male abusers

anonymous asked:

lmao There were basically only women in that room when she was answering the Hook question, but apparently women who don't like gross abusive male characters need to be told to shut up because one woman likes him and she was just fighting for her right to speak - against all those other women. Yeah your logic totally makes sense.

It’s important for women not to let others talk over them.  It doesn’t matter who is talking over them.  Women are trained by a sexist society to be meek and polite and not speak up for themselves.

The only gross thing here is your idea that you get to shout down someone while they’re speaking for a question you asked them.  Go to hell for all I care but get out of my inbox.  

She did nothing wrong.

Dear teen girls,

Stop abusing your boyfriends and yes what you are doing is abuse.

Stop:

  • Yelling at him in front of his friends
  • Hitting or slapping him when he does or says something you don’t like
  • Telling him he doesn’t have a choice when it comes to decisions that involve both of you
  • Telling him he can’t hang out with friends because you don’t like him
  • Telling him to not talk to other girls even if they are his friend
  • Forcing him to spend every moment with you
  • Belittling him and pointing out all his flaws
  • Calling him stupid or making fun of him for making a mistake
  • Threatening to break up with him if he doesn’t do what you want
  • Being emotionally manipulative and crying until he does what you want
  • Accusing him of cheating every time he’s not with you
  • Blow up is phone if he doesn’t text you every five minutes
  • Telling him you are the best thing that has ever happened to him and no one else will love
  • Physically attacking him when ever you are mad
  • Forcing him to have sex despite that fact that he said he didn’t want to
  • Invading his privacy by going through his phone
  • Getting mad at him for changing his password and demanding he tell you what it is

If a guy did any of these things to a girl it would be considered abuse but since its the other way around its considered normal. Throughout High school I saw many girl treating their boyfriends like shit. Sometime even physically abusing them in the hallways and no one trying to stop it because its a girl attacking a boy.

Boys: If your girlfriend does anything on this list leave her. It is abuse and you deserve better.

Girls: if you find your self doing anything on this list to your boyfriend you need to knock it off because you are being abusive.

i’m concerned about boys with mental illnesses and eating disorders and abusive relationships and sexual assault survivor stories and self-harming tendencies who never get the attention or care or help they need because all of those things “don’t happen to men” or because “all men are horrible monsters” and i just wanna say if you’re a boy and you’re struggling with something hard, your gender doesn’t diminish or dismiss your struggles or make them any less significant or difficult and i love you and i’m here for you

10 Abusive Men’s conversational tactics every woman should be aware of:

1. Domination of conversation - at any cost

It simply doesn’t matter what it takes - making up a story, repeating the same issue over and over again, increasing the volume of his voice, calling you out on unrelated-unreal issues, taking on a threatening pose to get your attention, getting angry if you don’t carefully listen to what he has to say, throwing a tantrum, accusing you of talking too much, beating down your words, I have even seen abusive men cause fights because they wanted to dominate a conversation with a woman. Last time I tried to talk to a woman, while abusive man was standing next to her, he actually physically dragged her away, just so she wouldn’t be able to get my attention, because I refused to give it to him instead. In their minds, this is reasonable, because they feel we owe them that much, and if we refuse to make them the center of attention, it’s aggression on our part, and any action to beat us down to submission is acceptable and “nothing else should be expected of him”.

2. “What I have to say is important at the moment - every moment.”

You were trying to tell a story? He immediately comes up with a vaguely related story that happened to someone he knew that is somehow suddenly more relevant than what you wanted to say. You were trying to prove a point? He’s going to prove a different point. You have a problem that bothers you? His much smaller problem is bothering him much more, to the point where you have to feel bad for bringing your problem up in the first place. You have an achivement you’re proud of? Wait until you hear what he has done at some point in time that right now feels more relevant to him. In his mind, what you have to say simply doesn’t matter and it’s on him to figure out how to slowly bring that down to you, so you’d finally shut up and accept that his confidence is to be worshipped, yours beaten down.

3. Personal attack

Focus will be on you only if it makes you look bad. If you dared to insist that you’re heard and given a basic bit of attention, or, heavens forbid, said something that goes against his opinions and actions, you will immediately find yourself under a personal attack. You’ll be called out on things that have nothing to do with the subject. You will be deemed unfit to even speak about issues that matter to you. Suddenly, even the issues that you have personal experience and endless statistical data and proof, are not yours to speak of because “he knows better”. You’ll be called slurs, humiliated, discredited, all your knowledge of the subject will be perceived as “silly” and “wrong”, not to mention you’re a horrible person for daring to speak your mind on the subject. The point of personal attack is to make you look bad, but you’re not supposed to notice how it makes him look way worse, you’re supposed to feel rightfully called out and humbled, and fail to notice how your basic human right of speech is being trampled on, how you’re being silenced and hurt by emotional and psychological abuse by a man who found himself threatened by truth you pointed out.

4. Double Standards

“I’m a man” is an excuse not to listen, not to sympathize, not to offer compassion, not to take responsibility for his actions, not to bother with “woman logic”, not to question the consequences of his actions, not to feel guilty for indulging in primarily male behaviour that harms women but is excusable because “all men do it”. “You’re a woman” is an excuse to hold you responsible for men’s actions, and obliged to please men, to maintain your social value and appearance up to certain standards, to fulfill all male expectations and fantasies and ideas about what you should be, otherwise what good you are for? And even if you do all that, you’ll end up reduced to a slur and disposed of whenever it pleases a man to do just that. And don’t be surprised, what did you expect? They’re men.

5. Social Truth

Logic, statistics, experiences, facts, consequences and practical knowledge all have zero value before men’s social perception of what’s going on. Men have already decided that it’s them who’s suffering the worst. They’ve already decided they’re the one who need better treatment and more privileges and liberation from oppression. Men have affirmed this with each other, they’ve agreed amongst themselves that women are oppressive, bother them too much, ask for too much, don’t give them enough, don’t do enough for them. How could women expect for their issues to be taken seriously when men don’t feel like they’ve done enough for them? Men will offer you countless examples where he was expecting something from a woman and she didn’t fulfil it, so how dare she imply she could be the one who’s oppressed? How dare any woman claim anything about her life, her body, her experiences, her problems? Men have already agreed they know better, they feel confident about it because his friends and male relatives and co-workers and bosses and acquaintances will all confirm to him he’s exactly right, he’s telling the truth, how could some miser woman now claim differently? She must be stupid. Truth commonly accepted among men will ignore all evidence, all male privilege, all objective truth, all statistics, all proof. They don’t examine it critically more than “is this going in our favour” and that’s all they need to yell it from rooftops, to violently shut down every woman’s voice claiming differently, speaking from different perspective. They have support. They have backup. Countless men will agree with them. It’s all they need. Truth doesn’t matter.

6. What they don’t consider lying

Nothing is lying. If a lie needs to be told in order for a man to get something out of a woman he otherwise wouldn’t get - it’s considered fair play, in his mind. How could you blame him? After all, if he didn’t lie, he wouldn’t get what he wanted? Isn’t this how all people do things? Isn’t it a way of life? How could you expect him to tell the truth when it wasn’t going in his favour? He won’t even feel guilty. But instead, if you don’t react to his lie the way you should have - in his mind - then you are the bad one. How could you not believe his word, give him your full trust and obedience and perfect reactions he so deeply deserves? How could you even consider that he would lie to you? You don’t know what’s real, you can’t act like he’s lying when you don’t even know if he is. He is excused in saying any lie at all, but you aren’t allowed to doubt it, otherwise how will he get what he wanted and feel completely free of guilt while doing it? You should enable that much to a man, to lie and get away with it, get all he wants, and to feel like a genius for tricking everyone in such a cunning way. Oh, and you shouldn’t feel cheated and lied to because, you know, it wasn’t personal, it was just so he could get what he wants, you weren’t a person to him in this entire scheme, just a prop, you should feel stupid for falling for it, but you know, it’s his win.

7. “I’m reasonable” voice tone

All your passion and emotions that get out of you while you speak that would normally be a proof of how important and valuable talking about this issue is to you, yet he decides to perceive as you obviously spouting nonsense from being too emotional. Does he know you’re telling the truth? Of course he does. Does he know how being invalidated and accused of being “too emotional” and “hysterical” hurts you? Of course he does. Does he care? No. All he wants from you in that moment is to adapt to perspective that benefits him, rather than the one you’re presenting - you know, the one that actually expresses what’s going on and leads to acknowledgment and resolving of your problems. He isn’t interested in you being in less pain or you speaking out the truth, or you struggling less or you bringing to light how much you’re struggling with. Be reasonable. Adapt male perspective. See yourself how men see you. Quit having your own perspective, you know that’s not reasonable. Quit showing emotions about an issue that is of a big personal value to you. Look at me. I’m reasonable. You mean nothing to me. Your struggles mean nothing to me. Be like that. Don’t mean anything to yourself. Be only a benefit to me. Then you too can pretend all your issues are made up. After all your pain means nothing in comparison to benefits we get from it. It’s easy to speak with “I’m reasonable” voice and straight, emotionless face while talking about an issue that doesn’t affect you whatsoever, and you don’t care about the one who is affected, and benefit from what they’re suffering from.

8. “How can you call me out when there’s worse men”

You should be grateful he isn’t worse. He could do worse. He knows he could. He saw other men doing much worse, and thought to himself “damn, I’m nice, this is how things are done when women don’t listen” instead of, you know, intervening and saving someone from abuse like a decent person would do. He saw how cruel men are in other parts of the world. He made sure to remember it and inform women what they could expect from worse men, to remind them to be grateful that he, a nice man, isn’t like that. Now, if you’re going to call anyone out, you should first make sure to call out every guy who is worse, otherwise how is this fair towards him? If a guy who did worse isn’t called out, but he, the “nice” guy is, that is the greatest injustice ever done to mankind, and he will feel hurt and things will be unfair for him. What about you, you ask? What about him hurting you that caused you to call him out in the first place? Oh what’s fair to you doesn’t matter, you are the one who needs to make the world fair for him, or, you know, he might get worse, and it will be entirely your fault, since you didn’t arrange the world to be absolutely and completely fair towards him.

9. “I decide how you should react/your reaction is a provocation.”

Your behaviour is decided by his rules, and every single emotion, thought and action you make should only be made in his convenience. It lies on the premise that only he gets to be a human being and show his emotions freely and react the way he wants, you unfortunately, do not get the human privileges, if you react the humane way - get upset when you’re hurt, get angry when things are unfair and infuriating, point out double standards, argue and demand that your word matters too, want to have your feeling acknowledged or even argue that you have a say in how you should be treated - you’ve overstepped, and suddenly you are all wrong and whatever he does to you in return is what you deserved by provoking him. That’s, right, you being a human being is a provocation, it’s a dangerous straying from the object you’re supposed to be - that you are in his eyes, and you have to be “shown your place”, because after all, his convenience is more important than your life, and you’re only there to obey him and make him feel good about himself. Even while he’s hurting you. Even while he’s using you. Even while you’re reduced to a less than a human being.  

10. “You haven’t considered this issue from my perspective enough”

After all, you should look at things from his perspective. But you do. There’s never been a moment you didn’t consider his perspective. Just as there’s never been a moment he has considered yours. And the mere idea of taking a moment to consider your perspective - if he’s even aware that you can have one, and that your words aren’t just there to be crushed until he gets his way - is offensive and crazy to him. Instead, you get called out for not seeing things his way enough. As if you’re the one who is inconsiderate and refusing to acknowledge that he is just a human and that you can’t expect that much from him. But you’ve never forgotten that he’s a human. And you never expected that much, just to not be continually hurt and used by him, and to be treated like a valued human being. But suddenly this is too much? Too much to expect from a fellow human being? Isn’t it a lot like he’s forgotten you’re a human being, and calling you out on something that he actually did? Cruel hypocrisy that he doesn’t even seem to notice because it’s so natural and normal to him to call you out for his own wrongdoings, and to attack you if you’re not willing to obediently take blame.

@women: If a man is talking in this fashion he will get worse, not better. Ditch him at any cost.

@men: this was a list of abusive behaviour, if you don’t do any of these, there’s no reason for you to feel called out, if you do feel called out, I have bad news for you.

Abusive behaviors that are somehow acceptable to girls these daya

-hitting/slapping your boyfriend
-being possessive of your boyfriend
-not letting him see his friends
-making him put you over family
-guilting him into buying you things
-manipulating him into getting what you want
-calling him names, degrading him
-making fun of him
-stealing his credit card
-stealing his money
-alienating him from his female friends
-checking his phone


Feel free to add more to the list

you know whats weird?? guys are constantly being teased for being whipped by their gf’s for doing basic things like spending time w her and respecting her, but women who literally cook and clean up after their bfs and do everything for them to an unhealthy extent are just being ‘good girlfriends’ like isn’t there something wrong w that

Listen. Serious, real talk right now.

If you’re a boy (and you better believe this means trans men and masculine aligned n/b people), and you have been through some trauma that makes it very hard for you to be touched or be near other people, you’re okay. It’s okay. Please love yourself and know you’re not weird or different or a freak. You’re you, and that’s all anyone could ask for. Take care of yourself, okay?

they took the hair on our legs and decided it was a shameful, disgusting thing

they said nothing about their own leg hair

they took our genitals and decided it was an ugly, disgusting and shameful thing, only good enough for them to use for their pleasure

they praised their own genitals and drew them on every corner of this planet

they took our bodies and decided they have to be fragile, small and easy to objectify, or we aren’t worth as human beings anymore

they keep their human value no matter what they look like

they took our periods, neglecting they were all born from them, and decided they were gross and shameful thing, not even to be mentioned in their presence

all pain they have to go through is over-dramatized and talked about constantly

they took our clothes and made it uncomfortable, see through, impractical, revealing, objectifying

then they accused us of distracting them when we wear it, accused us of asking for unwanted touch and abuse when they feel entitled to our bodies

they set us up in a trap then laughed at us for suffering inside of it

they never intended to acknowledge our pain

what’s been done to us is “life”, according to them

what they do to each other is “our fault”, according to them

we’ve been used as scapegoats for their own faults

we’ve been used as toys for their pleasure and satisfaction

we’ve been used as trophies for them to show off their importance

it was enough

I had enough.

friendly reminder to women there’s no acceptable reason for anyone to stop you on the street, to startle you, scare you, demand your attention, notice, conversation, or phone number, nobody has the right to interrupt your day with their comments, catcalls, threats, or compliments, you do not have to be approachable to anyone for any reason, you do not have to make excuses for those who harrass you, you are not here for them, you go and get done what you want to do, the world will have to find a way to go on without you having to waste your energy and time on entitled people

Anne Hathaway has made many rom-coms in her career, but none that take a turn like the one in Colossal. She plays an alcoholic writer who returns to her small hometown, where she reconnects with a childhood friend played by Jason Sudeikis and discovers that she’s somehow linked to a Godzilla-like monster terrorizing South Korea. David Edelstein says

“What I like about Colossal is that the Spanish writer-director, Nacho Vigalondo, has an elastic notion of genre. This is a film that starts off as a giddy comedy before plunging into a grim psychodrama about a woman’s loss and recovery of power, over herself and abusive males—that also happens to feature goofy-looking giant monsters throwing each other around Korea.”

I want men to know I’m coming for them.

Every man who has hit a woman weaker than him, frightened her and caused her pain, I’m coming for you.

Every man who sexually assaulted, harassed, humiliated and harmed a woman, I’m coming for you.

Every man who abused his wife, girlfriend, daughter, mother, I’m coming for you.

Every man who has exploited women’s labour, I’m coming for you.

Every man who has held woman captive by withholding resources she was entitled to, I’m coming for you.

Every man who lied to women in order to crush their confidence and make them feel like they have no value, I’m coming for you.

Every man who spent years exploiting, using and emotionally destroying women, I’m coming for you.

Every man who took all from a woman, then abandoned her to make sure she feels worthless, I’m coming for you.

Every man who targeted vulnerable, young, insecure, frigtened, inexperienced and powerless women for fun, exploitation and his personal sexual satisfaction, I’m coming for you.

Every man who denied a woman right over her own body, I’m coming for you.

Every trafficker, kidnapper, rapist, abuser, murderer, abusive husband, abusive boss, violent assaulter and pedophile, I’m coming for you.

Every pimp, pornographer and sexual sadist on this world, I’m coming for you.

Every man who has used porn as a source of pleasure and enjoyed himself consuming women being raped, beaten, forced into susbmission and denied their own sexuality, I’m coming for you.

Every man who has screamed at a woman while she was crying in pain, I’m coming for you.

Every man who attacked and shut down a woman who was speaking out his crimes, pointing out the injustice and pain they’ve caused, I’m coming for you.

Every man who thinks he can get away with all of this, I’m coming for you.

Do not think you are safe. Do not think your crimes can be excused or tolerated. I see what you’re doing. I’m coming for you. You’ve done harm to a human being, and you’ll regret what you’ve done.

Men who need positivity are the ones who are abused.
Men who need positivity are the ones with mental illnesses.
Men who need positivity are the ones who are insecure.
Men who need positivity are the ones that get attacked just for being men.
Men who need positivity are the ones struggling with dyphoria and being laughed at because of the transtrenders making their lives harder.
Men who need positivity are the ones who are having a bad day and need to see something good to make them smile.
Men who need positivity are the ones who stim.

Men deserve and need positivity. They are not “betas” or “cucks”. They’re humans seeking out positivity and love and acceptance.

Love men, respect them, and lift them up. They’re good people.

problems with men:

too emotional - converts every emotion to rage and apathy

can’t handle rejection

resorts to violence and psychological abuse even in the most normal situations

considers his ego more important than human lives

unable to see from any other perspective than his own

considers himself an authority on every issue he stumbles on

considers himself authority on issues of groups he doesn’t belong to and knows nothing about their experiences

incapable of empathy

incapable of listening

demands insane amounts of emotional labor and catering

gives nothing in return/is not capable of returning any of it

is a general pain in the ass

gives himself the righ to act as an iresponsible child for entire existence , expects others to respect and regard him as an adult, demands rights of adult

abuses all and any power he has, uses all resources he can hold down as a threat and blackmail, plays power games, uses any chance to humiliate and put down anyone he can to assure himself of his power

is somehow blind to every bit of damage he creates

will throw a tantrum/resort to violence/blame victims/accuse and attack victims when being called out on anything, ever

will fight for his right to keep damaging and destroying other people’s lives

doesn’t see women as people

no guilt, shame or self conscience about his beliefs, actions or consequential damage to others

projects his behaviour on victims and finds ways to make victims responsible for his actions

“women are responsible for men not seeing them as human due to clothes and makeup they wear” = “women better do something abt my conviction they’re in fact objects i can violate or i will proceed to violate them and its their fault (not that anything they do would actually stop me from violating them)”

bad for women

high rates of rape, domestic abuse, manipulation, murder, violence, emotional and psychological abuse

bad for environment

bad for economy

bad for humanity in general

starts wars and kills people women created

makes himself look like the victim somehow all over again

thinks destroying everything and causing huge amounts of damage makes him god when it makes him an actual pest

isn’t reachable by empathy, compassion, logic, statistics, facts, experiences, humanity, suffering or issues of others in general

considers himself an epitome of logic and humanity based on assumption that everyone should suffer so he could have it better and how dare anyone point it out, that’s so irrational

other’s sufferings are just a game to him, also a game he thinks he should win, he will fabricate issues to no end just to win against victims and marginalized groups

doesn’t feel any guilt for manipulating and brainwashing others for his causes

no morals whatsoever

considers abuse justified unless of course it’s perpetuated against him, then it’s a tragedy and how could someone do such a thing they have no heart

doesn’t see irony when at the same time accuses victims for being oppressors and keeps them controlled via fear and threats

thinks everyone should forgive him for everything at all times without even pointing it out

irrationally paranoid about losing his dominance and controls and having anyone as much as point out the damage he makes, for it could lead to someone else taking control and then he’ll be at mercy of others, oh no, but we should all be lucky because being in his mercy was so great for the rest of us

is literally aware he had given us plenty of reasons for brutal and merciless retaliation and is thus scared out of his mind for us to take over and gain power to practice some justice

knows he’d have no value or importance without stepping on others and oppressing them, has to keep it going for the sake of keeping his ego inflated

also wants to be coddled and adored and perceived as a hero or protector at all time so he would feel good about everything he does, no matter the psychological damage to the person to pretend adoration and approval to their abuser

doesn’t care abt keeping someone in constant fear if that gives him what he wants, actually in some cases he finds it a bonus if he can keep someone permanently terrified, it means he’s important and powerful (yikes)

also lies, oh my god, no end to the lies, endless hypocrisy

likes pissing others off for fun but if someone pisses him off it’s an excuse to rape, beat up, abuse, murder, and violate that person in any possible way and they even “asked for it”

(add on to the list!)

honestly they’re such violent apathic control freaks and a narcissistic mess its time to get away from all of them, let them take their issues out on each other who cares we want liberation and to live free of all of this