male feminists

Dear teen girls,

Stop abusing your boyfriends and yes what you are doing is abuse.

Stop:

  • Yelling at him in front of his friends
  • Hitting or slapping him when he does or says something you don’t like
  • Telling him he doesn’t have a choice when it comes to decisions that involve both of you
  • Telling him he can’t hang out with friends because you don’t like him
  • Telling him to not talk to other girls even if they are his friend
  • Forcing him to spend every moment with you
  • Belittling him and pointing out all his flaws
  • Calling him stupid or making fun of him for making a mistake
  • Threatening to break up with him if he doesn’t do what you want
  • Being emotionally manipulative and crying until he does what you want
  • Accusing him of cheating every time he’s not with you
  • Blow up is phone if he doesn’t text you every five minutes
  • Telling him you are the best thing that has ever happened to him and no one else will love
  • Physically attacking him when ever you are mad
  • Forcing him to have sex despite that fact that he said he didn’t want to
  • Invading his privacy by going through his phone
  • Getting mad at him for changing his password and demanding he tell you what it is

If a guy did any of these things to a girl it would be considered abuse but since its the other way around its considered normal. Throughout High school I saw many girl treating their boyfriends like shit. Sometime even physically abusing them in the hallways and no one trying to stop it because its a girl attacking a boy.

Boys: If your girlfriend does anything on this list leave her. It is abuse and you deserve better.

Girls: if you find your self doing anything on this list to your boyfriend you need to knock it off because you are being abusive.

Dude loves his “curvy wife”’s body so much he not only thinks her deserves vast praise for it, as though it’s something brave, but he makes sure to keep talking about how many other people would find her unattractive.

I also love how he fully acknowledges that people are shitty to his wife, but thinks that’s a problem that should be made all about him, how hard it is on him, and how amazing he is for actually being with her. Which by the way, implying that you’re doing some kind of good deed by dating/being with someone is a huge insult to them. So is the underlying implication that she should be greatful to him because so many other men wouldn’t do it. 

Men; do better.

shoutout to the boys with cellulite and stretch marks. y'all are handsome as hell and your bodies are how they’re made to be. love em, you’re rad

A metaphor for men who would be Feminist Allies

Feminism is a house.

A house built by women, all the things in it were made or bought by women, women pay the gas and electricity bills, they stock the fridge, they do the cooking and the cleaning and the washing. If the roof leaks or a tap drips it is fixed by a woman and the people who live there are all women.

As a man and a Feminist or Feminist Ally, you are a guest.

It is not your house, you did not build it or buy it, nothing in it was bought or made by you or for you. You do not pay the bills and you do not run the household.

Sure being there has lots of good things for you, you are enjoying it’s hospitality, using it’s towels and shower, getting fed.

But it isn’t yours.

And as a guest you should behave with respect towards the house and its owners. You don’t critique the decor or complain about the food.

And as a guest, you are there out of the kindness and generosity of your hosts, and you can be asked to leave at any time, even for a reason which you don’t agree with, because it is their house, and you are a guest.

What men in Feminism so often do is treat it like it is their house. You walk in the door and start complaining that none of the post is addressed to you and that none of the shoes left by the door fit you. You insist that everyone watches your TV shows and demand that the owners make space on the shelves for you books and DVD’s. You tell the owners that the kitchen should be painted white instead of yellow, and then get out the paint and brushes and start re-decorating without asking permission. And then you ring up the utilities supplier and try to get them to change the name on the account to yours.

And then women stop you and say “This is our house, treat it and us with respect”.

And then you tell us that we should be grateful that you are here in our house, sleeping in our guest bed, eating our food and sitting on our sofa.

And sometimes you storm off and out of the house, slamming the door on the way, and then stand outside throwing mud at the windows, because how dare we decide what goes on in our own house and who inhabits it?

You are a guest in a house built by and for women. Remember that.

Treat us and our movement with respect, do not demand entry to it, any more than you would demand entry to someone else’s home. 

This house that we have built is the only place that we can be safe.

You have the whole world outside.