a solution to the ‘lets make everything sexy’ problem that’s overwhelming these KID-FRIENDLY movies?!

When I’m watching alone, I’m pretty much indifferent. Every once in a while, I’ll have a thought of “Oh, yes, he worked out hard for that role” or “I see what they’re trying to do here.”

For me to really be attracted to a character, I need a good character.  I’m putting this out here because it runs counter to the MCU’s attempt to sex everything up:  I have a huge crush on Silent Bob.  Why?  He is helpful, loyal, he has moments of wondrous compassion, and he has puppy eyes.  None of that has to do with shots of chiseled abs or bulging biceps.

When I’m watching with my kid, I talk to her about it.  “Hey Liz! Do you know why they showed that close-up of Black Widow in her skin tight black outfit?  And why she’s not just wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt? That’s what I’d wear if I had to fight.”

“No…? I mean, besides the fact that it looks cool.”

“They’re trying to create sexual attraction to the characters, to make the whole thing seem more exciting and make people more likely to see the movie.  They’ve chosen the most attractive actors and actresses, given them fitness programs to make sure they stay in shape, and filmed them in ways that make them look as attractive as possible.”

I make sure to point out that most people don’t look like that, and that’s okay.  I tell her that I set my towel on the bench in the locker room instead of covering up when I’m changing, because real life is not a movie and I have no obligation to look like Black Widow.

I approach things that could be problematic (overly sexy or violent, racist, sexist, drug content, or just plain mean) in the media she watches by bringing it up.  Ever since Colorado legalized marijuana, I’ve pointed out ads for dispensaries and talked about marijuana use.  I talk to her about alcohol, since I drink it.  I tell her why some of the memes she sees aren’t appropriate.  And I point out overly sexualized content in moves.  “Hey.  This is a thing that happens.  Here’s why.  Here’s how to be smart about it.”

I hope I’m doing this right.

And WOW this was a long entry.  

anonymous asked:

TBH I'm bitter cause there are so many "what if they made a dream mommy" posts and Imo it will never happen because people will never ever ever get excited about relationships between women like that. It would just never get that kind of buzz.

i can see it being as popular as dd if it was twisted into some weird male-gaze-y Sexy Lesbian Milfs deal, but that would be nauseating to say the least. but yeah, there’s a definite rift between how the wider public accepts gay male relationships and how it accepts lesbian relationships– in the case of dream daddy, they kind of had to make the gay relationships scrubbed clean of anything really Gay, while in the case of a “dream mommy” they’d have to play it up to a ridiculous, oversexualized, unappealing-to-actual-lesbians extent. either way, you’re having to bend the personality of the game to be digestible for straight men.

today i love the male gaze and having big tiddies because me and my sister went on the ferris wheel twice and the guys running it didn’t take our tickets either time and they didn’t even like say anything about it or even really talk to us much or be rude any more than like carnies are just in general like in their default state so… nice. like i didn’t even get it at first i was just like oh word but then i recalled my tits were out

Things that are normal

And you need to stop feeling ashamed of: • being hairy • having boobs that don’t look like perfect round porn boobs • having no boobs! • stretch marks • curves in the “wrong place” • wobbly bits • cellulite • dark circles under your eyes • “big pores” • “uneven skin tone” • anything your body does naturally that isn’t an indicator of a health problem and that society wants you to change for the male gaze

I think one of the worst things about being a girl who likes girls is that men always assume you share their male gaze. When I see a pretty girl I’m imagining what it’d be like to hold her hand and kiss her, not hoping a gust of wind blows her skirt up. I don’t plan my outings based on which place has the hottest girls. I don’t find it appropriate to make lewd comments about women. Just because I like girls doesn’t mean I like to disrespect them or prey on them the way you do.

Not only does the Wonder Woman movie not sexualize Diana, it also doesn’t sexualize Steve. Compared to the female gaze fan service provided in the second Thor movie, where the camera lovingly pans up Chris Hemworth’s water-beaded chest as he bathes himself, a moment that was met with a theater-wide sigh of feminine appreciation (and then a giggle), Steve is shown from just the shoulders up for much of the scene. Even when you are shown his whole body, it is shot from a distance. There are no loving close-ups of his Adonis belt or his flexing biceps.

When Diana sees him, she asks if he is a typical example of his sex, and while Steve automatically thinks of his penis, she isn’t thinking that at all. The camera shows Steve the way Diana sees him, which is as a man, but not as a sexual object.

Female Reading of the Male Gaze, and Sherlock

[Disclaimer because this is still getting attention:  

This isn’t about any ship

It’s barely about the show

It’s more about the male and female gaze

NOT all women see the same thing NOR all men NOR other genders

I DO feel that different people in life (pick a gender/class/race/sexuality), for whatever reason, have to and do develop different skills in evaluating other people and it’s better to be aware of that than sweep it under the carpet.

I do some massively generalizing, and I apologize for doing so, the only reason I did it was for expediency in an effort to sum up the situation as I see it.]

Why the dismissal of women’s readings of Sherlock bothers me so much

Male showrunners and actors: They’re just friends. Why are you reading sex into this?

Female fans: They obviously want each other.

Male showrunners and actors: No they don’t. You’re hysterical and oversexualized and deluded.

Female fans: No we’re not. It’s OBVIOUS they desire each other.

Male showrunners and actors: NO THEY—

Female fans: YES THEY—

[ad infinitum]

Film and television are visual mediums. The text comes from what we see, not just the script, and definitely not extra-text commentary. Sherlock especially is a strikingly visual story that is all about looking.

Any woman with any sense of self-preservation spends her whole life learning to read the male gaze. The reason is not because women are constantly checking to make sure they are desirable (as many men like to think); the reason is because women have to. The consequences for not noticing when a male gaze equals “desire” are very dangerous, and so obvious I don’t even have to explain them. Any woman who walks through a parking lot at night, who has to spend her days avoiding a co-worker who sexually harrasses her but not enough to make it worth it to fight back, who deals with members of the public service who laugh at her when she is being threatened (I am thinking of that woman in San Francisco who tried to get a BART bus driver to call the police when a man was threatening to rape her and got ignored)—any woman who LIVES ON THIS PLANET has to learn to be aware of the male gaze and interpret it for signs of arousal and/or danger from a young age. This is SO MUCH BIGGER than “women want romance” or “women want love” or any of that ignorant shorthand for “women aren’t reading this show correctly.” It is definitely bigger than Sherlock.

If a man stood right in my personal space and stared into my eyes I would know how to interpret that. If a man licked his lips while staring at my face I would know how to interpret that. If a man belitted and chased off my romantic partners I would know how to interpret that. If a man asked me to reach into his jacket and pull out his phone I would damn well know how to interpret that. Any time I have tried to brush aside suspicions under these circumstances, I was proved right that I should have trusted my instincts, and I wound up in dangerous situations (luckily, nothing terrible resulted thanks to being able to escape, but the danger was real). If I’m wrong, I’m wrong, but it’s better to err on the side of caution because the alternative is so much worse. Women have to err on the side of caution. People are right when they say the sexual tension moments in Sherlock are brief, but that doesn’t matter: if you’re a woman you have to take even the briefest flashes into account. There is a reason we call these moments “eyefucking.”

Sherlock is all about the power of sight, of the gaze, specifically the male gaze. (There’s a whole article in that, but I’ll resist.)

We get Sherlock POV when he interprets a scene, with those subtitles and graphics; we get John POV for everything else (that’s my reading, anyway; Watson is the narrator of the Sherlock Holmes tales, after all). There are only a few establishing shots/omniscient narrator scenes that aren’t from John or Sherlock’s POV, e.g. the victims at the beginning of ASIP, or Moriarty texting in front of Big Ben in ASIB or in a cell in THOB. We briefly see Irene’s POV as she looks at pictures of Sherlock (in that beautiful sequence where they look at pictures of each other), but that’s about it. (I’ve never been certain whether that dream sequence of Irene interpreting the “bed scene” was from her POV or Sherlock’s or both.) I have hopes we’ll see Molly’s POV in TEH but of course I haven’t seen it yet.

The denial of the male showrunners of Sherlock and the firm disagreement of the female fans just proves to me that even in the 21st century, men and women live in different worlds.

5 men: There’s no sexual tension.

Thousands of women: Yes there is.

5 men: Clearly you’re wrong!

I don’t need this ship to be canon, it’s not the differing opinions that bothers me. The writers are free to write whatever they want and I’m on board. I just want some acknowledgement—from the world at large—that women’s perspective on human interactions is just as valid as men’s and doesn’t come from wishful thinking. Quite the opposite.

[edit: Disclaimer: Not all women viewers see sexual tension. Not all male viewers don’t. You are free to interpret a piece of cultural iconography any way you want. So am I. Again, I love the show no matter what direction they take it in, though I reserve the right to offer criticism. You are free to ignore the silencing of women’s experiences if you really want to suck at life. I don’t think the showrunners are sexist even if they exhibit sexist behavior occasionally. I don’t think their disagreement is meant to be hurtful. But it is what it is.]


Can someone show me where the male gaze is used in Man of Steel and Batman v Superman? I keep trying to thing of where it might be hiding, but I just can’t find it.

Like, take Lois’ bathtub scene, right? She’s curled up into a ball (after all that stress I don’t blame her) and the most we see of her above the water are her shoulders and collarbone area (along with her knees). Not once does the camera or Clark try to sneak a peak: they both focus on Lois’ face. We don’t even get a POV shot from behind her head to show her looking up at Clark. It would have been an easy way to show more of her bare back, but that never happens.

There’s no male gaze at play there, so where is it? Can someone tell me?

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women but also the relation of women to themselves. The surveyor of woman in herself is male: the surveyed is female. Thus she turns herself into an object of vision: a sight.
—  John Berger, Ways of Seeing (47)

i hate when guys say shit like “why would you cut your hair? guys dont like girls with  short hair” thats like watching someone else make a sandwich for their self and saying “why are you putting tomatoes in it? i dont like tomatoes”

anonymous asked:

I disagree with that 'male writers writing female characters' reblog of yours. I get it's prolly a joke, but I just don't find it fair to alot of professional male writers-

Hi anon! I understand where you’re coming from and agree that there are writers who are men who write women very well! That being said, the post (X) is a joke, but it’s actually a joke about a really serious issue that’s occurred historically in writing. The issue, of course, being female characters written through the male gaze. 

Now, what is the male gaze? “The male gaze” refers to the depiction of women in literature/film/etc as objects of male pleasure (X). It can include character descriptions as overt as “legs up to here that I thought would feel good wrapped around me” to “kissable lips and doe eyes.” Rather than describing the character, it’s instead painting a picture of what can be done to the character.

“Legs up to here” could just be long legs that let her walk very fast.

“Kissable lips and doe eyes” could just be lips and eyes, no need to assign sensual language to them.

The importance is put on how attractive the writer/reader will find the character rather than on the story. A female character written through the male gaze does not exist as an active participant in her story– she acts as a plot device and an arousal factor.

This (X) is a great essay on this issue, explained much more thoroughly than I can manage!

STOP asking for more Firefly

STAHP. There is no other way to start this.  I loved Firefly and even more I adored Serenity.  I took the day off school and saw every screening of Serenity that day.  By the end of opening weekend I had seen the film seven times.  Total I ended up seeing that film about 12 times in theaters.  Even more in life.  Firefly was the shit.  Firefly was that thing I couldn’t love more for so long.  

Firefly, as it turns out, has a lot of problems.  Especially if you are a hashtag woke person.  There are really great elements.  The actors live and breathe these characters and if they were to come back to them today those actors could likely embrace those rolls once again.  But like I said, there are a bunch of problems.  

Let’s go with the big one.  Firefly is a big universe about the idea of what if American and Chinese cultures merged.  If after all is said and done, the only cultures that survive moving out to space was American(Mostly white) and Chinese cultures.  So why is it that casual fans don’t know this.  Why is it that most people who know this only know it because someone told them, or because Joss mentioned it in the special features of Firefly’s original DVD set way back in 2003?  

It’s almost as if there is something missing.  Something Key.  Oh, I meant someone.  That someone being FUCKING CHINESE PEOPLE.  You don’t get to just call two characters who are white with white parents the last name Tam.  White Skin is not the mixture of other races.  

Actually, other than Book and Zoe, where are the other people of color?   This is a genuine problem because not only are all of the speaking roles in the show pretty much just white people, so are the background players.  It is really quite strange.  If it was just the core worlds, I’d maybe understand it because the Alliance would definitely support Eugenics, but it is quite the weird situation.  

If you didn’t realize that Book was the magical negro and that Zoe was a stereotypical violent Black Woman, time for you to go to your room and learn about looking at non-white characters in media works.  

I know that a lot of people Love Joss.  They love that he is this self-proclaimed feminist and he’s all about these great female characters.  But he doesn’t like to talk about race.  He doesn’t like to really talk about sexual orientation*.  He doesn’t really like to talk about Trans characters.  I’m not just talking about he as a person, but the works he produces.  And when he touches on any of these subjects, it’s the lightest of touches and it really isn’t a big exploration so much as the media equivalent of click bait.  

Again, look at Firefly.  That is a whole fuck ton of straight characters, and a Bi Sex worker.  Whose Bi-ness only comes up when they want a joke for a male character, and not development for Inara.  But, Inara is a great reason why I’m glad the show never kept going.  Fun Fact:  Joss originally wanted to do a story about a drug that Inara takes.  This drug would kill anyone that rapes the person who takes it.  They were going to have Inara kidnapped by Reavers and when she was found, they would all be dead because of this drug.  Yes, Joss wanted to have the Sex Worker in the future where Sex Workers are super respected gang raped.  He thought this was a progressive and edgey story.  Then again, he set up a future where Sex Workers are respected and everything is done to keep them out of danger, and has the “likable” main character Mal slut shame her at every chance, while he was totally willing to slut around with YoSaffBridge and Nandi.  Again “Progressive”.  

And isn’t it so progressive that they have white people pepper in Chinese into their dialogue only for most of that dialogue just to be nonsensical cursing?  Or very basic thank yous or calling someone sister.  So progressive.  

So everytime you ask for more Firefly you are asking for more of this shit.   Personally?  I want something knew that doesn’t have to live with that baggage.  If Joss really wants to make a scifi feminism show, he needs to learn about TransWomen and including more women of color as leads.  One is not good enough.  

With that said, one of my favorite fan theories is that Firefly, Blade Runner, Alien, and Predator all exist in the same amalgam universe.  


Just because I hate on the fandom and think the creator has a long way to go to get better, doesn’t mean I don’t still have some love for this very flawed work.  

Every girl is faced with the choice of either submitting to feminization and being accepted, or resisting and being punished. The pressure on girls to feminize themselves is universal and unrelenting. It exists in every patriarchal culture. The styles of femininity vary in quality and degree from culture to culture, but in every patriarchal culture “woman” is defined by her allegiance and orientation towards male values and desires. 

- Linda Strega, The Big Sellout: Lesbian Femininity