making this made me realize how much i love ward and skye

Okay, so, I don’t normally post my own things, I usually just reblog other people’s wonderful and, frankly, amazing stuff, but I need to get this out.

I’ve been reading lots on how Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s ratings are bad, and to be honest, the second and third seasons were not the best. But the show needs to be renewed because here’s the thing: girls need heroes too. Not just Captain America or Iron Man - they need female heroes. They need to know that heroes don’t always have powers. Melinda May never needed powers to become a legend, she honed those skills herself. She became a hero because she chose to be one, and Grant Ward was not a hero, despite the many chances given to him, because he chose to not be one. Daisy, or Skye, was a hero before she even got her powers because despite her past with the Rising Tide and an abusive childhood, she chose to do some good. 

Girls need to know that being weak and breaking down is alright because it is a human thing and not a silly, girlish weakness. They need to know that silence can mean strength and dresses don’t stop you from fighting. They need to know that being a scientist, a person who loves learning, does not equate to having square glasses and dull clothes and no friends. They need to know that there are different kinds of strength and bravery and love. They need to know that you can have accents on your tongue and colour on your skin but it doesn’t matter because you are more than what men label you. They need to know that they don’t need a man to complete or define them, that they are extraordinary by themselves. They need to know that despite everything, despite the impossible, they can succeed because the only person you need to believe in you is yourself. They need strong women to look up to so they can learn to become them.

I’m fifteen years old. Asian. A second-year university student in a developing country with an anxiety disorder. It means everything to me to have an Asian female character to be able to look up to and to have so many other well-rounded female characters. When I feel like I’m too small, too young to be in university, and people call me a nerd, I think of Jemma Simmons and her two phDs in fields Coulson can’t pronounce and I smile at them. When I walk through dark alleys filled with shady men on my way home and my mom tells me to be careful, I think of Melinda May and her fearlessness and I become a little braver. When people tell me that I can’t possibly be smart enough to pass a class, that everything I say is only a bravado, I remember Peggy Carter and tell them I know my own value. I pass by them three weeks later with a certificate full of A’s. When I feel like I can’t possibly go on I think about Bobbi Morse unwilling to apologize for what she believed was right and if she can be that strong, I can at least be half as strong. I think about being different and Daisy Johnson will remind be that being different can mean making a difference, and as long as I’m showing people that a tiny, little Asian woman can kick their asses in class, then I’m making a difference because I’m showing them that we can, that I belong here as much as they do. And that is what Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. shows too. Or at least, the part I love most about it. The strength, the diversity, the equality, of women. And that is why, when people ask me what S.H.I.E.L.D. is about, I say, “protection.” Because S.H.I.E.L.D. protects me from the darkness of life, it gives me a place to fall back on, a place to remind me that I am strong enough to go through each day, and when I do go through each day, it is those ladies who poke my shoulders and nudge my chin up, giving me the confidence to look at life in the eye and tell it that I am more than whatever it throws at me.

Since I can’t do much to affect the ratings from where I live, I suppose I’ll just let my fondness and my attachments to these character out and hope that abc realizes how fundamentally important it is to have a show which gives girls the strong women and the representation they need to look up to, and that despite past mistakes, season 4 (especially 4x15) has been incredible.

———-

Small addition cause when last night I posted this little rant I did not expect so many notes but I’d like to add that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. also has female antagonists, it doesn’t portray women in black and white, good or bad. The characters are so completely human and not exaggerated. It portrays women as they are. Jemma has panic attacks and Daisy made some wrong choices but they are both more than capable of saving the day using only their minds. It shows that bad things happen sometimes and you can be forced to make hard choices and all you can do is choose what do to next and that doesn’t make you evil or bad. It shows that women are capable of being villains, that we’re not just angels. And that is important because it reminds girls that being good is a choice, that we have the potential to be otherwise, that we can make men fear us as much as we can make them respect us. It shows that sometimes we make bad choices and people will think the worst of us for doing what was right but despite our human flaws we need to remember to put on our own oxygen masks first before trying to fix things. There’s a post somewhere about how Melinda May left Providence in 1x19 and she left for herself because the environment was too toxic and that speaks a lot to me because it reminds me to take care of myself and my anxiety first and leaving a place that no longer is healthy is alright. I’ve found my social anxiety taking hold of me less since I’ve found strong women, and more specifically, Asian ones too, to look up to. Because they show me that it’s all human to feel like that, and they have so many flaws but they can also save the world, and most important, save themselves. Real or not, the characters have had a profound impact on me. For that I have to thank the writers and the amazing actors. To the person who said to tweet this to the creators, by all means, go ahead since I don’t have twitter. But I realised I didn’t thank the writers and the actors last night when they’ve given me those wonderful characters, both the women and the men.

AOS 4x16: AKA Role Reversal...Role Reversal Everywhere & NOOOOOO!!!! AIDA HOW DARE YOU!!!

How we doing guys?  Good?  Do you all hate me?   I know that was a lot but now I can really properly meta things out without spoiling and I am on a computer again and not pecking out on my phone.  

I really enjoyed it, I did.  Do I like the Fitz/AIDA stuff, HADES no.  BUT I get where they are going with it and will have more under the cut.  

Please do read this before sending in an ask to see if I address it here.

This time we are under the thing due to length!

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Agents of Shield Season 4 Episode 17

The Framework episodes are turning out to be a real roller-coaster ride. The character changes they’ve incorporated are nothing short of troubling. With each episode the stakes get higher.

Last week Daisy met Coulson and he finally recognized her. Although, that doesn’t mean he remembers his old life. He only remembers fragments and even those are disjointed. Then there was the bit about the Hydra soap which was just priceless.

Also, Daisy’s reaction was amazing. I loved the part where it took her a moment to realize what he had said.

In other news, Ward is still helping out Daisy and Jemma and clearly doesn’t have all the information about them. It is also abundantly clear that he cares about Daisy. I have a love-hate reaction to this bit. I love that Ward is back and he’s a nice guy but hate that it’s not actually happening. In the real world, he’s very much dead. Feel like I’m being cheated. Anyway, he warns Daisy that HYDRA is coming for Coulson and thanks to that intel, Daisy and Jemma are able to escape with him.

While Daisy and Jemma get all of Coulson’s stuff so they can leave, they realize that Holden Radcliff is also in the Framework and he is the one person who can get them out. They just need to find out where he is and with that objective, Daisy goes back into the belly of the beast.

Next, we meet Mack and Hope and you can tell that it’s going to be very hard on him when he has to leave the Framework and lose his daughter all over again. I like their dynamic, Mack is the definition of the cool dad and I love that he calls her ‘Spark Plug’.

The whole AIDA and Fitz relationship is just vomit-inducing. It is murky as hell plus raises issues of consent which make it even more troubling. I think it is clear that AIDA has made some drastic changes to Fitz’s personality. Unlike the others, for whom she fixed a regret. I think she did way more fix a regret for Fitz. While, his cold demeanor can be attributed to cruel father, add to that, the absence of Simmons, that’s not all. I’ve already mentioned that i think he’s been programmed and this week, I feel that even more strongly because she’s told him about the other side. Of course, it could be that she’s selling that reality as a virtual one, or that it takes place in another dimension or what have you. But he clearly knows about and considers it a threat to AIDA and therefore something to be eliminated.

AIDA shows him Jemma’s photograph waiting to see his reaction and there isn’t any hint of recognition on his face.

Daisy finally gets her hands on Radcliff’s location and just as she and Ward are about to leave HYDRA, they are stopped by May. She convinces Ward to go on without her and give the information to Jemma. For a moment, it looks like May is about to arrest Daisy but instead leads her to a conference where Fitz is giving a briefing about hunting down Jemma. I loved that Ward was immediately willing to fight May and the HYRDA goons. Not for one second did he consider leaving Daisy behind.

We finally meet the leader of the resistance, Mace, the leader of Shield. I love his new suit, it looks like it’s taken its fair share of hits. Also love the stars on his gauntlets, they remind me of Captain America’s shield for some reason. Also, I enjoyed the dynamic shift between him and Coulson, where Mace is the experienced agent and Coulson is sort of the new kid on the block.

Instead of sending Daisy and May after Jemma, they are sent to arrest Mack and Hope. You can tell that when May is questioning Mack and he says that he’ll do anything to save Hope, that things are about to get screwed.

Ward and Jemma share a tense moment on the quinjet, on their way to Radcliff. I can understand her anger at the real Ward, but this Ward is not the same guy and her constant belittling of him is starting to get on my nerves. This guy put his life on the line to protect them and is continuing to do so and Jemma is so passive aggressive, constantly implying that he’s the one who’s not trustworthy. She needs to understand that while these people might be just code, they think they’re real and her constant unwillingness to see that is just mean and cruel to them.

We get a moment between Daisy and Hope and you can immediately tell how important Hope is to Mack. See, Daisy knows that she’s just code as well, but her way of handling is way more humane and kind. Also, when Daisy promised her that she would protect her father, I knew things were about to go horribly wrong.

Daisy goes to speak to Mack and he calls her Daisy and says that he remembers but falters when she mentions Yo-Yo. This was one of the best moments in the entire episode and Chloe Bennet was awesome. Her relief that he recognizes her and then horror when she sees that he actually tricked her into revealing her identity was so well acted.

We finally meet Radcliff, on an island and he seems to be living a quiet life, away from Shield and HYDRA. He still insists that he had the best intentions and that he only wanted to help people but that his ideas were twisted into something ugly.  Jemma is finally starting to get through to him when they are interrupted by Madam HYDRA and Fitz, the only thing missing in their entry was Darth Vader’s theme from Star Wars.

Mack and Hope’s happy reunion is marred by the HYDRA goons dragging a visibly beaten and nearly-unconscious Daisy. When May thanks Mack for his services, you can see that Hope is troubled and confused because Daisy was nice and kind to her.

The exchange between Radcliff and Fitz was fraught with tension and kudos to Iain De Caestecker for how brilliantly he played this cold and cruel Fitz (more on him later) He kills Agnes for no reason other than to prove Radcliff wrong. Jemma, Coulson and Ward were meanwhile watching all this happen and when Ward is about to take out Fitz, Jemma stops him by telling him that he’s been brainwashed and that she loves him and would lose him forever if Ward killed him now. And you can see that Ward really connects to the part where she talks about how much she loves Fitz, because he feels the same for Skye. Fitz sees Jemma once more here and while he does pause, there is still no glimmer of recognition on his face, he calmly leaves, leaving the Shield team to return empty handed.

Mack finds his way to the Shield base and informs those present that Skye has been taken by HYDRA is not in the best condition. And the horror and helplessness on Ward’s face says it all.

When Fitz comes to see Daisy, she looks even worse than before. She tries to reach out to Fitz but can’t. He calmly informs her that he had her blood tested again and knows that she’s an Inhuman. He plans on torturing her and when she tells him that ‘he doesn’t want to do this’ his smile is especially diabolical when he tells her that she doesn’t know him at all.

Special shout out to Mallory Jensen who was amazing AIDA. She was manipulative and yet so believable. She was great in this episode.

The promo for next week shows us only one shot of Daisy with Fitz and I think it’s from before the torture because she looks more of less the same. We also learn that HYDRA has their own super-soldier serum which May takes to fight Mace. We don’t yet know whether it’s permanent or temporary like the one Mace used to take in the real world.

I’m really not looking forward to watching Daisy go through more pain and unless Ward manages to rescue her or she can reach May, it doesn’t look like she’ll be rescuing herself.

As for how May called her Daisy Johnson, I think AIDA finally realized who could have helped Jemma within HYDRA. She knows that the only two people who hadn’t been scanned were Daisy and Jemma so logically, if Jemma logged into the Framework, then so did Daisy. Also, if you recall, AIDA specifically asks for her to join the op. It was a set-up since the beginning since AIDA knew that she would have soft-spot for Mack considering that they were partners.

Now, as to why Fitz killed Agnes, even when AIDA didn’t really want him to… I think that it’s going to be hardest for Fitz to recall his real life because of the level of changes that AIDA has made for him. The more people try to tell him that he’s not like this, that he’s better, the more strongly he’ll cling to the Framework version of himself. Pretty much everything about this Fitz is disturbing but nothing compares to his casual cruelty. He shoots Agnes and just moves on and then his encounter with Daisy, where again, he’s unaffected. He could be talking about the weather for all that it mattered to him. The only time, he has a strong reaction is when he’s with AIDA, she’s the only one who can get some kind of a reaction from him.

Also, is it possible that AIDA is stuck in the Framework like the rest of the people? Is that what she has Fitz working on? She mentions that when he completes him project, then she can go to other world and destroy it once and for all. It could be that she blocked her own exit so that no one else can escape either and this project, once complete, would allow access to her alone.

As for Skyeward, I don’t really see it go anywhere because while Ward loves her, Daisy doesn’t love him. She barely trusts him and her priority is getting her friends out of the Framework. I think Ward will assist in that endeavour but that’s about it. I would love to see more between them but it doesn’t seem too likely, especially now, that she’s in HYDRA’s clutches. It depends on how long before she either escapes or is rescued. I hope I’m wrong about this, I hope that Ward is finally given the narrative arc he should have had.

8

MCU Ladies Week

Day 1 - Favorite Character: Jemma Simmons

To whoever knows me this comes as no surprise, but anyway i don’t know if there ever was a character i relate to and love as much as i do Jemma. In season 1 she was actually almost one character with Fitz and having binge-watched through all of it it wasn’t until season 2 - when i started watching live and they split them up - that i realized just how much more i cared about HER than anybody else.

She was a wide-eyed enthusiastic scientist who was more endearing than anything, i watched her go through so much shit, first the alien virus, then her stepping up as The Medic when Skye got shot, then facing Agent Hand with her head held high, then let’s not mention the pod…but as i said it was in seaosn 2 that she got even better, a singular, fleshed-out, multifaceted dramatic character - despite getting so little screentime i suddenly could pin point every single think she was feeling and thinking, a jemma who had been through hell, who had been separated from the person she loved most first by the ward than by herself after she realized she was the one making fitz worst…yet she woke up everyday to go work for hydra, for the good of shield - her family - putting this painful smile on her face because if she didn’t she would fall apart. 

This is is, she’s a phoenix, she keeps getting hurt, her people keep getting hurt or worse, yet she gets treated like shit by most of them for a long time so that she’s so lonely, which she thinks she thinks she deserves because as The Medic it’s her responsibility to save everyone but she can’t, she just keep failing in her eyes, YET, she still goes on, tries to help skye with her painful transformation, fools RealFake!Shield, convinces herself to go kill ward because that’s a threat to her loved ones she can get rid of…then the ever so important moment for her that when she realizes she’s actually in love with fitz she goes after it, after her happiness, even after all the hurt feelings and guilt and misunderstandings between them…

let’s not even talk about the heartbreaking thing that is her time on maveth, if i start you won’t see the end of it - i touched on the kind of bravery it took her to keep on living in hell here - but the principle is the same, even now she’s always picking herself everytime she falls, always coming out wiser ad braver (even if they keep adding guillt upon guilt on her which is just sadistic of the writers at this point), making herself the wolf after being the victim (of hydra and ‘the cosmos’) so many times

plus she is just so real - she goes through such a range of emotion, she’s kind and brave, wise, heroic, sassy, spiteful, angry, so gentle, so sad and reserved, bubbly and enthusiastic, a short fused mess of a woman…

(if they just could, you know, explore all of it from HER point of view, focusing less on her love life and more on how she’s coping with all the shit they’re putting her through -.-’’’’)

I mostly relate to her for how she hides her real feelings behind a smile even if she’s dying inside, because she doesn’t want to burden others with her problems, and i find inspiring her strenght and endurance and the effort she’s making to be more open with and let others in…

so yeah she’s truly a gift, all the love to jemma :’)

we won’t give up til we’re broken

This was written post 2x18. I had every intention to go back, heavily edit, and write in some smut. But I re-read this and was just bitter and salty. So you get the original version, warts and all. Just go ahead and assume that then they bang…

we won’t give up til we’re broken | on AO3

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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. seasons 1-3

So I didn’t have time to properly think about that disaster of a finale of AOS (and I don’t have time now, not really, but I’m going to unload anyway) but here’s my thoughts on three seasons’ story.

The following is my opinion, I do not mean to offend anyone.

First of all, my sincere and deep commiserations to those of you who liked this show, actually liked it, all (or some) of the characters. I never did (except, obviously, Grant Ward) and I can’t imagine how it must have felt to have your favorite show and characters taken from you, to have been misled and called names for daring to hope.

Now, on to the AOS.

Fury to Coulson:

The principle S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded upon was pure. Protection … one word. Sometimes, to protect one man against himself … other times, to protect the planet against an alien invasion from another universe. But the belief that drives us all is the same, whether it’s one man or all mankind. That they’re worth saving.

For all the boring nature of the show this was what made me suffer through two more seasons. In childish hope that even if the team will never forgive Ward, at least he’ll be free – for the first time in his life free and able to make his own choices – and will remake himself once again. But this time in someone he himself wants to be and someone who he will like being.

You know, it’s not about Ward or whether he’s a good guy or bad guy, poor woobie and brainwashed victim or devil himself and evil incarnate. I would have been okay with him becoming a villain and staying one (actual villain, Big Bad and not this laughable attempt at creating interesting and complex villain that AOS did – because Ward was antagonist at best, he never got a chance to be the villain).

It’s about Donnie, Kara and Jiaying.

It’s about Carl Creel and Daizy and Cal.

Hunter, Coulson, Talbot:

He killed my friends, Izzy and Idaho. I watched them die. – He was brainwashed by Hydra. He didn’t know what he was doing. It took us months to undo their dirty work. – He’s a good kid. – He’s a murderer. And he had a criminal record long before Hydra got their hands on him. – He’s from the streets. He made some mistakes. He’s reformed. – I believe everyone deserves a second chance.

Coulson gave Creel a second chance because it wasn’t his friends who he killed. And Talbot is a better person than Coulson, despite AOS presenting him as a comic relief.

Coulson, Daisy:

You’re a prisoner right now, but that’s temporary. The security protocols are in place to keep everyone safe. No one blames you for this. – Then that’s on you, because I deserve the blame … all of it. And these protocols? Make them permanent, because I belong in this box. – You’re not a criminal. – That’s exactly what I am. So you can keep your forgiveness and your pity because I shouldn’t have either … or your friendship. – Daisy… you were brainwashed. Hive didn’t just get in your head … he changed it on a fundamental level. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, but that craving? I know something about that. You think vengeance is the missing piece of the puzzle, that it will make you whole again, but all it does is break you further. You’re going to get better.

Coulson was so understanding because Daisy is the closest to a family he has.

Mack, Daisy:

You think I give a damn about security protocols? You’re my partner. – We’re not partners anymore. So just leave. You remember what happened last time. – Yeah. And I forgive you. – I didn’t ask for that. – That’s too bad. I forgive you. – No, don’t be stupid. Get away, okay? Um, just get … get … – It’s okay, Daisy. It’s okay. – Get away. Get … Get … Get away! – Daisy, it’s okay.

Mack being a better person than Coulson. Again.

Cal, Coulson:

What I want is to snap your spine like celery. – See, I don’t think you really do. Oh, I think you’re willing to, but want is a different thing. It was your devotion to them that made you willing to do those terrible things all those years ago, wasn’t it? Nightmarish acts of violence that you didn’t want to commit, did you? Your wife made you do it. I’m not saying your wife is a monster, Cal. I think you already know she’s a monster. What I’m saying is you’re not. I know you’ve thought so for a long time. But deep down, you’re a good man. I believe that. I do. You got a big heart full of love. You wear it on your sleeve. You were just trying to save her, trying to please your wife. Please… Let me help you.

Coulson was so understanding because Daisy is like a daughter to him, so he saw himself in Cal and tried to save Cal for Daisy.

And then you went and wiped his mind, Phil. But of course:

Cameron Klein (Hank Thompson), Coulson:

So, I was some kind of super-spy? One of the best. We could use you. The whole story’s right here – what you were, who you were. – I know who I am. I’m Hank Thompson. I’ve got a wife I love, a kid I adore, and every day, I wake up happy. Thank you, Mr. Coulson. Thank you for… giving me a second chance, making me who I am. – You’re a good man, Mr. Thompson. You always were.

Because only a good person will react to the news of being erased from existence as if it amounts to being given a second chance. Ward refused, so…

And of course being a good person is a choice, right, Fitz?

Mack:

You know… another thing the devil is capable of? Filling a person with… so much anger and so many dark thoughts that it consumes them. But it’s up to that individual to make a choice … either let the darkness fester and grow or… let the light inside shine through and vanquish the darkness.

Because only monsters let the darkness consume them. Some people are just born evil, right, Skye?

What about for Hive?
WHEDON: There’s a different emotion for both [deaths]. You haven’t been rooting —
BELL: There are some people who are still rooting for Grant Ward.  
LOEB: #StandWithWard.
WHEDON: But he’s been the antagonist, he’s been truly evil, and he’s done terrible things.

WHEDON: Also, the one way you can generate more story is redemption. It was important for us from the beginning with Ward not to do that, because the thing that made the turn feel legitimate and made it impactful was that it was real. We never wanted to buy him back. That being said, we bought him back in little bites. He never lied to Skye when he was in prison, but we always played with, “Is he going to?” Ultimately, he’s the baddie. We literally took him to another planet and have him possessed by something even more evil. We felt like we had to defeat him also so we can move on to other things we want to do next year.

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/05/18/agents-shield-finale-deaths-season-4-spoilers

But you know the thing about monsters?

There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, “Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist?“ And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might see themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.” 
― Junot Díaz

But:

BELL: To watch him … make the turn from square guy to dark Hydra agent who shot Victoria Hand, and then going from that to watch him being manipulated by others to come into his own.
WHEDON: And yet you’re still rooting for him, still being appealing while he’s being evil. Then going through the wringer of season 2, trapped, then the villain, then the supervillain.

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/05/18/agents-shield-finale-deaths-season-4-spoilers

And I admit, I was stupid enough and naïve enough todare hoping that if Grant Ward or Kara Palamas or Donnie Gill or Jiaying overcome their circumstances, I will feel as if I actually have a chance, too.

But:

At the same time, given Ward’s death in the midseason finale, did you feel like you had to kill Hive?
BELL: Yeah, the question is…
TANCHAROEN: Where do you go from here when he is the ultimate evil? We were basically saying he is the incarnation of the first evil.
BELL: Unless they wake up from a dream…
TANCHAROEN: Yeah, if we were to try to continue his arc, there will be many people who are like, “Come on guys, let go already.”

Hive:

I only wanted to feel a connection.

It’s not like Lincoln and Daisy wanted that, too, right? And Ward?

What came with the decision to have Lincoln be the Fallen Agent?
JEPH LOEB: It was the most heartbreaking decision.
JEFF BELL: He earned it.
MAURISSA TANCHAROEN: He did earn it. With Lincoln, like Daisy, he has always struggled to find a place to belong. He found a place in Afterlife and realized, “No, not so much.” Then he was floating on his own. Then right when we see that he is finally at home with S.H.I.E.L.D., he’s given himself over to them and he’s committed to the cause, and he also admits to himself that he can’t offer Daisy anything — I mean all these things that gain him points…

Lincoln decided to leave SHIELD and start new life (I knew in this moment that he was the Fallen Agent) then he dies because he earned it.

Because of course it’s the only way to make Daisy a hero, right?

How much guilt do you think Daisy feels in the wake of Lincoln’s death? While she’s dealing with that guilt, she was also ready to sacrifice herself, so how does that change her?
WHEDON: Even after it happened, if she could’ve chosen, she would’ve chosen option A, where she would not have to live with any of this pain and she doesn’t have to live with any decisions and she was the one who did the heroic act to solve all the problems she created. She would definitely choose that option.
TANCHAROEN: That very question is what we’ll explore in season 4.
LOEB: The hardest thing for a hero to accept is if they fail in what they believe is the ultimate resolution to the problem and then someone else sacrifices themselves, they then have to continue on and live with that.

TANCHAROEN: I think it’s maybe an example of what she may be doing now. Lincoln said, “I think you’re meant for more than this.” I don’t think she’s going to take his sacrifice lightly and crawl up in a ball — maybe she did for a while — about what that meant. She didn’t get to do the one heroic act that would erase all that she had done, so now she’s going to have to do a ton of little ones for the rest of her life.

She couldn’t have become a hero without this?

So, why yes, thank you, Agents of SHIELD, for telling me that I don’t deserve anything good in life. After all we all had our traumas and it didn’t turn any of us into psychopaths, right, May?

Thank you for telling me that because I’m not strong enough or good enough to get better and make the right choice I deserve to rot in hell.

Thank you for telling me I am a monster.

And you know what? Maybe I am one. After all I am weak. Always have been. Always had to find something to convince myself it’s all not meaningless. Always had to come up with ridiculous reasons to continue living. Always had to pick up the pieces because I am pathetic and not strong enough and not good enough.

And I get that your message, Agents of SHIELD, is that you can choose to be good. It’s a choice. And humanity is worth saving. With all their flaws.

But that’s not the lesson I’m taking from you, Agents of SHIELD. It’s this:

You will be given help only if there are people who care about you already. Because they will do anything to save you, no matter the cost.

Like Coulson did for Daisy. And Akela Amador. Like Fitz did for Jemma. Like Lincoln did for Daisy. Like Fury did for Coulson.

But if there isn’t anyone who gives a damn whether you live or die, then. Maybe you’re not worth it.

After all you chose that yourself.

Thank you for that lesson, Agents of SHIELD.

Only you know what? I don’t care if you think someone like me doesn’t deserve saving. I don’t care if you think someone like me isn’t worthy. I don’t care if you think someone like me is evil.

I am who I am. And even if sometimes I don’t want to exist I’m going to find the strength to continue living.

Disintegrating

Pairing: Skye|Daisy Johnson/Grant Ward

Additional Characters: Leo Fitz, Jemma Simmons, Phil Coulson, Melinda May, Bobbi Morse, Lance Hunter, Lincoln Campbell, Alphonso Mackenzie

Additional Comments: Part One; Ghost!Ward au verse

Summary: But this was personal. This wasn’t to exchange pleasant commentary.He had to say goodbye.The one where Ward gave Skye something she can never give back.

**

There’s a stillness in the air.

It is cold, it is looming, and refuses to be forgotten it’s there. It almost takes her breath away.

The dried blood is still staining her upper lip when she finally comes face to face with the last people through the portal. It doesn’t quite bring her the kind of joy or relief she expected. The undeniable peace she wanted.

The only face she never wanted to see again is the only face she wants to see now.

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AOS 4x18:  AKA I’m sad, frustrated, and excited all at the same time!

Live footage of my Ask Box….

Originally posted by miss-malaphor

Fair warning guys, I have a VERY different take on things right now, especially with Fitz. I personally feel I got a lot of confirmation tonight.   A lot of my theories have legs still…even more are off and running.  

Even before I started my meta I had 20 asks in! Please do not send me rants about the story arc.  Hate for the writers.  Hate for the Characters.  I will lay out what I see happening here in my meta as usual.  I will answer questions and do theories.  But I won’t post negativity for someone who is on Anon.  

So here we go under the thing:

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Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: My Final Thoughts

Hopefully these will be my last words on the topic, because I’d love to forget that this show even exists, outside of some fan fics that acknowledge the protagonists’ awful deeds or remold them into actually heroic people.

The first season of the show was full of disturbing morality, like Coulson killing the two bunker guards despite having ICERs.  But I still managed to enjoy the show in spite of that, because the characters were likable enough and because the show’s “Villain of the Week” setup for most episodes made it feel like they were genuinely helping people.  I hoped, even though I knew it wouldn’t happen, that the HYDRA reveal would show our protagonists the error of the way they’d been acting without accountability or transparency, and I hoped they would change and grow accordingly.

And then came the second season.  And the second season is what causes me to say, without a doubt, that Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is the worst show I have ever seen.

I don’t mean in terms of production values.  The acting is good, the effects are certainly decent for television, the show is well-lit, well-shot, well-choreographed, and all in all, professional-looking.

The writing, however, is abysmal.  Ward somehow knows all about Skye’s father without an explanation as to why, and the writers throw in nonsense like a diner stickup as an homage to Pulp Fiction, without considering why characters on the run would draw such unnecessary attention to themselves.  The show apparently forgot Fitz’s disability at the same time they first realized Mack was a character, and Fitz and Simmons went from not speaking to liking each other to hating each other to being friends again so often it made my head spin.

And the morality of our supposed heroes is so reprehensible that I don’t understand how anyone can watch this show and come away thinking these people are doing the right thing.  We’re supposed to let it slide that Ward was tortured into three suicide attempts because he’s bad.  We’re supposed to ignore Kara’s suffering because Bobbi made a “hard call.”  We’re meant to look past the victim-blaming, the protagonist-centered morality, and the way Coulson’s S.H.I.E.L.D. is even more secretive and unaccountable than Fury’s, because these people are our heroes.

They don’t act like heroes.  Bobbi looking at the woman whose life was destroyed due to Bobbi’s choice and not even being able to genuinely say she was sorry for causing that is not heroic.  Simmons attempting to murder Ward when he was aiding their team and not an imminent threat to her life is not heroic.  Coulson keeping people trapped in solitary confinement or denying them water until they answer his questions is not heroic.  We constantly hear how S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t leave an agent behind, but their actions tell us they abandoned Kara, the Academy, and every other base as they were out on a manhunt for Garrett.  This show displays Coulson blowing up a former friend and expects us to laugh about it.

The only way our heroes look even vaguely “good” onscreen is because of the writers’ increasingly transparent attempts to make the bad guys look like the most cartoonishly evil villains ever.  Let’s make Ward Hannibal Lecter and then make him start torturing people, even though in the last season he only killed when ordered to, which is more than most of our protagonists can say.  Let’s make Kara torture people so you don’t have to feel bad about what happened to her!  Let’s make Skye’s father an occasionally super-strong murderer, and let’s make her mother into a sociopathic, murderous warmonger.  Let’s make the people in the “real S.H.I.E.L.D.” who want accountability act racist toward the Inhumans, ignoring that both Simmons and Coulson have done the exact same thing.

This is a show that displays victims taking revenge on their abusers and expects me to feel badly for the abusers.  And I will not.  Being abused doesn’t justify torture or murder, but I’m not going to hate someone for getting revenge on the people who made them a victim in the first place.

People forget that in saying HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. are two sides of the same coin, we’re saying they’re the same coin.  The same thing.  And they are.  Old S.H.I.E.L.D. was HYDRA and new S.H.I.E.L.D. is just like HYDRA.  Seriously:

HYDRA experiments on people (Mike, Lincoln, Bucky, Jiaying) and S.H.I.E.L.D. experiments on people (Donnie, Markus, Skye, Coulson, the T.A.H.I.T.I patients).

HYDRA freezes people (Bucky) and Coulson talks about Blonsky’s cryo-cell.

HYDRA erases Bucky’s memories, and S.H.I.E.L.D. erases Coulson’s, Cal’s, and all the T.A.H.I.T.I. patients’.  We know Coulson and the patients didn’t consent to this.  The show doesn’t even care to show us if Cal did.

HYDRA holds and executes people without due process or trial, and so does S.H.I.E.L.D. (Ward, Kara, Donnie, the heads of HYDRA).

HYDRA justifies death or suffering as being for the greater good (Pierce says he can bring order to the lives of seven billion by sacrificing twenty million), and Bobbi justifies Kara’s torture the same way.  No, I don’t care that it was a much smaller scale: this sort of thinking always starts on a smaller scale.  And let’s not forget that Pierce learned about striking first from Fury.

HYDRA brainwashes and S.H.I.E.L.D. uses brainwashed people like Bakshi to their advantage.  HYDRA implanted a camera in Mike Peterson’s eye and embedded weaponry into his body, and S.H.I.E.L.D. used both of those things to their benefit instead of removing them.

This show is so desperate to try and pretend that S.H.I.E.L.D. isn’t just as bad as HYDRA that they had to destroy the Inhuman’s village, kill off the S.H.I.E.L.D. members who wanted accountability, make Skye’s father a murderer and make Skye’s mother try to kill her in order to justify S.H.I.E.L.D. as the best option for our protagonist.

At this point, the only way that S.H.I.E.L.D. could be salvaged is if in the third season, Steve Rogers comes back to shut down S.H.I.E.L.D. all over again, and a new S.H.I.E.L.D. comprised of entirely new people devoted to transparency, accountability, democracy, and not violating the Geneva Conventions rises from the ashes.

But even if that happens, I’m still never touching this show again, not even with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole.

nineteen times ward tells people (and sometimes skye) that he loves her

skyewward,

To my sass and sunshine, happy happy birthday. I know I said I stopped writing fanfics, but to show you how much you mean to me, I created this little thingy just for you (Okay, it’s not really little, because this turned out longer that I intended it to be) I love you very much, and I hope you never change. You’re always there when I need you, but more importantly, you’re there when I think I don’t need you (but then I realize that I do). You deserve all the happiness in the world for being wonderful.

To the Skye of my Ward, the Laurel of my Oliver, the Robin of my Ted, the Brooke of my Lucas, the Katniss of my Gale, happy 19th birthday. I love you more than cupcakes and I know you love me more than cookies which is a big deal because you love cookies so much. 

(On your next birthday, I’ll send you Paul Wesley and Brett Dalton.)

(And HYDRA? What HYDRA? Let’s live in AU Land forever.)

(And I did this in one sitting, so I’m sorry for the mistakes.)

***

[one]

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Skimmons Fanfic: Post ''Turn, Turn, Turn'', the Bus lifts off and Jemma crosses paths with a drunk Skye

A/N: Sorry, was not totally sober while editing this! But I couldn’t get rid of the idea of Skye begging Jemma not to be another traitor and the idea of Skye acknowledging that Jemma was the first person to unconditionally  love her, that Jemma was home.

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It's a Shock Not a Kiss (Part 1 of 2)

Title: It’s a Shock Not a Kiss

Summary: Based on “I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were.”  Or, Ward and Coulson go to pick up a Rising Tide hacktivist in LA and she turns out to be Ward’s soulmate.  They’re less than thrilled with each other.  Skyeward.  T.

Word Count: 2,597

The truth is, it’s nothing more than a faulty piece of Asgardian jewelry.  Maybe humans have been using it for a millennia or so, but humans will believe anything.  They’re enraptured by the idea of soul mates.  Of finding the one.  Ward was only wearing his on his wrist as a statement.  A false hope.  And clearly, it’s broken.  So much for Asgard.

 

It was tucked under his sleeve where no one could see it, and it should’ve stayed there, cold and useless, for all of eternity, because love was just a concept and Grant Ward had decided years ago that it was a concept that he was very much not a part of.  He should’ve taken the bracelet off years ago, when he was a teenager and realized he was unloveable.  Taken it off and left it in a drawer somewhere to rot.  Lived his own life, without his destiny tied to some magic rock in a leather bracelet.  He made poor choices.  This was a big one.

 

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Your Hair Was Long

A deep-cover Grant Ward interrogates Skye.  And then it gets worse.

Part 2: Told Me I Was Beautiful | Part 3: A Pair of Dull Scissors | Part 4: I Cut His Hair Myself | Epilogue: And A Bible Didn’t Mention Us

Triggers listed in the tags.

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The Skyeward Ship Has Officially Set Sail

First, let me just say: DON’T YOU DARE CALL SKYE WEAK FOR GIVING UP THE COORDINATES

SHE WAS NOT WEAK. SHE WANTED TO SEE HIM SUFFER BUT SHE REFUSED TO LOSE HERSELF TO REVENGE, SO SHE MADE THE CHOICE TO GIVE UP THE CODE SO THAT HE WOULD LIVE. 

THAT IS NOT WEAKNESS. SHE SAVED HIS LIFE BECAUSE SHE IS GOOD. BECAUSE LETTING HIS DIE WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY. SHE MADE A CHOICE TO SAVE HIS LIFE AND THAT IS THE KIND OF STRENGTH THAT WE NEED TO SEE IN HER. 

Let’s discuss, shall we? I’ll post a more thorough episode recap once I rewatch it. 

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anonymous asked:

Skyeward shippers are happy when Skye says I'm still glad I shot you, and this time I won't try and kill you? How is that even remotely healthy? Why do you want these two people in relationship when they're not good together. Matter of fact why do you want Ward interacting with any of these people since all he does is hurt them?

Dear nonnie,

I’ve actually sat with this ask for a little while. I debated not answering it, because it seems as though this is little more than an excuse for you to dance into my asks and be passive-aggressive under the guise of anonymity. However, you have raised some points that are valid, and you have asked me to explain my point of view. To a degree. I feel as though you’ve also made some interesting comments, and so I am also going to address that. And similar statements have been put to others and I’d like to get my point of view out there so that I’m not misrepresented. As an individual. With thoughts and feelings of my own.

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10

                              W A Y    B A C K    I N T O    L O V E

                                             A Music and Lyrics AU


Gifs + Writing for @thefitzsimmonsnetwork​‘s Individual FS Music Challenge

In case you’ve never seen the movie, I had intended on writing a brief description of what was happening in the gifs above. Instead, it sort of became a mini fic (and by mini, I mean 1,929 words) but written in a description-ish style? So, in case you’re confused as to what’s going on, and you’ve never seen my favorite (guilty pleasure) rom-com/music movie, I now present to you a pretty rough, very rambly, un-beta’d, filled with love, and many cheesy (movie) lines, Way Back Into Love, a Music and Lyrics AU!

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Leo Fitz Appreciation Post

So I really love Fitz a lot and I know it’s only been 10 episodes and clearly this hiatus + winter break = me going insane, but I’m pretty sure Leo Fitz sits firmly in my top characters of all time, and with the way the show is going, and if it lasts as long as I hope it does, he’ll probably take over as favorite.

So basically, this is a post about why I love Fitz. My personal manifesto if you will, that’ll probably grow and adapt over time. But for now, this is it. Note that a lot of this is somewhat headcanon/opinion, based on the few episodes we have, but the main points stem straight from canon. Also note that this is probably not as organized as it may seem. (2700 words, 5 pages)

In summary:

  • Unashamed genius, modest hero
  • Hides behind words, but easily read
  • One half of a practically married couple that’s incredibly codependent
  • His general dynamics within the team

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Episode / Character Analysis: Agents of SHIELD, "The Beginning of the End" / Grant Ward

I have so many thoughts about that finale that I’m actually going to do my episode analysis through the lens of a character analysis - Ward, Skye, Coulson, May, Fitz and Simmons, and then Garrett and Raina. So a six-part episode review. Is it too much? Maaaaybe. Do I care? Not really at all. 

Here goes part 1, focusing on Ward. 

The rest of the metas in this series are here.

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