Do you know what this room holds? The old Romans called them Memento Mori. Tokens of death. The story goes that a famous general was returning from battle, his chariot piled high with the golden spoils of his victory. He thrust out his chest to proclaim his invincibility to the people. Well, a slave saw this and threw an old bone at the general’s feet, saying, “Remember, death comes for us all.” And from that day, it became a custom in Rome that a slave stand in the chariot behind every general returning in victory, holding a skull and whispering into his ear. “Look behind you. Remember that you are a man. Remember that you will die.”
Vanessa: being a badass Dracula Bride fuckin shit up, fighting her friends.
Ethan: going wolfman fighting Dracula to the death, releasing Vanessa from her enthrallment.
Meanwhile: Sir Malcolm and friends fuck shit up with the vampire henchman.
Lily and Dorian: Idk they’re the odd balls Lily escaping or in fact becoming Docile, idk SOMETHING Lily’s been pretty awesome and crazy this season.
Finale: Vanessa gets with Ethan finally, also reunited with friends, INCLUDING John who vents about his dead son. WELL SINCE SATAN TOOK A BREAK WE’LL BE FUCKING HIM UP NEXT SEASON, STAY TUNED FOR ANOTHER AMAZING SEASON OF PENNY DREADFUL. THIS TIME WITH CATRIONA AND DR. SEWARD AS VANESSA’S AWESOME BFF’S
What I Got:
Vanessa: being weak and broken and sad.
Ethan: NOT turning into a werewolf to defeat Dracula like in the fucking prophecy that was mentioned 3 billion times. Instead he must bring himself to kill the one woman and person he loves most.
Meanwhile: Granted, Sir Malcolm and friends fucking shit up with the vampire henchman.
Lily and Dorian: Fucking split up and Dorian saying poetic shit. Learning that Lily’s life is infinitely more fucked up than I originally thought. PILE THE SAD SHIT ON PLEASE
Finale: Well we’ll do the worst, but expected and most anticlimactic execution of killing Vanessa to end all the torment and darkness and all that shit. And John narrates this sad shit ending as he is now alone with no friends, or family for that matter since his son died and his wife told him to fuck off unless you call Victor. All the good delicious plot lines and writing LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL BLADE OF GRASS EPISODE go down the fucking drain.