mal luck

@mal-luck they were doing an escape room type situation in area 51 where they had to get out with photographic evidence of aliens

There were 3 exits to their starting room, two of which were guarded

All of the other players left through the only door they should have reasonably been able to escape through.

There was no way to have gotten through the other doors so the dm just didn’t write what was beyond them

My cousin, the last player left in the room, removes his pants and pees on the floor.

The guards’ perception catches the sound and they start towards him and order him to drop the photos.

He drops the photos in the puddle of piss on the floor.

He says he initially thought of the images as a stereotypically large headed alien with big eyes.

I know the guy who dm’s though so I was imagining them as anime alien girls, which makes the next part worse.

The guards bend down to pick up the alien photos.

My cousin asks if the guards have to roll to see if they’re disturbed by photos of aliens covered in urine.

DM rolls.

Natural 1.

Guards are dazed for two turns.

My cousin flees through one of the guarded doors with his pants around his ankles.

He falls flat on his face outside the door.

Guards are stunned long enough that he still escapes.

DM starts crying.

His entire run is improvised.

My cousin is the only player to kill an enemy in a campaign that was not meant to have combat.

The DM quits just after this happens. My cousin is quickly being approached by another guard. He asks the replacement DM if he can switch outfits with the guard. Replacement DM isn’t familiar with stats and says he can change in 2 turns.

My cousin is practically shitting himself in glee over the fact that the first DM would absolutely known how long it takes to change into armor.

He’s the only one to survive the game and escape.

mal-luck  asked:

Agents of Shield!

Can do.

  • Push off a cliff - Grant Ward. Multiple times.
  • Frick frack - May. I mean, she’d never be interested in me, but still.
  • Marry - Simmons. I mean, how could I not? She’s just adorable.
  • Set on fire - Grant fucking Ward. Some sort of super-fire.
  • Wrap a blanket around - Fitz. Aww, Fitz. (He’s gonna be okay. I mean, he has to be okay, right? RIGHT?)
  • Be roommates with - Tripp. He’s so much better than Ward.

mal-luck  asked:

What did you think of the new Dresden Files book?

I really, really, really enjoyed it. I don’t want to go into too many details because people are, obviously, still reading it and don’t want spoilers, but it was fun, it was what I want from a Dresden Files book, and there was one line in particular that just punched me in the feels so fucking hard. That moment was brutally beautiful.