Many trans men I spoke with said they had no idea how rough women at work had it until they transitioned. As soon as they came out as men, they found their missteps minimized and their successes amplified. Often, they say, their words carried more weight: They seemed to gain authority and professional respect overnight. They also saw confirmation of the sexist attitudes they had long suspected: They recalled hearing female colleagues belittled by male bosses, or female job applicants called names.
I’ve been sitting on this question for a long time. I’m still not exactly sure how to answer it…
It’s the moment you realize your entire childhood has just been turned on its head.
It’s knowing your alters may have traumatic memories they refuse to share with you. And at the same time, dreading the day they do so.
It’s the constant fear that singletons will think you’re faking no matter what you do.
It’s defending your alters then being chastised for it: “I thought protecting was their job.”
It’s still not being able to explain things that happen, inside or outside the body.
It’s not quite ever being able to stop blaming yourself for splitting.
It’s having to apologize for things your alters do to people who don’t know you have alters.
It’s knowing your littles will never have a normal childhood.
It’s when your alter wakes up at 4am from a nightmare and you have to pay for it, exhausted the next morning.
It’s worrying about your alter who, after all the abuse he’s been through, still wonders why he exists or if he even exists at all.
It’s when your straight, male alter lapses into depression thinking about everything he’ll never be able to do with your female body.
It’s the fact that, more often than not, integration means losing a friend.
It’s that even though survival has always been the ultimate goal, “safe” still seems unattainable.
It’s being expected to function as a singleton to meet the skewed needs of a society that still believes in the illusion of “normal.”
It’s the stigma. The animosity from ignorant outsiders. Being grossly misunderstood. The denial. The isolation. The time-loss. The derealization. The depersonalization. The variety of other mental illnesses that come with the package.
This is not a comprehensive list. It’s not always so dark, but DID is not as fun or amusing as it may sometimes come across. Those moments of happiness and peace are sunbeams in a sempiternal storm.
So to answer your question, there’s no one “hardest” thing because every time any of the above happens, it feels like it couldn’t possibly get any worse than that.
So Amethyst having a male alter persona was really cool and if anything has been the closest to actual nonbinary and/or genderfluid representation. (well Stevonnie and Smoky Quartz and that’s cool but can nonbinary not be reduced to “a guy and a girl mushed together” )
And how messed up is it that they wrote her to say she just had that persona cause she didn’t feel good about herself, and now that she’s all better (which was also not written well) she doesn’t need that??
I think that can mess up young trans, nonbinary, and genderfluid kids.
Kinda a botched message, writers.
Okay this is actually pissing me off that people are STILL misinterpreting this, so let me set it straight:
Gems are sexless. They have NO genitals. They are not biologically female or male because they are, in fact, ROCKS.
Gems do, however, look and sound female. Again, they aren’t biologically female, but they naturally come out of the ground looking similar to a human female, more or less.
Gems use she/her pronouns, as opposed to a made-up gem pronoun.
Gems would have no concept of a male counterpart because they don’t reproduce sexually and therefore have no need for one.
Rebecca Sugar confirmed that Steven is the only male gem. This is true, considering he is the only gem who has a human body.
But you know what? No one, NO ONE, has said there can’t be a “male” gem.
Gems can shapeshift within reasonable proportions (ex: In Reformed, Amethyst came back with feet for hands and didn’t have any adverse effects, but she couldn’t maintain the big, distorted form later in the episode). Gems have minds of their own, and can decide to use he/him pronouns. If a gem interacts with a human and decides that they identify with the “hes” more than the “hers”, then they can make the necessary changes, just like humans do, albeit with greater ease.
Are we gonna get “male” gems in the show? Well, it clearly states in the Guide to the Crystal Gems that Amethyst has “experimented with male forms, including wrestling alter ego the Purple Puma.” I don’t think we’ll see a seriously he/him gem on the show, but there’s plenty of possibility in the fandom for trans, true nonbinary, bigender, etc. representation via gemsonas.
Basically, stop hating on the show for not having “male” gems, because it isn’t easily feasible, given that the vast majority of gems we’ve seen are unfamiliar with organic characteristics and/or have more influence from gem society.
And stop attacking people that want “male” gems, because gems aren’t mindless drones who can’t make decisions for themselves. And don’t attack people with male gemsonas!
Anyways, don’t be an asshole and let people enjoy the damn show, okay?!
The Tumblr portion of the Steven universe fandom has always been really obsessed with the idea that Lars was transgender. I can’t say I agree with it, but I get it. It’s what Tumblr does and you can’t blame a stigmatized group for believing their most supportive, accepting cartoon on television will have some kind of trans representation. I’m not doubting that they would either.
What bothers me is that the community fixates so much on Lars (honestly, why would anyone want him as their representative) when there are so many better examples. The male-coded rubies and their female pronouns, amethyst’s discomfort in her own form and her favorite male alter-ego the purple puma, etc. But probably the straightest case has been staring us in the face this whole time.
Are we just going to forget that this happened? Yes, Steven had promised a special act to the crowd, and yes, he needed to fill in Sadie’s place to avoid disappointing them, but there was no need for him to dress in drag, complete with makeup.
Also, is it not strange how well it fits him? I don’t just mean that it has the right size and proportions, or that he’s able to walkdance effortlessly in high heels, but look closely at those pumps for a second. Zoom in in you need to. Here, I’ll make it easy for you
That’s a rose bud! Rose’s Symbol! THOSE ARE HIS HIGH HEELS!
Of course, none of this should be weird considering how much a part of him Rose’s gem and spirit are. Hell, considering how unified they are, Steven is basically just her soul occupying a fleshy boy body (let me never write that three word sentence ever again). In other words:
Steven is literally a woman trapped in a boy’s body!
Okay, by now I imagine a lot of the tumblr fandom is already on board, but many more of you are probably looking for more evidence. How about the times Steven has actually taken a female form?
Yeah, I know, Stevonnie is supposed to be of ambiguous sex. I get that, but it’s clear they’re not an even mix. Between Rose, Steven and Connie they’re anywhere between 66.67% and 75% female. Their features are feminine and they’re voiced by a woman, so it seems pretty clear that Stevonnie is leaning heavily on one side of the scale, and how do they react
First with panic. Connie’s panic.
Connie has no idea if she’s stuck like this. What will she tell her parents? Steven wouldn’t have a problem with this, considering he wanted to be able to fuse, and his first reaction was to show the gems. When their fear subsides (in a matter of seconds, by the way) this is the kind of reaction we get out of Stevonnie
Running around with glee, cartwheeling and tripping over rocks. This is way too uninhibited to be Connie’s expression of excitement. A major part of the episode was about her being too embarrassed to dance around in public! This has to be Steven, but even then he’s never reacted this much to a new power, before or after this event. This means more to Steven than just getting a new power. He is excited to be a woman.
It’s not like I’m just pulling that claim out of my ass. He said it outright in Giant Woman (Both the episode and the song)
All I wanna do is see you turn into a giant woman, A giant woman! All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman.
All I wanna do is help you turn into a giant woman, A giant woman! All I wanna be is someone who gets to see a giant woman.
Oh I know it’ll be great and I just can’t wait to see the person you are together. If you give it a chance you can do a huge dance because you are a giant woman. You might even like being together and if you don’t it won’t be forever.
But if it were me, I’d really wanna be a giant woman, a giant woman! All I wanna do is see you turn into a giant woman.
Predictions: Both of us had already seen this movie and therefore had no predictions. We both knew she wasn’t a man. Or was she? (Spoiler alert: she wasn’t.)
Plot: Remember that period in the late ‘90s, early '00s, when movie studios were obsessed with making teenage adaptations of Shakespearean plays? Yeah, we know, basically the golden age of cinema. Anyway, this is one of those. She’s the Man is based off Twelfth Night, a fun but very long play which features cross-dressing –> mistaken identities –> homoerotic tension. This film is all of that – but with soccer! Amanda Bynes is a fledgling women’s soccer player who finds that her school has cut the girls’ soccer team. Spurred on by the sexist exclamations of her immediately-to-be-ex-boyfriend, she decides to impersonate her twin brother, Not-Amanda-Bynes, at his new (local??) boarding school, Illyria, so she can join the men’s soccer team, beat her ex-boyfriend, and…live as a man forever? JK, she never thought that far.
A wrench is thrown in her plans when she discovers that her new roommate is Channing Tatum, who spends a lot of this movie going NO HOMO while being shirtless or in muscle tees or whatever scrap of fabric they could find to cover his pecs. Furthermore, Amanda Bynes discovers that she…isn’t that good at soccer? Despite having previously been considered “better than half the guys” on Douchey Ex-Boyfriend’s team, she is better than 0% of the first-stringers on her new team. Maybe DEB’s team was just shitty?? Anyway, thank goodness Amanda Bynes has Channing Tatum to improve her skills in this difficult time. In a totally platonic, non-sexual way, super not-gay, they’re just like alone on the field, at dawn, at dusk, laughing, joshing, kissing kicking the ball around…
Meanwhile, Amanda Bynes has some other problems. For instance, Illyria’s resident Girl All the Good, Bad, and Regular Guys Want becomes obsessed with Amanda Bynes’s male alter-ego after they bump into each other and chat about shoes. Why her immediate reaction is “I must have him” as opposed to “he’s obviously gay,” we do not know. Unfortunately, this really comes between Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum, as Channing Tatum is one of the many dudes chasing after aforementioned GAGBRGW (…wow, should have picked a better acronym). Of course, this was only to be expected, since she literally tells Amanda Bynes that every single guy at school has asked her out. Seriously? It’s true, she’s very pretty, but surely there’s at least one dude at this school who’s gay?! (Spoiler alert: it’s CHANNING TATUM.)
Many shenanigans later (including a subplot about the Junior League and a debutante ball – whatever, who cares), Amanda Bynes is forced to reveal her identity and her boobs to everyone on the soccer field. Her brother, incidentally, pulls down his pants as well. (He’s been in London “playing his music” or whatever bullshit for most of this movie, only returning to get macked on by GAGBRGW, who seems v. not observant about height differences.) This family really has no shame about nudity. Good for them. Though initially BETRAYED, Channing Tatum comes around shockingly quickly, just thrilled to discover his sensitive gentleman lover has a vagina after all. Oh, thank god. HE COULDN’T POSSIBLY BE WITH ANOTHER DUDE. NO HOMO. He and Amanda Bynes dribble off into the sunset – maybe with some sexual issues down the line.
Best Scene: Shenanigans at the fairground, including the charming kissing-booth scene, when a flustered Channing Tatum kisses Amanda Bynes for the first time after days of yearning. It’s a fun sequence, with good physical jokes, and pretty much includes all the characters we love.
Worst Scene: The very beginning of the movie, when she’s still with her shitty sexist boyfriend, and they are nauseating. Especially nauseating because he is a shitty sexist.
Best Line: There are a number of funny lines in this movie! But we had to pick one favorite, so. “Is it just me or does this soccer game have more nudity than most?” – Amanda Bynes’s regular, non-incestuous dad! Hooray!
Worst Line: Not-Amanda-Bynes’s terrible lyrics, which his new stranger-girlfriend inexplicably loves.
Highlights of the Watching Experience: The soundtrack. All of the music – except that which is written by Not-Amanda-Bynes – is ace.
How Many POC in the Film: Three? Channing Tatum’s black friend, who’s adorably into Nerd Girl; Amanda Bynes’s black friend, who’s into…shenanigans? and this one really handsome at-least-part-Asian announcer dude at the soccer game.
Alternate Scenes: The Orphan Black/She’s the Man crossover in which groundbreakingly flimsy science allows Amanda Bynes to be cloned into two people. One of which is a lesbian who makes out with GAGBRGW, the other of which is a dude who makes out with Channing Tatum. (WHAT???? NO HOMO.)
Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: Worse. Or at least confusing. Why does it feature Douchey Ex-Boyfriend and Douchey Ex-Girlfriend so prominently? Douchey Ex-Girlfriend was so irrelevant a character that we didn’t even address her in our plot summary.
Score: 8 OUT OF 10 NO HOMO SMOOCHES.
Ranking: 1, out of the 19 movies we’ve watched so far. SORRY, PEOPLE WITH HIGHER STANDARDS. WE LOVE THIS MOVIE.
I didn’t remember this before (as I was mostly co-fronting and not entirely there), but I’m slowly starting to remember, so I guess I’ll write about it.
Frey/I met my new case worker yesterday (7/6), since my old case worker left the organization. She was nice. She took us grocery shopping (which was really just buying milk so we could take our pills) and then we went back to her office so we could put all the doctor’s appointments we need her to drive us to in her calendar.
She thanked Frey for putting his pronouns in the email and also thanked him for wearing a pin. Frey normally does not talk about being trans, as he does not identify as trans. He did mentioned “well, I’m not really trans the way most people are, I’m just a male alter in an AFAB body.”
Suddenly, the topic kind of… changed? We started talking about top surgery and misgendering and lots of gender stuff. I was surprised, seeing as this was not something Frey would normally talk about.
When I started to remember the details over night/in the morning, I mentioned this to Frey. He also didn’t remember details until then, and noted that he would never talk about that and it was not him.
I’m unsure if this was Bonnie or another alter that I don’t know about. Frey has been collecting notes, trying to figure everything out. His communication with alters other than me, P, and FL has been limited.
Frey is incredibly scared that we’re becoming increasingly unstable. This in particular isn’t the indicator of that, but in addition to other things, it’s concerning. I have therapy on Monday and I think Frey is too nervous to talk to anyone besides his friends about this, so I’ll just do the talking. I hope we can sort this out before my next semester :/
“Can I just talk to ______ instead? They’re a lot more trustworthy?”
“So you’re Gay?” “No my alter is.” “But then that means you’re gay.”
“So ____ is a boy?” “Yeah.” “A straight boy?” “Ya.” “Then keep him away from the girl locker room.”
“Doesn’t it make you a lesbian if your male alter likes girls?”
For god’s sake, my alters are they’re own people. They’re not me, they are themselves. Their sexuality or gender is who they are. Not who I am. Stop treating my alters as if they’re a part of MY personality, they’re only a part of my life. Thank you for hearing this rant. Beanie is over and out! Peace! Muah!
Adult human female is a very loose term, given that female/intersexual/male is determined by a multitude of traits such as hormones, form/secondary charactistics, gametes, chromosomes, etc. There are people who fit all of the bill for female execept hormones. I got all of the bill for female except gametes and chromosomes, and I pass as female better than my cisgender mother does. Female and male aren't really ever as simple as thought, look at all the examples of sequential hermaphroditism.(con
I got all of the bill for female except gametes and chromosomes
And DNA. And bone structure. And phenotype. And reproductive organs.
Female is a category of sex. That’s not something that can be changed, nor something a chemically and surgically altered male is equivalent to.
and I pass as female better than my cisgender mother does.
“Passing” for female doesn’t mean you are female. A fake can be passed off as an original, it doesn’t change what it is. That’s just the truth. And what do you even think that means. Why do you think your mother doesn’t “pass as female”?
Female and male aren’t really ever as simple as thought, look at all the examples of sequential hermaphroditism
Which does not occur in humans.
tinued.) The most notable examples being groupers, a common food fish, and clownfish, slightly more famous for it. Idk. More examples could be given but honestly, a quick search for sequential hermaphroditism finds more than k could give, and that isn’t touching on intersex. *complication!*
Intersex conditions have nothing to do with people surgically altering themselves to superficially resemble the opposite sex.